Chapter 4: Let the Testing Begin!

The four new test subjects fell down the white vertical hallways. Two of them were screaming, with fear for their lives. One of them was squealing with glee in her fun. The other one was asleep.

Suddenly, three of them hit the ground. Twilight Sparkle had her eyes shut, expecting to never open them again. She felt the impact with the ground, but it was soft. "Huh?" she asked herself. Her eyes peeped open, afraid to see her mangled body. Instead, she saw that she was surrounded by pillows. Another impact was heard as the sleeping pegasus hit her pile of pillows.

"Falling simulation complete. In the following tests, you will be falling toward the ground at terminal velocity, so getting used to that falling feeling is strongly recommended."

As the voice continued its lecture, a circular hatch opened in the floor about where the sea of pillows ended. It raised a pedestal from the ground to present four boots fitted for ponies. In Spike's room, these were replaced by two boots. "However, due to a lack of pillows and a need to clear floors, your landing will more than likely be...well...less soft. So these long-fall boots will be necessary to absorb the shock of any fall. Excuse me for just a second," she said as a needle was stuck into the sleeping pegasus.

"Yah!" Rainbow Dash screamed as GLaDOS' adrenalin rushed throught her veins.

"Sorry. Someone was falling asleep during the important instruction. We'll have to be sure that doesn't happen again." She spoke like a strict teacher nagging a student that was sleeping in her class. Rainbow Dash didn't answer GLaDOS, but left her brimming anger inside of her. "So, where was I? Oh yes. Please put on the long fall boots so testing can begin. While you are equipping them, I'll move you all to your individual test chambers."

Before the four pillow-filled chambers went apart from each other, Rainbow Dash yelled to warn the others. "Don't listen to her!"

Spike's chamber lurched forward, causing the baby dragon to fall on his back, onto a stray pillow. He had heard his friend's warning to not listen to her. Spike agreed that the voice isn't to be trusted, but he knew he could handle her. He read the book.

"Please equip the Aperture Science Long Fall Boots," GLaDOS droned more robotically as usual.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm putting them on." The baby dragon had tiny feet, so he was almost afraid the boots would fall out if he tried to walk in them. To his surprise, the boots slipped on and hugged his feet snugly.

"Thank you for equipping the Long Fall Boots. You are now receiving the Dual Portal Device. This device will allow you to create portals. There is a blue portal and an orange portal. If you go into the blue portal, then-"

"You come out the orange portal. If you go into the orange one, you come out the blue. Yeah, I got it," Spike interrupted. He was ready to get her tests over with.

"I'm impressed. How do you know about the dual portal device?"

Spike placed a blue portal in the wall in front of him and another on the wall next to him. "Whoa! That is cool!" As he walked through them, he answered GLaDOS' question. "Anyway, I read all about you in a book I found in Twilight's library. Twilight said the guys who wrote it were insane, but looks like she was wrong, since you ARE GLaDOS!

"Yes she was. Although I must say that I am honored those fatigued workers would write a book about me for the people living in the world they created. Now, on to testing." With that, the floor dropped from under the dragon once again.

The room was a simple one. It featured a cube and a button. The button was on a raised platform about fifty feet away. The box had a cube dispenser hanging directly above. It was a simple enough objective. The box goes onto the button to open the door to the next room. Way too easy for Spike, but then again, you have to start easy for the learning curve.

Spike approached the cube so that he could get just the right shot. It would stink if he ha to go all the way up to that elevated platform to fix such a petty little thing. Then again, he could just use portals to have gotten to the platform just as quickly. By the time he thought of it, he was already at the cube.

He started with a portal over where the button was. As the dragon turned toward the box, he felt a tickle in his nose. He knew what was about to happen, but the sneeze took him by surprise. He sneezed a fountain of green fire right on the cube. When Spike opened his eyes, he saw that the cube was gone. His fiery breath vaporized it.

"Whoops...heh...sorry."

The voice wasn't even phased. "Oh, don't worry. We have millions of the things." As if on cue, another cube fell from the dispenser above him. He quickly stepped back to avoid it. "Continue testing."

"Well, the data, assuming that you survived the fall proves that the Aperture Science Pony-Fitted Long Fall Boots are a success. Also, your previous showing of telekinesis has proven that, despite your lack of thumbs, you can operate the Dual Portal Device. Well done."

Twilight Sparkle looked at the test chamber ahead of her. The first thing that caught her eye was a bright red line flying across the room. She recognized it as a laser. The unicorn remembered making a few. Next, she noticed a glass cube. Looking through the cube distorted the world. The room itself was fairly simple. It was a normal room with a moat of a murky brown acid in the middle. The laser and cube rested on the opposite side of the moat. Twilight knew the acid would hurt a bit.

"Excuse me, GLaDOS. I am a lover of science, much like you, but I must ask. If you're testing to find a utopia, what's the point of these tests?"

"It's mainly to test your mental and physical abilities. If you finally create a utopia, but it's full of stupid, lazy, fat things, then what's great about that?"

Twilight didn't agree, but she held back from arguing for two reasons. The voice held all the cards and Twilight had to think of how to do this.

"So...how does this work?" the unicorn asked.

"Across from you is the Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam and the Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam Redirection Cube. Behind you is the Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam Receptor."

She looked at the door behind her. She assumed it was the exit. In a sarcastic tone, the unicorn said. "Let me guess. The receptor opens the Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam Door?"

GLaDOS didn't pick up on her sarcasm. "No. We just call that a door."

Twilight Sparkle looked across. It was more than obvious that she had to get over there and use the cube to direct the laser to the black glowing circle behind her, which was probably the receptor. The thought of crossing the moat of acid was unappealing, to say the least. And the idea of a gun shooting portals to transport things seemed very sketchy. How did she know it was safe to go through these portals?

She found a simple solution to her nagging dilemma. The unicorn's horn was surrounded by a purple aura. The box across the moat also glowed purple. Twilight Sparkle made short work of the puzzle by moving the box in line with the laser, redirecting the beam to the receptor. The door flew open behind her.

As the smart pony trotted out of her first test chamber, the voice spoke in an annoyed tone. "Hey! Isn't that cheating? You were supposed to use the portal gun!"

Twilight wore a smug grin. "You said this was a test of my mental capabilities. I found another solution. Your records can show I'm resourceful and creative."

There was a pause as the elevator was lowered to the unicorn. "Very well. Please continue into the elevator."

The unicorn entered the elevator, still carrying her unused portal gun with her magic. As the doors shut behind her, the unicorn asked, "So, what test is next?"

GLaDOS answered by completely shutting down the elevator. Twilight Sparkle started to panic as the robotic voice said, "The Improvised Resourcefulness and Creativity Test. Good luck!"

GLaDOS felt like an idiot. It was as if some of Wheatley rubbed off on her mainframe. "Test Subject 367-4-12-3, I'm very s-"

"Oo! That's a lot of numbers! Is that my number?" the pink pony interrupted.

"Yes. That is your number."

"Awww. I wanted a 5 in my number," the robot heard through a camera microphone. GLaDOS took a second to look at the little pony through the camera. Her mane was poofy as if she were made of cotton. The way she gleefully hopped around annoyed GLaDOS almost as much as her constant speaking.

"I apologize for your problem, but the numbers are chosen so that it can stay organized for easy locating. If I tampered with your number-"

"!"

GLaDOS knew how this would go. The little bratty pony would keep doing this until she got what she wanted. The computer gave in. It didn't matter too much. "Fine. You are now Test Subject 367-4-12-3-5."

"Yippee!" the pestering pony squealed with glee.

"As I was saying, I'm very sorry, but it would appear that the Aperture Science Dual Portable Device is incompatible with your hooves." GLaDOS began to move a hastily and quickly built test chamber next to the pink mess. "However, I have modified a test chamber for you. It can be solved without the device." The test chamber stopped as she opened the door to the improvised test chamber.

"Alright! Let's do it to it!" the prancing pink pony said while hopping into the chamber.

If GLaDOS could reflect emotion, she would have been chuckling under her breath. The robot had made the test chamber nearly impossible without a portal device, but she managed to make the chamber look possible. It was a strategy GLaDOS had developed from overconfident test subjects. Once a man thinks he's bigger than Aperture Science, he's only fooling himself and needs to be put into his place.

GLaDOS had it all planned out. She used the same plan as when she faced an audacious blue shirted guy with a hat and a broken headset. She'd first wait a little while until struggle was obvious, then GLaDOS would say something along the lines of "Maybe this chamber is too difficult for you." Then they would always insist upon continuing without any help. They would always continue to fail, which led to her repeated insults. Why did she do this to the pony, though? Because Pinkie Pie kept considering the test as a game, and as fun as science is meant to be, testing is serious business, and this horse wasn't taking it seriously.

She would've had the pleasure of watching her enthusiastic test subject lose her mind, but the AI was in such a rush to build the chamber that she forgot to put in cameras. It would've just been an average mistake. For a human. First forgetting the portal gun, now she forgot cameras, too. What was wrong with her? Perhaps some sort of malfunction?

Her worries escalated when she heard the familiar voice come from a microphone placed at the end of the chamber. "That was fun! Can I do it again?"

GLaDOS looked at the camera linked to the microphone, and there was the hyper pony, bouncing up and down outside the exit of the impossible test chamber. GLaDOS usually was never speechless, since it was a human reaction, but seeing the pony left her without a word. The only sound between them was the sound of Pinkie Pie's bouncing.

The robot ended their brief silence. "Wait here," she commanded simply.

"Okie dokie loki!"

GLaDOS left Pinkie Pie to hum to herself in the room while the testing bot searched her mainframe for any remnants of Caroline.

"You think you can hold me forever?" the pegasus screamed as she rammed the walls for the fifty-ninth time.

The voice responded flatly, "Well, if you do the math, then the walls will eventually weaken. If you attack the walls with the same force in the exact same spot once every five seconds without resting, then you'll be able to break out of the room in 244 years, 174 days, 5 hours, 24 minutes, and 35 seconds. So no. I can not hold you forever. But I think it would be a more productive use of all of our time if you follow my instruction." She neglected to tell the pegasus that using portals to build momentum would lessen the time significantly. Instead, she allowed Rainbow Dash to leave the portal gun on the floor to be ignored.

Rainbow Dash ran her body into the wall again. "Well, what if I don't wanna be a part of your stupid tests?"

"Then you don't have to."

"Too bad, I-" She stopped right before giving the wall another tackle. "Wait. I don't?"

"No. There are other options that will help advance science."

Rainbow Dash thought to herself for a moment. "Will any of my choices get me out of this stupid test chamber?"

"Yes."

"Then sign me up." It was going to be easy. She would just bolt out of GLaDOS' sight as soon as she got the chance.

"Okay then, here is your objective. A majority of the groups have already arrived. They have been slowed down to normal time using the Nervous Decelerant and I'm questioning a large group of them right now, in fact. However, some of them still have yet to arrive. Your job is to check up on those groups and report back to me in as much detail as possible. Any questions?"

"Nope! Let's go."

The robot's tone was sweeter. "Good. I feel like we're making progress already. But, before you go, can you do me a favor?"

Rainbow Dash groaned. She was sick of helping out this dumb voice. She wanted to escape. "Fine."

GLaDOS moved a newly-built test chamber next to the speeding pegasus' room. "I know I said no test chambers," GLaDOS opened the door of the chamber, "but is this chamber impossible without your wings?"

Rainbow Dash trotted into the chamber and immediately began to search for a solution. For a full half hour, GLaDOS watched the pegasus investigate the room through the newly added security cameras.

After looking at every nook and cranny accessible to a wingless pony, Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "Hey GLaDOS! It's impossible without wings! Can I get going with that job now?"

The robotic voice was silenced. After a couple seconds, the AI opened the door behind Rainbow Dash. As Rainbow Dash left, she heard GLaDOS say to herself, "How?"

Princess Luna looked at the ground to see the Aperture Science Weighted Cube, and the very sight made her panic. Her sister was looking down on her with shame, but was as panicked as Luna was on the inside.

Luna stammered. "I-I thought the plan would work." She was shaking in fear of what would eventually happen.

Celestia turned away from her sister at her beloved land of Equestria out her window in Canterlot. "Don't we still have time?"

Luna nodded. "But probably not too long. Who knows, maybe they came across a warehouse?"

Celestia didn't look away from the window. "I haven't heard a word from Twilight Sparkle, but we get this cube? She's still alive, and she's testing them." As she stared out her window, she looked at Ponyville, functioning normally without four of its residents, all because of her. "So now what do we do?"

Luna responded immediately since she put some quick thought into it. "Sending an army would be near idiotic, so we just hope that the Pony-rus works."

"Didn't you just say it failed?" Celestia asked alarmingly, as she averted her view from the window to make eye contact with her sister.

"They need to be near her mainframe for it to work. So all it means is that they haven't reached the mainframe yet."

The sun princess thought for a moment. It was hard to imagine her student going straight for the center of the facility, but maybe her friends could make it in. She turned back to the window. "So all we can do is hope?"

"All we can do is hope."