Sam shook his head at Al. He picked up he little ball with a smirk. He couldn't have possibly come here to help Frankie's Nonna win at Church Bingo... But, he picked up the little ball.

"B-19." he said.

"Bingo! I have bingo!" Nonna said, hopping up excitedly.

Al, in his silly fur hat, pointed to him with his ever-present cigar. "Bingo." he said, and Sam leaped out of the Mafia Don. He was disoriented when he woke back up, but he realized he was naked and in a bed... and in the midst of an orgasm.

"Ohhhh... ohhh boy..." he yelled out.

Suddenly, a curly head of hair belonging to a good-looking teenage boy popped up from beneath the covers. Sam skittered back, hitting the wall.

"Jacks?" Hyde frowned up at him. "Jackie, doll, what's wrong?"

"Ohhh... nothing, nothing..." Sam said, clearly freaked out.

Hyde looked concerned, gently pulling him down and into his arms. Sam squirmed, uncomfortable, until he could see in the small mirror on the wall their reflections.

"Oh, I'm... a girl..."

"I'd say woman," Hyde smirked, amused, and kissed the top of Sam's head. "My woman."

"Right..." Sam said uncomfortably, holding the blankets around himself.

"Jackie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing... I just... Cramp?"

"Ohhh... girl time stuff. Right. Okay." Hyde said, wrinkling his nose. "That makes sense." he said with a nod. "I'll give you some privacy then." he said and kissed the side of Sam's head before leaving the room.

Al walked in from the imaging chamber after Hyde walked out, and Sam was standing before the mirror, looking at Jackie's naked body.

"Wow-wow-wow..." Al said in a teasing purr.

Sam yanked the blanket around himself. "Will you cut that out?" he huffed.

Al smirked.

"I'm traumatized!"

"Well, you should have an easy job."

"Oh?" Sam asked, fidgeting.

"Yeah, keep Jackie- that's you, Jackie Burkehart- and Steven Hyde, her boyfriend, from breaking up."

"They seem so happy, why would they break up?"

"Sammy, I had four wives. It happens. You're in a good year, though... this is the year my son was born."

Sam arched an eyebrow. "You have a son?"

"You forget too much- yeah, Cole, he's 12, and currently a smartass who keeps swearing at my new ladyfriend in Italian."

Sam smirked; yes, that sounded like it would be Al's kid.

"Which wife was that with?"

"Number four- well, technically number four was married to five other guys under five under aliases before we even met... but that's a story for another time." Al said, looking at the remote. "Anyway, just don't let them break up."

"Right..."

Sam made Al turn around when he pulled on Jackie's lacy underpants and reached for her skirt. He saw the tiny little demi-bra on the bed, but he wasn't going to wear a bra. He couldn't even begin to fathom putting the damn contraption on. He started to step into the skirt when the door swooped open.

"Ooops! Sorry!" a loud voice yelled, and Sam looked up to see a strange teenage boy, gangly but handsome.

Sam pulled the skirt around his unmentionable parts and glared at the intruder.

"Will you get out of here!" he hollered at the top of his lungs.

"That dirty dog..." Al muttered. "He's not even doin' it right..."

Sam rolled his eyes, but then a hand grabbed the boy by the neck, yanking him roughly out of the room, and the door slammed shut behind him.

"Ah, Sammy, you'd best get dressed now." Al advised.

Sam quickly shoved himself into Jackie's skirt and top, and rushed out of the room to see the boy in question holding his eye.

"What? Like I've never seen her naked before?" he muttered, but Steven stomped his feet and the boy made a mad dash for the door.

"Tool." Hyde muttered angrily.

He walked up to Sam, looking him over with such love in his eyes. It was clear to Sam that this Jackie and Hyde were meant to be together- and he wanted to do everything he could to keep them that way... Sam allowed it when Hyde put the arm around his shoulders, and even leaned against him.

"No more alone with him. I don't trust him." Hyde swore darkly.

"Yeah, no problem." Sam said, shaking his head...

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Jackie was pacing, pinching the hairy arms of her new body.

"Wake up, damnit! Wake up!"

Al walked in, amused.

"First you jump in screaming out about God and someone named Steven, and now you're pinching yourself? Deviant, are we?" he teased.

"Oh, you shut up!" Jackie snapped. "I don't know what kind of a magic spell you put on me, but you fix it now!" she demanded.

Al rolled his eyes. "It's not magic, it's science. And I'm trying to help you, sweetheart."

"By taking away my beautiful body with it's perfect skin and curves and making me a hairy jock?"

Al rubbed his ear. "You remind me of my second wife, geez... Look, honey..."

"Oh, don't you 'honey' me, mister- my Steven will come find me and save me!" she declared. "He loves me!"

"Of course he does..." Al soothed. "Come on, sit, relax..."

Grumblingly, Jackie did as asked.

"Now... this is all gonna just be forgotten, I promise?"

Jackie looked at him warily. "I don't believe you..."

"No one ever does, but it's true." Al nodded. "Now... in 1980 you marry Fez-"

Jackie started laughing.

"Is this a bad joke? I'd neveR marry Fez! I don't love Fez! I love Steven!"

Al pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, you're loud... okay, honey, I know that. But... you do it out of spite because Steven won't marry you."

"Okay, yeah, that sounds like me..." Jackie says with a sigh.

"You want me to help you keep that from happening?" Al asked sternly.

Jackie nodded meekly.

"Okay, then you be a good girl and answer any questions I might have, and be patient, okay?"

"Yes, sir..."