A/N: This is a parody, everyone. A parody. Because when things get bad you laugh.

Disclaimer: Uglies Trilogy belongs to Scott Westerfield.

-Hello My Name Is: David's Eyebrow-

Hi everyone. I'm David's eyebrow scar. I don't know if you know me, but I make him dashingly handsome. People wonder about me all the time, but I don't tell them how I got here. It's a mystery. It's not just one not meant to be solved.

But to tell you the truth, I've seen some crazy things. There was that pretty girl David called Shay that he sort of had a thing for. Trust me. I know. And then there was that pretty girl's best friend, I think her name is Tally. David kind of had a thing for her too. Sometimes, I don't even know how David does it. And then there was that one girl at New Smoke that David just….yeah. But before you get judgmental, David has done some good things. But I'm his eyebrow scar, so what do I know? She lives with us now. Tally, that is. In the wild, we're fighting the system together.

But enough about David's girl troubles, let's talk about me. I am the eyebrow scar and even though my existence is supposed to be a Big Bad Secret, I think I'll tell you just to change the subject. Just a little bit won't hurt right?

I'm subtle like that.

Anyway, the thing is, I don't remember a lot about my existence from before my formation. You know, the blood clotting, the platelets coming together under a gushing wound and all that. The falling scab, the new skin healing and shiny in all its mottled purple glory, I was made from all that. Now I'm bone-white and I cut a pretty dashing figure against David's eyebrow and a bit of his forehead. Not to discredit David's bones or anything.

I was formed (born?) on a sunny afternoon in at the edges of Smoke. There had been a feast that day.

A successful hunt had been executed. Not bad for a bunch of city kids right? So David and everyone in Smoke were supposedly having a celebration. David had gotten excited and decided that he wanted to kill something too. Now, don't look like that, it was going to kill it for food not to just get bloody, and he was going to bring it back and help feed the hungry people that he knew.

Good kid right?

Yeah, so he snuck out of camp after the full meal that he ate. He was planning on catching a rabbit or something and bringing it back for his mother to see.

He had run out all the way to the farthest point that the bon fire the Smoke had set up could be seen. He didn't know how to read the stars yet. He heard something rustle and he managed to avoid it with a jump.

David, like the little boy he was, ran towards the rustle right after he jumped up. He unsheathed the knife he brought with him. He ran too fast and couldn't see the forest floor and fell with the knife coming out towards him. It cut right into his skin and skimmed against bone and that was how I was formed.

But how I really came to be comes a little after that.

See, I could have gotten stitches or something, but David's mother didn't know how to do that yet. At least, she didn't have the needles and the thread she would need to sew my former self up. So when he came back to camp with blood all down his face all she could do was hold a cloth over me and hold him tight.

I got infected later. But things got better and David grew and healed and now he is a stunning hit with the ladies with my help.

Of course.

This is the end of the super secret story of David's eyebrow. Since we've gotten to know each other so well now, please, call me DE. It's a nickname.