A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to legitdegrassi; she is incredibly a loyal reviewer and a really nice person.

Also dedicated to JDDCdaner1497; she indeed is very kind and an amazing writer.

Dreamgreen16; has been a loyal reviewer from the start. She has given me countless ideas for stories and really helped me out. This is of course a dedication to you.

Last but not least, to Degrassibear; I love her writing and she is there for me when I need to talk.

I do not own Degrassi.

Clare's POV:

Why does love hurt so badly? It makes you do crazy insane things. It makes your heart beat to a different drum whenever you see the person or thing you love. It can make you happy or it can break you completely. In my case I was broken.

Dear Jake,

It has been one year ago today you had passed. I don't know if I ever told you this enough, but I love you. I will always love you. Shattered, torn and broken. I am of all, but mostly I am lost without your sweet gestures and kind words. I miss your soft kisses and warm hugs. I miss the way when I was thinking about you, you would call me. It was like we were on our own wave lengths of connections. We were in our own world. Just you and I against the world. I liked those odds. When you passed away I thought I would never be okay again. I cried for days, hours minutes and seconds. I was angry with God for taking the person I loved the most away from me. Mostly I was angry with myself for not being there that night. I think a lot to myself, if I was in the car too, maybe the drunk driver would have hit me instead of you. I would give my life for you. Now and forever your love and memory will live in my heart.

I love you so much,

Love,

Clare Diane Edwards.

I took the letter and I rolled it up tightly and tied it to the balloon string, I looked up at the blue sky and I released the letter to the heavens. I watched the dark blue balloon float up into the sky; higher and higher it went. It had been a year ago, and I still felt a gaping hole left into my heart from where Jake belonged. He will now and always have a place there, but I needed to move on. I am now twenty years old, and ready to find myself again.

Two weeks later:

I walked into my college literature class a few minutes early. I took a seat in the back of the class, and I pulled out all of my necessary materials. All set up for when class starts, I lied my head down on the cold desk and I closed my eyes and waited for the obnoxiously loud bell to ring. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew a hand was on my shoulder shaking me gently. I opened my eyes slowly and came face to face with a person from my past.

Elijah Goldsworthy. He was just as handsome as he was when we were in high school. He was my first real love. His eyes sparkled that jaded green they did when we first met; when he was healthy. I must have been starring at him for a little too long because he smirked and said,

"I know I'm good looking, but there is no need to stare." It was strange because I didn't blush like I used to, I instantly burst into tears and got up from my desk. I rushed out the heavy wooden door and I rushed down the empty college hallways.

I ran through the court yard and found an empty bench to sit onto. I curled up into the fetal position and started to bawl my eyes out. Eli made me think of Jake. After all, I started to date Jake a few weeks after Eli and I broke up. Even though I had harbored feelings for Eli for a long time after the break up, Jake made me forget. He allowed me to forget the bad times and live in the good ones.

I lay on the bench for a few minutes until I head feet patter across the damp grass and over to the bench I was laying on. I closed my eyes tighter and let the sudden down pour of rain drench my body as I continued to shake and cry. The rain somehow felt like it was a comfort blanket; a way for Jake and me to keep connected even after he was gone.

I felt a hand press on my bare shoulder. I opened my eyes slightly and I saw Eli standing in front of me. He had a look of concern, a look of worry in his eyes. I blinked at him for a minute before saying,

"The sky is crying." Eli looked at me and then said,

"As are you." There was no point in trying to hide my tears from him.

"Yeah I guess I am." I said before turning from my fetal curled up position to turn on to my back. I let my arms and legs fall off the bench and I let only my torso remain on the bench. I let the cold rain water splash across my face as I continued to cry out my emotions.

It felt like hours that I had lied like that. In all reality it had only been a few minutes. I think out of concern for an old beau or friend, Eli picked me up bridal style and carried me into an unfamiliar dorm. He lied me down on an all-black bed, and left the room. He came back a minute later with a large t-shirt and a pair of navy blue boxers and a blood red towel. At that point I was shaking. Eli must have noticed, and he wrapped the towel around my fragile body. I shook out of exhaustion and being cold.

I dried off with the towel Eli gave me, and I put on the clothes he had brought out. I came out of the bathroom and found Eli sitting on his bed. He smiled at me. When he noticed how distraught I was, he got up from the bed and cradled my broken hallow shell of a body. I now knew how he felt when Julia died.

"I missed you." I whispered to Eli. He broke from the gentle hug and said,

"I missed you too." I looked into his eyes and for a minute I saw Jake.

"Jake died." I whispered so lowly that I felt like only I had heard it. Apparently Eli had heard it too, because he broke completely from the hug and he placed his hands gently on my shoulders and lowered his forehead to mine. He starred with his intense green eyes into my icy blues eyes.

"I am so sorry Clare. I saw how much you two loved each other when you got together. I know exactly how you feel." And he did too.

"He was killed by a drunk driver." I said in a near monotone, trying my hardest to not cry again. Eli's eyes peered into mine once more and he said,

"Why do all the good ones die that way?" I let a small smile slip, and I lunged toward him again and I hugged him tightly. He and I held our tight embrace until we broke apart from the sound of the door opening.

I looked at the opening of the door and saw Adam standing there. He smiled widely and ran over to hug me. I squealed and hugged him back. It felt amazing to be back with the misfits. Even though it had been five years, it only felt like five minutes of being apart.

"It is so nice to see you, Clare." Adam said to me. I looked at him for a minute. I took a mental image of how much he had changed. He was gruff and manly now. He was no longer Gracie he was just Adam now.

"It's amazing to see you too, Adam. I missed you and Eli so much." Eli stood to the side and watched Adam and I reunite after so long of a time being apart.

"So you got engaged that night, and he went out to go get something to celebrate with, and a drunk drive him at high-impact?" Adam asked. I no longer felt the need to cry, but I didn't feel like talking either. So I nodded a little.

"We are so sorry, Clare. We had no idea." Eli said before hugging me again a little. For the first time in a long time, I felt like someone understood the pain and agony one goes through when they lose a loved one. I didn't understand in high school how Eli felt when Julia died, now I understand better than anyone.

"I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I broke my promise." I whispered shyly in Eli's general direction. Eli lifted up my chin and whispered,

"I forgave you the moment it was said and done." Eli and I smiled at each other and we both heard the front door slam shut. We looked up from our daze and saw Adam was gone. Out of instinct or maybe just insanity I leaned up a little and I kissed Eli on the lips gently.

It felt like high school all over again. It felt like the Romeo and Juliet film project all over again. It felt amazing all over again. It was a feeling I had lacked for a long time. Jake's warm touch and soft kisses were beyond expectation, but Eli's were beyond words. Jake's were filled with love and care. Eli's were filled with compassion, mystery and all together true love.

It was at that moment that I had realized that I had loved Jake, but my heart had always, now, forever and from this day forward will belong to Eli Goldsworthy.

Jake's POV: In heaven.

I peered down from the clouds and saw a sight that made me smile. There was my beautiful fallen angel. She was radiant; she smiled for the first time today in a year. Her smile captivated me then, and it still does to this day. I may be gone now, and I will never be with her again, but she deserves to be happy again. Truly happy. Only one person I knew of could do that. The person whom lived loved and dormant in her heart since she was fifteen. None other than Elijah Goldsworthy.

It was like reading a story book down upon them. They will live happy and forever together; where they both belong; on earth.

A/N: It has been forever since I have written. To be honest, I came up with this concept from a friend. She and I were talking on the phone and she told me about her first love and how she found her way back to him after a year of being apart. I obviously exaggerated her story and added my own concepts and came up with an Eclare story and a little Cake in it as well. I am perfectly aware that most of you hate Cake, but I loved the concept of just being on Clare's POV and having Jake reunite a broken love. Anyway, I would really appreciate some review please. Thank you all so much, reviews or not, I appreciate you all.