Sorry I already know ^^ I should continuing my other fics, but this idea popped into my mind and I can't help to write it!

Anyway I was watching Playful Kiss first of all because I 3 Korean Dramas: Kim Hyung Joon do I need to say more? Anyways I also read the manga Itazura na Kiss and while listening some songs I was inspired to write this fanfic. Many of you have been asking about my fic "Winter Romance" well I will not upgrade it until someone takes pity on me and beta edit it xD. Besides I'm out of ideas u.u

Sumary: Maybe I pushed you… maybe I was blinded trying to believe that you would love me. Nevertheless the answers were clear as water. I'm sorry if I do not remember you, forgive me if I made your life a torture, but I must ask this…

Did you ever love me?

Notes:

AU, occness, YAOI!

That means KanamexZero and other pairs xD

All characters are human for now. Kaname and Zero have known each other since high school. Kaname is a young and prodigious doctor, while Zerorin hmm well he is a cute and silly uke ^^
Warnings: Yuki appears in this fic as much as I hate her I also need her for the story. She is one of the girls that ruins the happiness of my Zerorin and Kuran (Of course Kuran is guilty as well).

Kuran: Why my fault it was Yuki's fault ¬¬
Yuki: Me? But why? L
Me: Because you're an idiot that ruins all Now get out! * throws her off a cliff* ^^

*¨* Did you ever love me? *¨*

I have to ask you this…

If I don't I might stick with the doubt
your coldness hurt me and I feel I'm just a nuisance for you

Just tell me why…

"Resist! Come on kid don't you dare to die on me" Somehow he was able to hear the voice of his sensei, the lights of the cars blinded his eyes and his mind reeled repeatedly. He did not realize when it happened but the tears began to fall like waterfalls, wetting his soft pale cheeks. As the man who raised him was now holding his frail body with shaking hands and a piece of of his shirt trying to stop the flow of blood.

In the distance, he could hear the sound of an ambulance combined with the traffic sounds "Zero, don't close your eyes kid!" The man who shouted as his icy blue eye showed concern, while a crowd around the place was dialing for the ambulance. The boy was cold yet it wasn't because the winter was coming. It was rather his life was slipping very slowly and painfully. His beautiful lavender eyes showed nothing but loneliness and fear. "Sorry" he whispered while those beautiful amethysts closed.

"C'mon Zero wake up kid!" The man shouted once again while holding the pale and lifeless body

"Zero…"

The ambulance arrived quickly on the scene. Soon the paramedics went down following by a stretcher. The crowd around the scene was still there, trying not to waste a single minute of what was happening, even there was people crying and others recording with their phone cameras.

"Sir please" One of the paramedics touched the man's arm and very slowly he approached at the almost lifeless body of the boy with unique silver hair, taking the boy's arm and lifting the sleeve of his sweatshirt that was covered with blood the man was able to capture a weak pulse. "His pulse is very weak but he's still alive" Yelled the paramedic and then carefully place the boy on the stretcher. "We have no time to waste" cried another of the paramedics.

"Sir?" The paramedic who was able to capture the pulse of the boy approached the man with a patch over his eye. "Are you hurt?" The man with the patch and raven hair shook his head and a little calmer, he stood up with his serious voice said "I'm going with him"

They say that when you're on the verge of death, you can see your life pass as if it were a movie. That's what the boy with beautiful lavender eyes was looking at right now. How his life was going out of hand. One of the paramedics smiled kindly telling him with kind words to resist. Back of the paramedics was his sensei with a threatened look that said: don't you dare to die.

In the same hospital but in the halls a couple of doctors were walking. A brunette with enigmatic wine eyes while the other was a blond with emerald eyes with a smile on his face, while the other kept a serious look. The two doctors had a heart surgery which thankfully was successful. It was the end of his round and both could go to their homes to rest. Suddenly another young blonde man came running at full speed and pass besides them.

"Hanabusa, what's the rush?" The blonde with emerald eyes and gentle smile asked while Kaname raised an eyebrow. They could be doctors and save people's lives however there was no reason to rush at full speed. That was an inappropriate behavior and only to the nurses or paramedics did such spectacle thought the brunette.

"I'm sorry Takuma, Kaname-sama" the young blonde replied as he forcibly breathed "There was an accident and the patient is near to death" said panting and quickly put on his robe.

"I guess it was another car accident" said Kaname as the blonde nodded "Yes, apparently a car ran over the guy. It seems the boy cross the street without seeing the traffic lights and the car hit him" he said as he hurried down the stairs.

"What an idiot" muttered the brunette. He did not know why but suddenly came to his mind the image of a lavender-eyed boy and silver hair. Ignoring these images he descended the stairs followed by Takuma.

"Aidou!" One of the paramedics who had orange hair approached to the blonde "His pulse is very weak and he appears to lost large amount of blood" He kept commenting the state of the boy.

"Okay I get it, now please take him to the ER" said Aidou and with the help of some nurses they took the boy at the emergency room.

Yagari was really upset at the boy. That brat could not be defeated, Zero could not die hell what was going through his mind. That idiot… He sat on the stairs near to the reception of the hospital. His clothes had some traces of blood. Nevertheless it wasn't his all that blood was from his pupil. The sensei continued muttering curses at the boy quietly. Takuma was looking at the floor and noticed a man sitting at the bottom of the stairs with blood on his clothes.

He hurried downstairs "Sir are you…" the black-haired man looked up to meet the worried look of Takuma and for his luck there he was Kaname fucking Kuran.

"Yagari?" Kaname asked. His voice too low but not enough because Yagari could heard him and suddenly the memories of what happened in the morning came as a bucket of cold water.

All the pain I caused… can you forgive me?

Xx—and the flashback starts

"Kaname" His voice could be so sweet, but boy was a disaster when it came to cooking "Welcome" he smiled as those white cheeks were painted with a shade of pink. The brunette just sighed closing his eyes "Clean up this mess" he said dryly as he left his coat in the closet. The day before was deadly and he had not been able to rest. He wanted to eat something and go to bed but now for his damn luck he had to prepare the breakfast "But I just made brea.." He did not care to hear the silly excuses of the boy "I do not care I won't eat this crap"

If Kaname had at least sent a glance at the boy he would notice that lilac eyes watering, yet the tears weren't still threatening to leave. "Okay" whispered the boy, discouraged because the whole morning he had tried to make a decent breakfast for his lover. Damn he even had cut himself when trying to chop the melon and was slightly burned his wrist trying to make toast.

If only he weren't so damn stupid and let down his cocky attitude…

Defeated and sad a sighing Zero closed his beautiful violet eyes as tears began to fall slowly. But that was good right? Because even if the tears were there his worship for the brunette remained. His love for Kaname was so strong, so deep that it hurt.

"I do not understand!" He said in a whisper that Kaname heard but simply ignored him and decided to drink his coffee "It wasn't supposed to be like this" he said while hitting the table with his fist "It did not have to be this way ..." He began to sob.

"How long you going to keep hurting me because I'm tired… I'm tired of being me the only one crying, the only thinking about making this relationship flourish. This is just a game for you" he yelled "Why did you decide to be with me if you do not love me…." Silver tears falling down his cheeks "I'm tired of living this lie!" The silver angel shouted his eyes staring at the brunette, pleading wishing only for a moment to Kaname to come and take him in his arms.

Just love me…

"Everyone says is a lie" the boy continued crying as he throws some of the glasses to the floor. The sound of breaking glass made Kaname stand and approached the angel who was crying incessantly.

"Zero!" Kaname yelled getting Zero's attention for a few minutes, those dark brown eyes softened. Nevertheless it was late because the boy before him was breaking slowly and painfully. Zero began to beat him on his chest "I'm tired of this… tired of me being me the only one who wants things to work" said repeatedly his tears falling like pearls

Slap!

Suddenly the angel felt a hand hit his cheek. Kaname he had slapped him. He had hit him. His beautiful lavender eyes looked surprised as the tears had stopped but new threatened to leave. Kaname had opened wide his eyes with surprise realizing what he had done. Zero stroked the cheek that had been beaten and stared at Kaname with teary eyes. Kaname tried to approach him but Zero stopped him closing his eyes fearing for another blow "I want to forget you! So I will not be a nuisance to you" he cried as he rushed out of the apartment slamming the door behind him.
Kaname came out of his trance and tried to follow Zero but stopped. He did not know why but stopped. He let the boy with beautiful lilacs eyes left with tears on his pretty face and his broken heart.

Kaname sighed and ran his hand through his dark wavy hair. He could still see Zero's lilac eyes full of sadness. Yet that was what he wanted. He did not care for Zero right? After all he was going to be with Yuki, the nuisance was left. Yet his heart was telling him to run after Zero to not let him go.

Don't let me go…

Flashback Ends -xX

"Get out of my sight!" Yagari rise from the stairs and came close to Kaname "Fucking bastard! I knew that you would cause him problems" the older man said with a dry voice full of hatred.

"Sir, please calm down" The emerald-eyed blonde hold Yagari trying to calming down.

"I will not calm down when my pupil is dying in that damn room" he said pointing to the emergency room. One of the nurses came up trying to sedate the man "Sensei!" A soft voice full of concern for the man shouted. Kaname could see Zero running down the patch-eyed man. But he knew that kid was just Ichiru Zero's twin. Takuma ceased his hold on Yagari and concentrated on watching the lavender-eyed boy with silver hair that reached up his shoulders, it pained him to see the look of sadness and concern in such a beautiful being. Ichiru ignored the emerald-eyed blonde and the looks he gave him and his eyes filled with concern focused on the silent figure of Kuran Kaname that bastard, the man who was ruining his brother life.

Kaname sighed and closed his eyes, suddenly the words of Zero reached his mind "How long you going to keep hurting me… because I'm tired of being me the only one crying… the only thinking about making this relationship flourish. This is just a game for you….why did you decide to be with me if you do not love me. I'm tired of living this lie!"

What the hell was thinking Zero, thus leaving the department and running like that damn the stupid boy didn't look at the damn traffic lights. That was something that even a 5 year old could do it very well. Damn Zero… what was going through his mind at that time.

"Oh my god" That was Juri's voice full of worry she came with Haruka his husband and his younger son Shiki. "Where is Zerorin? What Happened?" She asked almost on the verge of tears. "Kaname Kuran what happened?" The woman demanded at his older son.

Kaname sighed he knew he was in serious trouble if Zero, if that fool decided to die. That would destroy his mother's heart because she was very fond to Zero. The woman loved him as his own son.

Ichiru approached Juri with tears in his face which didn't go unnoticed by Takuma. "Oka-san a car ran over Zero" the brother said sadly.

"That idiot" Shiki said and Haruka gave a slight blow on his younger's son head "Shiki behave please this is a serious situation"

"It's not possible! My poor Zero-chan" the woman said with tears in her eyes as she hugged Ichiru.

Meanwhile Haruka sat beside Yagari. They had to tell Kaien Cross but what would Cross say about his adopted son. The man probably would make a scandal and be devastated by the news.

"It's not our fault if Kiryuu-kun does not know how to cross the street" said Shiki as he ate pocky. "Shiki more respect" scolded his mother.

Right there was a paramedic with orange hair. He had been one of those who attended Zero when the boy was on the street almost dead. He slowly made his way to Kaname. Kain Akatsuki was his name. The paramedic was a very observant and intuitive person and although Kaname was also his friend and did not show his emotions, he knew that the brunette was really worried about his silver haired boy.

So he put his hand on his shoulder trying to comfort Kaname "Do not worry Kaname" He said with that masculine voice he possessed. "Kiryuu-kun is going to be ok" he said with a smirk and Kaname just rolled his eyes at his friend words, on the other hand Kain smirked ignoring the glare Kaname was giving. Rather Kain chuckled and whispered in the ear of his friend "Lie to yourself and others but you don't fool me. I know very well that you're really worried about Zero-kun and you would die if something happened to him "He whispered and smirked again

"I know you really love him" Kain said and then made his way to the stairs sitting next to Yagari and Haruka making them company. He pulled out his cellphone and sent a message to Kaname saying "Watch him or else I might steal him :)" Kaname got the message and his face furrowed making Kain laughed knowing that his friend was dumb himself and really loved Kiryuu-kun. He only hoped Kaname dropped his harsh attitude and accept for once that he was in love with that silly yet beautiful lavender-eyed boy.

Kaname decided to get out of there. The simple fact of seeing Ichiru's face reminded him of Zero and right now the last thing he wanted was to think about the silver angel. He walked away from the emergency room and went to the hospital cafeteria. He sat near the window watching the snowfall on the city as he was on the fifth floor.

"Kaname?" A soft and sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts. He looked over his shoulder and found a girl with brown hair and eyes with the same color, it was that girl he loved so much or so he said to himself to do so.

"Yuki" said the name so gently and hugged the petite woman, hiding his face on her neck, inhaling the scent of roses from the girl.

Why if he was hugging the girl he loved his heart screamed that this wasn't right. That this was a mistake as if he was cheating on someone dear to him and again the image of Zero came to his mind. "Zero ..." Kaname sighed.

Yuki smiled and ran his hand through the back of the doctor "Do not worry Kaname-sempai I have faith that Zero will be fine" she said self-confident and smiled.

Kaname sighed once again keeping Zero in his mind. He knew the boy was beautiful Kaname was not going to deny it. Nevertheless all the beauty was overwhelmed by the boy's silly personality. He was a complete idiot and useless person. Yuki on the other hand was very pretty, cute and smart.

However she won't love you as he does.

A voice inside him said and suddenly the very same question invade his mind. What was really Zero for him? Was the boy really a nuisance as he said or…

Kaname did not even want to think about it so just continued hugging Yuki, losing himself in that sweet scent, trying not to think about Zero or listening of what his heart was telling about Zero the one he should be with.

Zero not Yuki.

After a long wait, Dr. Aidou left the operating room and approached both Ichiru and Juri.

"We managed to save him but ..." Silence fill the room just for a brief moment and then he looked at Yagari "He is in coma. His body is okay but apparently he did not want to wake up. I think he want to be asleep" he said as he looked down. Juri approached him and smiled sadly as tears ran down her cheek.

"Sorry" whispered while Kain came hugging him from behind whispering in his ear "Do not worry you did your best" He said and kissed the cheek of his lover.

"Onii-sama" Ichiru whispered. He couldn't help but cry, it was as his twin was giving up as if he did not cared to leave him alone. Sobs started coming out more frequently. For Takuma that image was breaking his soul to see someone so beautiful crying like that.

Even Shiki that always bothered Zero and laughed at his silliness froze at what Aidou said. Haruka approached Juri who was crying and Yagari hit the wall with his fist.

Kaname came along with Yuki all the eyes remained on him. Ichiru approached him and slapped him "Bastard!" He said with more tears running down his face.

What was going on, why they were crying? Dammit Zero…was he dead? How that could not… that was not true everyone was lying… Zero could not have died...

"Mother..." He could not even finish because his mother's eyes said it all. Even Shiki gave him a look and what to say of his father that didn't dared to look at him.

"He is in coma" Aidou spoke looking at the floor and embraced by Kain.

"And he will not ever wake up!" Ichiru said as he ran out of there followed by a worried Takuma.

Kaname just stood there frozen about the news. Not wanting to believe it. He did not want to… and then it hit him, another memory…

Xx- It was notlong agobut those wordsremained on his mind

"Are you sure about this Zero?" Asked a boy with blonde hair and green eyes as he watched his friend a boy of 15 years, with beautiful lilac eyes and silver hair, you could see the beauty was working too much to write the letter without misspelling.

The boys were in the school library. The friend of silver angel looked at him only write and erase on the paper. After a few minutes the silver beauty ended his love letter with a smile on his face and his cheeks flushed completely. "Finished!" He said happily and stood up.

"Now I just need to find him and give him the letter" the boy smiled as his letter had no misspelling.

Sasha sighed and shook his head "You know you're about to do something crazy and stupid" he said with concern in his voice. He was worried.

"No because after the letter Kaname-sempai will know my feelings" smiled the beautiful angel and brought his letter near to his heart.

"Okay, let's give him the letter" commented Sasha as he was walking besides Zero. They went at the senior class building there it was Kaname reading a book.

"Zero!" A boy with brown hair and the same eye color ran up "Where are you going?" asked the boy while breathing heavily.

"To confess his love" replied Sasha as he watched Zero blushing.

"But Zero" The browned haired boy sigh "Wish me luck Kaito!" The silver angel smiled.

He approached at the senior year students all of them went to the cafeteria. Zero stood in front of Kaname, his face could not be more flushed. Kaname looked at him and crossed his arms while Zero took out the letter and stretched to Kaname.

The brunette took the letter for a moment everybody thought he had accepted the love letter but without shamelessly threw the letter on the floor and leave the place listening to some guys made fun of the angel. Kaname didn't turn but the reflection of the window let him see the boy was crying.

Later that day Kaname heard the same guy who tried to give him the letter saying "Do not worry Kaito maybe Kaname-sempai was in hurry and he didn't realize the letter was on the floor " he said with a sad look.

"That bastard" The other boy said and hugged Zero tightly, letting Zero cry.

Xx—

He had been so cruel to Zero at that time, but that was not all, all this time Kaname was very cold and rude to a kid who just loved him.

"Mother please I…" Juri closed her eyes and headed to Aidou "Where is the room I want to see Zero-chan" the woman asked ignoring her son.

"It's room 300" Aidou said where it was and left with Akatsuki.

In that room was a boy, with tubes that allowed him to breathe, machines connected to his heart. Even with those medical devices, the boy looked like an angel, a beautiful angel whose only sin was to love a man.

Juri and Ichiru were the first on enter the room. It broke his twin to see Zero with all these machines connected to his body. Kaname was behind them, but left all suddenly. He couldn't see that, he didn't want to see Zero. He did not dare to enter the room and see the boy was giving up.

The hours pass and both Yagari and Ichiru and remained there, then Juri with Haruka. While in the waiting room were Shiki and Kaname the youngest decided to keep company to his brother.

"Nii-san?" Shiki called "Did you hated Zero that much?" Shiki asked with a sad look. Kaname meanwhile was surprised at the sudden question. He did not hate Zero. But did not know why he was so cold and cruel to him. That was what he earned by treating the boy that way.

The next day everyone went to their respective duties. Shiki has school and Ichiru had to work at the library. Haruka had his business meeting as for Juri let's say she went home just because his husband said that she needed to rest for a while before returning to the hospital again. Nevertheless Kaname remained in the hospital. He decided it was his time to see Zero. After all his family had gone and he could spend some time alone with the boy. He slowly approached the angel's room and opened the door. His dark wine eyes found the image of one boy that seemed so fragile yet so pure and innocent.

He took a chair and sat beside the angel, taking the cold hand into his. He stared at Zero for the first time in two years as he really looked at him. Zero was so fragile so beautiful ... "I´m sorry" was the only thing he could say. He could not say anything more because he did not know what to say. Kaname had never paid attention to what the boy said and had never been interested in the things the boy did. He could say he did not know his husband and right now it would be very hypocritical if he did, if he pretended to care about the angel. So he decided to remain silent just stroking the sleeping angel's face, admiring the beauty that he had never seemed to notice.

Zero was beautiful in all ways. The boy was such an innocent angel and Kaname could say the boy was all his…

But after this accident

Will Zero continue loving him?

"Who are you?" Those eyes lilac opened so suddenly full on confusion and fear. Kaname remained in shock not because the boy had woken up so quickly but for the sudden the question.

Do the words he said yesterday morning come true…

Did Zero forget about him?

"I am Kaname" the doctor said while sighing, his eyes looking for an answer. They wanted Zero not forget him but it was too late. Those lilacs orbs that looked at him yesterday with so much admiration and love were empty. Now they were two strangers. He was just Kaname Kuran. He was just a doctor and the angel lying in that bed was just his patient.

Goodbye…

Someone opened the door all suddenly while Kaname was helping Zero to remove the tube that helped him breathe. The young doctor stared at those lilac eyes and noticed they didn't shine every time Zero saw him, those gems were now dull, but when that person entered the room Kaname realized how the angel's eyes sparkled again.

"Kaito" whispered the angel with so much longing and love as if he had longed to see this damn person. Kaname frowned, if Zero did not remember him, why was the boy remembering the annoying bastard of Kaito.

Because you forced him…

To forget about you…