Inspector Gadget: The Case of the Red Hood

Inspector Gadget and all related characters and setting are owned by Cookie Jar Entertainment. DiC remains an in-credit name only.

Chapter Seven: Happy Birthday Mom!

In the basement at her grandma's house, Penny struggled against her captor, a huge hulking MAD agent with a broken nose. Grandma Gadget was tied to a chair with tape on her mouth and could only watch helplessly as the huge, apelike man seized her granddaughter. The ropes that had bound Penny were now only loosely coiled around her body, but Penny was no match against the humongous MAD agent who had picked her up off the ground and had his large catcher's mitt size hand over her mouth.

Just when all seemed lost a basement window was forced open and in leapt a large orange dog with dripping white foam on its muzzle. The dog's body tensed to spring as the ferocious canine growled at the man.

"Yeah!" the huge MAD agent dropped Penny and backed away. "Mad dog!" With that, he turned and ran up the basement stairs.

Meanwhile upstairs, two MAD agents, Lupo and Kane had Inspector Gadget at gunpoint. They kept him covered as they backed up to the cellar door. Behind Gadget was the unconscious form of Woolf, a MAD agent who looked so much like the bionic inspector that he could have been his stunt double.

"So… thought you were smart, huh Gadget?" sneered the short bald and tubby Lupo. Thought you could trick us by pretending to be Woolf is that it?"

"Well, I kind of hoped," Gadget said as he pulled a white wig off his gray fedora.

"Too bad," hissed the slender fair-haired Kane. "How do you want it?"

"Yeah," sniggered Lupo. "How do you want to die, Gadget?"

"How do I want to die?" Gadget asked thoughtfully. "Hm, I'll have to think about it. How about old age?"

"Real funny," Lupo sneered. "That was your last joke. Sorry Gadget but your time just ran out." The two gunmen raised their pistols and took aim…

…right when the door flew open, knocking down Lupo and pinning Kane behind it. The gorilla sized MAD agent burst into the room, his Neanderthal-like features contorted in fear. "Mad dog! Mad dog!"

"Wowzers!" Gadget exclaimed as the linebacker sized agent plowed into him. The bionic Inspector found himself on the floor with large dirty footprints on his chest. "Anybody get the number of that truck?" The only response he got was the cellar door swinging on its hinges to reveal an unconscious Kane sliding down to the floor, leaving a man shaped outline of flaking plaster on the wall behind him.

Downstairs the orange dog licked the whip cream and white frosting off his muzzle to reveal that he was Inspector Gadget's dog Brain. He stood up on his hind legs and helped Penny get free of her ropes.

"Brain! You're a lifesaver!" Penny gushed. "Quick! Go upstairs and help Uncle Gadget while I untie Grandma!"

"Rright!" he nodded in a strange guttural voice. Without hesitation, he dashed upstairs on all fours to see a dazed Lupo reaching for his gun.

"Hey!" Lupo protested when Brain's teeth went around his wrist. "Leggo you stupid mutt! Get off!"

"I'll take that gun," Gadget said as his arm telescoped out to seize the pistol. "You're in a lot of trouble fella. You made the mistake of invading the house of an ex-marine's mother! Good work, Brain!"

The orange dog smiled as he sat on the prostate Lupo.

"Now you ugly mug, where are my niece and my mother?" Gadget growled.

"Uncle Gadget, you're all right!" Penny cheered as she and Grandma Gadget emerged from the basement.

"Of course Penny, it takes smarter thugs than these to get the drop on Inspector Gadget!" he smiled as his niece and mother embraced him. "Mom, Penny, I was so worried about you! I can't believe anything like this could happen! No one has ever gone after my family before!"

"What about the time that MAD agents kidnapped me and took my place?" Grandma Gadget asked. "You didn't notice the difference for a week!"

"Er uh… yes, but that was a one-time thing," Gadget stammered.

"What about the time MAD agents blew up my parents' lab," Penny added. "You can't possibly forget that!"

"And then there was the time your sister was shadowed by foreign spies who wanted to steal her invention," his mother added. "You can't forget that, Maxwell."

"Of course not mother," Gadget admitted, "but aside of those times, nobody has ever gone after my family before. Doctor Claw has gone too far this time. One day I swear I'll get him!"

Miles away in a hidden room Doctor Claw growled at the image of Gadget and his family on his computer monitor. "One day Gadget I'll get you! But not today. I'll get you when you're least expecting it. And I won't waste any more resources going after your family. I'll get you! Enjoy life while you can Gadget. I'll get you next time Gadget… Next time…"

Back at Grandma Gadget's house, Chief Quimby and three uniformed police officers entered through the front door. "Gadget! Thank goodness you're safe! We picked up a man down the block screaming about a mad dog. When he told us what house it was in we arrested him. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine chief," Gadget smiled as he indicated the MAD agents lying on the ground. "Here's three more of them while you're at it. We can press charges tomorrow. Today is my mother's birthday and we want to spend it together."

"I understand," Quimby nodded as his officers put the stunned MAD agents in handcuffs. "Did you ever find out what all this was about?"

"That handsome fellow in the raincoat spilled the beans," Gadget nodded to Woolf, who was being hoisted to his feet and being read his rights. "It seems that he wanted to get me out of the way so he could take my place when I attend that awards ceremony and meet the President of the United States. With a little makeup that man could fool anyone who didn't know me that well and get close enough to the President to make his move. It was devilishly clever!"

"My goodness, he looks like your brother!" Quimby exclaimed as he looked at Woolf. "The resemblance is uncanny. No wonder your police sketch looked just like you. Dressed like that, from a distance no one could tell the difference!"

"Exactly Chief," Gadget nodded. "The hard part was getting me out of the way. They set a trap for me at the bowling alley and when that didn't work they lied in wait for me at my mother's house. There's no limit to how low an international evil organization is willing to go. Still, it's quite a pity. If only he used his good looks for niceness instead of evil…"

"Please get him out of here," Penny frowned. "He's been chasing me all day. I can't stand to look at him Chief Quimby, he's evil."

"An ugly character if I ever saw one," Quimby nodded before giving an embarrassed cough. "Sorry about that Gadget."

Gadget frowned and cleared his throat indignantly.

"Hey Uncle Gadget, did I hear you say you used to be a marine?" Penny asked as she tried to change the subject. "I didn't know that. Did you fight any wars?"

"Did I fight any wars?" Gadget repeated pompously. "As a matter of fact, I jumped out of a plane during Operation Desert Storm!"

"Wow!" Penny's eyes widened. "Really? Did you win any medals Uncle Gadget?"

"Not really Penny," Gadget blushed. "To be honest I jumped out of the plane before it left the runway."

Penny started laughing. Pretty soon her Uncle Gadget, Brain, Grandma Gadget and Quimby were laughing too.

Later Inspector Gadget and his family were eating dinner at Bianchi's Restaurant atop Metro Tower, one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. They had a table near the window and could look out at the terrace and the spectacular view of the city from that altitude. Inspector Gadget wore a tuxedo under his raincoat and fedora. Penny and Grandma Gadget wore evening gowns. Brain was allowed in because Grandma Gadget agreed to wear dark glasses and carry a white cane with a red tip.

"I hope today taught you a valuable lesson Penny, and you too Mother," the bionic inspector lectured. Every year thousands of women and children are attacked. Young children and the elderly are especially vulnerable, but every woman should be on her guard. It's time you two learned the basics of self-defense."

"But Uncle Gadget, Grandma's getting up there, and I'm a little girl," Penny pointed out. "It's not like we've got a lot of upper body strength."

"Not to worry Penny," Gadget assured her. "Ninety percent of self-defense is being alert and avoiding violence. Essentially, self-defense is keeping out of trouble, but to do that successfully you have to be aware of all situations and circumstances in which trouble is likely to arise. The most important thing to do is to stay alert!"

Brain couldn't help chuckling hearing Inspector Gadget say 'stay alert'.

"We should make an effort to understand your surroundings," Penny nodded. "Walk or hang out in areas that are open, well lit, and well-traveled. Become familiar with the buildings, parking lots, parks, and other places you walk. Pay particular attention to places where someone could hide — such as stairways and bushes."

"Avoid shortcuts that take you through isolated areas like underpasses, parking garages, public parks, railroad tracks, or building sites," Inspector Gadget said.

"If you're going out at night, travel in a group," Grandma Gadget suggested.

"Make sure your friends and parents know your daily schedule," Inspector Gadget added. "If you go on a date or with friends for an after-game snack, let someone know where you're going and when you expect to return. Believe it or not, you want your loved ones to know where you are at all times."

"When riding on public transportation, sit near the driver and stay awake," Penny suggested. "When riding the subway us girls should try to sit near the other women. Attackers are looking for lone targets."

"A child should always carry a cell phone," Gadget nodded. "It should always be programmed with the phone number of a parent or guardian."

"If you're walking on the sidewalk, walk on the side of the street against the flow of traffic," Penny nodded. "That way you're difficult to follow. If someone in a vehicle bothers you, you should head against traffic so he can't use his car to chase you."

"If someone threatens you in a public place, don't be afraid to yell at him and make some noise," Gadget said. "Remember, you want to cause a scene; your attacker doesn't."

"If you think you're being followed, head to a public place," Penny suggested. "Restaurants and other eateries almost always have people about."

"Speaking of restaurants, there are lots of people here," Gadget looked around. "But I wonder where our waiter is. He must be in the back getting ready with your birthday cake, Mom."

"Please Maxwell, I don't want you to tell them it's my birthday," Grandma Gadget groaned. "I hate the new birthday song they sing."

"Ah come on Mom," Gadget laughed. "This is a special day. It's your birthday!"

"I've had over sixty birthdays," Grandma Gadget sighed. "The thrill is gone."

"Here's something that might give you a thrill," Penny pointed behind them. "Chief Quimby is coming, and it looks like he brought an Egyptian mummy."

Inspector Gadget, Brain, and Grandma Gadget turned to see Chief Quimby pushing a short, fat figure that was completely covered by a body cast. Perched on its head was Corporal Capeman's flying goggles.

"Hello there Gadget, I've got good news," the police chief smiled. "Corporal Capeman survived his wounds. With luck he should make a full recovery."

"Why chief that's wonderful!" Gadget rose from the table. "Congratulations Capman! It'll take more than Doctor Claw's got to finish you!" he grinned while clapping Capeman on the back. "Here's to your full recovery!"

"Even though we've got your lookalike behind bars I can't help but think it might be a good idea for you and Penny to go away for a while," Quimby said as Capeman's wheelchair rolled away. "Until you attend the awards ceremony at the end of the month you're on vacation Gadget. Take your family somewhere nice and lie low until you meet the President."

"Why thank you chief," Gadget smiled as Capeman's wheelchair rattled down a short flight of steps and pushed its way out to the terrace. "It's not even my birthday," he said as Capeman's wheelchair rolled out to the edge. "Well what do you know, this mission was a complete success!" he added as Capeman's wheelchair hit the edge of the terrace and tipped him over the side of the tower. "We managed to foil Doctor Claw's plan and nobody died!"

END