Ok, so I was asked to make it a three shot, with what happened after. Not as much angst, because I had to add in talking and stuff. Lots of Guilty!Arthur. Don't worry; it's not a death fic. Or is it? The part in italics is Merlin in 2nd person.

You swallow and it comes crashing down. A split second of peace, you know it's all over and you welcome the end. Your soul is free. You get to see Freya and Will and your father. You know the others will eventually join you, hopefully not through the same means. You will welcome them with open arms. You black out, but not before hearing your name being called, and feeling your shoulders being shaken.

I watch as his head slumps onto the bed, my world is crashing down. No! It can't be over! I haven't had time to try helping. I run to him, shaking his shoulders. "Merlin, wake up!" I say, "Merlin!" He doesn't wake. I run to the other room, carrying him like the girl I had called him yesterday. Oh how I wish I didn't tease him so much. Was that part of what caused this? Did he realize the unspoken friendship? I put him on the hospital bed, and run out the door. "Get Gaius!" I yell to the nearest servant, "It's a matter of life and death!" They take off running.

I return to Merlin and try to help. He's unresponsive. He looks as though he's sleeping there, his face peaceful. Why did he choose this? What does he gain from death? What drove him to it?

Gaius returns. He looks irritated at being called from what he was doing, but the second he sees Merlin, he begins to look more worried and panicked. "What happened?" he asks. You point to the poisons. "He ate that?" Gaius hurries over and looks at which is missing. "Why?"

"I don't know. I just saw him eating it," you say, leaving out the fact that it was probably suicide, "Is he going to be ok," get right to the point, no need to draw out the suffering.

"It appears to be Castor Seeds, raw ones," Gaius said as he started grabbing things from shelves.

"Meaning?"

"It could be fatal, depending on the dose. I appear to be missing two, assuming he ate them both, he will die if we don't make the antidote in time,"

"How much time do we have?"

"Enough," We fall silent, left to our thoughts.

Does Gaius know it was suicide? Can he tell what I'm trying to spare him from? Why would Merlin do this to him? Can't he tell how like a son he is to Gaius? Why would he do it to me? I feel more lost and alone than I should. It's worse than the Morteus flower, because at least then I could do something. It also wasn't suicide then. Or was it? Now that I think about it, Merlin has always had a death wish. I should've seen this coming! The time in the labyrinth, the poisoned goblet, going on quests without armor. I feel so stupid! I could've fixed it. I could've stopped him. If I had confronted him, asked what was wrong, he would be fine.

You feel calm, like you're floating in a peaceful lake. It's neither warm nor cold, and you see a bright light. You start by floating towards the light, but then you feel a strong force pulling you backwards. In your mind you hear Will, "It's not your time. Don't do this. Live for the both of us," You ignore him, fighting the wind-like force. You try magic, but it's gone. You slowly black out from exhaustion and the wind sweeps you away.

Gaius forces his protesting mouth open and I pour the potion down his throat. He struggles, but I don't think he realizes what he's doing. He fights, and I pin him down. He cries out, and I wince, feeling as though I'm stabbed each time I hear that pitiful sob. When will this torture end? I get my answer as he stills and stops moving. Slowly he opens his eyes, tears rolling down his face.