"Bye, Merlin! Remember my new mobile won't come until after I get back, so I'll call you from the hotel," Arthur shouted, the wheels on his luggage squeaking and creaking across the floor.

"Mm-hm..." he grunted through a mouth full of toothpaste.

"Come kiss me off?"

Shuffling towards the front door of their flat, Merlin took the toothbrush out long enough to press his foamy lips against his boyfriend's cheek. "Bye."

"Ugh. Merlin. That's disgusting," Arthur drawled affectionately, wiping his cheek clean with a tissue. "You lazy sod."

Merlin padded into the kitchen, spitting into the sink. "You're leaving ungodly early. I'm not awake."

"Merlin. It's 7 A.M."

"See."

With a shake of his head, Arthur smiled and kissed his cheek, hand on the doorknob. "I'll see you soon. Don't forget to pick me up at the airport for my flight back. Love you."

"Mm. Have a nice drive there. Love you too," Merlin mumbled off-handedly as Arthur bustled out the door.

The third day of Arthur's absence, Merlin was bored. The telly held no attraction for him since Arthur wasn't there to nestle into and poke fun at the posh people. While Arthur pretended he wasn't one of them. So he spent a lot of time on the phone with Gwen, his mum, Gwaine, and even Morgana. And, of course, he spent as much time as he could on the phone with Arthur when he called from the hotel in northern Scotland, in between his business deals. Or whatever important work he swore he was doing.

At work, he volunteered for projects that would keep him later, counting the days until Arthur was home again. Their flat was too big for just him alone.

Rearranging the items on his desk yet again, Merlin smiled. Arthur was coming home this afternoon. And despite Arthur's reprimand, he would not forget to pick him up. He answered a few emails, checked his watch repeatedly, kept himself updated on the footie scores, and checked his watch some more until it was socially acceptable to claim a lunch break. Maybe Gwen would get a Chinese with him. He stood, grabbed his jacket, and double-checked his wallet. Low on cash. He'd have to stop at an ATM so he'd be able to tip the cab driver alter.

"Gwen," he said, stopping by her desk. "Ming Po's?"

"Lunch?" She scrunched her nose. "A bit early, isn't it?"

"Well. Yeah. But I'm hungry. And...restless."

She grinned. "Arthur coming home today, hm?"

"That might have something to do with it," he said archly.

Laughing, Gwen stood. "Just let me grab my jacket." She frowned towards the sudden commotion in the breakroom.

Merlin shrugged and waited while Gwen shouldered her purse. "Shall w—"

"—lin! Merlin! Shit."

They both turned at the white-faced employee, sprinting at them.

"What's the matter?" Merlin asked, steadying Freya with a hand.

"Merlin... Arthur. His plane... British Air?"

"Yesss..."

"From Scotland?"

"Yes..." Merlin repeated, voice sounding far away in his own ears.

Freya looked sick. "C-come..."

But Merlin was already shoving by her, sprinting to the breakroom. Shouldering people away, he stopped when he came face to face with the telly. Whispers of his name echoed around him, hands reaching out to grip his shoulder, arm, pat his back.

"Merlin. Merlin. Merlin! Merlin!" Gwen's voice finally cut through his stupor as he stared at the flaming wreckage of the plane that was supposed to be landing shortly in London.

"Oh God..." he moaned, repeating the words over and over, transfixed, until Gwen pulled him away and into her arms.

"Everyone back away! Give him space," she ordered. "Merlin, darling... Are you..."

He leaned limply against her, still muttering 'oh God' under his breath.

"What's the matter?" someone asked.

"Merlin's boyfriend, Arthur, was on that plane," he heard Freya explain.

"Shit..."

Merlin sagged to the floor, wailing filling the small room.

"Freya, run and let Percy know I'm going to take Merlin home, will you?"

Freya took off and Gwen knelt next to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Come on, love. Can you... Merlin... Can you—Merlin, stop shrieking please, dear. Can you stand? Someone grab his mobile from his office, will you? I can hear it ringing. Freya—he said okay? Of course he did. If he didn't, he would be an arse. Ah, oh. His mum. Merlin, can you talk to your mum?"

Merlin took his mobile numbly, sobbing and keening.

"Merlin? Merlin, is that you?"

"Merlin," Gwen said softly, "the phone's upside down..."

"M-mum... he's..."

"Oh my darling boy..." Hunith's soft voice made him shake harder, so Gwen took his mobile back and explained, they were going to get him home. No, no need for her to rush over, but Merlin was a wreck. Lance was coming to bring Merlin home with Gwen. Yes, Freya called. Goodbye, Hunith, we'll see you soon.

"Gwen!"

"Lance, oh thank God!" Gwen's voice finally broke and she sobbed once when Lance hugged her tightly. Everyone else had mostly cleared out, so Lance was able to sling Merlin's arm over his shoulder and, between him and Gwen, they were able to get Merlin to his feet. Like a parade through crowded streets, Lance manoeuvred Merlin from the office and down to his car. And then eventually to Merlin's bed.

The bed creaked as they sat on the edge. He could feel their stares as he shook violently afresh with sobs, burying his face in Arthur's pillow.

"Oh Merlin..." Gwen said softly.

Lance's big hand came down on his shoulder. "Mate..."

"Don't touch me!" he screamed, flinching away from Lance's comforting hand. "Get out! Leave me—just l-leave me al...alone...!" He cried into the pillow, curling tighter.

They were silent a moment and then his door shut, footsteps retreating to the sitting room.

Inconsolable, he cried himself to sleep.

Emerging the next day, he found Gwen ensconced in Lance's arms on his couch, daylight streaming in cheerily. He stared a minute or two before the tears streamed down his cheeks as all the memories of the times Merlin and Arthur had fallen asleep there similarly ran through his head. And how they never would again.

So he returned to his bed, shutting off his mobile as it rang again. He rolled over to burrow into the duvet that smelled like Arthur, uninterrupted by people who wanted to offer their useless sympathies.

Arthur was dead. Arthur was gone. Arthur was never coming back. Arthur's soft laugh after they'd just made love would never grace his ears again. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur...

He squeezed his eyes shut against more tears and tried not to think about how he'd off-handedly let him walk out the door and how he'd casually said 'I love you' when he'd last hung up the phone.

"Merlin?" Gwen's voice interrupted his foggy sleep.

Merlin tugged the pillow over his head.

"Merlin, your mum is on the phone, love. Breakfast is on the table, and Lance and I have to go. Will you be okay until Gwaine gets here?" Gwen asked softly.

"I just want to be alone," he croaked, closing his eyes to the things that reminded him of Arthur. God, their entire flat... He would have to sort—he choked off a cry.

"Oh—okay. Okay. We'll check in on you later, okay sweetie?"

They left. Leaving Merlin alone in the flat. Alone save for the phone which wouldn't stop ringing. He finally threw back the duvet and shrieked, yanking the cord out of the wall. Huffing, Merlin stared at the breakfast, now cold and soggy, Gwen had left on the table. The eggs were runnier than Arthur made them.

He swiped the dish onto the floor.

Rushing around the apartment, he flipped over photos of Arthur, him and Arthur, frantically sweeping things into drawers, collapsing into a pile of laundry he'd dumped on the floor. He stayed there, surrounding by Arthur's scent. Ignoring the knocks at his door. Ignoring the sound of the bell. The clock. Wrapped in Arthur's scent. Arthur's clothes. Everything was Arthur. But there wasn't an Arthur anymore. He breathed in, wondering how it was he could feel so torn in half. He closed his eyes and violently cried himself to sleep, hoping that maybe the sorrow and pain would leak out with his tears.

"Merlin? Oh God! What happened! Merlin!" Footsteps pounded through the flat until they reached him. "Dear god, Merlin, get up! Are you okay?" Hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him up. Up so he was sitting. Up from slumber.

"Ar..." he blinked, voice rasping out.

"Oh Merlin..."

"Arthur?" He tried again. Reaching out, he gripped Arthur's unshaven face. "You..."

"Look at you... you're a mess," he said gently, carding fingers through his hair.

"Y-you're...d-dead...!" Merlin blubbered.

"I'm here. I'm here, Merlin. I'm alive. It's okay."

"I... I s-saw! The plane!" he wailed, hands fisted in Arthur's shirt.

"I didn't fly! They needed me to stay and extra day to finalise things, so I took a different flight."

Clinging to him like he was a lifeline, Merlin bawled into his shoulder.

"You're a wreck without me... You love me this much?"

Shoving him suddenly, Merlin punched Arthur's arm.

"Ow—"

"That's not funny, Arthur! I thought you were dead! I thought you were gone! You didn't ca-call or... or anything! I didn't know! You didn't tell me, and I th-thought you were d-dead...! I thought! I thought...!"

"Merlin, Merlin! I did call! Your mobile went straight to voicemail and the landline didn't connect—I didn't know how to reach you! You know I'm rubbish at numbers, yours and the number here are the only two I know, so I couldn't reach Gwen or anyone to have them let you know."

Staring at him, Merlin sniffed, feeling his lip quiver. "I shut off my mobile and pulled the phone from the wall..."

"You idiot," Arthur said fondly, his expression tender and wrecked. "I rushed home as soon as I could. Come one. It's alright, darling. You probably haven't eaten since you saw the news, have you."

"I couldn't..."

"It's okay. I'm home now. Safe and sound."

"Don't leave me again!" Merlin cried desperately, tears hot in his eyes again.

"Relax. I'm just going to get a tissue. Your face is a mess. Actually, let's get you a shower, yeah?"

Nodding and allowing himself to be lead to the bathroom, he wiped his face on his sleeve. "Arthur. Arthur, I'm never letting you go."

Smiling warmly, indulgently, Arthur undressed him and pushed him into the shower once the water was warm. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Come... Come in."

Arthur smiled and undressed, following Merlin into the soothing streams. "I've got you. Careful there."

"I love you," Merlin said fiercely, hugging Arthur to his chest so there was no space between them.

"I love you too."

"Always."

"Yes, always."

"Don't let me forget to tell you. Always. No matter what."

"I'll remind you daily."

"And you're never going anywhere without me. That way, if you die, at least I'll die with you."

"Merlin..."

"No!" Squeezing his arms tighter, Merlin buried his face in Arthur's damp hair. "You don't understand. This was hell, Arthur! Hell! I can't... I can't live without you." His voice faded to a whisper. "I can't be without you. It's like... half of me is ripped away."

"Shh..." Arthur rubbed his hands up and down Merlin's back. "I've got you. I won't leave you. I promise."

"Promise."

"On my life."

"I love you."

"I love you too."