My main problem with writing has always been my difficulty with cohesive storylines. To that end, I've always been predisposed to writing fight scenes, and I love it when people piss Naruto off and he kicks they're asses into next week. And since I feel evil today, some idiot is going to piss Naruto off. And by the way, a lot of these jutsus were made up by me.

Few people understand life's bad points more than Naruto Uzumaki. He is the jinchuuriki of the most powerful bijuu, the Kyuubi no Yoko. He didn't have any friends more most of his childhood. The village he protected every day by keeping the demon contained, the village he fought to protect as a ninja in its service, treated him like filth. He was never just a child. He was never even an ordinary ninja. To those pricks, Naruto was always a filthy demon spawn undeserving of their love, respect, or protection.

Despite all that nonsensical crap, Naruto never hated them. He just wanted what was rightfully his, what they would never give him. Naruto wanted respect, acknowledgement. That's where his dream of "The Next Hokage!" comes from. Of course, not everyone was horrible to Naruto. His teachers Iruka, Kakashi, and Jiraiya all liked him. Teuchi and Ayame at the ramen stand were always kind to him, and his teammates and classmates, as time went on, generally got along with him.

The thing is, since Naruto didn't have anyone for a good deal of his life, he clings tightly to those he has now. His friends are his family, and, to him, every single "precious person" is more than worth risking his own life to save. So this is an example of why you do not, ever, ever, fuck with Naruto's precious people.

Because if you do, you are dead. You beat Naruto and he'll get straight back up. You hit him util anyone else would be bloodied and broken and he'll put on a cocky grin and ask "That all you got?" See, you can't stop him because he doesn't give and he doesn't quit and he never breaks a promise. He will just come back until he's pounded your face into the dirt and then he'll wait for you to rise so he can do it again.

Team Kakashi was always somewhat unstable. They started out with a loser, a fangirl, and a broody avenger who belittled his teammates. The loser became stronger, practically by himself and almost unbeknownst to his team, the fangirl took the initiative after some self-denial and started training under the finest medic-nin on the planet, and the broody avenger turned traitor and nearly killed the loser, his best friend; Naruto Uzumaki.

The former loser and the former fangirl worked themselves almost to death to transcend their respective limits and bring home the only one who hadn't changed; the broody avenger, Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto had three main goals in his life: Bring home Sasuke and save his soul from being consumed with hate, become the greatest Hokage and be acknowledged and respected, and win the heart of the former fangirl: Sakura Haruno.

When Team Kakashi had been wittled down to only two members because the avenger was busy being a traitorous jackass and their sensei had been hospitalized, Naruto and Sakura were joined by the token creepy effeminate guy-Sai-and the creepy undercover guy-Yamato aka Tenzo.

They started going out on missions again, and life became somewhat normal, but normal for Konoha's knucklehead ninja and beautiful cherry blossom means something completely different than what it would mean to you or me, so no one should be surprised when a mission to bring home their beloved friend goes wrong.

*dattebayo*

Today finds the newly reformed Team Kakashi racing through Rice Country to crash an arranged meeting between a spy and Sasori of the Red Sands, who had been killed by Sakura and the Late Elder Chiyo of Suna on the Team's last mission.

They reached the bridge in silence, stopping to recover at the side opposite of the spy's expected arrival. Naruto, Sakura, and Yamato reached into their packs for a quick drink. For an unknown reason, Sai did not. Naruto turned to Team Kakashi's newest member and frowned. "It's not a good idea to not drink. You'll get dehydrated, and even if I don't like you, the Team'll suffer if we aren't all on top form."

Sai smiled what was obviously a fake smile. "I wouldn't be worried about me being on top form. Perhaps you should be drinking a little extra." The fake smile got even wider and even faker. "After all, I'm not a pussy."

The whiskered blond turned scarlet at the last comment and grabbed Sai by the front of his shirt. "You wanna run that shit by me again, you pale creep?" He growled, practically feral. "I thought we had some kinda understanding back at the damn hot springs, but if you really want your head to roll, go ahead." Naruto leaned in close then, so Sai could see his slit pupils and larger-than average canines. "I dare you." He growled. "Keep talking." Sai just kept a smiling expression and gently detached himself from the raging demon container, backing off a couple steps. Sakura, for her part, kept a straight face throughout Naruto's uncharacteristic outburst. After all, she had no reason to like Sai.

Yamato stood up after a quick swig from his water bottle. He sighed and looked up at the two teenagers. "Are you guys done?" He asked. "Because I'm not above controlling you with force if I run out of other options." The captain's eyes were almost bugging out of his head, and Naruto found himself wishing for something to put between this weird guy and his own face. Sai nodded curtly, and after getting over the freaky expression on Yamato's face, Naruto did the same.

"Okay" he said. "Here's the plan: You guys'll wait here. I'll meet with the spy and signal you if the need arises. But first, I need to get into character." The former anbu slapped his hands together in the snake seal and intoned "Mokuton". Wood and chakra rose around him and formed into the hunched shape of Hiroko, Sasori's preferred walkaround puppet. The disguised shinobi turned to Sakura. "I'm going to run through different tones of voice. Let me know when I have it right and I'll stick with that when talking to the spy." The rosette nodded. Yamato ran through several voices; high and low, clear and hoarse, before, with Sakura's instruction settling on a deep, gravelly voice very much like that of Sasori when in the puppet.

With that matter settled, Yamato explained how they would be positioned. He would wait, in clear view, at their end of the bridge, to meet the spy on the bridge when he arrived. Sai, Naruto, and Sakura would wait behind a mound of dirt and rocks on the same side, ready to intervene and aid the captain, or restrain the spy.

They didn't have to wait long. Within less than a half hour of waiting, the slim figure of Kabuto Yakushi emerged from the path on the opposite end of the bridge. The traitorous medic started conversing with the former anbu, but then without warning darted in and lashed out with his signature move, the chakra scalpel, breaking Yamato's disguise and grazing his upper right arm. The captain immediately flicked his right index and middle fingers, signaling the rest of the team. The genin, chunin, and anbu immediately formed up in front of their captain. Naruto already had grown claws and fangs, and his eyes were now slitted with blood-red irises replacing cerulean.

The feral genin growled savagely. "Well, call the rest of the people I'm sure you brought, you traitor." He taunted.

Kabuto smiled. "Naruto-kun, please. I do not need any assistance to defeat two anbu, a female medic, and a rank genin such as you. Orochimaru-sama permitted me to take this most important assignment alone. We learned of Sasori's demise immediately, and we have been tracking your group since you departed Konoha."

Naruto just ground his teeth. "You're alone, huh? Okay, then, you traitorous fuck," Sakura stepped in then and at the same time, they both asked "WHERE IS SASUKE?"

Yamato and Sai stayed silent. However, Sai had drawn his scroll and brush and had already laid out several drawings; ready to kill when he formed a half-ram seal. Yamato had been channeling chakra into the bridge, charging its materials for a jutsu to hold Kabuto.

Without warning, the sadistic Oto shinobi reformed his chakra scalpel, both hands for good measure, and charged. Naruto quickly drew his two bowie combat knives from their sheaths on his lower back, and met the charge, screaming like a man possessed. Kabuto swung his hands down in an effort to lop of the teen's arms, but was surprised to see both of his strikes intercepted by red chakra blades emanating from the combat knives. The sadist smiled, well, like a sadist. "Wind nature. And chakra knives. Much like Asuma-san's technique." Kabuto's tirade, however, was cut short as Naruto braced his feet and snapped his muscles taut, pushing back Kabuto and ending the blade lock.

At that moment, Yamato formed a snake seal and slammed his foot on the ground, intoning "Mokuton." The wood on the bridge rose and wrapped around Kabuto's ankles. He jumped into the air with impressive speed, escaping the entrapment, only to be met by and enraged Sakura, her fist brought back for a punch. With a yell of "SHANAROOOO!" the rosette landed a monstrous haymaker to Kabuto's gut, sending him hurtling towards the end of the bridge.

Kabuto landed hard, breaking several ribs and a shoulder, not counting the rib breaks and internal damage he had already received from the punch itself. As his body struggled to repair the otherwise fatal damage, he heard "Ninpou: Super beasts imitation picture." The medic looked up to see several ink lions surrounding him, some with fangs and claws mere inches from his face. There was Sai behind them, and scroll in one hand and his double-sided tanto in the other.

The anbu suddenly looked serious. "I suggest you surrender, or this may become painful for you." He said.

Kabuto just gave a weak nod, one thought running through his head as Yamato raised a wooden cage above his head. Why did I try to take all four of them at once?

*dattebayo*

"Orochimaru-sama!"

"Yes, how is Kabuto?"

"I regret to say he failed and has been captured, my lord. Have I permission to dispatch cleanup, or shall you wish to attend to it personally?"

"Dispatch cleanup, but I shall go as well; there is no need to dispatch my bodyguards."

"Yes my lord. I wish you good luck."

"Luck does not exist. And if it did, I do not recall ever needing it. Now get out of my sight."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." The man quickly bowed and ducked out of the room, shutting the door on his way out. The snake sannin, former akatsuki member, and S-ranked criminal sighed happily. "At last, Naruto-kun, you have come to visit me." He then rose. However, it was not the face of a pale, black haired man in his 50s, but the face of Sasuke Uchiha.