PART ONE

Sirius Black

November 1st 1981, 1:33 A.M.

The tricky thing about second chances is that they never come alone; there's always a catch, always a 'but', some kind of price to pay. First opportunities are hardly anything like that. They're almost like gifts falling from of the sky; like snowflakes waiting to find rest on somebody's curious tongue, or somebody's open hand. All you have to do is catch them, simple as that.

Second chances, however, come with a plethora of limitations and restrictions designed to make you regret missing out on your first chance. People always say you should consider yourself lucky if you're awarded a second chance because they don't come often. Maybe that's true. But, personally, I have always found that concept hard to understand; when with every additional chance given one must pay a higher price each time.

I didn't even know what chance I was on. Somewhere along the line I'd lost count. Yet, somehow, I was aware that I'd officially reached the highest level of bidding. After this night I'd have no more to give, no more to bargain for. My pride was literally all I had left and I was about to give that up too.

The rain fell heavily on that cold, dark night. I looked up and saw that there were no stars out in the sky; only dark rain clouds. Not even the dim glow of the moon was visible tonight. As I looked around me, the town seemed nearly a complete blur. Cold water trickled down my back. My shirt, though protected by the thick black leather jacket I was wearing, was quickly becoming soaked. I shivered for a second, and I wondered if it was really the cold wind creeping into my bones that was making me do so.

I wiped the rain water off my face and I could see the street was deserted. Only the streetlights shone above and there were only a couple of houses on the block in which lights remained on. I was dispirited to see that the house I stood in front of wasn't one of them. I pictured her warm in her bed, sound asleep, her mind full of dreams; reality seeming like an illusion. And there I was standing outside her door about to disrupt her tranquility. But I had no choice. I had worn down all my chances right down to this now-or-never moment.

My boots squished on small puddles across the brick pathway as I made my way around the house. Lighting flashed across the sky but I remained unperturbed. I thought it peculiar, to find myself at a point in life where being struck by lightning didn't seem like the worst thing that could happen.

I pondered this as I stepped off the pathway and unto the muddy grass of the yard, passing the familiar pine tree and empty jasmine bushes. My memory covered them with snow and I was forced to look away. A branch stuck out at me, brushed my leg as if attempting to grab me and pull me back. Remember me?, it seemed to ask.

It's probably better if I don't.

But it was even harder to keep the memories away as I stood beneath her balcony staring up. It was like being surrounded by ghosts that endure only to replay certain scenes again and again. I saw them moving in familiar ways, speaking words only she and I could ever know had been spoken. He threw pebbles at her glass door; she leaned over the balustrade. He laughed at her distress; she scolded him for teasing her. I heard their voices, though no louder than whispers, echoing through the rain:

"Hey, Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

I inhaled deeply and looked down at my feet, squeezing my wand in my hand. This slight movement caused the ghosts to disperse and I was glad to see them gone. And yet somehow, some deeper, subconscious part of me would have liked for them to remain, only not as a memory.

I swallowed hard and raised my wand. There was no time to waste reminiscing. Somewhere, wherever it was that life plans were stored; in a dusty forgotten library or a locked cabinet, with the key lost and left to rust; there was a clock beside mine, ticking, counting down, only minutes left.

So I waved my wand and watched silvery wisps pour out of it, turning like a small tornado, feet above the ground. Swiftly, it began to take shape and soon a large bear-like silver dog stood up, pawing the muddy earth excitedly, nudging me with its snout.

As I got down on one knee, he became very still, sat down and listened intently.

"Wake her. Let her know I'm here. Be gentle."

He let out a soft bark and circled the ground once before scampering up the wind into the balcony. I stood like a pillar watching him go. He phased through her sliding glass door and I waited, wondering for a moment what I was doing, why I had suddenly made up my mind to come here tonight and see her. Why the pressing necessity to tell her all now, after all these years? I had carried this with me for so long, it seemed pointless to speak of it now. Why should telling her now change anything?

I'd imagined her reaction all the way to her doorstep and none of the scenarios had been pleasant ones. I knew from past experiences and failed attempts that the final outcome could not be a good one. It was, after all, for her sake that I had withheld all this time. But we had somehow arrived at this crucial moment and it could no longer be postponed. Call it a dying man's last wish; a last minute caprice, but suddenly it didn't seem so tragic if I got nothing back. Perhaps it was the general sense that I had nothing left to lose egging me on. After everything that had happened tonight this had to be the least of my worries.

Right?

A dim golden light suddenly filled the room contained behind the glass doors. A hazy gray shadow approached and the white curtain swished for a second. I thought I could make out her face, but the darkness and the rain were making it impossible to see clearly. The curtain swished back into its regular position and I swallowed hard. Turning away, I walked back towards the front of the house.

Just as I made it to the front steps I heard the soft click of the lock and the door opened in front of me.

There she stood, dressed in a long, light blue nightgown, pulling a white woolen shawl over her sleeveless shoulders. She combed through her messy strawberry blonde fringe with her fingers while her eyes adjusted to the light

"Emmeline…" I muttered.

She looked me over and when her squinting eyes grew suddenly very round and wide I knew she'd realized I was standing in a puddle, drenched from head to toe, and soaking in more water as the rain fell upon me.

"Sirius, what are you doing here? Are you drunk? Come in!" she urged as she opened the door wider and stepped aside to let me in.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked closing the door behind us. "Do you realize what time it is?"

"I'm sorry; I know it's late," I began. She waved her wand in the air and a large blue towel emerged from its tip. She quickly caught it with her free hand and wrapped it around my shoulders. My heart gave a small leap as I watched her silently while she dried my face with the corners of the towel. My eyes met hers for a split second but she looked away almost instantly. Suddenly my insides felt very warm but I didn't attribute that to the towel.

"You're as pale as a sheet…come sit by the fire," she said taking my hand and leading me from the foyer, to a warm white sofa in the common room in front of the fireplace. It looked inviting but I wasn't there to get comfortable. I did wish for nothing more than to be able to sit there all night beside her warm, comfortable and happy but I knew now that I'd never see nights like those again.

I thought of all the lasts I had missed. All the moments I hadn't said goodbye to. So many opportunities taken for granted; all melted away like snow in the last winter of my life.

Emmeline tugged at my hand but then turned to look at me when I didn't move. Her eyes carefully searched my face. "What's wrong, Sirius?"

"I can't, Emmy," I said, retracting my hand from hers. "I don't have much time."

The lines on her forehead deepened and she blinked, fighting confusion with anxiety. "Why? What's going on?"

I swallowed and although ninety percent of my body was still very wet, my mouth was very dry. The words were inside my head, I could see them, but when I thought of saying them, I couldn't get my mouth to open. I couldn't verbalize them. If I did, they would be out there in the physical world, able to hurt anyone they came across, including myself.

I gazed over at the sofa once more and I felt as though there was a hand squeezing my heart. I wanted those late nights back. I thought perhaps if I wished hard enough it would all go back to how it was before. But I couldn't wish any harder and nothing was changing. I felt my breath leave me as I stood there paralyzed, afraid to move and afraid to speak. My jaw was clenched and tears were stinging my eyes, because there was nothing I could do to put it back right. There was absolutely no magic in the world that could make everything right once more.

"Sirius, please speak, you're scaring me with your silence," Emmeline said wrapping the shawl tighter around herself.

I finally opened my mouth and took a deep breath before saying, "Something terrible happened tonight, Em."

My throat began to close up and my nose began to sting. "James and Lily..."

Despite all my efforts, my voice cracked towards the end and I cleared my throat to disguise it. It was impossible, I couldn't utter the words. I knew that the moment I felt them roll off my tongue a wave of emotions would come tumbling out of me and I would lose what little self-control I'd managed to gather in the last hour. If there ever was a time when I should've looked strong, it was then. But my mind kept wandering back to the revolting images I'd just seen and I was afraid I'd break down in front of her the way I'd done when I found their house in shambles…their cold lifeless bodies staring blankly up at me…

Even now in my most vulnerable moment I feared that she would think of me as weak. However, words no longer seemed to be necessary. Understanding dawned upon her as her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth.

"You don't mean…please say it's not what I'm thinking…" she begged but I could already hear her voice filling with fear. She closed her eyes tightly almost as if she were wishing the thought away.

"Voldemort was at Godric's Hollow tonight…and James and Lily…they…they didn't…" My hands were tight fists in my pockets and I realized now that I was shaking.

Emmeline let out a tiny sob as she cupped both hands over her mouth and tears welled up in her eyes.

"How…what happened? How did he find them?" she asked looking up at me. Her voice quavered and her eyes were heavy with tears, her nose had already turned a bright red. Before I could think of an answer, she gasped, "Where's Harry?"

I purposely avoided her first two questions. There would never be enough time in one night to explain it all to her. Besides, I was afraid that she may not believe me even if I tried. "Harry's alright…I don't know why or how but the killing curse seems to have rebounded off him. He's with Hagrid. Dumbledore's ordered to have him taken to his aunt and uncle's.

"As for Voldemort…I'm not sure where he's gone…Dumbledore might have some theories as to what exactly happened but I don't think you'll hear about any of that until morning."

Emmeline chewed on her lower lip and stared blankly at my feet as she went over the bits of information in her head. I could see the slow process taking place. How many times had I sat and watched her, studied her facial expressions. Every twitch, every slight, ghostly movement was a thought twice as grand gliding through her mind.

Her wrinkled forehead, her furrowed brow, even the incessant, subconscious wringing of her fingers…they all predicted what I already knew would come…

Suddenly, she was shaking her head and tears were falling abundantly from her eyes down to her bare feet. She raised her hands once more to catch an army of sobs that escaped from her mouth all at once.

As she emitted hiccup after incomplete hiccup, I panicked that she would somehow stop breathing. Not knowing what else to do, I stepped toward her and pulled her close. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as if somehow I could hold her together and keep her from crumbling into pieces to the floor.

She mumbled incoherent things, that I knew would tear me down too if I could understand them. As it was, something was bubbling inside me ready to tear me apart, a pain like I'd never felt before – a pain that I could feel all over my body but whose epicenter I could not pinpoint if I wanted to.

I whispered into her ear lies; things we both knew weren't true, but we both needed to hear. That was the trouble with verbalizing hurtful words. You needed at least twice the amount of soothing ones to make everything alright again. And even then, sometimes an entire collection of dictionaries would never suffice.

I don't know if she cared about what I had to say, but soon her sobs were giving way to each other. She wrapped her arms around my midriff and my heart had the audacity to skip a beat. I dropped my speech mid-sentence, realizing how little words mattered anymore. I felt her warm in my arms and for a second – just for a second – the pain faded. And I started to wonder what kind of person I was, to stand there enjoying that compassionate embrace, when my best friend had been murdered mere hours ago? What kind of friend forgets, for the smallest of instances, the image of your lifeless body just to inhale the scent of a girl's hair?

But the scent of jasmines in her hair had always had that effect; it took me away, made me invincible. I could erase entire decades and centuries. I could live in alternate universes. Rewrite history. Vanquish all evil. Bring back the dead. Conquer the world.

"When will it all end?" she whispered through restrained sobs. "How much more can we possibly take?"

I had no answers for her. Not when I had wondered the same things day in and day out since the beginning of this war.

"I'm scared, Sirius," she added. "Every time something horrible happens it feels as though we've reached the limit, as though things can't possibly get worse…but then the limit keeps moving further and further away and—"

She tightened her hold on me.

"—I'm scared that the worst is yet to come."

A pang of pain crossed my chest at her words. I held her closer, tighter and buried my nose in her hair trying not to think, trying to forget, to pretend just for a moment that her fears had no real basis, that there was still hope…

Everyone must have a different idea of what the ultimate worst of this war will be. Some perhaps think that Voldemort will win, that entire countries will be subdued, the muggle race vanquished, and that anyone with an ounce of integrity will be either mercilessly killed or put to slavery.

But for others, the worst could be anything at all. Voldemort's ultimate reign would seem insignificant next to these. It could be the loss of both your parents, for example. Or leaving your child orphaned and defenseless in a cruel world. The worst could be finding out one of your best friends has betrayed you, right as you give in to cold death…

The thing is, you won't know until it comes, the moment your last hope is vanquished, the moment the worst has come. It bears no warning. It just pulls the rug from right under your feet. And when it hits you, it hits you hard, cruelly, mercilessly…

I knew the feeling only too well, having already lost so much. And yet somehow I was still standing. Somehow I had made it this far.

And yet, only one thought still managed leave me cold, breathless. Losing Emmeline, never having her in my life again…for me, that was the worst that could happen.

"Emmy, I don't have much time," I said, releasing her and pushing her away gently. Her arms unraveled from around me, as she looked up at me disconcerted.

As I pulled the towel around from my shoulders and hung it on the arm rest of the sofa, I tried not to think about the possibility of not holding her again. I tried not to think about this being the last time. But once I looked at her again it was hard not to consider it.

"I'm leaving tonight…" I said.

"Leaving?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise and what I hoped was distress. "Where are you going?"

I shook my head. "I think it's probably best if I don't tell you."

I could see by the sudden furrowing of her brow that she was ready to argue but I quickly interjected before she could say anything else, "For your own safety, Emmy, don't ask me anymore."

She tried to search my face for an answer, but with her mouth forming a straight line, I knew she wouldn't push the subject.

I inhaled deeply, trying to gather up my courage. "However…there's something I wanted to tell you before I left…"

"What is it?" she asked, her curiosity somewhat renewed.

I took her hands in mine, brushing my thumbs against the soft skin on the back of them, tracing the thin line of the scar on the left one.

We could stand here and not say another word. We could stand here and leave it at this, leave this moment untouched. And I would forever remember her delicate, serene. If I didn't say another word she could forever be my Emmy, and we could live forever in the possibility.

But a stronger instinct within in me pushed me to proceed. That tactic had been tried before. It was now time to come clean.

"It's you Emmy," I finally uttered in one impulsive zap, closing my eyes, holding my breath, my heart beating in my ears. "It's always been you."

I opened my eyes to find her staring back, her face unflinching, somber.

"Sirius –"

"It's always been you, Emmeline…the only girl I've ever cared for, the only constant thing in my useless, careless life…" I continued with a sudden rush that started at my head and went all the way down to my feet. Excitement and fear were crowding my chest and I felt breathless, as if I'd been running for hours…days…years…

She was looking away and I could see her lower lip begin to tremble but now that I'd started I was finding it hard to stop. I couldn't lose momentum now; she had to know…I had to tell her everything.

"I have spent the last five years so hopelessly in love with you—"

"Sirius, please…stop…"

Emmeline had whispered so softly that her voice was barely audible above the sound of the rain that continued to fall outside. The words fell back into my throat as hard lumps and I was suddenly very cold and stiff once more. Tears were falling down her face again and the rush within my body vanished. She carefully slipped her hands out of mine as if afraid of hurting me. She brought them to her face and wiped her cheeks, never once daring to meet my gaze.

"I'm sorry," I said, swallowing hard, turning my own gaze down to my feet. "I didn't mean to…I just thought…"

Incomplete phrases formed inside my head as I struggled to decide whether I should fix this; whether it was even possible, or whether I should just give it up once and for all and walk away.

I looked back up at her as she pulled the shawl over her shoulders once more, keeping her arms wrapped around herself, her gaze still cast aside. My insides constricted with frustration. A dormant part of me wanted to shake her, force a different reaction out of her. A slap, a kiss – it didn't matter much anymore which one she opted for; I wanted something concrete, something to end the doubts. But once again she had managed to dodge the question and the answer all together.

But what difference would it make? Whatever her reaction, at the end of it all, I still had to leave, to never return, to never see her again. I realized now how pointless it was to hope for her love or her rejection.

At last, I let out a deep breath and said, "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

Her eyes flickered momentarily towards me and I felt that flame of frustration grow just a little. I felt another impulse coming, and before I could obey it and make matters worse I decided it was time for me to leave.

"I better go now," I said.

"How long?" she suddenly asked, her eyes finally meeting mine. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know."

Her forehead creased with worry again, and yet she managed to sound hopeful. "You are coming back, right?"

I stared blankly at her, not knowing what to say.

"Right?" she reiterated, raising her eyebrows, fear slowly tainting her hope.

"Take care of yourself, Emmeline" I said.

I saw the moment I crushed her hopes cross her face. I'd done it only too many times before not to recognize her soul writhing behind her eyes. I felt my own heart shrink at the sight, but there was no other way about it so I finally turned to leave.

"So that's it then?" she asked, choking on her tears as she fought to sound angrier than she did hurt. "You just leave, just like that, and never come back?"

I was tempted to turn around and let her know I wouldn't be the first to be guilty of that, but I kept walking instead. I wanted to leave on good terms, and there were too many unresolved moments between her and I that would not be solved tonight if I stopped to humor her reproaches.

"Sirius!" she cried.

I took a deep breath to calm the fighting impulses within me. As much as I didn't want to argue, I didn't want my last memory of her to be of her crying my name out in scorn so I stopped for a moment.

I waited a second and when she didn't respond, I looked over my shoulder at her. She was scowling, and holding her arms tightly crossed in front of her. But she also remained stubborn and unmoving.

As I walked away I tried to shake off the bitterness I was starting to feel. Maybe I'd had too much hope coming to her house. Maybe I'd allowed myself to believe something would change. Yes, leaving made the whole ordeal pointless, it was true, but I couldn't help resenting her for not exposing her heart to me once and for all, the way I'd done for her.

"Sirius," she said. The tone of anger in her voice was gone now, replaced with one that sounded more like an imploration.

"Sirius!" she said louder, her voice breaking, and I could feel my resentment fading with the fragile sound of her voice.

"Sirius, wait!"

I was determined not to stop, but the urgency in her voice seized me. Perhaps it was because I heard something new and different in it. Instead of a reproach, what I heard was hopeful resolution.

With the door open in front of me and the wind whipping rain against me, I turned around – partly curious and partly baffled as I saw her marching towards me. My heart seemed to stop beating and even my blood seemed to freeze inside me. Before I could even register what was happening she threw her arms around me, the shawl falling to the floor, and kissed me, full on the mouth. I staggered backwards for a second, stunned, my brain short circuiting, trying to process what was happening. Was I dreaming?

But I couldn't have been because her lips tasted a million times better than they had in my dreams. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me; my heart pounding away in my chest, my head spinning. Everything had stopped making sense, but I didn't care.

She pulled away, grasping the back of my neck and pressing her forehead to mine. "It's always been you for me too."

I smiled and spoke half-way through a laugh of relief, "Really?"

She smiled bashfully back at me but nodded and I pulled her closer again pressing my cheek to hers. "Oh, Emmy…my Emmy…"

"I've been so foolish," she whispered in my ear and I could detect many various emotions intertwining with each short quaver of her voice: regret, relief, timidity...and I smiled, because I loved knowing her, every tiny facet that made up her being, down to the smallest particle. I imagined grain pieces of her scattered across a vast sandy shore, and I would always be able to pick up the ones that made her up, finding short lived victories with each one.

"That's okay, it doesn't matter now," I said pulling my arms from around her and holding her face in my hands. It was surreal…I wondered how this could be. I'd been prepared for the worst; I'd thought the worst had happened! Yet there we stood, the connection between the before and the now was almost a blur in my mind, as if the world had turned and began spinning in the opposite direction and we had been switched into an alternate universe where such things as happy endings were possible.

But then the wind and rain chilled my body through as reality crashed down all around me once more. I felt my face fall as I realized this was anything but a happy ending.

"What's wrong?" she asked noticing the sudden look of despair on my face.

"I have to go."

"No, you don't!" she urged. "You can't!"

For a moment, part of me felt like it would've been better if she hadn't felt the same way at all. I realized how much harder it would be to walk away from her now. I almost scoffed out loud at the irony and wished that it were tangible so that I could easily rip it apart with my hands. For that short moment I battled with myself not to curse the only thing I'd ever truly wanted.

"It's not that simple, Em…I have to do this."

"What is it? I'll come with you!" she replied eagerly, standing up straighter as if about to run upstairs and pack her bags.

"No, I have to do this alone, I don't want you to be implicated," I explained.

"But—" she persisted, her eyes filling with desperation.

"Just promise me one thing," I said before she could continue and make me even more tempted to agree. "When the news spreads in the morning you won't believe everything you hear."

"It's Voldemort, isn't it; you're going after him yourself! If that's what it is then as a member of the Order I have every right—"

"That's not what it is at all, Emmeline," I interjected firmly. "Please don't ask questions. Promise me you won't do anything rash and that you'll stay right here."

"Sirius…" she said. Tears were once again running down her already tear stained cheeks, her voice was overflowing with anguish. The rain had also begun to come down on her, soaking her silky hair and mingling on her face with her tears. She rested her hands on my chest and grasped the collar of my jacket as if she were holding on to her last sliver of hope. "Please, let me come with you. I can fight! You know I can fight! James and Lily are gone…I don't want to lose you too…not again…"

I felt the invisible hand squeeze my heart again as I fought the urge to concede. Tempting as it was, I couldn't bring her along just because I needed her near me. Even if the idea of life as a runaway with the girl I loved by my side was incredibly appealing, I couldn't do that to her. She had plans…plans I'd never had and I could never bring myself to tear them away from her. No matter how much she cared for me and how much she was willing to give up, I knew her too well to know she could never live happily that way.

And the plans I had made for tonight were still vague even in my own mind. Death seemed to be the only prominent solution and I didn't want her involved in it. Besides, it was impossible to know whether the night would end in my favor at all.

"If I could explain, I would, believe me," I said wiping away the mixture of rain and tears off her cheek with my thumb. "Perhaps later on you'll understand."

She took a shaky breath before asking. "When will I see you again?"

I felt a knot form in my throat. I myself had been avoiding that question from the moment I'd set forth to find her, and now that I was confronted with it, I felt my jaw lock out of my own fear of hearing the answer.

Her eyes seemed to be searching mine for an answer, but I believe she found it in my silence. For a moment I marveled at her ability to read me with such ease. It had always blown me away, and I don't believe I had ever grown completely accustomed to being understood without speaking…or being understood in any way, or at all. But Emmeline had always found a way. And just like before I could feel my heart swelling, expanding just to let a little more of her in.

Without a word she enveloped me in a desperate hug, eager as I was to fill the void of five long years in just a handful of minutes. I buried my face in her hair and inhaled, taking in its scent one last time, wishing I could pocket it and carry it with me.

I pulled back from our embrace and my mouth found hers with ease. And as I tasted her, my memory took me back to a frightful winter night, when we naively believed we could really have it all. It seemed as though her lips would always carry just the slightest bittersweet hint in them. And yet it did nothing to tame the hope in me, that perhaps this might not be the last; that someday our lips might meet in greeting and not just goodbyes.

The instant we broke the kiss, my chest constricted with pain. I opened my eyes to find her sad but resolved, pressing her lips tightly together in order to fight more tears.

"Don't tell anyone I came to see you, all right?" I whispered, pressing my forehead to hers.

She nodded with some difficulty and I thought I saw her almost let her guard down as the corners of her mouth faltered and turned downward for just a second.

I stepped away from her and tried to ignore the moment in which my body was no longer in contact with hers.

And without further hesitation I kept moving, I kept walking; down the three brick steps leading up to her door, down the narrow brick path that commenced at the black iron gate; away from her and the temptation to hold her again. The quicker the goodbye, the better. Or in any case, that's what I was forcing myself to believe.

But the night was growing colder, my breath sharper and my body heavier. Standing at the gate, my fingers wrapped against the cold, wet iron, I allowed myself to glimpse at her once more before completely closing the gate behind me.

She stood, with her arms wrapped around herself, hair clinging to the sides of her face, and a vision of her sixteen year old self crossed my mind, a memory I'd suddenly recovered from within the tangled mess of bitter memories inside my head: Emmeline standing before me under the cover of a dark, sleeping castle, drenched from head to toe in November rain.

She stood firmer, turned her gaze away from me, as if not daring to look at me for the same reason I'd not dared stand beside her one moment longer. Her fingers loosely fumbled with the doorknob and after a deep breath, which I recognized as solemn resignation, she stepped inside and slowly closed the door.

I stared at the white door with its gilded knocker as rain pounded the streets all around me. It fell harder and faster, resounding all around me, hurrying me along. No use fighting my fate now. All that could be lost had been given up. I had nothing left to gamble; nothing to offer in exchange for an umpteenth chance. So at last I turned on the spot and set off to repay my debt.

A/N: So I've been working on this for a long time, and I don't wanna say three years for fear of receiving a, "Really? Three years and that's the best you came up with?" comment. But it is what it is, and I think I've held out long enough, so here it is. I have several other chapters ready, that might need some tweaking, but I guess I'll see how this goes before I go posting the rest :) So leave some reviews and let me know if I've wasted my time, haha! *nervous drop of sweat slowly slides down temple*

Songs I listened to while writing/editing this: "Everything" by Lifehouse, "The Moon" by The Swell Season, and "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles