A/N: Please note that this is not in any way to be taken seriously. Operation Hold Your Peace is a parody in response to all those awful Speak Now songfics where Annabeth basically thinks the lyrics to the song as she crashes Percy and Rachel's wedding. OHYP is the opposite side of that extremely unlikely situation. Enjoy, have a laugh, and feel free to leave a review!

Operation Hold Your Peace

Part 1: The Proposal

"—And then she slammed the door in my face," Percy sighed. He leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees as he ran his fingers through his hair tiredly.

"Ouch. That sucks, man," Grover said.

Rachel nodded. "So how are you gonna get her back?"

His head shot up indignantly. "You think I didn't try? I was practically on my knees begging for half an hour."

Grover leaned back and sighed. This was all pretty hard to take in. Sure, Percy and Annabeth had had some rocky periods over the last six years. But this was a new low for Olympus's favorite couple. Annabeth had kicked Percy out of their apartment a few days ago, and so far she showed no signs of giving in to his desperate pleas. From what Percy had told Grover, the argument started over something that was ridiculous, in retrospect—an untied shoelace. Somehow, the whole situation had escalated until a very dumbstruck Percy was out on the streets of New York carrying a cardboard box with most of his worldly possessions.

The mere possibility of a Percabeth (as the Aphrodite cabin so squealingly called it) breakup was simply preposterous. Eventually, they'd make up. And then probably make out. (That was the way a lot of fights ended between the two.) They had to get over it. Right?

"...So you really can't think of anything you haven't done to get her to forgive you?" Rachel was saying from down on her squashy purple bean bag. The trio was gathered in her apartment, which was as eclectic and crazy as its inhabitant.

"Rachel," Percy groaned in frustration. "What can I do?"

It was clearly a rhetorical question, but suddenly Rachel jumped as if she'd been electrocuted, her eyes glowing bright green. Percy and Grover stared at her, shocked, as the snakelike mist began to pour from her mouth.

"Fire and water will unite in lies

As the love of the ages threatens to die.

A false promise one's heart shall break

Unless the ultimate risk she is prepared to take.

But should the ruse of rings fail,

Love eternal shall not prevail."

Grover lurched forward and caught her as the mist abruptly shut off and Rachel slumped in her seat. She blinked, straightening up with a dazed expression.

"Are you okay?" Percy asked.

Rachel sat there with a puzzlement written all over her face for a moment before smirking in a way that made Percy positive that he wasn't going to like what she'd figured out.

"Oh. Well, this is going to be interesting," she said conversationally. "Percy, I know how you're gonna get Annabeth back."

"What? How? Tell me!"

Her grin widened as she looked him straight in the eyes.

"We're getting married."