Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Just to make sure you know.

It was going to be a trap, of course, but he had to go. It was dark, late night dark, because the bright full moon was hidden behind ominous clouds. His breath puffed out like comic-book speech bubbles, disappearing with every inhale. He didn't mind the cold; he was used to it and he was dressed warmly. It had been colder yesterday anyway. As he wandered through the alleys, a lone rat in huge maze, he let out an involuntary yawn. His double life was taking its toll on him.

He uncurled a gloved fist so he could reexamine the crumpled invitation. It was just like the Joker to write this – it was in purple crayon with sloppy, hard to read letters. It instructed him to go to a certain intersection of two alleys to find him. He snorted; it was going to be too easy.

Nevertheless, he had shown up early to the party to make sure nothing out of the ordinary was going on. He looked up, trying to find a stable spot on the rotting, dying buildings to grapple up. Finding a patch of bricks that had their mortar still intact, he used his grapple gun to reach the top, the only evidence a small cloud of brick dust. The edge of the building overlooked the designated alley. He dropped to his belly, not caring how much his armor got scratched up. He combat-crawled to the edge, so only his eyes up were visible. No one ever looked up, anyway.

The clown was there in the center of the alley, looking rather smug with himself. But he was by himself-no expendables. He was whistling to himself, an upbeat, cheery tune that sounded evil in the quiet gloom. He gathered himself up, crouching now, and prepared to jump down and end it right there. He very nearly jumped and had to scrabble to get back up; he had seen another shadow move behind the Joker.

The starved, scarred, dirty body and toxin-filled needles were unmistakable. The Scarecrow began pacing nervously, obviously not pleased with the idea of being here. Batman released a pent-up breath and it hissed from behind clenched teeth. He had narrowly avoided being ambushed. He shuddered at the thought of the fear gas; he didn't enjoy its side effects. Not that anyone would, exactly, except maybe the Scarecrow himself.

"Are you sure he's coming?" the Scarecrow hissed, looking furtively into the darkness. He realized it was probably really dark without night vision –the perfect cover for him. He definitely had the upper hand here.

"Anytime now," the Joker hummed, rocking on the balls of his feet. He seemed completely unconcerned with his lack of sight. He couldn't care less if he was caught or not. "Go hide of something. Be useful." Scarecrow rolled his eyes and shambled off behind a corner halfway down the alley. A smile touched Batman's lips as he prepared to jump again, a very rare sight.

With a running leap and a spray of rubble, he touched down silently at the end of the alley, the opposite end to the Joker. Judging by where Crane had hidden, he would no doubt slip out and sneak up behind him. He strode silently through the alleyway completely at ease. He could see the Joker clearly, but he knew the clown couldn't see him yet. He decided to play it up to avoid suspicion.

"What do you want, Joker?" he growled, and the lone, hunched figure grinned.

"Bats? So glad you could make it!" he shouted, shoving his hands into his pockets. Batman knew that was where he kept his lethal knives. "I just wanted a, uh, you know, a talk." Batman scoffed, which made the Joker chuckle. Batman passed the halfway mark and heard the slightest shuffle of bare feet behind him. They tiny smile was back –everything was going according to plan.

"Well then, talk," he said, honestly interested. He stopped a foot from the Joker, within arms' length. Anyone not used to the Joker would have been knocked out by his stench. It would be a simple matter of stretching his arm out, and the Clown Prince of Crime would be his.

"Well, I just wanted to do some catching up," he began, the ever-present smile frozen on his face, "and I was just thinking about you." Batman raised an eyebrow, suddenly skeptical. "Ya know, Bats, we see each other on a regular basis, yet you and I are strangers." Batman chuckled a little; it was true.

"So what does that have to do with anything?" Batman questioned.

"You didn't let me finish," he retorted, indignant. "But nothing. I was just trying to break the news to you gently. You see, I have big plans for the next week, so you," he paused pointing a purple finger at the Dark Knight's chest, "need to stay out of things for a while."

"And how do you expect to make me do that?" Batman asked, amused. He could almost smell Crane now, he was so close. The soft, shuffling footsteps suddenly turned into a flurry of loud, running ones, and Batman reacted quickly. The Joker had no time to react as he grabbed him by the vest and almost flung him with the force and speed of the turn. The clown was then in between Batman and the Scarecrow, and was therefore the one now impaled on Crane's needles.

The Joker nearly collapsed in a fit of giggles and Crane hurriedly yanked the syringes out of his back. It wasn't a deep puncture, but it had been enough to empty most of the fluids contained in the glove, which was refilled slowly from a reserve tank. The only sounds for a few seconds were the sloshing of the orange liquid and the hysterical laughter. Batman released the Joker, who in turn melted to the ground. Batman and Scarecrow exchanged glances over his currently neutralized form. No one really knew what to do; Batman was torn between helping and watching.

After a few more seconds of hysterics, the clown pushed himself up, grunting with the effort. He stumbled like a drunkard, and had to resort to leaning against the Scarecrow for support.

"Good thing…I'm not afraid of anything, right?" he choked out, his eyes slightly glassy. "The distortions are a pain though, that's no joke." The Scarecrow looked incredibly nervous, almost terrified. The Joker blinked a few times to clear his clouded vision. "Now you, on the other hand," he croaked, looking somewhat cross-eyed at Batman, "are afraid of many things. I think you deserve a double dose for good behavior."

"Uh, Joker, that's not fe-" Scarecrow interrupted, only to be counter-interrupted by the Joker.

"Get him!" Joker ordered, frowning slightly.

"I really shouldn't. It'd be a disaster," Crane began, only to be silenced by a death glare. Batman was following their conversation to the best of his abilities. He knew the Joker wanted Crane to inject him with fear gas, but by Scarecrow's reaction, it didn't seem like it was actually the fear toxins tonight. Maybe something even worse. He was so distracted that his reflexes were too slow to avoid Scarecrow's lunging stab when he finally decided to follow orders. He felt the sharp pain before he realized what had happened.

He jerked away, but it was too late. Scarecrow backed away, an expression close to horror on his face for what he had done. Batman and the Joker squared off, looking each other in the eyes. The Joker had started to quiver ever so slightly, and Batman could feel the shakes coming on. The Joker was the first to fall, hard and on his face. Batman fell to one knee, his brow furrowed in concentration. He could feel himself slipping away. He had been right –it wasn't fear gas. He almost didn't want to know. The last thing he saw before he passed out was the Scarecrow sprinting away without looking back.

"Oh, God," he muttered, "I am so dead!"

(A.N. Thanks for reading this far! If you suffered through it long enough to see this, you deserve a gold star. I'm going to be adding more later. I think. If I can get up enough nerve to actually put up more. You have no idea how much it took for me to put this much on! Leave comments please!)