"How did you hurt yourself exactly?" Mikado frowned as Masaomi clutched his arm against his chest, sucking his moment of fame up as three female peers cooed around him.

"Mikado, I told you. I got into a bit of a scruffle. It wasn't that bad until I decided to drop the stop sign I was holding." He looked at the ladies and sighed, "sometimes I feel like I just am angry and I can't stop it."

"Aw~" The girls hugged him.

"He's so much like Heiwajima!"

"Do you fight often, Kida-kun?"

Mikado shook his head. "Ask him about last month with the repairs at my apartment."

"Mikado~! I told you not to mention it! That beam was unstable! I had to stop it from hitting you." He nodded gravely, "it true. I took the bullet for him. Stopping such a malicious beam from plummeting on top of him."

"Oh!"

"That's so sweet of you!"

Mhmm, so sweet since Mikado had had to listen to four hours of Kida claiming his hand was broken because he got a splinter he wouldn't let the other pull out. The group walked into the hospital and the girls expanded out from the duo.

"Be careful, Kida-kun!"

"If you need someone to help with that anger before you become as bad as the monster of Ikebukuro, let us know!"

"Yeah! We're always here for you!"

They giggled and Kida grinned, "Sweet~!" An arm wrapped around Mikado's shoulders, "look at that! We got babes! Hot ones! We can totally have a double with no problem."

"Count me out. They were just concerned over your injury."

"Pfft, I think I just sprained it trying to parkour like the dramatic duo of Ikebukuro."

The leader of the Dollars sighed, "so why are we even here if it's nothing?"

"I told you~ babes and to get this wrapped up!" Another cocky grin was cast his way, "gotta have something the babes can coo over."

"You mean your dashing good looks and wit aren't enough," Mikado teased.

"It's true. Compared to me most this town wishes it could be with me. But I say no, No! I have a best friend! …but the babes can still hang around in case he's- OUCH! Hey! Mikado," Kida complained, having run into the teen, "why'd you stop?"

"Look!"

The pair looked to find the strongest man in Ikebukuro sitting in a chair.

"Heiwajima-san!" Kida grinned, "What's got you in here?"

The debt collector looked over, only to reach into his soaking wet vest and sigh.

"Why's he all wet?" Mikado asked.

"Damn, Orihara must have gotten him all washed up."

The ex-bartender froze as he heard the informant's name.

"Shh! What if he gets mad?" Mikado dragged his friend passed.

"Come on~ What's going to happen?"

"Us getting killed. Who will pick up women if we are dead?"

"Good point!" Kida laughed, "I knew I was rubbing my ways on you."

"…let's just hurry. I have to meet with Anri later."

"What? You two are going out on the town without me?"

"Of course not, just move."

~.~

Shizuo watched the two boys get stuck sitting across from him, waiting for an available physician.

"This sucks~!" the blond boy complained, "I still have to get home and do all that lousy homework!"

"Kida~ stop complaining!" the other motioned quickly, "Don't upset the others here."

…The three remained seated alone in the room, nurse calls and the sound of footsteps the only sound that interrupted.

"Ah~ This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work on that crappy psychology!"

"It's not that hard if you would just pay more attention."

"Easy for you to say, you get all that crap!"

"Kida~!" The black haired kid looked over at Shizuo again only to stare in shock, "…you're bleeding?"

Hmm? Shizuo looked down and sighed, he'd forgotten about his bullet wound.

"whoa~ Dude, you should see a doctor." Kida stared at him as well.

"Why do you think he's at the hospital, Masaomi?"

These kids were pissing him off. Leaning back, he did his best to relax. The whole place stank. There was a strong smell of disinfectant, that annoying woman over the speaker calling for doctor or nurse so and so, then there was the duo across from him. Add the fact that it was the middle of the day on a Monday, there was no one around.

"So Heiwajima-san!" Kida grinned at him and leaned forward, "where've you been for the last month? No one's seen you around 'bukuro."

"Kida!"

Shizuo gave the kid a droll stare, "busy." Damn he could use a cigarette right about now.

"No one's seen Orihara either."

Stop pressuring me to kill you kid…

"The whole place has been quiet. It's boring."

Annoying… annoying…

"So what have you been doing?"

PISSED! PISSED! PISSED! PISSED! PISSED-

"Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo broke out of his reverie as the nurse came out. "Hmm?"

"We've gotten Izaya-san out of the operating room."

Bolting from his seat, Shizuo ignored the throb in his shoulder, "Is he awake? Can I see him?"

The duo sitting on the other end of the room stared at him in shock as the nurse shook her head. "He's still out cold. We've got him on a drip while he recovers some. There was some hypothermia issues and such that we had to deal with. Luckily for us, you took care of- Oh my goodness, your shoulder!"

Shizuo shrugged it off, "it's nothing."

"It looks like something. Come on, we'll patch you up since we've taken care of your significant other."

~.~

The duo sitting in their seats watched as Shizuo was escorted back. Kida gaped, his eyes the size of saucers, "did she just say…"

"Heiwajima is homosexual?"

"Whoa~" Kida stood up and shook his head, "this can't be right. Since when do those two even associate on friendly terms. They can't even look at each other without fighting."

"It looks like they are now."

"No. I mean, the babes! How can- I mean…" Kida moaned, leaning back in his seat and sulking. "…Mikado?"

"What's wrong now?"

"This sucks. Now I'm thinking about swinging that way."

The other rolled his eyes, "you're just saying that because you're bored- HEY!" A hand groped him through his shirt and Kida smiled somewhat darkly.

~.~

"Heiwajima-san!" The nurses all complained as he picked the informant up, "he's only stable right now! We don't know whether he'll catch a fever or anything!"

"I'm taking him home." After hearing that Yadogiri was killed and that his former personnel were either dead or claiming that the man was the victim of the gangs of Tokyo, Shizuo was through sitting at the hospital next to that annoying beeping monitor.

"Sir!"

Wait!"

Shizuo carried the man in his arms and paused a moment to dodge around the fight in the waiting room between the two boys. He continued onward as the management seized their chase to pull the duo apart. He kicked the front of the building open and headed down the street, the man in his arms dozing soundly.

"Isn't that Heiwajima?"

"No way! The man is soaking wet and that guy has brown hair with blond at the end. There's no way that's Shizuo Heiwajima."

"True~"

Shizuo hurried around a corner only to groan internally.

"Shizu!" Erika smiled at him and bounced forth from the van gang. "What's going on?"

"Can you give us a ride?" He was sick of walking. His arm freaking hurt and the louse just had to hit him in that spot with his head.

"Hmm? OF COURSE!"

Kadota nodded at him, "what happened?"

"Louse and I got into a fight and ended up in the bay."

"Whoa!" Both otakus stared at him in awe, "you mean you guys blew up the bridge? Was it with a vending machine?"

"Kadota…"

"Come on guys, leave the man be."

Erika scooted over and pat the back seat, smiling as the side door was shut and Shizuo was stuck with the two. "So how's the relationship going?"

"Pfft, Erika!" The other otaku scowled, "how many times do I have to tell you that Shizaya doesn't exist?"

"It does!" Erika whined, "I saw it!"

"Mhmm."

"They were going at it!"

"Whatever Erika, I'll expect AmericaXRussia before that. Or Light and L."

"ALL REAL!" The girl exclaimed, "It's called the cold war, and for Light and L it's a twisted love. Come on, not all love is going to be fluffy." She patted the ex-bartender and Shizuo felt the deep urge to cross himself. "Clearly this duo has the violent, sick love that involves bondage, blood, and adrenaline… like Germancest."

Shizuo wasn't too sure what the hell that meant, but he was suddenly not feeling too up for any trips to Europe.

"Erika~ Everyone knows Gilbert ends up alone."

"SHUT UP BEFORE WE PULL THE VAN OVER!" Kadota glared at them as they turned off the road finally, "Shizuo, where're we going?"

"Shinra's."

"Alright." Kadota turned his attention back to talking to the other and the otaku nonsense continued.

Erika leaned closer to him and looked at Izaya. "Iza-chan is so moe when he sleeps."

Walker shrugged, "he's like a lion, wake him up if you want to be eaten."

"I bet he would look cute with cat ears." Erika smirked before digging through her bag, pulling out a cat eared headband. She stuck it on the sleeping informant's head and smugly admired her work. "Nyan~"

Walker snickered, "you had a point. Better with the ears."

Shizuo averted his gaze to the window.

"Shizu! What do you think?" Erika lifted the informant's arm and used it to paw at him, "nya nya~"

"Stop."

"Come on~ He's totally adorable with them. He's clearly your uke."

"Erika," Walker shook his head.

Shizuo stared out the window harder until Erika commented again.

"If you don't want him, Dotachin will take him. He's kept a picture of him in his wallet for ages."

Shizuo's grip tightened possessively around the informant as Shizuo looked over at the man, whom was now sitting rigid in his front seat.

"I swear, I'm not funding another manga run for the rest of the year."

"DOTACHIN~!" Both whined loudly as the can turned.

"Jealous Dotachin," Erika murmured before turning to the duo next to her. She pulled the informant's hands into hers and smiled, "IzaIza makes such a cute kitty. You can keep the ears for him Shizu. I don't need them if they're put to good use."

"Erika!" Walker covered her mouth and smiled at Shizuo, "She's crazy. Don't even listen to her. We all know you hate-"

"Shizzy-chan…" The informant stirred in his arms and immediately Shizuo's attention was focused on him.

"Izaya-kun~" He leaned over a bit and watched as those carmine eyes opened, the man stretching a bit before yawning and curling up closer to him.

"nya, Shizu-chan. Wake me later…" He snuggled in before drifting off to sleep in seconds.

Erika fanned herself. "So cute~ So so cute~"

"You got one thing right, Izaya-san can do moe look." Walker admitted.

"Shizaya for the win!" She cheered as they finally pulled up to the house.

"Thanks for the ride. "Shizuo opened the door and jumped out, clutching the informant to his chest, heading up to the building. He ignored the van gang as he got inside and headed back up to the apartment.

Erika smirked as the group watched the blond head inside with Izaya in his arms.

"Five hundred yen says they have good quality time when IzaIza wakes up."

Kadota and Walker shook their heads, "easiest yen ever made."

~.~

"Shizu-chan~" Izaya was pushed into the bedding as Shizuo loomed over him. Sweat rolled down his back as he fought his fatigue. He looked over his shoulder and glared at the brute. "Careful!"

"I'm trying to go slow!"

"Go any slower and I'm going to be getting wrinkles here!"

"Shut up flea or I'll make you take care of this yourself."

"But that would be gross," Izaya complained, wrinkling his nose, "it's all wet and messy. I'll have to wash up afterwards if I do that."

"Should have thought of that before."

"Like that would change anything."

"Just shut up! I'm almost done!"

"So quickly! Shizu-chan has hands of a champion~"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up!"

The bedroom door slammed open and Roppi walked in, glaring at them. "SHUT UP! You're scaring Tsuki!"

The duo on the bed looked over and Izaya sat up, pouting, "it's not my fault the brute can't replace bandages well."

"I could if you would just stay put and stop reopening wounds!"

"Whose fault is that when I have you trying to seduce me every night?"

Roppi huffed angrily, "stupid idiotic humans. I hate them…"

"And another thing, Shizu-chan, where did Dotachin's number go on my phone? I know you've been messing with my phone when I'm asleep. Shiki-san is missing too."

"You're voice is annoying."

"My voice is annoying? That from the monster of Ikebukuro-"

Lips clashed seconds later before the fight was officially put on hiatus. They collapsed to the bed sheets again. Their clothes flying in the wind as they crawled under the bedcovers and continued.

"Protozoan-"

"Flea-"

"Neanderthal-"

"Louse-"

"Brute-"

"Flea-"

Izaya pulled away only to smirk, "you said that already."

"Because you are one, now shut up," Shizuo bit down on the brunet's lower lip before he could speak and started to suck on it, reaching up his chest to stop the teasing arms roaming about his person.

"I still hate you Shizu-chan."

"I really don't give a shit, stop lying to me and yourself."

Izaya grinned, "I love all my humans, but you aren't human."

Shizuo grinned back, pulling the man's hand down to his crotch and smirking even darker than before, "this is human enough. It's all you'll be seeing."

"I can't see if my hand's on it, Shizzy~"

"You won't need to see it when I pound the living snot out of you." Shizuo pinned the informant down and murmured softly and seriously into the man's ear, "I hope you canceled your appointments for this week, you'll be all washed up when I'm through with you. You won't even be able to walk, let alone sit down."

"So primitive," nonetheless, Izaya shivered at the images that spurred to mind.

~.~

Tsuki sat in the living room as Delic and Hibiya walked by, "they are not having sex. They are not having sex. They are not having sex..."

Delic frowned, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Peasant..."

Tsuki sniffled, "those two are making weird sounds and saying things again."

Delic laughed, "it's called sex. What do you and Roppi even do at night?"

The scarved boy shook his head vigorously. "It's not l-l-like that. W-we just don-n't need to do that dur-"

"God, I forgot how much you stutter." Delic interrupted. "Watch. All these guys want the same thing." He lifted Hibiya's chin and kissed him hard, earning two arms wrapping around his waist. The prince purred against him as Tsuki covered his eyes.

"It burns..."

"That's right! It burns so good~" The host turned up his music, setting his headphones around his neck and lifted his prince in his arms. "Shall we continue this on your royal throne, your highness?"

"...I suppose I will accept devotion while I sit upon my throne."

"You guys are dirtying my mind," Tsuki murmured, hiding his face in his scarf.

Delic threw the kid a wink before running to the back.

Tsuki waited a minute before peeking out, "it safe?"

...

"TSU-CHAN!" Psyche went running through the living room, only the blue material of Tsugaru's kimono providing any, but not much, cover, "TSU-CHAN! I WANNA TAKE A BATH WITH YOU!"

Tsugaru followed at his own pace, pausing before Tsukishima to sigh, "you should probably go to your room."

"...Never bathing again. Never bathing again. Never bathing again. Never bathing again." Tsuki got up and headed to his and Roppi's room when he ran into the man himself.

"Something wrong, Tsuki?"

"I hate humans."

Roppi blinked at him before snorting, "welcome to the club. You saw Psyche running naked through the living room didn't you."

"I saw nothing. I only see Roppi-san." Tsuki wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled as close as he could. "Nothing. All the humans are crazy, horny monsters. I only want to stay with Roppi-san."

Roppi grinned, a very uncommon thing, and pulled the blond into their room, locking the door behind them.

~.~

"Oops~" Shinra gleefully watched his newest clone bust out of his container and for whatever reason free the raven-haired clone from his birth container. The two sat quietly on the floor and observed their surroundings as the underground doctor walked in. "Hello there. I am Shinra. I am your doctor."

"Hello," the brunet echoed, shivering a bit until the blond who'd freed him wrapped his arms around him. Ah~ so much better. He wouldn't have to worry about jealous clones killing each other this way.

"You both have names as well."

The pair looked at him lethargically.

"You," Shinra pointed to the brunet, "are named… Sakuraya." The man nodded.

"Sa…kura…ya…"

"Good! Yes. You are Sakuraya." Shinra turned to the blond, "And you are named-" "SHINRAAAAAAAA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" The sound of a lock being picked and pounding made the doctor jump.

"Shit!"

"…Shit." The blond repeated the word and Shinra quickly shook his head.

"No, no! You're name is Shit…suo. Shitsuo."

"SHINRA WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Do you want to know what the bottom of Tokyo bay looks like?" Izaya's voice called out menacingly to him, "I have some friends down under that would just love to have a doctor in the sea…"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SHINRA!" Shizuo's voice called.

"Whoops…" Shinra smiled before waving at the duo on the floor. "You may ask my wifey about any details you need. I must be going. Many patients to take care of you know~"

"SHINRA!"

~.~

Fin.

~.~

A/N: That's it. Good/bad/boring, that is Washed Up. –feels washed up- I'm just going to call this failure and work harder on my other two now. -sulking, does not like ending- Final reviews?