Dad Swap

Part 1

"I'm off on my date Daddy!" Pearl called to her father as she ran to the door. Pearl had a pink dress on, a sunflower in her hair, and tan slippers. Mr. Krabs rushed up between her daughter and the door. Pearl tried to move past her dad but her dad stopped her each time.

"Dad!" Pearl said. "Come on, move it! Fred's waiting for me!"

"Not without an inspection!" Mr. Krabs told his daughter. Pearl groaned.

"Dad!" There was a honk from outside. "Fred's here! I got to go!" Mr. Krabs waved his claw.

"Wait a minute."

"Daddy!"

"Pearl, you had boyfriends that dumped you before. I want to make sure this Fred guy is suitable for you."

"He is…Daddy!" Mr. Krabs looked up and down at his daughter.

"You're clean. No mud or zits. That's good." Pearl was getting impatient.

"Yeah, that's great Dad. Can I go now?"

"Not until I hear the rules." Pearl groaned again. "Pearl!" She sighed.

"Come straight home if he's dangerous or mean," Mr. Krabs raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"Come home no later then 11. Okay, now can I go?"

"That's my girl! Come and give you ol' man a hug and a kiss!" He got ready for his daughter to hug him and puckered his lips for a kiss. The horn honked again.

"Okay, gotta go, bye!" And with that, the whale moved past the crab and went out the door. Mr. Krabs stepped outside to watch as his daughter got in the boat and it zoomed off.

Mr. Krabs then took out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

"Mr. Krabs to SpongeBob, do you read me? Over!" SpongeBob's voice spoke over the speaker.

"SpongeBob to Mr. Krabs. I read you crystal clear, over!"

"Mr. Krabs to SpongeBob, where are you? Over!"

SpongeBob was in the bushes in front of the 'Fancy!' restaurant in Bikini Bottom. Patrick was beside him, drooling.

"Patrick and I are in front of Fancy, over!"

"Perfect, now remember the plan? Over!"

"Sure do! When Pearl and Fred go in, follow them and hide and watch for any suspicious behavior, over!"

"Perfect!"

"Mr. Krabs, are you done with your conversation? Over!"

"Of course I am! Now, wait for Pearl and her boyfriend!"

"Uh Mr. Krabs, you're supposed to say 'over", over!"

"Why?"

"You're supposed to say it every time you finish what you have to say to show that the next speaker can go and have his or her turn, over!"

"What'll happen to me if I don't?" It was Patrick's turn to speak.

"You have to Mr. Krabs otherwise the Walkie-Talkie Police will come after you, over!"

"Patrick, there's no such thing as the 'Walkie-Talkie Police.'" Patrick and SpongeBob gasped.

"Yes there is Mr. Krabs, over!" SpongeBob said.

"You got to believe in the Walkie-Talkie Police, Mr. Krabs," Patrick stated. "If they hear you saying that they don't exist, they'll hunt you down and you'll be arrested, over!"

"I don't believe that rubbish. Look, just wait for Pearl, and put the plan into action."

"But…"

"Look, there's no Walkie-Talkie Police and that's final, now watch my daughter!"

"Yes sir," SpongeBob said. "Over!" SpongeBob put the walkie-talkie away in his pocket.

"Gee Patrick," SpongeBob told his friend. "I hope the Walkie-Talkie Police don't arrest him. That poor, confused, crab."

"Yeah." Patrick agreed.

A boat then stopped into a parking lot. A tan fish then stepped out, opened the other door and helped Pearl out.

"Shhhh!" The sponge whispered to the sea star. "It's Peal and her date, Fred." Patrick looked at where his friend was looking at.

"Hey you two!" He shouted. He was about to stand and wave when SpongeBob shoved him down. He looked at him, not pleased.

"Patrick!" He scolded in a whisper. "You're going to blow our cover!"

"Oh sorry." SpongeBob looked out to make sure Pearl and her date didn't notice them. They hadn't. SpongeBob sighed in relief.

"Phew, that was a close one!" Pearl and Fred went in. "Now come on!" They stepped out of the bushes and followed the two teenagers at a respectable distance.

"Okay, Patrick, "SpongeBob told him as they hid behind a fern inside. "Remember, we're not supposed to be here, so be absolutely quiet."

"Will do SpongeBob!" Patrick said. "I'll be quiet as a…hmmm…quiet as a…" He scratched his head as he pondered about this.

"A church mouse?" SpongeBob suggested quietly. Patrick shook his head.

"No, no, not a church mouse. Something quieter." SpongeBob was about to say something when Patrick snapped his flipper.

"I got it SpongeBob; a church mouse! They're quiet, unless there are 500 of them and they all squeak at once." SpongeBob sighed. Pearl and Fred then sat at a table across from them, aided by a tall brown fish with a mustache and a monocle.

"Okay Patrick!" SpongeBob said. "Shhhhhh!"

"And what will you want to drink this evening?" asked the waiter in his French accent. The two teens looked at the fish, as he got ready with his pen and clipboard. "Hmmm, oui?"

"I'll have an Ice Kelp Cola." Replied Fred. The waiter wrote it down in his notepad and looked at Pearl.

"And what about you, Mademoiselle? " He asked.

"I'll just have water, thank you." The fish stared at her and then walked off.

Pearl and Fred looked at their menus.

Patrick jumped in place. SpongeBob looked at his friend.

"What?" SpongeBob snapped in a whisper.

"I got to go SpongeBob." Patrick said.

"Now? But Patrick…"

"I have to go SpongeBob! I can't hold it in." SpongeBob sighed.

"Okay, but be quick about it."

"Thanks!" Patrick rushed out of hiding into the bathroom. SpongeBob kept on watching.

Ten minutes later, Patrick returned. He sighed in relief. SpongeBob glared at him.

"What took you so long?" The sponge wanted to know. Patrick looked at his friend.

"Sorry," he apologized. "But there was a line, and I had trouble closing the stall door and I had trouble with the toilet paper. But don't worry, now I'm good." SpongeBob noticed Patrick was trailing a roll of toilet paper from his shorts. "So, what did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing much. They got their drinks and ordered their food. They then talked about a dance, you know, dating stuff." Patrick laughed.

"I know what you mean." He then stopped and looked puzzled. "Well, actually, no I don't. What are we talking about?"

A blue fish then came by with a watering can.

"Well," He said. "Time to water the plant." He tilted the can to pour water on it, not noticing SpongeBob and Patrick hiding inside. Patrick screamed as he jumped out of the plant.

"Patrick!" SpongeBob whispered loudly. Patrick glared at the fish.

"Do you mind?" He scolded loudly at the fish. "We are trying to hide from Pearl and her date to spy on them to make sure her date is suitable enough!" Everyone looked. SpongeBob slapped his own face.

"Oh no Patrick." He said to himself shaking his head in embarrassment. "Why, why?"

"Oh no!" Pearl murmured, covering her face with her flippers. "Why dad, why?" Fred looked at her confused.

"You know him?" Fred questioned. Pearl looked at him.

"Unfortunately yes." Pearl replied.

"Don't worry Pearl, we gotcha covered, if this guy tries anything, we're here to back you up!" Patrick grinned stupidly, giving Pearl a thumbs-up. Fred looked angrily at Pearl.

"Pearl!" He shouted at her. "I can't believe you sent spies to watch us, don't you trust me?"

"Fred," Pearl tried. "It's not what you think; I can explain. You see, it's my dad. He sent spies to…"

"Oh, don't bring your dad into this!" Fred snapped. "Your dad doesn't have anything to do with this! Pearl, I can't believe I dated the likes of you. We're through!" Fred started to storm away.

"Fred, I…" Pearl tried to stand up, when the waiter from before walked in with Pearl's chicken noodle soup and chowder. His foot caught on the trailing toilet paper and he tripped, spilling the soup and chowder all over Pearl! Pearl gasped as she stood up, on top of everything else her new dress was ruined! Everyone stared, Fred looked back for a moment, and then he quickened his pace leaving. Patrick was still grinning.

"Don't worry buddy," Patrick said, looking at his friend and winking at him. "I can handle this!" The Sea Star turned around to the customers. He waved at them.

"Nothing to see here folks! Keep on eating, nothing to see!" The customers started to eat, but continued to watch the commotion with Pearl. Patrick rubbed his hands together. "There!" He looked at SpongeBob. "My job here is done."

SpongeBob sadly looked at Pearl. Pearl was devastated, heat in her face as the waiter assisted her unsuccessfully in cleaning her dress off with a napkin.

Patrick and SpongeBob were at Mr. Krab's house. They heard the loud argument between father and daughter.

"Pearl," Mr. Krabs told her. "I'm sorry you had a lousy night. But you know why I did that to you, to protect you. Whoever dumps my daughter is nothing but a jerk! I did what I did because I love you."

"No Dad!" Pearl shouted. "You did what you did because you don't trust me! And don't call Fred a jerk; he's not a jerk, you are!" Mr. Krabs gasped.

"No, no honey, I'm not a jerk. I trust you, it's just that…"

"No you don't! Dad, I'm not a baby anymore! Fred dumped me because of what you did, not what I did."

"I did it to…"

"I know why you did it! Dad, I don't need protection and I don't need you!"

"Pearl, it's almost Father's Day. I…"

"I hate you! I don't care if it's almost Father's Day, you are not and will never be my dad!" Mr. Krabs gasped again. Tears welled up in Pearl's eyes and then she ran off crying.

Pearl ran past SpongeBob and Patrick.

"Pearl," SpongeBob started. "Patrick and I are truly sorry. We didn't mean to turn your night into a wreck. We were just…"

"Just leave me alone!" The two watched as the whale stormed upstairs to her room and slammed the door, the whole house shook and Pearl's sobs could be heard.

In Danville, Vanessa walked out of Johnny's house onto the porch. More Goths teens sauntered out. Johnny walked out and stood next to Vanessa.

"That was an awesome party, Johnny!" A teenager with a purple mohawk said.

"Thanks Adam." Johnny said. "I'm glad you like it." He looked at Vanessa and put an arm around her. "Did you like it, babe?" He asked her.

"You know I did." She answered. "Johnny, you throw great parties."

"Oh I do, do I?"

"Yeah, you do."

" Well, I'm also a great kisser." Vanessa smiled slyly.

"Really? Well, let's just see about that." The two teenagers were about to kiss when suddenly; they heard a honk in the distance. The two teenagers looked at where the honking was coming from.

'Hey look!" Adam said, pointing. "Here comes Vanessa's goofy dad!" The teenagers then laughed as they saw the doctor riding on a little pink bike with colorful streamers attached of the handles. A white basket was on the front of the bike. Vanessa slapped her face and shook her head.

"Why Dad, why?" She and Johnny, hand in hand, went off the porch and went towards Vanessa's dad. Dr. Doofenshmirtz honked the bike horn.

"Dad?" Vanessa questioned. "Is that my bike?"

"Yes." Dr. D answered. "It is."

"But, I thought we sold it years ago."

"Well, I saved it just for you because it was your favorite."

"Dad, I haven't ridden that bike since I was nine."

"Nine and a half!" Vanessa rolled her eyes.

"Whatever! How can you drive me home in it?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz hesitated.

"Uh…you could ride in the basket?" Vanessa looked at him like he was crazy, slapped herself again and sighed as the teens laughed.

"Fine!" She sat in the basket and they drove off. The teenagers laughed and laughed from behind. Vanessa tried to shield herself to hide the embarrassment, but no matter what she tried, laughter still was present.

"Dad, why are we going on a fishing trip?" Vanessa wanted to know when they were in the rental car. They had already checked in at a hotel and put their luggage in their rooms. "And most importantly, why are we in Encino, California? You do know we have a harbor where we can go fishing, right?"

"Because," Doofenshmirtz said, hands on the steering wheel. "It's Father's Day weekend and we're here to see the sights too, not just fish. Fishing trips are a really great bonding activity."

"Yeah, for a son and a father." Dr. Doofenshmirz stopped the car and looked at his daughter.

"Do you want to go to the mall instead?" Vanessa was about to say 'heck, yeah," When she realized what her dad might do at the mall.

"No, a fishing trip is fine."

"Good to know. We're be there in 15 minutes." With that, Dr. Doofenshmirtz stepped on the pedal and they drove on. Vanessa groaned and leaned back in her chair.

Once there, Dr. Doofenshmirtz almost drove over the "Encino Fishing Docks and Beach" sign, making it tilt. On one side was a dock for fishing and the other had a beach on it. Both were crowded with people enjoying themselves.

The doctor got out, and grabbed the fishing gear. He gave a fishing rod to his daughter and put a fishing hat on her head.

"Let's just get this over with." Vanessa said. She and her dad went to the docks where sons and fathers were already fishing.

"See, dad?" Vanessa informed him. "Sons and fathers."

"Relax honey." Dr. Doofenshmirtz told her. "We'll be a good example to everyone. We'll show them that a father and a daughter can fish, not just a father and son."

"But, dad, both of us hate fishing," Vanessa said.

"I know, but it's sort of an expected parent-child activity. And besides, won't it be fun to both hate it, together?" Vanessa sighed and shook her head as her father giddily ran towards the docks, scattering lures and hooks along the beach from his half-open tackle box.

The two found a fishing spot. Vanessa went to get a worm on her fishing rod, but instead of getting his worm, Dr. D went to the edge and started calling.

"If there are any secret agents out there, speak or glub up now!" People looked up and looked at the crazed doctor. "Are any of you fish really secret agents?" People started to laugh. "Hello? Friends of Perry the Platypus; I know you're out there." The laughs grew louder and louder.

"Oh Dad!" Vanessa moaned. She stood up and went next to her father.

"Dad," She started. "There's no secret agents, they're just fish, just ordinary, average, everyday, fish."

"You don't know that, dear." The doctor told her. "These fish could really be spies. They're just protecting their titles and putting on the mindless act."

"Like Perry the Platypus does?"

"Uh…yeah. Look, I know these are secret agents, okay? And, I'm going to prove it!" He turned around, walked to the edge, and looked down below at the water.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Dr. D leaped into the water. Vanessa ran near the edge. "Dad!" Dr. D swam to the surface, waving to his daughter.

"It's okay, Vanessa!" He called to her. "I'm okay! I'm going to wrestle these fish and prove that they're agents!" With that, he swam off, after a skinny grey fish. Vanessa slapped herself.

"Oh Dad!"

"Hey Dad, look!" A little boy shouted. "That pharmacist is fighting a fish!" The people laughed.

Sure enough, there was Dr. Doofenshmirtz wrestling with the fish. The fish shook his tail in the doctor's face and swam away.

"Oh, I'll get you!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz threatened. He swam after the fish. The laugher continued.

"Oh, Dad!" Vanessa said, shaking her head slowly. She walked slowly further up the dock.

"Hey lady!" A boy shouted after her. Vanessa turned to look at him. "Your dad thinks the fish are secret agents! Isn't that crazy?"

"That's not my dad." Vanessa told the boy.

"Oh, well good, because I sure wouldn't want him as my dad." He then returned to laughing. Vanessa sighed.

"Yeah, me too." She agreed to herself. Vanessa sighed, and then she felt someone was watching.

"You can come out Perry the Platypus." She said. She went to the edge and sat down. Perry popped out of his hiding spot, the bait box, shaking worms out of his fur. He was there because he'd crept on just as the plane took off with Phineas, Lawrence and Ferb on it, which he'd conveniently convinced to travel to Encino the same weekend as Dr. D. Also conveniently, their room was right next to his nemesis and his daughter in the same hotel. Vanessa turned to him.

"You saw everything I suspect." Perry nodded. She sighed again and turned back to the lake.

"I don't know, Perry the Platypus," She told him. "My dad treats me like I am still his little girl sometimes. He doesn't seem to get that I'm growing up, that I'm not a baby anymore, you know what I mean?"

Perry gave her a look that seemed to say, 'he's your dad. He embarrasses you because he loves you.' Vanessa stood up and looked mad.

"My dad doesn't get me!" Perry shook his head frantically and gestured her to stop. "I don't care if it's almost Father's Day, I'll go back to my mom's. I don't need my dad and he doesn't need me; I-I hate him!"

Perry sighed. Suddenly, a big fish from below jumped and hit the underside of the pier. Vanessa lost her balance and she bumped into a large anchor that was precariously balanced on the dock, knocking it into the water, her ankle got tangled in the chain and it dragged her down. Perry panicked and tried to grab her hand, but it was too late. She quickly sank out of sight.

The platypus's eyes grew wide, he jumped in and swam down as fast as he could.

Pearl was outside. She paced back and fourth, looking mad and grunting to herself.

"Why doesn't my dad get me? Mom would! Oh, I wish dad were more like her." She snapped her flipper. "I know! I'll run away, that's what I'll do! I'll run to Judy's or Maggie's. I'll ask them if I can stay there and…" Suddenly, an anchor (similar to the anchor-shaped house behind her) thudded into the sand in front of her, she looked up. The whale saw a human teenage girl floating down from above. It was Vanessa. She was struggling for breath. Pearl gasped.

"Oh my gosh!" She cried. "You're drowning! Stay here, I'll be right back!" She ran off. But Vanessa was almost out of air! Her head was clouding up, her lungs burning up. Her eyes then closed.

Pearl came back with an air helmet.

"Here, put this on!" She threw it on Vanessa's head. Pearl panted, out of breath. Vanessa's eyes then opened. She was alive! She looked around at the whale.

"You…you saved my life." She said, coughing and gasping. When she got her breath back, Pearl bowed to her.

"You're welcome." Pearl said. Vanessa smiled.

"What's your name?"

"Pearl. What's yours?"

"Vanessa."

"Well Vanessa, it's nice to meet you."

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too." Vanessa then looked around her.

"I've never been underwater before, and I never talked to a talking whale either, I mean my dad has... But just to insult them,"

"Well I never talked to a human before."

"I must be dreaming." Vanessa closed her eyes then opened them. Pearl waved to her. Vanessa closed and reopened her eyes a few times.

"Nope! You're not dreaming. You really are in an underwater suburban city talking to a talking whale!"

"Well, since I'm talking to you and you are responding, can you get these chains off of me?" She tried to wriggle her foot out of the chains but with no luck.

"Oh sure!" Pearl went to the chain and helped the trapped human out of it.

"Thanks!" Vanessa said.

"Oh sure, no problem!"

There was silence as the two girls sighed. They were both thinking deeply. Pearl looked at Vanessa in question.

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh nothing, just about my dad."

"What about your dad?"

"My dad is very clumsy sometimes. I swear, he is the most embarrassing dad on land." Pearl looked at her.

"I hear you. My dad embarrasses me too. He is the most embarrassing dad in the sea! You wouldn't last ten minutes with my dad."

"You wouldn't last five minutes with mine! You want to switch?" Vanessa looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"How about you have my dad for a day and I'll have yours?"

"Well, it would be fun, but won't our dads miss us and try to find us?" Pearl realized she was right.

"You're right." She said. "It's hopeless." Both girls sighed then Vanessa snapped her fingers. "Hey, I know! I have my dad's portable Brian-switch-inator in my pocket." Pearl looked at her funny. Vanessa noticed this. "Oh, my dad names most of his inventions ending with 'inator'; it's crazy. Anyways, we can swap our brains with it so our dads won't know."

"Perfect; I like it!" Vanessa took out a ray-gun like device from her pocket.

"Here it is. I'll zap you first then myself."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do it!"

With that, Vanessa zapped the whale with the ray gun then turned it so it pointed at her and zapped herself. The girls' brains switched from one to the other. Vanessa was now in Pearl's body and Pearl in Vanessa's.

Pearl (in Vanessa's body) was now gasping for breath.

"How do you breath with these tiny *gasp* lungs?!"

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Vanessa (in Pearl's body) reassured her. Pearl put the Brain-switch-inator in her (Vanessa's) pocket. She looked at her flippers. "I guess I have to get used to these." She then looked at Pearl. "Can we go to your house so I can draw you a map of where we're staying?"

"Yeah, I think that would be best." So both girls went to Pearl's house.

Perry, who had finally managed to swim down, looked left and right. He sighed when he didn't see Vanessa. He swam up to the surface to try to tell Dr. D the tragic news.

The two girls went to Pearl's room. They climbed through Pearl's window so Mr. Krabs wouldn't know.

"So, this is your room huh?" Vanessa asked as Pearl got out a piece of paper and a pencil from her drawer.

"Yup!"

"Uh…" Vanessa looked around at the posters of popular fish bands and sea unicorn wall trimmings; it was pink and girly, not quite what she was used to. "Nice," she said, trying to be polite.

"Glad you like it, it's totally what's coral in interior design now," Pearl gave her the pencil and paper. "Here!" Vanessa grabbed it, wondering what on earth 'coral' meant.

"Thanks." She then sat in Pearl's chair to start drawing. Pearl looked over her shoulder. Vanessa didn't draw anything; she seemed to be struggling to hold the pencil with her flippers. She looked at her new friend.

"Can you draw for me and I can dictate?" She asked. "I cannot draw with these flippers."

"Sure!" Vanessa smiled. The whale with the human's brain then went out of the chair and Pearl took her place. Pearl drew the map as Vanessa gave her instructions. They broke out laughing when done.

"Pearl?" Her dad asked from downstairs. "What's going on up there? Do you have friends up there?"

"No Daddy!" Vanessa lied, using Pearl's voice. "Everything's fine!" They laughed again. Vanessa gave Pearl the map.

"Okay, let's go already!" So the girls went outside.

The girls swam up to the surface.

"Okay," Vanessa told the Pearl the human. "This is where we depart." The human looked at her.

"Well, good luck!"

"Good luck!" Both girls went their separate ways; Pearl to the shore, and Vanessa, back to Mr. Krab's house.

"Wow!" Pearl said, admiring the beach, taking off the air helmet, putting it aside. "The land is really great!" There were lots of people swimming in the water, on the beach playing frisbee, and making sand castles, all having a good time. "I never thought the land was so similar to life underwater." Pearl then looked at Vanessa's map. "Oh yeah, the map." She looked at the map carefully and headed to the hotel.