Namie was well on time but her heels struck the pavement briskly enough. She heard and even recognized the hurried steps following her well before she even heard the very familiar voice going,

"Namie! Wait up!"

Namie considered ignoring Izaya altogether. She had taken an Izaya related detour into her schedule so she could allow a couple of minutes of banter. Meanwhile Izaya had arrived, having miraculously managed to avoid the many passerby milling about.

"What is it now, Izaya? You know I'm in a hurry."

Izaya was making a show of catching his breath. Namie knew very well that Izaya could run for hours on end without tiring. But he managed to look very endearing at it.

"Namie, I am here on your behalf! It is very out of character but it seems you forgot your passport. Worry not, I got it for you. There's no need to be indebted for life but if you would be as kind as to let me go with you, I'd consider us even and rejoice greatly!"

This speech was delivered with bravado at first but with blushing uncertainty as it dragged on into even stranger territory. Izaya handed Namie what proved, indeed, to be her passport.

"You know, Izaya, I'm not even sure where to begin. You do realize I'm going on a week long work related trip to Chiba, right?"

"Of course! Distant and wild lands! That's another reason why you should take me with you, for protection!"

Namie smirked so hard it turned into a laugh.

"How adorable. Orihara, Chiba is in Japan. In fact, it's a neighboring prefecture. But more to the point…how did you get my passport?"

Izaya blinked rapidly.

"Er, well- wait, does that mean you can travel between prefectures without a passport? Who knew!"

"No changing the subject now. The passport, Orihara. Explain it to me."

Some flailing followed. Izaya glanced at his phone, made an expression of dismay that was worthy of an Oscar.

"Namie, you need to hurry and catch that train! Please text me when you get to Chiba! I'll curb my deep sadness and eagerly await your return."

"Very well, if that's how you want to play it. But don't expect me to forget about this."

"Bye-bee, Namie!"

Izaya waved frantically and sighed in relief once Namie disappeared into the station. For all his deep, ever so deep love, there were times when Izaya needed to recoup and manage the damage in Namie's absence.

Before boarding the train Namie checked her luggage. Given Izaya's by now infamous bendy ways, she half-expected to find him curled inside the carry on. It came almost as a disappointment to find it empty. For all her railing, blasting Izaya for being, well, Izaya could be highly amusing.

Oh well. She was sure Izaya would soon give her plenty of reasons to put Orihara Izaya properly in his place.

"So you see, Shiki-san, I am all alone in the world!"

Shiki nodded in neutral agreement. As usual he wasn't entirely sure what he was even seeing but he was enjoying it greatly. Izaya was presently lounging in a sprawling pool of sorts right in the middle of his living room. What the contraption was remained a mystery. It was not quite like a Jacuzzi and a bench-like structure attached to the bottom made Shiki think that it wasn't your average pool either.

What it was, Izaya was floating about in it, wearing a skimpy black speedo and an actual swim ring around his waist.

"That is unfortunate but Yagiri-san will return shortly, I'm sure."

Izaya sighed and gestured for Kida to produce a steaming cup of tea. Kida was supposed to serve Shiki one as well and then to extend this hospitality to the therapist who was also present for reasons unknown but for an entire minute he was too engrossed in staring adoringly at Izaya.

"How am I expected to survive! Ah, this sucks...still, with Namie away I got to install this rig!"

Izaya beamed from his swim ring. It was silly and so true to Izaya.

"About that, what exactly it is?"

"I thought you'd never ask, Shiki-san! Oy, Kida-tea. Don't just stand there staring, what's wrong with you? Ah yes, this is a birthing pool. Isn't it cool?"

"Very much so."

"I just had to get one! But I don't think Namie would approve."

Kida looked about ready to jump into the water with Izaya. So much so that Shiki decided to taut him a bit. Not that Shiki would terribly mind joining Izaya in the water either but still.

"It's more spacious that I imagined. It can easily fit two people."

Shiki had given absolutely no thought to the size of birthing pools, in fact, up to this point in his life he had been unaware that such a thing even existed.

"I got the largest model they had. But where are my manners, do try the pool, Shiki-san!"

Shiki cast Kida a smug look that cut to the bone. He was very much about to take Izaya on his offer but Izaya saw fit to gesture to Kida again, his body elongating smoothly in one fluid motion that brought into relief the discreet but well modeled muscles under the soft skin. The droplets of water trailing down the collarbone were quite a sight on top of everything else. Not even the swim ring could disguise the sheer sexiness.

All things considered it might not be a good idea to get much closer than this, let alone in the water with Izaya. There might very well be a limit to Izaya's obtuse ways and Shiki was loath to find out.

"I'll skip, thanks."

"Are you sure? Take a seat, at least!"

Shiki was thinking of a way of politely turning this down as he very much enjoyed the vantage point when Kida interrupted the exchange.

"Orihara-san, how about I join you? Just in case you need assistance, I'm sure it's what Yagiri-san would want as she values your personal security greatly."

Shiki had to give it to Kida, it was phrased as if it wasn't a pretext for Kida to get close and personal with an almost naked Izaya.

"Hmm...what do you think, doc?"

"What am I even doing here again?!"

"To assuage my deep loneliness! It's not as if I have actual friends I can count on when I am stranded on the urban jungle to sink or swim on my very own!"

A light bulb went on in Kida's mind.

"Best swim, most definitely. As the swimming expert I should be helping with the floating, yes. Just in case some accident is to happen."

Izaya tilted his head as if considering the proposal. Kida nearly regretted it. The idea was to cash in, for once, in Izaya's random scenarios.

"Okay! After all, I can't drown before I am a married man! Oh, was almost forgetting! Doc, wheel in the White Board."

"The what…?"

Izaya splashed around happily and Kida had to be the one to explain the whereabouts of the White Board. Still unsure of the point of it but already sure it would test his sanity, the therapist did as told. In an adjacent room he found a massive white board completely covered with Namie's very beautiful but highly precise calligraphy.

"There it is, the White Board! Namie left me a list of rules to follow and here they are."

Shiki ran his eyes over the many, many items. Talk about micromanaging. He found himself reading them out loud.

"'Rules: DO NOT Join or start a religious sect/political party; DO NOT pick up or in any way 'acquire' babies, toddlers, fetuses or the like; DO NOT troll the police and/or authorities; DO NOT burn down Tokyo, parts of Tokyo, other localities; DO NOT make yourself sick from binging on sushi as I will not nurse you when I return...' Very comprehensive rules, I must say."

The list went on and on. Shiki had the distinct impression that the actual reason behind these rules was to make sure Izaya broke them and thus gave Namie an excuse for punishing him.

Izaya sighed.

"So true! And if you read the final one, 'DO NOT Use a loophole in the wording of any of the above as an excuse.' It gives me no leeway at all!"

In one of Izaya's sudden bouts of never long but always absurdly intense melancholy, he slumped onto himself, lost purchase and nearly went underwater which was quite a feat in such shallow water. Kida, for all his clowning, was paying close attention and right away helped him sit up.

"Breathe, Orihara-san!"

"Gah..."

Shiki had read a few other of the items in the never-ending list and he now brought it to the attention of the others.

"'DO NOT get yourself drowned, avoid the river, pools and be careful when bathing.'"

This got Izaya's attention right away.

"I guess the birthing pool has got to go!"

So much for that.

Izaya yawned as he tossed the gauzy kimono-like robe away from his lithe body and poured himself onto the bed. Kida glanced at Izaya's reclining shape with what he felt was not overt interest.

"See you tomorrow, Orihara-san."

Izaya rolled until he was on his belly staring intently at Kida.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Er, home? It's already late...unless you have work for me?"

"Work? What is this crazy talk, Kida-stay! Surely you are not about to walk out on me and leave me to sleep on my own in this deserted apartment?"

Izaya sounded genuinely shocked at this thought. Kida could barely believe what he was hearing.

"But don't you usually sleep alone as it is?"

As soon as he spoke Kida feared he had just made a blunder by reminding Izaya of the terribly loneliness and all that. Fortunately Izaya had other things in mind.

"Sure but it is entirely different when Namie is around. I can call on her in case of an emergence."

Kida nearly asked just how Izaya had managed to survive before even meeting Namie. But he knew better.

"So you want me to stay overnight…?"

"Obviously. Now hurry up, will you? I need my sleepy time tea."

"Is that green tea?"

"Why must I explain everything to you? Of course it is."

There was no point in telling Izaya that green tea did much to keep people awake but then again with Izaya it probably had no effect by now. Assuming it ever did. Kida was more concerned about how to handle this sudden development. So much so that he nearly scalded himself while boiling the tea.

He half-expected Izaya to already be sound asleep- it wouldn't be the first time Izaya gave him some order only to make it null and void right away- but instead Izaya was very much awake and humming creepily to himself.

Izaya sipped his tea, slowly, then proceeded to inspect his toes most intently. "One, two, three, four,"

"Er...Orihara-san, what are you doing?"

"Don't interrupt! Isn't it obvious? I am counting my toes."

"Okay...why…?"

"To make sure they are still there in the morning, why else! Make sure you count yours as well. One, two, three, four, five. All toes accounted for! Next foot, one, two, three, four, five. Yay!"

If Izaya managed to have emotional breakdowns over the most minor of issues he also had a creepy way of finding joy in truly random things that would not even occur to anyone else.

"Where am I supposed to sleep again?"

"Here! There's a futon in the closet, unroll it and make sure you watch over me."

"Sure thing..."

Kida did precisely that. He waited in growing anticipation as Izaya went about getting ready for sleep. As it turned out, tea or no tea Izaya had no problems falling asleep right away. Kida gave it a few minutes to make sure Izaya would not suddenly bounce back awake at the very worst possible opportunity and then took off his phone.

Many pictures were taken and not much sleep was had on Kida's part.

Kida eventually did fall asleep. He woke up with a start, unsure of where he even was. As his memory returned he found himself looking for Izaya.

"Orihara-san…? Hello?"

Kida fully expected Izaya to have him basically keep house for him- something that Kida was looking forward to, against himself- but apparently that did not include fixing breakfast. Needless to say Izaya preparing any kind of meal was just not going to happen.

Izaya could very well have gone out to eat but Kida wanted to locate him as soon as possible.

Kida was wandering about the living room, the apartment was so massive that it would take some time finding Izaya, when a shadow crossing the panoramic window caused him to look up.

Lo and behold, Izaya was standing upside down, suspected on cables, on the outside of the window. "Izaya!"

Kida completely forgot all about politeness. Izaya swayed very, spider-like, limbs akimbo.

It took Kida a while to even realize what on Earth was going on. Izaya was, apparently, rigged like a window cleaner. Why was anyone's guess. Kida was not about to wonder any more, he dashed to the rooftop, nearly got floored by the wind, rushed to the rig on which the ropes holding Izaya were attached and after much struggle with the winch managed to pull him up.

"Oh hello, Kida-kun!"

Without a care in the world Izaya climbed on the roof, discarded the ropes and looked most pleased with himself. Kida was still catching his breath and too shocked by the sudden adrenaline rush and even more sudden bout of relief that he entirely missed one of the rare times in which Izaya used the proper honorific.

"Ori- Orihara-san, what are you doing?! You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"Gravity will gets all in the end!"

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!"

Izaya blinked, clearly unused to being shouted at. But he took it in stride.

"I thought to myself I'd gain some manly skills so as to impress Namie! Blue-collar style!"

Kida sighed.

"Don't, ever, do that. You're not 'blue-collar' and you never were! Nor does Yagiri-san even care about that as it is! Don't get killed for nothing!"

"Oh. You do have a point there!"

"Thanks,"

"I got it! I know just the thing to make sure Namie will totally be into me when she come back!"

Sure thing, Orihara-san. Sure thing.