Okay so I really wanted to try a different kind of story then what I usually do, so I decided to write this. It's pretty intense (I hope) and has a lot of drama. There might be some OOC stuff, but this is FANfiction so...

Anyways hope you like the story :D

My name is Jadelyn Amber West, I'm a junior at Hollywood Arts, and I am/was the "it" girl in my school. I had it all, the looks, a hot boyfriend, and talent far beyond my age. But today. I just might have lost it all.

Because today, I ruined my life.

I didn't know why I did it. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to do to it though, I didn't know it'd end up like that.

I walked numbly down the street, as the buildings all seemed to be watching me. They seemed to be closing in on me. Suffocating me. I wanted to get away from it all, I didn't want to be alone anymore where the harrowing solitude threatened to take me under. So I ran. I ran all the way downtown, desperate just to be around people so I could get away from my thoughts. But I couldn't go to the person I longed to. Beck. I knew if I did I would lose all of my self control, letting everything spill out, and I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't.

There were usually two ways people remembered traumatic experiences; either it was all a blur, or it's extremely vivid. Of course with my luck I had the latter. I remembered every detail. Every second. Every emotion that went through my mind. I wanted to forget, but my mind betrayed me and constantly replayed the scene behind my eye lids.

I refused to sleep, and be devoured by the abhorrent murky waters that were my memories.

I never did make it downtown though, it was too far anyway, I didn't know why I even tried. Instead I collapsed from exhaustion, but I didn't know where. I didn't know much of anything at the time. Nothing made sense. Nothing fit together in the puzzel of life I thought I had finally figured out. But it turned out that I was missing so many pieces that I still haven't found.

I rocked back and forth on the stone cold ground, and leaned my head against the wall, as inky black tears made dark splotches on the ground.

Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

I could feel myself slowly breaking, slowly becoming undone. I couldn't take it anymore, I let out a heart-wrenching shrill shriek, feeling more vulnerable then ever. I was surprised no one had come out to see what/who were making such pathetic noises.

After who knows how long I finally managed to regain some little piece of my dignity. But I didn't get up, I just continued to sit there and stare blankly, and thought up an intricate lie to validate everything I did tonight, so no one could find out what happened.

Little did I know someone already knew.

So tell me what you think PWEASE. Do you like it? Hate it? I'll update as long as I know people like it :)