"That's him," Blaine said, nodding towards Clayton and James's cousin, "The blonde one folding sweaters." He pawed through some jackets that he could care less about, watching the guy.

He was supposed to be pretending to be nervous, but that wasn't too hard. He really was. He was going out into public, serenading a guy, of all things to be doing in public. He prayed that hot girls would stay away from the GAP that day; he wouldn't be able to handle it if people thought he was really gay. It's not like he could tell them it was an act, with Kurt there and everything. Even if Kurt wasn't there, they probably wouldn't believe him anyway.

"I can see the appeal," Kurt said, interrupting his thoughts as always, "That's quite a head of hair."

"His name's Jeremiah," Blaine said, "If he and I got married, the GAP would give me a 50% discount."

Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine saw both Jeff and Wes's heads pop up from where they were casually browsing. Jeff looked disappointed; Wes, however, looked infuriated. Blaine had decided to piss Kurt off by throwing in the 'married' line, and it wasn't in Wes's list of acceptable lines. Kurt, on the other hand, shot him a doubting glance.

Blaine couldn't do this. He didn't have the courage to sing to a guy he didn't know, and pretend he was gay. He didn't have the courage to pretend to be in love, when he never had really been in love before. Sure, he'd had girlfriends, but they were just to pass the time…he hadn't had one since the eighth grade. He started sweating and breathing heavily. He had to get out before it was too late. The rest of the Warblers would understand, wouldn't they?

"This is insane, I don't know what I'm doing…we really haven't gone out on a date…we shouldn't do this." Blaine said, making up excuses on the fly. They sounded pretty convincing, and he started walking out of the store.

"Okay…come on, come on, man up," Kurt said, grabbing him and pushing him towards the counter where Jeremiah was folding sweaters, "You're amazing…he's gonna love you."

Wes was giving Blaine the stink eye…Blaine knew he was in for it. There was no turning back now. He took a deep breath, and mustered up the courage to give Wes a nod, his cue to start everyone off. During the intro, Blaine made his way over to Jeremiah. Jeremiah was totally in on the plan, but it was up to him to play the role well, to look like he hadn't seen it coming. All Blaine had to do was follow him around the store and dance a little: pretty easy. Of course, he'd jump on some furniture too; that was Blaine's favorite part. Jumping on furniture was the best part of a performance, when convenient.

"Does she want me to carry her home, now? So does she want me to buy her things?" Blaine sang, picking up a sick pair of pink sunglasses and putting them on. He promised himself he'd buy them sometime.

Soon, he was singing face-to-face with Jeremiah. If it got more intimate, he'd probably die from embarrassment.

"Baby girl, you just shh," he sang, looking straight at Jeremiah as he stood on a circular display, the Warblers spinning him around, "That makes you my equivalent."

At that moment, he really wanted to bust out laughing. Jeremiah looked like he was about to start kissing Blaine madly, which was completely ironic. Kurt, on the other hand, looked downright shocked, wearing the flustered expression that Blaine had so carefully memorized by now. He was making both of them swoon, which was both surprising, yet not at the same time.

Blaine noticed as he chased Jeremiah around again that Kurt couldn't take his eyes off of him. This should have bothered him, but instead ignited a foolish pride. He was making Kurt Hummel's heart cry out for him, and that was amazing to him. He could twist it and make Kurt swoon, just with a sly smile and a song. That was something he was going to have to use more often.

Blaine found it easier to perform after that. He was right in front of the cash register, where Jeremiah stood, yet he wasn't intimidated; he was cockier. Now that he'd seen the look on Jeremiah's face, he knew that it would be him in the end who'd look like more of a man, not Jeremiah. So, naturally, he teased a bit. He smiled more charmingly and danced a bit more, just to play around. Because that's what Blaine did: he played around and twisted people, just to have a little fun. It wasn't cruel or sick, just a bit of fun, right?

He ended off dramatically by jumping off a display table, grabbing some socks, and power sliding right in front of the cash register where Jeremiah was standing. He held up the socks and grinned at Jeremiah's failed attempts to conceal his interest.

No thank you, Blaine thought towards Jeremiah as the shoppers clapped enthusiastically for the Warblers, I've already got one after me, and he's a hell of a lot hotter than you are.

Wait…had he really just thought that?

"Was it too much?"

Blaine asked the question as he and Kurt sat on a bench outside in the chilly February air. He had to follow up with the plan, which included a public rejection from Jeremiah, right in front of Kurt. Kurt needed to see it with his own eyes, the Kouncil had decided.

"Yeah, it was too much." Blaine said after Kurt eyeing him and an awkward silence.

Finally, Jeremiah walked out and Blaine groaned eternally. He hadn't exactly gotten to talk with him before, so neither guy had an idea of what they were doing. There was a very general goal, and they somehow needed to get there. Thankfully, James had mentioned that Jeremiah was an actor, so Blaine prayed that he was good at improvisation.

"Jeremiah!" he called, playing up the hopeless romantic part again. "Hey!"

"What the hell were you doing?" Jeremiah asked, staring at him intensely.

"What?" Blaine asked innocently, grinning.

"I just got fired," Jeremiah said, "You can't just bust a groove in the middle of somebody else's workplace."

"But they loved it," Blaine said, still grinning.

"Well, my boss didn't," Jeremiah said, "Neither did I."

That douchebag. Yeah, he might have been acting, but still. Blaine was pretty pissed off. Don't lie to me, he thought angrily, You were eyeing me the entire time, so shut the hell up. However, He needed to stay in character, so he turned the anger into fake hurt.

"No one here knows I'm gay." Jeremiah said quietly.

Psh, Blaine thought, Your hair gives it away, dude. You're as straight as I am gay.

"Can I be honest?" Kurt piped up (shut up, shut up, shut up, Blaine was mentally yelling) "Just with the hair, I think they do."

BURN. Blaine promised himself he'd high five Kurt for that one someday.

"Blaine," Jeremiah continued, pretending not to have taken that burn to heart, "Let's just be clear here. You and I got coffee twice…we're not dating."

So not only was he being a total douche, he was making Blaine look like an idiot. To say he wanted to slap Jeremiah senseless would be a complete understatement.

"If we were, I'd get arrested," Jeremiah added, "Because you're underage."

He pat Blaine on the shoulder, and Blaine wanted to kick his ass. He held back a smile, and Blaine wanted to punch it off his sorry face. Jerk.

Blaine looked back at Kurt, who just looked sorry for him.

Of course, there was the inevitable follow-up. Blaine had to be the bitter, nasty guy that Kurt would fall out of love with. IT was the second part to the GAP Attack, which would reinforce the whole "DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ME" plea.

"Ugh…don't they have anything in here that isn't covered with stupid little hearts?" he asked, disgusted, looking at a couple of mugs,"Gross."

"Well, you've certainly changed your tune." Kurt said, sounding annoyed.

"I'm NOT GAY." Blaine almost snapped. But then, he realized that Kurt was just talking about his happy-go-lucky love struck attitude versus what he was like now.

"I don't think I've ever made that big a fool of myself," he said, "Which is really saying something, because I've performed at theme parks."

"I just, I just can't believe I made it all up in my head." he said, playing up the heartbroken side.

"Okay," Kurt said, looking seriously sympathetic, though also very skeptical at the same time, "Can I ask you something? Because we've always been completely honest with each other, you and I…we hang out, we sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order…was I supposed to think that was nothing?"

Shit.

Blaine had screwed up big time.

Yeah, he was trying to befriend Kurt. However, he hadn't previously realized HOW MUCH he had befriended Kurt. Now Kurt had thought that they'd…had something together. Blaine had REALLY screwed up. But he had to play it cool, like he didn't know.

"What do you mean?" he asked, playing dumb.

"I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentine's Day was me."

Oh.

Oh no.

Blaine didn't even know what to say for a second. He couldn't even stay in character with that. He tried to formulate words and sentences, but nothing came out. He stood there for a bit, just waiting for his brain to restart.

"Wow," he said, "I really am clueless."

That wasn't a line; it was the solid truth.

"Look, Kurt," Blaine said, "I don't know what I'm doing. I pretend like I do. And, I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is: I've never really been anyone's…boyfriend."

That was all the truth. Blaine decided that he needed to tell Kurt the truth, and let him know that it was all just a scam, and he'd wanted to be friends from the start. He didn't want to get in too deep with this guy, and have more hearts broken in the end, so he decided to call it quits while their friendship was still new. Before he could tell Kurt, though, he was interrupted.

"Me neither." Kurt said softly.

Why?

Why was Kurt so…Kurt?

All thoughts of telling the truth were abandoned. The poor boy had never been anyone's boyfriend, and here Blaine was, crushing his only hope. He needed to find Kurt a man, or at least convince him that Blaine was NOT that man. He wanted Kurt to know that they were just friends. Hopefully, that would get him to back off. Blaine knew that the "just friends" thing peeved girls off all of the time, but it got them to stay away. Hopefully, Kurt worked the same way.

"Let me be really clear about something," he said, the truth coming from deep within his heart, "I really, really care about you. But as you and about 20 other mortified shoppers saw, I'm not very good at romance. I don't want to screw this up."

Kurt looked a little hurt, but managed to smile. How did he do that?

"So, it's just like When Harry Met Sally?" he said, smiling sheepishly.

"But I get to play Meg Ryan." He added, raising an eyebrow as if he wanted Blaine to challenge him. Of course, he didn't.

"Deal," he said, nodding slightly. At least Kurt understood.

Wait a minute.

"Uh…don't they get together in the end?" Blaine asked. He vaguely remembered the movie, but he was sure that was the ending. Kurt simply ignored him, which gave an obvious yes. Blaine sighed.

Kurt ordered the coffee, to Blaine's surprise.

"You know my coffee order." He said, raising his eyebrows.

"You know what?" Kurt asked, once again avoiding the subject, which was an obvious sign of infatuation, "I think I got something for us to do on Valentine's Day."

Blaine sighed, rolling his eyes at the other Warblers as Kurt tested the microphone.

They were at BreadstiX, for what Kurt called the Lonely Hearts Club Dinner. Lots of New Directions members were there, mostly singles, though Blaine saw an Asian couple. Why were Asians always together? Didn't one ever see an Asian and a Caucasian or an Asian and an African American or an Asian and a…

"So, happy Valentine's Day everybody," Kurt said, interrupting his thoughts. The Warblers walked onstage, and he followed. Kurt talked, as usual, blah blah blah…

Woah, Blaine thought, looking at a Latina girl. She was smoking. I'm getting her number, he thought, smiling to himself. Nick saw him staring and kicked him. However, he stared, too. Before Blaine could react, Kurt scurried into place and they started the song: 'Silly Love Songs' by Paul McCartney.

Blaine sang the song; there was nothing interesting there at first. He kept looking at the one girl. She was looking right back at him, obviously interested. Blaine walked around the restaurant a bit, or at least that back corner. He passed Kurt's former teammates, wondering who they were to Kurt, what they thought of Kurt, if they'd ever sang with Kurt, and if they had, what song they'd sung, or how they'd met Kurt...

He wasn't sure why he cared what their relationships to Kurt were. It was kind of pointless; why did he need to know?

Blaine moved around a lot during the song; however, he kept finding himself next to Kurt. He's smile at Kurt, who'd smile right back at him. It was simple, and he was sure that it was just friendship, which made him happy.

When the Warblers mingled in the crowd during the bridge, Blaine eyed the girl he'd had his eyes on, who'd later gotten a name, provided by Wes's hand, containing her name and number: Santana Lopez. Wes hugged her, and Blaine immediately thought: off-limits.

Shame, she was hot.

At least I still have Kurt, he thought, smiling.

Wait…where had that come from?