AN: Just a quick one shot based on a few other fics I have read. I hope you like it, it's a little AU and quite sickly sweet in places. The last part is M rated but overall a nice safe T. I don't own Torchwood or any of it's respective characters - I just enjoy messing with them.

If you enjoy Torchwood and want to play too, go to my new RP site which is world wide web (dot) captain-jack (dot) proboards (dot) com !

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How to properly seduce someone without being too obvious about it in just a few short days.

By Captain Jack Harkness

Do you ever feel lonely or wished you had someone there for you. Ever want to shag someone senseless with no strings, but they learned to resist your charm. Well, with this guide you can get someone, anyone whether they are men, women, or AUO's(Aliens of Unknown Origin) to easily fall for your charm by following these simple steps.

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Step 1- Always look your best

Ianto made his way up the stairs to Jack's office reading over a file. His head had been absorbed in the file since that morning and it was only when there was a crash did he finally looked up to see both Jack and Gwen on the floor with scattered papers all around them.

"Gwen? Jack? Are you all right?" he asked, quickly putting the file down and walking over to them to help pick up the papers.

"Yeah, fine," said Gwen distractedly rubbing her head.

Ianto helped Gwen to her feet who was now glaring at Jack for not looking where he was going and then offered his arm to Jack who was still staring.

"Jack, are you all right?"

"Ianto, where's your suit?"

Ianto wore a pair of tight black jeans, and a black shirt with the top two buttons undone. His dress shoes had been replaced by a pair of black boots and to Jack he looked completely gorgeous.

"Owen spilt some unidentified liquid on them and they had to be disposed of." Ianto grumbled, "I had to borrow some clothes from storage, why?" he questioned, turning to try and look at himself.

"No reason..." Jack waved his hand and retreated into his office to record as much of Ianto as he could on CCTV.

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Step 2- Stay close to them without being too obvious.

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"Ow! Ianto, you're on my foot," Jack whispered.

"Well was it my fault you wanted to hide in a closet while those terflopian things-"

"Terafloraporheramodectrinates," he corrected.

"Whatever," he countered and continued, "I'm not the one who pissed them off."

"Give me some credit. Since when is trying to seduce someone or something an insult?"

"Apparently they find it as one."

"But you don't," he said breathing down Ianto's neck.

They were hiding in a closet. Ianto's chest was pressed against his and they couldn't possibly get any closer. Jack was extremely turned on by the whole situation and had to control himself from revealing anything more physical.

Ianto couldn't hide his grin, and then as he heard the aliens pass Jack pulled him closer if that was even possible. The aliens were monstrous and the last thing he wanted was for his Iant- one of his team to get hurt.

After a few minutes there was the sound of shuffling feet as they moved away. They both breathed a sigh of relief and Ianto unconciously sank into him even more like it was the most natural thing in the world. Jack smiled despite himself. The feel of Ianto's body was warm against his. Jack couldn't help but get a whiff of the archivists coffee scented shampoo.

"Are you smelling my hair?" Ianto asked as his hand moved lower on the Captains chest.

"Are you feeling me up?" Jack countered.

Ianto pulled back immediately; unfortunately he couldn't pull back very far because of the confined space they were in. His breath was hot against the other man's as they stood eye to eye. It would have been only too easy for Ianto for to lean forward and kiss him, but that was exactly what he would have wanted. Instead he purposely pressed himself closer to Jack and let hishand linger innocently in front of his groin. Ianto heard him make a small groan and he grinned despite himself.

"Ianto?"

"Jack. Shh I think I hear them coming again," he whispered as he pretended to listen.

Ianto wouldn't purposely do something like that would he? Jack desperately wanted to see what kind of magic those fingers which were modestly seconds from him could do. Tingles ran through him. Ianto looked at him with those beautiful eyes that could make him fall to his knees if there was any room. Ianto's head was slowly moving closer and so was Jack's completely of its own accord. And here he thought he was the one trying to seduce Ianto and not the other way around.

There was the sound of turning as Ianto's hand turned the knob and they stumbled out of the closet clinging to each other. Jack couldn't help but feel disappointed, he was seconds from those luscious lips when…he mentally slapped himself. Ianto was playing with him the whole time.

Trying to see whether or not he had some kind of self control which as to recent events proved otherwise.

Jack sighed, "If only the closet were bigger."

Ianto stared at him and he couldn't help but smirk.

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Step 3: Compliment them with sweet words.

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"Ianto you look stunning."

Ianto looked at him quizzically. They had just come from another mission where the alien had decided it'd be amusing to explode all over him. By the time he got back to the Hub the first thing he wanted to do was get it off and quickly.

"Jack I just got out of the shower and I'm only wearing a towel."

"Exactly."

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Step 4: Impress them whether it is with old tales to present actions.

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"My first time was with the boy next door and compared to recent lovers he gets a two," Tosh blushed.

The team had decided to go out for a few drinks and after more than a few they were having chats about past lovers and such.

"All right the best you ever had. Loving sex doesn't count or maybe it really was the best," Jack said with a waggle of his eyebrows and a cheeky smirk to match.
"Point is who got you the most excited? Gwen you first," Ianto smiled drunkenly as he gestured to the Welsh woman opposite.
Jack sat beside him and couldn't help but think about how cute Ianto was when he was drunk. They all were save for Owen who couldn't drink because he was undead; Jack was still sober too. The Captain never drank and when he did he took his liquor preferably alone and at the Hub with his own stash. Jack casually draped his arm around Ianto who had just taken another sip of beer and was looking at Gwen waiting for an answer.

"Rhys, no question," Gwen grinned as she took a sip of her own drink.
"Big shocker there," Owen mouthed and Tosh slapped him playfully.
"Tosh?" Ianto asked.
Tosh blushed a deep shade of red before answering. She answered too low for any of them to really hear and then hiccuped.
"I'm sorry, what?" Ianto asked. He wasn't sure if he heard correctly, but he could have sworn she said…
"Jack," it was almost a whisper, but they all heard that time.
Jack quickly pulled his arm back as the whole team stared at him. Tosh looked down at the table her face a mixture of emotions.
"I'll go get some more drinks," said Jack quickly getting up leaving everyone to stare after him.

"Wow, I didn't know…" Ianto said still in shock.
"It was when I first joined. Nothing romantic just casual," she said still blushing.
"Have you all slept with Jack? Owen, you too?" asked Ianto.
"Not my finest moment," he coughed.

"All right who's up for a game of pool," Jack began quickly coming back with some more drinks.
Ianto took the first drink he could get his hands on and drank it like it would provide all the answers to his problems.

"But I never said he was the best I ever had," Owen said.
"Excuse me?" Jack couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth as he stared at the medic.
Owen smirked as he shot down a bit of the other man's ego, "As you know I've slept with women and men so no offence Jack; Tosh don't look at me like that, compared to all my lovers he is only third best."
"Third?" Jack said in disbelief.
"The first was Diane and though it was loving she was also the best for me just plain sexually too."
"All right who was the second," said Jack retaking his seat next to Ianto while trying unsuccessfully to look calm and unfussed.
Owen knew he was going to enjoy this all too much. He was such a twat and he knew it all too well, "Ianto. Jones."
Ianto choked on his drink immediately and hit his chest with his fist and slammed his other hand on the table.
"What?" he looked at Owen in disbelief.
"What? You should feel honored. You beat Jack by a landslide or rather a bedslide."
Ianto groaned as if in physical pain and made to slide under the table, it was only Jacks hand gripping onto the scruff of his neck and pulling him up that stopped him. It didn't stop the dirty look he sent Owen Harper's way though.
"Well I'm only stating the truth."

Ianto blushed a deeper shade of red. The entire team was looking at him and he could do nothing but put his head in his hands.
"How about that game of pool..." Ianto said and Owen followed.

Jack sat in his seat folding his arms, contemplating this whilst keeping his eyes on Ianto. He had beaten him, as Owen apparently said, at his own trademark and he couldn't help being impressed and disappointed at the same time. Of all the people, he thought miserably to himself, you didn't seduce him and according to Owen he was better. He could have killed himself over this and now thanks to Owen he'd be obsessing about it over the next few days too.

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Step 5: Flirt until the subject of desire reaches blushing quota, but be careful sometimes they may find means of turning their own charm on you.

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"So you want to spend the night with me," Jack asked as he stood behind Ianto as the Welshman finished making coffee.
Ianto almost choked on the sip of coffee he was taking at the time and Jack patted and rubbed his back to keep him from killing himself. He watched the Welshman turn a shade of red and grinned.
"What?" he asked turning to him and wiping his mouth.
"To finish some filing. I could do with the company," he told him innocently.

Ianto folded his arms as Jack gave him one of those dashing smiles he could produce when he wanted his own way. Ever since the night in the bar the entire team had been acting weird around Ianto. Owen was just being an idiot. He was given an opportunity to play the part of a super wanker and took it or so he told himself. He didn't even want to relive the memory of sleeping with him. That seemed so long ago. About a year and half he estimated actually. He was single again since Lisa's death and he didn't need Owen stirring painful memories.
"Yeah, just give me a few minutes," he told him finishing up in the kitchen and handed Jack a cup of coffee to distract the Captain.

Jack nodded in thanks and headed back towards his office. The entire team had left and he would finally get some alone time with Mr Jones.
"Tosh!" Jack said surprised as the Japanese woman appeared at the door to his office.
"Sorry Jack I just needed to scan this object and since Owen and Gwen had moved it to the office well…" she said as she continued to scan a huge chunk of alien metal that had fallen through the rift.
He sat at his desk trying not to look impatient, but he wanted the Hub empty as soon as possible save for Ianto of course. He picked up a newspaper pretending to read just to keep himself occupied.

"Tosh! I didn't know you were still here," said Ianto as he entered through the door.
Tosh looked up to see Ianto standing just inside the door. She then looked to Jack who was smirking behind a newspaper. It looked as though the left side of his jaw was twitching and Tosh suddenly understood what was going on.
"Ianto are you working late?" she asked casually.
"Jack needs some help with filing I believe he said is that right Jack?" he turned to him.
Jack nodded and pretended not to notice either one of them. Something else was plaguing his mind. A fantasy that wouldn't stop playing in his head. It seemed all he did lately was indulge in getting Ianto to himself. Perhaps if he finally had him he could get him out of his head once and for all. That's how it worked for the rest of them, but Ianto… there was always something holding him back. No more, he thought. He needed to go through this for his own sanity and pleasure. He could almost hear the way he called his name and how he felt as he moved.

"Jack you might want to put that way," Tosh noted as she left.
Jack looked down and immediately put the paper down over his pants and turned and deep red hoping Ianto didn't notice.

It seemed he had indulged a little too much that time.

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Step 6: If you have completed all the first five steps well then there should be no problem with the test of jealousy. Don't give them all the attention they've been recently receiving and see how they react. If you do it even more correctly then by the end of the night you should be going home with them and not the person you were using to make the other person jealous… if that even made sense.

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"Do you come here often," Jack asked casually sitting next to a man near a bar.

Jack caught Ianto's eye and watched him turn red. He was currently sat with Tosh on the other side and they were discussing something about aliens until he saw him smirking that irresistible smirk at another. Ianto sighed and looked back to Tosh who quickly sensed what was wrong.

"Why does he do that?" said the Welshman taking a sip of his beer exasperated beyond relief because of the mixed signals this man was sending him again.
"Why do men do anything?" Tosh countered.
Ianto grimaced and gestured to himself.
"I'll tell you why," said Tosh, ignoring the gesture, "The same reason why a dog licks itself. Because it can."
Ianto smiled at this, but he still felt tired all the same.

"Play him at his own game," Tosh encouraged, "You might have fun in the process."
Ianto smiled and looked around the bar for someone he could randomly hook up with just to piss Jack off if he did get pissed off. Jack caught his eye again and continued to whisper sweet nothings into the man sitting next to him's ear.

"Hi ya, how you doing?" asked a man taking a seat next to Ianto, "The name's Chris and I couldn't help but notice you across the room."
"You're very upfront aren't you?" Ianto flirted back as Tosh left to find Owen. He was cute. He had brown curly hair and dazzling brown eyes. He could definitely pay his way around with the sleek way that he dressed.
"I'm a man who knows what he wants," he smiled.

Ianto definitely wouldn't mind losing himself to this guy any day.

"Ianto Jones," he said and relaxed into his chair as he got into a conversation about weird sightings around town. Ianto couldn't help but indulge him.

Jack was close to getting this guy into bed and he really wouldn't have minded. This guy was hot. He tried to catch Ianto's eye again when he noted he wasn't even talking to Tosh any more. He was talking to some random bloke. Some handsome random bloke. Some handsome random bloke with a great smile. Some handsome random bloke with a great smile who looked as though he could afford to shop anywhere. Jack almost vomited on the man in front of him, but he didn't care.

"You alright?" asked the man sitting next to him, "You look kind of green. You sick?"
"Do I," Jack said through clenched teeth, "I need some air is all, but it was great meeting you."
Jack stood up quickly and left the man dumbfounded. Jack tapped Ianto on the shoulder who didn't respond so quickly.
"Oh Jack. Hey everything all right?" he asked distractedly.
"Yeah fine," he answered a little too cheerfully.

"Sir this is Chris. Chris this is Jack, my boss.

"Pleasure, Sir."

Jack laughed and responded, "Likewise. Ianto, there's a situation and we have to go if you don't mind," he said with a fake smile.
He didn't care. He'd make up a fake weevil attack or something. He just wanted him as far away as possible from this guy.

"Go grab Tosh and Owen and I'll meet you guys outside," Ianto said trying to wave him off.
"No, you don't understand we need to go now," he said pulling him up by his arm.
"Jack?" Ianto questioned.
"Hey buddy, if he doesn't want to go just leave him!" Chris stood up and
Jack made for him threateningly. Ianto had to put up his arms to stop the two from slicing and dicing each other and since Jack couldn't die the odds for Chris were not good.
"All right, all right that's enough. Chris it was lovely meeting you and I'm sorry about this. Jack, outside now!" he yelled.
Jack smirked with satisfaction as he followed him out. As soon as they were out of the pub Ianto slammed him against the wall and looked at him furiously, "What was that about Sir?"
"I was saving you. The man was obviously straight and he was just going to use you for experimentation." Jack was laughing.

"Oh that's rich coming from you especially when you say things like 'You people and your quaint little categories..." he said in a mocking American accent, "That's such bullshit and quite honestly I wouldn't have minded the experimentation Sir. And you should talk, you were practically feeling up that man over there."
"Don't change the subject. I was saving you."
"Oh yes, the big handsome man was such a danger to me especially when you compare him to something like catching aliens right?" he shot back, his voice lowering slightly. "You weren't trying to save me from anything Jack and if I didn't know better I'd say you were…"
Realization hit Ianto as he came to terms that he had beat him at his own game. A smug expression crossed his features and he released Jack from the wall.

"What?" he asked.

Ianto didn't answer but only left him standing there. There was a self-satisfaction and knowingness in his step. Jack had a feeling he knew what Ianto was going to say and it wasn't in any way true. Jack Harkness didn't get jealous. Although there was that one time with Owen. He had spent days thinking up gruesome ways to torture and kill him. And then there was that other guy Ianto had met for coffee a month back who he just wanted to punch even though the man had done nothing wrong. And then the clown in the bar who he just wanted to… dammit Harkness!

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Step 7: If you have done all these things correctly then here is the final step. Get them alone. Whisper sweet seduction in their ear for the final time and if you do this correctly by the end of the night you will be the one getting pushed against the wall making your subject believe they had initialized the seduction and not the other way around though you have properly prepared them for it (See steps 1-6 for preparation skills)

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Jack slammed him against the wall and kissed him long, hard and without mercy. It wasn't soft and sensuous. It was rough and deliberate. He had had enough. He wanted Ianto and tonight he made it his firm goal to have him. The Welshman in question had responded immediately. There was lust, fire and passion in his blue eyes and the urge to have him just as much as Jack.

"I hate the way you can always tell when I'm lying," Jack told him as he started to kiss along Ianto's collarbone.
Everyone had left. It was only them. They had gotten into this fight in the boardroom about how he never let him into his life and always kept him at a distance. That fight had quickly turned into a fight about the little things they hated about each other. And then the Captain had cracked. He just couldn't help it. He grabbed Ianto's head and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Next thing he knew he was throwing him against the wall and letting him firmly know that if he wanted in so bad, well… he was in.
His hands were all over. He went from Ianto's hair to his waist to legs while the Welshman explored his back. His fingers trailed over him delicately rough and he was just so aroused.

"You are so goddamn stubborn," he said catching Ianto's swollen lips again.
Their tongues dueled for control and Ianto wasn't about to let him have all of it, but Jack finally he got his way with a clever move of his tongue. Jack bit down on Ianto's lip as he went to pull away again for air and he growled at the feel of the slight stubble on Ianto's cheek scraping against his own.

"I hate how you're always in control of everything."

"I hate how you're always in control of me," Jack countered.
He picked Ianto up and roughly pushed him onto the boardroom table. He opened his legs to give him more room as his erection pressed against the Welshman's inner thigh. He didn't waste any time with the buttons on his shirt and released his mouth only to rip open the tailored shirt to reveal a toned and firm chest. Jack attacked his chest as Ianto worked on the Captain's shirt. He slipped off Jack's braces and proceeded with the buttons. Ianto gave a slight moan when Jack licked across his chest and worked his way back up to the other man's neck. Man, he was going to be bruised in the morning he thought distractedly.

Jack went to work at the soft woolen material of Ianto's suit trousers, but the archivist had had enough of the Captain being in control. Ianto stopped the other man's hand and pushed him forward, back against the wall as he jumped back down from the boardroom table. He was taken aback by this thinking there was something wrong, but Ianto began to kiss him deeply again. He opened the zip of Jack's trousers letting them drop to the ground and groped him roughly through the material of his boxers.
The way his fingers brushed Jack and worked ever so softly caused his erection to double in size. God, they really did work magic he thought. There was an ache forming, and need crying out. He needed Ianto now, but he wasn't going to let that happen, not yet.

"Ianto," he managed and the other man smiled at his response continuing down.
He pulled down Jack's boxers and took in his size with slightly wide eyes. He smiled at Ianto's reaction and couldn't help but be pleased with himself. Ianto licked him ever so slightly and Jack had to grit his teeth. His tongue against his hardness was…oh God, he couldn't describe it, but the way he licked along the length and kissed along his balls and the…
"Ianto..." he could barely control himself. This was ridiculous. He was going to come soon if the other man didn't stop. He couldn't let that happen though. He wasn't going to win and before he knew it he pulled him up, carrying him in his arms naked he ran as fast as he could to his bedroom.

Ianto rolled his eyes and pulled Jack on top of him onto the bed and began to kiss him hard. Ianto was still far too clothed to his liking and Jack succeeded in getting all of the Welshman's clothes off except for his boxers. Jack's hand traveled down from his hair to his neck as he continued to kiss Ianto. He traced a path along his taught stomach with his hand until he reached the other man's arousal. He couldn't believe how hard he was even through the thin material separating them. Clever fingers stroked him as they teased each other mercilessly.

"Jack,"Ianto started. He was just as bad as Jack was with the teasing.

His hips rocked against Ianto's harder and faster and his mouth moved lower and lower and the Welshman had to laugh at what he was doing next. He bit at Ianto's underwear and began to take it off with his teeth.
"You're an animal," he told him with a smirk.
"Oh yeah," it wasn't a question as pulled himself back over the Welshman, "And you're beautiful."
Ianto wrapped a leg around him and looked him in the eyes. "Are you sure you want to-" he asked, preparing himself quickly.
"-Absolutely"
Jack thrust into him at the intimate angle. His eyes widened and rolled up into the back of his head. It was like a surge of energy had been transferred, some kind of perfect balanced… connection. So warm, so loving and so deep.

He went deliberately slow enjoying the feel of the young and firm hot body against him also allowing him to become accustomed to his size. Jack kissed Ianto again as he moaned into his mouth. Ianto's own hands found Jack's back as they sunk into the mattress. Ianto's eyes closed as he began to feel his climax building. They began to thrust together finding a medium and they moved with perfect symmetry. Jack could feel himself coming too. Their bodies slicked with sweet sweat and their hearts beating as one. Jack tried to think when sex was ever this…intimate.
"Jack," Ianto said his name as he fisted himself frantically.

That just about undid the Captain as he began to thrust faster and harder, desperate with desire and mutual need. The sensation was erratic and intense and Ianto arched up, urging him deeper. Jack's heart drummed in his ears, his ache for Ianto felt… and he knew it. Ianto was his.

They climaxed in unison. Sweat glistened across their bodies as they cried each other's names in pleasure. Jack filled the other man and collapsed on top of him, their nude forms entangled with each other. This feeling he had was different. He didn't feel empty any more, not really. He looked down at Ianto and smiled.

The Welshman in question had a slightly shocked but satisfied look on his face as he tried to regain control of his breathing. Owen was right about him being the best. No one had ever been able to do what he had just done to him.

"I hate the way you've undone me they way you did," he told Ianto. He gave him a small grin as he continued, "I like how yell my name as you come."
Ianto looked at him tenderly and kissed him softly. Jack moved to lay down next to the other man, still inside him as the Welshman ran his fingers softly across Jack's cheek, "I like the way you react when I kiss you like so."
Ianto kissed him softly on the sensitive area on his chest and Jack shivered in delight and hardened again. The Welshman's eyes went wide and Jack couldn't help but laugh as he wiped a bead of sweat off Ianto's forehead.

"I like having you here."

"I like being here."

THE END