Hi! We're the authors! And this is what happens when you take two teenage girls hyped up on sugar late at night (and bored) and get them to write a story…ah, the joys of summer vacation!

Disclaimer: Emmett and his duckies do not belong to us : (

The Problem with High Blood Sugar!

Emmett was bored. All the best fics start this way, and it seemed to the authors to be as good a place to start as any. After all, anyone knows that when Emmett is bored, bad things happen.

Emmett decided that the best way to combat his boredness would be to go bother his goddess of a wife, Rosalie.

"Rosyyyyyyyyyyyyy" He whined, knowing that she could hear him. "I'm booooooooooooooooooored"

Rosalie stopped admiring herself in the mirror long enough to quake in horror. A bored Emmett was never a good sign. Never!

"Why don't you go and play with Bella?" She suggested, hoping that at least that would keep him away from the house, and away from the wrath of indignant mother vampires.

"Bella's booring." Said Emmett pouting. "All she and Edward ever do nowadays is brood and hump each other. Dry humping, mind you, because real sex is obviously beyond Edwards capabilities."

"Well, why don't you play with your rubber duckies?" Rosalie suggested.

"I haven't got enough to play a real game!" He whined.

"You have fifty!" she cried, exasperated. She loved her husband, but he could act like such a baby sometimes. "Well," she added, realizing that he was never going to go away and be bored elsewhere if she didn't think of something to entertain him. "You could always go shopping for new ones!"

"Shopping!" an overexcited blur of pixie ran into the house. "I knew you would say that! I did, I did! Because I can see the future! Did you know I can see the future, Emmett?" She asked, turning to stare at his suddenly delighted face. "Did you? Huh?"

At that point Jasper came in behind her looking slightly out of breath, if that is possible for a vampire."I'm sorry" He explained at the aghast look on Rosalie's face "I didn't know that the deer she drank from had high blood sugar, I'm not that sensitive yet to the differences in animal scent…"

"And Why?" Interjected Rosalie-Ice-Princess. "Did you not, Oh, I don't know, RESTRAIN HER OR SOMETHING!"

"I can't get too close to her" Jasper explained. "I feed off her emotions and get hyper too. Or did you really want to deal with both of us like that?"

At that point Alice and Emmett looked up from their whispered plans and excitedly yelled "Duckies!"

"We're going to go shopping for duckies!" Alice added with a maniacal gleam in her eyes.

Rosalie and jasper exchanged looks, former squabble forgotten. This could not end well…..

Uh oh! This cannot end well! Please review and we'll have more for you soon!