Not the most original idea, but... XD

Premise: Ryuk convinces the shinigami King to turn Light into a cat so that he can infiltrate L. Only problem is…L hates cats.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note XD

Of Cats and Cake

Chapter 1

"Ryuk, I need a favor." Light spoke in smooth slyness. "Apples. I'll give you lots and LOTS of apples."

And that was how Ryuk had found himself in the shinigami realm, bargaining with the shingami King, about Light's request.

It was not a simple task, and thus Ryuk had been forced to give up a small amount of the apples he'd been promised, but it was worth it. This would be interesting to say the least.

Light glared daggers at Ryuk as he scooped him up and proceeded to scruff his fur.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk," he laughed, "how about this place?" he asked the disgruntled cat.

Light was not amused. Not at all. This was humiliating, but it would get L. He would find out his name, even if he had to turn into a cat to do it…which was what he had done. He'd seen how that man ate Hello Kitty cookies. And oh, how he gushed over them. Disgusting. Flirting with food, and then…petting it. Ugh. Nothing disgusted Light more than the disturbing behavior L displayed when eating. From the way he licked his donuts, to the delicate way he picked up the sweets, to the very rude way in which he sat. Gross, disgusting, disturbing.

But that was beside the point. L had a penchant for cats, and Light was going to exploit it.

"Meow~" Light tried. Damn it, he couldn't speak. It was of course Ryuk's fault. He knew that, by default, Ryuk would be unwilling to sacrifice his beloved apples and thus, Light had been denied the necessity of voice. "Meow~" he tried again, much more annoyed. Finally! At least he'd gained some control over this wretched body.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk. So cute, Light." He scratched Light behind the ear, to which Light flattened his ears as far back as he could, a silent warning. "Heh, maybe I should take you to Misa. She could probably change that attitude of yours. Hyuk hyuk hyuk."

Don't you dare.

"I need more apples, Light." Ryuk whined while still stroking the fur, "I had to give up half my apples."

Half? Sure, Ryuk. Like you would give away 500 apples.

Light complained wildly. A long drawn out meow escaped him and in return, Ryuk chuckled.

"500 apples and I'll drop you off at the hotel."

Damn you, Ryuk.

Light was currently pacing back and forth in an alley. An ALLEY. Ryuk had left him not AT the hotel as promised, but in an alley just out back. Damn it! And then he had just left! What if someone else came along and picked him up? That was bound to happen to with his charmingly good looks. Or rather, now that he was a cat, impossibly cute charm. Yes, that was it.

What was more, he couldn't get a hold of L because that recluse never left the suite and Watari only ever went out to buy –

Watari. Smooth move, Ryuk. Maybe I've rubbed off on you after all.

Light wondered how he should play this. He would lay low, stay hidden close by the entrance, and make sure he caught sight of when Watari left. Yes…that should work.

As Light trod inside he was met with the horrible cooing of children. Ugh. Disgusting. That was the downside to being so goddamn irresistible. Oh, right 'cute'.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" one of the many bellboys scurried hurriedly over, "This is no place for you, little kitty!"

Light scoffed. Little kitty? He was hardly that young for a cat, and in no way was he LITTLE.

The bellboy grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and carried him to what Light assumed was the nearest exit.

"Behave now, kitty." The man smiled before dropping him onto the filthy ground.

Ironically, it appeared he had ended up in the very same FILTHY alley Ryuk had left him in.

"Oh, Light," Ryuk started, the ever present grin decorating his face, "There you are."

Ryuk. Where the hell had he been? That no good IDIOT.

Light hissed at the shinigami, baring sharp teeth in what he hoped was a threatening manner.

"Heh, you try to find L?" he chuckled. Apparently Ryuk found the rotten way he was treated amusing.

Light growled, where the fuck have you been? Bastard.

"Eh, well…"Ryuk sheepishly scratched the back of his own black head, "He's uh…kinda not at the hotel anymore so…"

What! Light raised a paw, threatening claws pushing out and swiping at Ryuk, an attack that failed miserably. Where. The. Fuck. Is. L.

"Heh, no worries, Light. I know where he is."

Good. At least you're not completely useless.

Watari. The man was a godsend. Light currently found himself in a quite comfortable red chair. The same chair, Light knew, that just happened to be L's favorite. He smirked to himself as he envisioned the indignant look on L's face when he encountered none other than Light Yagami, in cat form, occupying the comfortable cushion. That is, if L would ever come out of hiding…which, Light suspected, was exactly what he was doing.

"You must be starving," chimed the old man, "let me get you some milk."

Light wanted to politely decline, the way he was used to dealing with Watari, but nothing would come out except for a pathetic mewl, an action that Watari interpreted as nagging, or pleading…or dare he say it, BEGGING. And so, off the old man went, into the kitchen, probably fetching some canned tuna on the way.

Light lounged in the armchair while he waited for Watari to return. He had to THINK of something. How was he going to get L to like him? They thought so much alike that surely, he would be able to find some way that an actual animal, with the low intelligence level that they possessed, would seem appealing and possibly even…endearing. Initially, his plan had seemed flawless, but now that he thought about it, why would L take a liking to a random cat? Was there ever any indication that L actually liked animals? Other than Hello Kitty?

Watari returned mere moments later, and just as Light had suspected, brought with him both a bowl of milk and canned tuna.

Light inwardly sighed. He would have to surrender some of his pride if this was to work. It had to be believable.

"Meow~" he started, using the most pleased sound he could muster.

"Aww~" Watari cooed, just as he had expected the old man to, "You like that, huh?"

In return, Light nuzzled the old man's leg, trying to still the nausea he felt at having to degrade himself in such a way.

The inventor bent down and picked him up, enough to send Light yowling, but Watari didn't relent. He carried him to the chair and actually SAT DOWN in it, placing Light on his lap. Gross, gross, gross, thought Light.

Watari then did something that shocked Light. Of course it had seemed like the obvious turn of events, but he still wasn't used to this body and so…when Watari proceeded to start PETTING him, he knew he was in trouble.

The warmth he felt was enough to send him into a dream like state, and if he hadn't heard the chuckles of a certain SOMEONE, he would've never known he was purring. Damn pleasure points!

"Hehe, looks like you're enjoying yourself, Light." Ryuk taunted.

Damn you, Ryuk! Light hissed his warning, but instead of achieving the desired effect from a certain Death God, Watari retracted his hand as if he'd been burned.

That wasn't…Light deflated. He hadn't meant to scare Watari off. In fact, he was readily enjoying the sensation that wrinkled old hand was bringing, and now the old man was leaving.

"I guess you don't like physical contact much, huh?" he mused, looking pensive.

Light flattened his ears. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Watari wasn't supposed to be so nice! He…he was here for L. It didn't matter much either way, but having Watari think he disliked physical contact was detrimental to his relationship with L. Nothing he did could jeopardize that. L had to think he liked to be touched. L had to like cuddling him, L had to –

"Oh, Ryuuzaki!" he heard Watari greet, "I have something you might like."

Oh no. Not NOW. Damn it. He supposed it was sooner rather than later, but still…he was unprepared.

"Oh? What is it Watari?" came the bored response.

And then there were footsteps. They were almost there…quick…what should he do?

The footsteps stopped. Onyx eyes locked with caramel.

If possible, L looked…annoyed?

TBC

This didn't turn out exactly as I planned.

Tell me if I should continue this. Does anyone like this?