10 Rules for Finding Mr Right

Chapter 10 - Final

I started missing Riku's weight on me immediately after he rolled over to lie on his back beside me. I wanted to cuddle with him, exchange loving after-sex kisses with him, hell, I just wanted to touch him.

But I knew we had already fallen back into the friend zone. Now, we were just Sora and his best friend Riku again, and though it sounded so innocent when put like that, the slippery wetness of the lube inside me and the used condom in the trashcan twisted it into something dirty, something forbidden.

I had been right when I suspected that I'd only feel worse if I did it with him. I wanted to be brave and selfless enough to act like those sad and tragic heroes of the romance novels I loved so much, who said they'd be happy to just be close to the one they loved even though they knew they could never have them.

Maybe there was something wrong with me, or maybe people like that only existed in books and movies, but the one thing I knew was that when I would finally step out of Riku's apartment, I would never see Riku again. Just looking at him now made me want to throw up from pure sadness, and then suffocate in my own vomit.

What a way to die.

I had to disappear, maybe go back to Destiny Islands. I could spend a year or so visiting my parents and relatives, and take a vacation from dating. Then I could come back, and by then Riku would have probably forgot about me. I would avoid Wonderland for the rest of my life and Riku and I would never cross paths again.

Sounded like a plan.

Riku let out a sigh beside me, covering his eyes with his hands and making a troubled face.

Ha. His expression looked just like mine must have looked.

"You regret it," I stated, smiling bitterly.
"No. No, I… I thought I would," Riku said, frowning.

Regret. Did I regret it? Funny enough, I didn't regret it either. I felt worse now than I did before, yes, but even if I got my hands on a magical time rewinding tool thingy, I'm not so sure I'd use it. If this didn't happen, I'd always be thinking what it would have been like, right?

"I'm sorry I cried," I whispered. Riku rolled onto his side, using his arm as a pillow.
"It's fine. You were with Leon for a long time, I can't imagine what it would feel like to get dumped like that," Riku said.

Oh my god, Leon. I totally forgot about him. Of course Riku would think he's the reason I was crying.

I really am a jerk, breaking up with someone who obviously loved me, then jumping in bed with some other guy the very same evening, and not even thinking about him at all. Who did that? Me, obviously, my traitorous mind whispered.

"I didn't cry because of Leon."

Wait.

Who said that? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me. Did I lose the filter that separated the things I wanted to say from the things that should stay inside my head somewhere in the middle of having sex? What should I answer if Riku asked me to clarify?

Oh, just thought about my favourite grandma that died last spring.

Ew, during sex?

I just don't know, I've been having these mood swings…

What are you, pregnant?

It just felt so good.

Wow, right, are you an idiot?

I sighed and bit my lip as I watched Riku search my face for something. Here it comes.

"Well, then, why did you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. When Riku looked at me like that, there was no way I wouldn't spill the truth.

"Because I'm in love with someone."

Who the fudgecakes is remote controlling my mouth?

"Someone… who's not Leon?" Riku asked, and I could feel his eyes boring holes into me. I guess he got his answer from the way I flinched, because his next question was "Who?"

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. If I didn't tell him, I'd just leave and go visit Destiny Islands so that I'd never see Riku again. If I told him, he'd yell at me, kick me out, and I'd still leave for Destiny Islands and never see him again.

So what's the difference? Sure, telling him meant I'd have to suffer through his rejection, but at least he'd maybe feel even a little bad when I disappeared, knowing he's why I left.

Wow. Aren't I a good friend.

"Sora?" I heard him say and opened my eyes. He was looking at me expectantly, before reaching out to stroke my cheek. "You're crying."

Was I?

"I'm sorry," I sniffled. "I'm so, so sorry!"
"Hey, why are you apologizing?" Riku asked. I hid my face, pushing the heels of my hands against my eyes until I saw stars. "Sora, come on, look at me! It can't be that bad. Hey."

I could feel it coming, bursting up my throat and out of my mouth like a nasty vomit, but I was powerless against it. I couldn't stop myself from uttering:

"You. It's you." I let out a sob and added as an afterthought: "I'm sorry."

Riku froze. I didn't dare remove my hands from my face to peek at him, I was too afraid to move, let alone even breathe. 'Get out,' Riku would say. 'Don't ever come near me again.'

I heard Riku sigh, and the bed shifted as the silverette moved. For a while, it was so quiet I could hear my ears ring.

"Get out", Riku said. "Get out and never come back."

"B-but Riku – "

"What did you think would happen? I'd fling myself in your arms and screamed that I loved you too? Just get out."

I scrambled to get up and find my clothes, sobbing, while repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" over and over again like a mantra. Riku said nothing, just stared at me with ice-cold eyes, as if saying "Why are you still here?"

I ran out the door, and was never seen again.

Okay, so that's not what actually happened, but I was prepared for it, my muscles tensed as I prepared to fling myself off the bed.

So, I heard Riku sigh, and the bed shifted as the silverette moved. For a while, it was so quiet I could hear my ears ring.

"Hey", I heard Riku say as he laid a hand on my trembling shoulder. "Look at me, Sora."

I waited a while before obeying, carefully looking into Riku's smiling eyes.

"Say it again. Properly", Riku ordered, making me gulp.
"I love you, Riku", I whispered.

"I have been waiting to hear that since you were in high school."

Wanna repeat that?

"Eh-wha-aee?" I spluttered. Riku smiled at the ridiculous noise I made.

"When you were in high school, you hung out with a boy called Tidus", Riku told. I stared at him. "Didn't you?"

"Y-yeah, but h-how…"

"Ti is my little brother. I saw you a lot at our house", Riku grinned.
"B-brother? A-at your house? But I never saw you!" I cried, appalled.
"Sure you did. I was the weird nerdy brother who wouldn't do anything with his life? Big glasses, cropped hair, always with a black hoodie? Didn't really like to socialize, but you were always nice to me", Riku said, smiling bitterly at the memory.

"Oh yeah, you always had a hood over your eyes, no wonder I couldn't recognize you!" I laughed, but became serious fast. "But why is this the first time I'm hearing this?"

Riku sighed, shuffling his feet under the blanket, brushing my legs with his toes.

"I didn't want you to remember me as the pathetic and weird older brother of your old friend. The wall between my room and Tidus' was really thin so I always heard you joking and laughing. I started to really like you. I knew you were gay, but I myself hadn't told anyone I swung both ways, and I knew I looked awful so I never dared to ask you out."

I bit my lip, trying to stop the smile from spreading on my face. Riku was so cute!

"Oh Riku, I don't care how you looked then or how you look now", I smiled, snuggling against Riku's cool chest. Riku pet my hair for a while.

"Then you appeared in Wonderland after so long and I immediately remembered why I liked you so much. And I started liking you ever more after that."

"Riku!" I squealed.
"But I also have something else to confess…"

oOo

Un-fucking-believable!

What a jerk!

What an absolute asshole!

To think I had been on cloud 9 million when I heard that my unrequited love wasn't unrequited.

And then bam.

I slammed the door to Riku's apartment and sat down in the hallway. I just had to get away from that prick.

Turns out Riku's friendly advice wasn't all that friendly.

"I really don't know anything about any rules for finding the one. I made them up to get you to break up with whoever you were seeing", he had said.

He had been manipulating me all this time.

Zexion had asked Riku for advice after asking me out, and Riku had told him to do exactly like he told me he probably would. That's why I freaked out when everything seemed to go just as Riku predicted.

And that's not all. When Zexion came to ask Riku about why it went wrong, Riku had told him I didn't want to see him.

And Cloud! He'd answered my phone and told him I had just used him to try to make my real boyfriend jealous.

But the thing that hurt me the most was that he'd talked with Leon. Leon hadn't wanted to break up with me. He was acting weird, because he was nervous. He wanted me to move in with him.

To think Riku would just manipulate me into thinking Leon was leaving me – so that I would leave him first.

He did all this, and why?

Because…

Oh.

"I once said that people would do anything to keep the one they love to themselves", Riku had said before I stormed out of his apartment.

It was a weird way to show love, but I guess it was one.

"I just wanted time to make you fall for me, but everyone kept on ruining that!"

And despite all this, it didn't really change the fact that I still loved Riku. Even if I cleared all the misunderstandings with Zexion, Cloud, Leon and who knows who else, I wouldn't want any of them. I only wanted Riku.

If my quest for finding Mr Right ended like this, that was okay.

I had finally found him.

I lifted my hand to knock on Riku's door.

Rule #10:
Forget I ever said anything. You're doing just fine.

The End.

A/N: It's done. Didn't see that coming, did you?

Wow, suffered through an AWFUL writer's block. This has been lying around with just a few paragraphs missing.

Ending stories always makes me go all emotional! Goodbye bartender Riku! Good bye sucker-for-romance Sora! I'll miss you guys...

I thought the ending here was deliciously between "that's so annoying! You didn't finish it!" and "Well, I can live with that", just like in Flight Cancelled.

I'm so tired I'm probably gonna end this here. Been sick on and off for a month now and it really tires me out. So, leave a review, won't you, dear?

Thanks for sticking with me until the end! Love you lots!
-Lumeton