The Dating Game: Island Style
A/N: Haha, I was bored.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or Chuck Barris' The Dating Game.
*Insert Game Show Music Here*
Lanna: Hey there everyone! I'm Lanna, your lovely game show host! How are you guys feeling!?
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Good! Now what we have here with us today are three charming young men who are going to try to charm our island's new farmer. And heeeeerrree they are!
*wall platform turns around*
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Okay, our first bachelor is bachelor #1! Bachelor #1 enjoys fishing, shopping at Chen's, and loves to eat sashimi. He's a fisherman and his hobbies include…well, fishing! Is he a nice catch for our bachelorette? Please welcome, Deeeeeenny!
Denny: Eh heh, what's up guys?
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Alright! Next we have bachelor #2! Bachelor #2 enjoys being emo and loves his porridge. He's an animal trader and his hobbies include taking care of animals. Bachelor #2 has a message for our bachelorette: "Ropes, spurs, leather gloves - Honey, even I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!" Give it up for Vauuughnnn!
Vaughn :…( I'm gonna kill Denny after this…)
Denny: *snickers*
*crowd cheers*
Random fan girl: I love you, Vaughn!
Lanna: Annnd last but not least, bachelor #3! Bachelor #3 enjoys sunsets, long walks on the beach, and being naked. His hobbies include being awesome and picking up random chicks at the beach. He is currently unemployed and is proud of it. Please give a 'round of applause for Rooooockkk!
Rock: Thanks for the introduction, babe *winks at Lanna*
Denny & Vaughn: (Who the hell is this guy?)
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Huh? Who do we have here?
*crew member walks up and whispers on Lanna's ear*
Lanna: Hm, I see. Well this is new and exciting! Everyone! It looks like we have not 3 but 4 bachelors trying to win the heart of our lovely bachelorette!
Denny & Vaughn: (What?)
Rock: (I am…so awesome)
Lanna: Please welco-
?: Ah, there is no need for you to introduce me, fair maiden. Please, allow me!
*white horse galloping out of nowhere*
*crowd gasps*
*horse neighs*
?: Hello everyone! My name is William Terry Louis Andrew Carrick Jonathan Dredge Hams Reading Roger Southwark Alwick Plymouth Junior Regison III. You may call me Will for short…if you like *smiles*
*fan girl squeals *
Lanna: Okay…well uh, please sit behind the screen like the other bachelors.
Will: Forgive me fair maiden, but I will not. I shall not let such grotesque walls get in the way between my mysterious maiden and moi.
Lanna: I'm sorry Will, but you have to. The screens prevent the bachelors from seeing the bachelorette's appearance. It is part of the game, you know.
Will: I see. Well…if I must…
*Will sits behind screen with other bachelors*
Will: *Looks at bachelors* Ah, so this sad lot is my competition for my maiden's love? How embarrassing…
Denny: (The nerve of that guy…)
Vaughn: (Forget Denny, I want this guy's head on a stick…)
Rock: (He's still no match for my sexiness)
Lanna: Okay…well, those are your bachelors! Now, behind this sound-proof wall, we have our special bachelorette. As you all know, she cannot hear or see what's going in the show right now because, well, that's the rule of the game! She is also hidden behind a screen so that she cannot see the bachelors when asking questions. Let's introduce our star of the show!
*wall platform turns around*
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Here we have our special bachelorette! She enjoys working on her farm, playing with her dog, and traveling between islands. She is, of course, a farmer and her hobbies include fishing, animal breeding, mining, and cooking. She also has a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu. Give it up for Cheeelseeeeea!
Chelsea: Hi everyone!
*crowd cheers*
Lanna: Now Chelsea, please begin asking your questions to the bachelors.
Chelsea: Ok! *clears throat* Bachelor #1, what is your idea of a good time?
Denny: Well, I enjoy fishing at the beach so…
Chelsea: Oo, you fish? That's great! I love fishing!
Denny: Really? You must be good at fishing then 'cause you've caught me - - hook, line, and sinker!
Lanna: Well that was a lame pick-up line.
Denny: Hey! It worked for you back when we started dating!
*crowd gasps*
Lanna: Err…anyways, Chelsea, please continue.
Chelsea: Right. Bachelor #2, what's your idea of a good time?
Vaughn: …Uh
Denny: Heheh, what was your message again? "Ropes, spurs, leather gloves…"
Vaughn: De- I mean Bachelor #1, shut up!
Chelsea: *gasps* so you're into S&M bachelor #2?
Vaughn: W-what!? No-
Chelsea: That is so hot!
*crowd makes cat noises*
Chelsea: Mmm…alright, Bachelor #3, I'll ask a different question for you. Imagine that you're on a date with me. Suddenly, a guy comes up and tries to steal me away from you. What would you do?
Rock: I would come up to him and say "Bitch, if you don't want my sexy foot up your ugly ass, leave my girl alone!"
*crowd cheers*
Rock: And then, if he has one, I'll steal his girl. That way, we're even.
Chelsea: Eh, I don't know about the last part, but other than that, that's really sweet of you Bachelor #3! Now, Bachelor #4-
Will: Ah, your angelic voice is music to my ears! Speak to me, my angel!
Chelsea: Right…uh, Bachelor #4, if I kissed you and you turned into a frog, what would you do?
Will: Such a scenario would truly be tragic indeed. Well, I would do everything in my power to kiss you back. After all, I am your fairy-tale prince, and you, my princess.
*rest of the bachelors snicker*
Chelsea: Eh heheh, that's, uh, nice of you Bachelor #4. So, Bachelor #1…
Denny: Anything for you, Bachelorette.
Lanna: Humph. He never said that to me…
Denny: Oh come on, Lanna! I never say that to you 'cause you have pretty much anything, you spoiled little wannabe pop princess!
Lanna: *gasp* how DARE you! I AM a pop princess!
Denny: Oh yeah!? What are you now!?
Lanna: I-I can be a game show host too, you know!
Denny: Whatever. See, this is why-
Chelsea: *clears throat* you know, never mind Bachelor #1. Bachelor #2, Imagine that you're inviting me for a family dinner. How would you introduce me to your parents?
Vaughn: I…have no family.
*insert sad music here*
*crowd sobs*
Chelsea: Aw, that's so sad! I'm sorry Bachelor #2.
Vaughn: Whatever.
Chelsea: Hm, well I'll come back to you-
Vaughn: Forget it! I don't even know why I'm in this stupid game show.
*Vaughn starts leaving*
*crowd gasps*
Will: How sad.
Vaughn: You say something?
Will: I said how sad…for someone to come so far and yet quit so miserably.
Vaughn: Grrr…I'll show you what's sad!
*Vaughn starts beating up Will*
*Crowd gasps*
Chelsea: What's going!? What are you doing, Bachelor #2?
*Vaughn throws Will, knocking down the bachelors' screen*
*crowd gasps*
Lanna: Oh my-
Chelsea: Lanna, what is going on?
Lanna: Stay behind your screen, Chelsea. *clears throat* Well, that's it for the questions! Later in the show, Chelsea will reveal which bachelor she picked. Who will it be? Find out after the break!
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Lanna: Welcome back to the Island Dating Show! I'm Lanna, your host, and I'm about to ask Chelsea which lucky guy she picked!
*moves over to Chelsea*
Lanna: So Chelsea, who did you pick?
Chelsea: I picked bachelor #3!
*crowd cheers*
Rock: Ahahahahahahahaha!
*Rest of the bachelors dumbfounded*
Lanna: So tell me Chelsea, why did you pick Bachelor #3?
Chelsea: Well, Bachelor #1 seems to be still in love with you, Bachelor #2 is just a bit too violent and emo, and Bachelor #4 is kinda creepy. Plus, from what I've heard, Bachelor #2 just beat him up, so he might not look too good right now…
Lanna: I see. Well, here's the bachelor you picked! Come on out Bachelor #3!
*Rock comes out*
*crowd cheers*
*Rock checks out Chelsea*
Rock: Helllloooo. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Bachelorette!
Chelsea: Teehee, please, call me Chelsea.
Lanna: Ah, love is in the air! Well, that's it for today's episode! See you next time!
A/N: Ever thought of this crack pairing?