A/N: Just some Merlin/Gwen friendship, because it's cute.

Arthur hadn't been able to find her, despite being the love of her life who knew her inside and out. Lancelot hadn't been able to find her hiding place, despite how well he knew her. Elyan, her own brother, hadn't found her here. Her maidservant hadn't even been able to find her.

No, it was Merlin, the man who knew people and who knew how to help. He sat down beside her on the steps in the North Tower, silently wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Cold up here," was all he said, ignoring the tears that were gushing from her eyes and down her dark face.

She leaned into him, glad of his presence. "How did you find me?"

"I read your mind."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry I ran out on the meeting. I shouldn't have done that… I'm sure I worried Arthur." She wiped the salt water away from her face and determined to stop crying.

"Don't worry about it. Do you want to talk about it?" Merlin's voice was warm and soothing, reminding her of a time long ago, when she had been sick… Only it hadn't been Merlin then…

She would've shrugged, but that would have made it seem to Merlin that she was trying to get out of his grasp, and she didn't want him to let go. He was comforting to hold onto.

"Being Queen… it's hard. But that sounds selfish and childish; don't tell anyone I said that."

"Ah, is that it?" The Court Sorcerer seemed to look through her with those blue, friendly eyes.

"Well…" she paused. "Partly." She felt tears coming again and tried to blink them back. "It's just… That maidservant is so not talkative, and I'm busy all day, and Arthur was angry earlier, and I think I hurt Lancelot's feelings, and…"

He cut her off, softly but firmly, his mouth near her ear. "Gwen, we can talk about that if you want, but wouldn't you rather tell me what's really bothering you?"

She stopped, and this time the tears came. She didn't try to stop them as they spilled from her brown eyes. Gwen turned slightly to look at Merlin, who look so open and sympathetic, and before she knew it she choked out the truth: "Sometimes… I… still miss my… my father. Merlin, I want my father back. I want him back."

Weeping, she buried her face in his shoulder, and Merlin held her close and stroked her curls; the coils had come out of her delicate, intricate bun when she had run wildly down the halls and up the stairs. There wasn't much he could say. He knew how she felt; he'd lost people too. And all words were pointless… Words about how much others loved her, words of solace; they were all no good. Because they wouldn't bring the lost back to life.

He hugged her and let her cry. "I know you do, Gwen. I know."