Chapter One: Breakfast

Gilbert's alarm clock went off, with the same annoying regularity it had since he'd been about… say… ten, and he'd started getting up by himself. He hated its annoying beep, but since he'd broken his old one, throwing it into his wall when he'd found out they were moving to America, to some stuffy old "Diplomatic Castle". Seriously, that was what they called it. It did look like a castle, admittedly, with spiky black fences, and brick towers which rose up. There were about eight, and Gilbert's family had the top floor of the north most one.

'Gilbert, darling,' his mother called. 'Gilbert, I heard your alarm go off! You'll be late to your first day!' Oh, yeah, that was another thing. Instead of getting a bus to some distant city school, or even just staying at his old boarding school, he was going to school in the Castle. Yeah, and they weren't ordinary classes. For math, they did "stocks", for English, political speeches, and for the other classes, it followed a similar pattern.

'Coming, Mum,' he said, glaring at his albino reflection, 'but it's under protest!' His hair sufficiently flattened, his red eyes rubbed free of sleep, and his pajamas swapped for a black T-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. He laced up neon-green converses, and headed towards his parents' kitchen.

'Good morning,' his mum said, 'Gillie, darling, can you wake up Luddie?' Gilbert rolled his eyes at his Mum's stupid pet names, and went to get his younger brother up.

'LUDWIG! Get up, Ludwig!' Gilbert leaned over his brother's Star Wars duvet, and glowered at the sleeping thirteen year old. Ludwig, who was his parents' favorite, who'd been lucky enough to be born with a proper hair color, and a real eye color… Ludwig, the special.

'Hi! Gillie!' Ludwig said, happily, 'is it the morning?' He must've noticed Gilbert's expression, because he stopped smiling, sharpish. 'School today, right?' He nodded wisely. 'Thought so!' He was all blue eyes, Gilbert thought. He'd never been able to pull off puppy-dog eyes, because if he tried, he'd just freak people out with his freakish eyes…

'I AM AWESOME! I AM AWESOME!' Gilbert murmured. It was his personal mantra, and Gilbert had never managed to go a full day without muttering it at some point.

'GILBERT! Feed your damned chicken!' His father, who was by nature a nice man, seemed to loathe Gilbird with a passion. 'GILBIRD, STOP POOING ON THE NEW CURTAINS!' Ok, so maybe he had a reason.

'Good little chick-y chick-y chick!' Gilbert cooed, picking his pet up. He poured some seeds into a bowl, and then placed Gilbird back in his cage. When he'd been at boarding school, he'd had a back garden, and he had been able to let Gilbird out every day, while he was at school. Now, though, Gilbird had to go out on a leash, which Gilbert had to hold.

That wasn't a life, not for a cute, fluffy, yellow chicken. But, whatever, he was AWESOME, and so was Gilbird, and they'd manage, of course they would…

'Gil? We've got Count Chocula! Yummy, yummy, in my tummy!' Ludwig chanted, bouncing around his brother's head.

'Verschlossen, Ludwig! Gott, warum wurde ich mit einem kleinen Bruder verflucht? Mama! Machen Sie Ludwig verschlossen!' Gilbert whined.

Ludwig trembled, his little blond head shaking. 'Mama! Gilbert's being meeeeaaannnn,' he wailed. 'Mama!' Between the two boys, born three years apart, Gilbert's mother had seen a lot of things, but it didn't mean she liked her sons fighting. She told them both to shut up, and placed cold mash and sausage in front of Gilbert, and a bowl of Count Chocula cereal in front of Ludwig. It was going to be a long day, that was for sure.

A/N 'Verschlossen, Ludwig! Gott, warum wurde ich mit einem kleinen Bruder verflucht? Mama! Machen Sie Ludwig verschlossen!' means 'Shut up, Ludwig! God, why was I cursed with a little brother? Mum! Make Ludwig shut up!'