Chapter 1

Robin Maxwell was use to living in fear. Now she was terrified. Their shuttlecraft had gone down deep in Visitor occupied territory. And it all happened so fast! They had barely made it away from the crash site when a Visitor patrol emerged. One minute she was staring at the dead pilot; then Ham Tyler grabbed her and they were running, no he was dragging her, into the forest deep past the sunlight and into the darkness. She didn't know how far they ran, but her sides ached when they finally stopped. Her breath came in gulps, snot filled her nostrils, and she was suddenly cold from air hitting her sweat soaked body. She took a tissue from her pocket, blew her nose, and then realized her suitcase and her purse had been left at the crash site. She had nothing except the clothes on her back!

Ham slumped down at the base of a tree. His face was scarlet, but his breath was more normal. She didn't see anybody else. "Should we go back?"

He shook his head.

"But what about Chris? He's your partner." She said.

"Chris knows how to take care of himself. With only two of us and three pistols, there's nothing, but death back there."

Three pistols? What was he talking about? She didn't even have a knife.

Ham pulled a handgun out of his boot. "Put this in your jacket pocket and keep your hand on it at all times."

She nodded. No problem, he was definitely her best, probably only, chance for survival. He stood up and wiped his face on his sleeve. She noticed he had been calm enough at the crash to grab a backpack. Of course, he had no doubt survived crashes before this. "Do you know where we are?"

"A few miles outside of Tucson," he replied.

"There's an Air Force Base near Tucson," she heard herself saying. What a stupid remark. Of course, that base was no longer there.

Ham looked like he wanted to laugh at her, but he wouldn't waste the energy right now. "All the flyboys are dead. They got shot down and eaten. But hopefully some of the Resistance I know is still there." He checked a compass; then held out his hand to help her up. "Come on. We got to get moving."

Tucson looked like any Visitor occupied area she had ever seen in surveillance video. The streets were clean, but many were blocked off by chain link and barbwire. Propaganda posters covered the walls of many buildings. In LA, they would have been defaced even if they were only a few hours old, but here they were fresh and shiny. She recognized some of the designs from the first Visitor occupation. Did the Visitors think people would still fall for those lies? Anything was possible. There were kids on the street wearing Visitor youth uniforms. Ham steered her far away from them. He probably realized she wouldn't be able to control her shaking. They went deep into what had to have been the worst side of town even before the Visitor's came. Ham finally stopped at a bar named the Yellow Snake. It was a dead ringer for the bar in every bad after school special she had ever watched.

"I'm looking for William Bonny III," Ham told the bartender.

"And you are?" the bartender asked without looking up.

"Tell him the Fixer's come out from LA. He'll recognize the name." Ham replied.

When the bartender went into the back, Ham immediately turned to her. "You're going to be very scared for a few minutes. Keep your mouth shut."

A bag was shoved over her head. Someone grabbed both her arms and she felt a gun barrel at her back. They were dragged away, down a flight of stairs and through some corridors. Soon she could no longer hear the sound of the bar. It was getting hard to breathe and whoever was escorting her had way too grabby hands. He squeezed her breasts and she wanted to scream and kick him, but Ham was right. They needed the local Resistance if they were going to survive. At least she managed to shake him off when they finally stopped.

She heard of voice like a Hispanic accent mixed with a drawl. "The man you asked for is already dead."

"How many did he take with him?" Ham answered.

"How many do you think?" the voice asked.

"Enough to make leather boots for every biker north of the border," Ham replied.

There was a lot of laughter. "Ham Tyler, you son-of-bitch, how did you survive this long?" It sounded like Ham and the other man were patting each other on the back.

"Bad attitude," she heard Ham reply. Then he lifted the bag off her head. The room was smoky and the only light was pointed directly at them. At the fringes, she could see some of the men. They were real bikers, tattooed and scarred, not the frat boy, salon-perm motorcycle enthusiast type Kyle Bates was. Body odor hung in the room. Before the war these men had probably all been criminals. She was fairly certain the blonde biker standing too close to her was the one that molested her earlier. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and moved closer to Ham. Then she got a good look at the man Ham had embraced. He was wearing a vest of what could have been alligator skin, but was more likely . . . .! She forced herself not vomit. She hated the Visitors, hated them, wanted most of them dead and destroyed, or at least off her planet. She had killed Bryan, up close and personal, with revenge boiling in her veins. But to wear Visitors' skin? It wasn't like leather or fur. The Visitors were thinking beings. It was a life that was most often her enemy, but still a life perhaps somehow with a soul made in the image of its form of god. To wear their skin like clothing seemed as bad as doing the same with a human being.

Ham had an arm around the man. He looked happy if that expression could be applied to Ham. "This is Chuy Hernandez. He use to be the best enforcer in the Seguin cartel."

Chuy hugged Ham. "And this is mi hermano, Ham Tyler! No man has killed as many lizards as him!"

The blonde biker leered in her direction. "Who is the gash?"

He meant her. Gash? How disgustingly crude? Ham's expression changed. His gaze oozed malice. "My old lady."

The blonde biker turned white.

The bikers gave them a room with a bed and a bathroom. Actually, it was probably somebody else's room that had been temporarily vacated. The walls were covered with posters of airbrushed centerfolds and tricked out Harley motorcycles, but it was surprisingly clean.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Ham said.

"What if somebody sees you there?" she asked.

"We lock the door before going to sleep," he replied.

Well, at least he didn't add a sarcastic Duh, to the end of his reply. Actually she probably shouldn't have expected that from Ham. Not that they spent a lot of time together, but he had never been condescending to her like some LA Resistance men. Most times they treated her like some helpless little woman that couldn't do anything for herself. The ones that weren't condescending could be even worse. Usually they were flirtatious until they found out she was the Robin Maxwell that got impregnated by a lizard and gave birth to the Star-Child. Once that revelation came out everything changed. Most kept their distance. A few had called her a Visitor–whore as if what had happened was her fault. And the even smaller percentage that didn't despise her for Elizabeth, they freaked when they found out what happened to Bryan.

Ham tossed her a T-shirt from his pack. "Here. Wash out your underclothes and sleep in this."

She had another nightmare about Bryan. This time he was raping her again only his fake face shredded as she tried to fight him off. If only she had the courage to do that before. She woke up in a panic. Strong arms surrounded her and she was pressed against a warm, but very masculine chest.

"Sh, calm down. It's only a dream."

He had a gentle voice. She had never seen this part of Ham Tyler. Probably few people had. The man that usually frightened her now held her as calmly as Willie would after she had nightmares. He didn't let her go even when she started crying. And when she pulled away his shoulder was soaked.

"I've got vodka," he said.

She shook her head. "I can't drink strong alcohol."

"I'll dilute it with water and lemonade mix," he offered.

She nodded. He got up from the bed and returned a few minutes later with a cup of yellow liquid.

"Lynchburg lemonade," he said handing it to her.

It was good like the lemonade she associated with childhood summers, but it left mild warmth in her stomach. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem," Ham replied.

She had to say more. "I mean thanks for everything. Thanks for saving my neck when the shuttle crashed and for saving who knows what else when we made contact with these guys. And thanks for trying to get me to Chicago even though I am the most whiny, spoiled brat in the entire LA resistance."

He gave her a half smile. "You had a soft life before the Visitors came. Most people did. But you are not as fragile as you think. A lot of women don't survive being raped. You did and you were raped by a lizard from another planet."

"At least, you believe I was raped.," she said.

He looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

She hadn't intended to expose so much, but once she started, it was hard to stop. The truth was she didn't have anyone to talk to about this. Sometimes she thought about trying to talk to Maggie Blodgett, but Maggie had her own crosses to bear. Julie was too busy and her romantic disasters certainly weren't appropriate conversation with her daughter. This probably wasn't an appropriate conversation to have with Ham Tyler either and it certainly wasn't a subject that would interest him, she suspected, but he was here and he hadn't told her to shut up. "When most men find out I knew Bryan so well before I got taken to the mother ship they think I deserved what happened. Or worse, they say what happened wasn't rape and that I was a really collaborator that got lucky because of Elizabeth."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Anyone who tells you that rape was your fault is a jerk. You survived a monster."

"Most people don't think that about me," she admitted.

"I'm not most people," he said.

That was certainly the truth. She couldn't look at Ham Tyler without the expression tough as nails coming to mind. He didn't think she was fragile. That was something.

He kept on talking. "The way you dispatched Bryan was ice cold. Until I saw you had the Red Dust, I was half-convinced you were going to let him go. I can only imagine what he thought. Best played revenge I ever saw."

She was stunned. "How can you know that? The only person around when Bryan died was Elizabeth and she doesn't remember anything. Or at least, she says she doesn't remember anything." She had a horrible thought that Elizabeth had lied to spare her pain. Bryan's death was a burden she could not leave on her daughter's shoulders. "Has she told you she remembers something?"

"No," he said.

"Then how can you possibly know what I said to Bryan?" she asked.

Now he looked uncomfortable. Actually on another person she would read his expression as embarrassed, but Ham didn't get embarrassed. "I didn't know what you would do. I didn't know if we could trust Willie yet. I staked out the lab."

"Staked out the lab?"

"I stayed in that empty cell to the left of the tube. I rigged a few mirrors, so I would have an unobstructed view, standard surveillance tuff. The lizard didn't even know I was there. Once you dropped the Red Dust, I slipped out and doubled back through the kitchen. I figured it was your moment." He explained.

She understood. He had overheard her conversation with Bryan. He had listened to her conning Bryan into believing she was still the same stupid infatuated girl that believed all his lies. And he had watched her kill the father of her child. Best played revenge I ever saw. Even her father had been horrified over what she had done to Bryan. Robert Maxwell had told everyone she had been mentally distressed and wasn't responsible for her actions. But Ham knew the truth. It wasn't temporary insanity when she killed Bryan. She wanted the lying bastard to die. Ham had seen everything and he approved.

"I wanted him dead and I wanted him to know as he died that I was one that ended his life. I probably shouldn't have brought Elizabeth with me, but I wanted him to know she existed. I wanted him to think as he died that the only descendent he would ever have was her. Does that sound sick?"

"Not to me," he replied.

"Thanks," she held out her hand. He shook it. His hands were warmer than she had expected. Her whole body felt warmer from the touch. "My father said never to tell anyone about the night I killed Bryan. People would think I was crazy."

"Your father was a good man, but he lived in a world that doesn't exist anymore. It was dying before the Visitors came, but the invasion finished it off even faster," he said. He put his hands on her shoulders again. She felt a sudden shock from head to toe

"We were going to kill him. We grabbed him to test the Red Dust. What you did made it easier for Julie and Donovan and the rest. You did the right thing?" He said.

He surprised her at every turn. She had always known he wasn't a dumb brute. To do what he knew how to do required a lot of education, but this conversation revealed a depth to him that she had never suspected: a man who appreciated violence and understood human nature. "Willie once told me Bryan had never been a good officer. I think he was trying to explain that Bryan wasn't just a monster to me only."

"Bryan was probably a monster to his fellow reptiles. Arrogant officers usually are and he had the swagger of real jerk." Ham said.

"I always wondered if underneath his fake skin Bryan's lizard features were as attractive to Visitor females as his human face had been to human women," she said. "I never thought I was attractive. That's probably why it was so easy for Bryan to get to me."

He gave her that Ham Tyler look of condescending disbelief for the first time. "First time, I saw you, I thought you were a very pretty teenage girl. Jail bait in the world without the Visitors. At least a severe beating in the world we were living in."

"I looked like a beached whale when you met me. I was pregnant," Robin said.

"First time I saw you, I didn't know you were pregnant," he replied.

Curiosity sparked into a flame. "You remember the first time you saw me?"

"Yeah, it was an incident Donovan would have loved. You were with your sisters in the cafeteria. Your hair was still long and curly. I could tell how much you loved your sister by the work you were putting into tutoring them. I sat watching you and thought the reason I'm willing to die was that caring sisters deserved a better fate than being eaten by lizards from another planet."

His eyes had changed from granite to something softer while he told her that story. It made her stomach tumble. She wasn't prepared to see Ham Tyler as anything other than indestructible rock.

"And when you found out I was pregnant?" she asked.

His voice was different. There was still the deepness she associated with Ham Tyler, but something else too "I wondered who your man was. I thought I might have to keep an eye on some pimple-faced teenage Resistance fighter, so the girl in the cafeteria wouldn't be wracked with grief. And then I noticed you didn't have a ring. I wondered if the father was dead or taken by the Visitors or was he just a jerk. Sometimes a part of me kind of liked the possibilities of he was just a jerk."

"Why?"

"Fooling around with pretty virgins is a good way to get lynched. People are a lot more tolerate when the woman's a little shop worn." He explained.

He was admitting he had been attracted to her! She had experienced teenage boys crushing on her before. Daniel Bernstein had been the most prominent of those and her memories and opinions of him were only slightly less vile than those she held for Bryan. Ham was a completely different situation. This was a man who had seen more than a fair share of the world admitting that he found her attractive and that only a very thin veneer of social rules had ever kept him from acting on it. She had never thought about his face before. He certainly wasn't pretty boy handsome like the guys she crushed on before, but he wasn't a boy either. Han had chiseled features, hard like the weapons so familiar to him, but there was something striking in his face, a complexity she didn't see every day. Yeah, it was intensely more flattering to have him describe lusting over her than a twenty something college guy.

"What did you think when you found out the father of my baby was a Visitor?" she asked.

"That a lizard raped you gave me one more reason to hate them," he said.

She felt strange over the way he was looking at her with the hint of smile on his lips. Usually when Ham smiled he looked scary like he was about to skin someone alive and he would masturbate about it later. This smile was different. For the first time, she could see vulnerability in his face. It warmed his features. He actually looked handsome when he looked human. "How come you never told me this?" she asked.

"I had a war to fight," he said.

"Not after Liberation Day. You could have come out to my father's ranch any time." She said.

"Your father could bag his mark at 250 meters. And even though you were the mother of the Star Child, you were still his daughter and a lot younger than me," he said.

"What if I had been older?" she asked.

"What ifs are a waste of time," he said.

She fixed her gaze on him. "No, they're not. They're shades of worlds that could have been. I want to know. If I had been ten years older, would you have come out to the ranch?"

She could see emotion in his eyes she had never seen before. Something deep and long hidden was struggling inside him. "Maybe," he said. His gaze fell away from her for a moment and then he looked up again. "No, not maybe, probably."

Probably. Such a simple word and not even a confirmation of anything really, but it exploded walls. Probably meant he would have tried to see her. Probably meant he would have told he respected her and maybe something else. Something all the other men on earth didn't seem to be interest in where she was concerned. She touched his chin. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"I'm not nice," he said curtly.

"Yes, you are. You saved my life. You kept me from being raped. You comforted me when I was crying. And then you told me that you thought I was attractive when you first met me, but because I was young and vulnerable you would have never have acted on it. That's really nice." What she did next, she wouldn't have dreamed of doing half an hour ago, but after what he had confessed, it seemed the most natural thing in the world. She put her arms around his neck. "You are a very nice man, Ham Tyler." She whispered and then kissed his check.

He pulled away an inch or two. She could see his eyes. They were amber orbs. His hands tilted her face upward and he kissed her back on the lips! She remembered being kissed by Bryan. Even when she wanted it, the kiss still felt like something slimy had invaded her mouth. It had been the same way with John. That should have tipped her off. Ham's kiss was different. When his tongue slid between her lips supernovas exploded behind her eyelids. Her body plunged into a fiery chasm than sprang back up propelled through the atmosphere out into the airless expanse of the void. She was floating and his arms caught her. His strong arms seemed made to hold her, but he stopped kissing her. His arms left her back. He laid her against the wall and when he finally spoke stretched out each word to its limit. "Do not do this because you think you have to."

She reached for him looping her arms around his neck. "I'm not. You don't think I'm a whore because of Bryan and John?"

"No."

"You don't think I'm a monster for killing Bryan?" she asked.

He shook his head. "He needed killing."

"Then I want to be with you." She kissed him, first his check, and then his mouth. His mouth didn't stay closed for long. Lightening rippled down her back. His left arm went back around her, so strong, but not confining. He reached for the light and suddenly they were wrapped in darkness. "Why did you do that?" she asked.

"I work better in the dark." His voice was different. Deep, but less harsh, it warmed her like the vodka. She felt his lips. He was smiling. He certainly didn't do that often, at least not pleasant smiles. She heard the sounds of buckles and a zipper being undone, boots dropping on the floor and he ripped open a Velcro fastener. He did all that without taking his arm way from her back. Then two warm, muscular arms surrounded her. His mouth was on hers again. She was still from the first kisses, but she didn't want him to stop. Warm tingles invaded every crevice. She didn't ever want that to stop.

"You taste better than I imagined like watermelon on a hot day or fresh honey," he said.

Who was this man? He didn't sound like Ham Tyler. He didn't act like him either. She became aware that he had lifted her T-shirt over her head and was suddenly glad for the pitch-black darkness around them. He picked up her breasts. Her nipples felt like two hot little coals burning away all the coldness in her body, so nice, but she didn't like what sometimes happened next. "Don't bite?"

An uncomfortable silence followed. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't like being bitten there. It hurts too much." She explained.

He caressed her nipples. That felt really good. Tingling shivers shot down her chest.

"Did one of them bite you?" he asked.

She wanted to just nod, but realized in the darkness he couldn't see that. "Bryan did. I asked John not to, so he didn't. Maybe it's a Visitor thing."

"That wasn't a Visitor thing. That was a sexual sadist thing." He eased her down unto a pillow. "It feels good if it's done right."

"Done right?"

"Yeah, like this." He continued massaging her left breast. She felt a cushion of wet silk rubbing against her other breast. That was his tongue! Then his mouth surrounded the nipple. He rolled the sensitive little button against his lips and very gently started to suck. The fire that had been growing in her belly spread its tentacles out to all her extremities. Warmth flooded her senses. Done right it certainly did feel good. So good, she couldn't stop murmurs of pleasure swelling in her throat. If Ham noticed the noise, he didn't react except to move over to the unplundered breasts. His hands roamed lower on her body to the soft places she did not often touch. And apparently she hadn't known as well as he did how to touch her body there because the reactions he was producing, it was astounding. All the heat seemed to pour into her sex. But it wasn't enough to stop the cravings. Tingling jolts of electricity plagued her now. She wanted more. She needed something to satisfy growing hunger for pleasure. Ham's voice came through the steamy fog.

"How was that?" he asked.

"I feel hot and restless," she murmured.

"Perfect."

She felt him move away only by a few inches, but it wasn't good, not when she wanted him so much closer. She tried to reach for him, but didn't know really where he was. He grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Putting on a condom," he said.

"Thanks." She knew he was probably use to condoms from avoiding diseases during his soldier of fortune days. Still, it was gallant that she didn't have to ask him to use birth control.

"You don't have to thank me for not being a jerk," he said.

A moment later he was back on top of her warm and ready. He massaged her legs further apart and then she felt his hard manhood against her thighs. It wasn't like with Bryan or John. Their bodies had felt wrong down there and she had come to realize that wasn't her inexperience. She wasn't even certain what male Visitor sex organs were like, but even wrapped in fake flesh they weren't conductive to a human woman's pleasure. He entered her slowly giving her time to adjust she realized and pulled her into a firm embrace at the final inch.

"Mm, you feel nice," he whispered.

She should say something, right? But she didn't know what to say. She never imagined having sex with Ham Tyler or that he could be like this in bed. Tender, passionate, he had said more to her in few minutes of foreplay than any boyfriend ever. She should respond, but when she opened her mouth he kissed her. His tongue started to probe her at the same rate his manhood did. Friction sizzled between their bodies. They coasted on waves of pleasure. The murmurs in her throat became moans and Ham told her not to stop. She dug her fingernails into his back and tasted the sweat on his shoulder. Suddenly, the world stopped. A surge of pleasure riveted her to the bed and she couldn't move. Truly, nothing in the world could feel as intensely wonderful as her body did at that moment. She was vaguely aware of Ham kissing her chin and then collapsing into the pillow by her head. It wasn't until the pleasure had completely ebbed away that she realized he was no longer inside her.

"Still hot and restless?" he asked.

"No, satisfied and sleepy," she said.

He pulled her closer until he had one arm completely around her back and her head was lying on his chest. It wasn't like she had imagined lying on a pillow after teenage dreams of rock stars and famous actors. His skin was hot and hairy and she could feel the muscles underneath. A rough ridge was under her check. She realized it was probably a scar. Still it wasn't unpleasant to be held this way just not what she expected.

"It's my turn to thank you," he said.

"Why?" She asked.

"That was great," he said.

The night was nothing, but surprises. "Really?"

In the pitch-dark blackness where she couldn't see her own hand in front of her face let alone the expression on his face, his voice became velvet. "Really."

Again she didn't know what to say. What was the proper after sex etiquette? Did she even care? She moved up and kissed his check. "You're welcome. You're my first human." For a moment, it felt like he shivered. Then his arms tightened around her. She heard him say her name, but nothing more. "What were you going to say?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said.

She kissed his chest. His male nipples were only a few inches from her lips. She wondered if he was as sensitive there as she was and touched the tip with her tongue. She felt him buck up at the touch, but realized it wasn't a bad thing. "I want to know. Tell me."

"You're the first woman since my wife I haven't paid for," he admitted.

"Does that mean I'm special or stupid?" she said.

"It means you're Robin. The rest of them, I don't remember their names."

She felt him kiss her forehead. It wasn't arousing, but it wasn't like a kiss from a friend either. It was comfortable lying on him even with chest hairs and scars pressed against her check. I'm Robin! Not the girl that got raped by a Visitor. Not the mother of the Star Child. Not martyr Dr. Robert Maxwell's daughter. I'm just Robin to him.

"Can you sleep like this?" he asked.

"Uh huh," she replied. The day was finally catching up with her and she was exhausted though she did enjoy some of the exhaustion. At the very least, exhaustion held fear at bay and she didn't think about the danger they were in. And when another worry rose up to confront her, whether or not she had just made another serious lapse in judgment with a man, she pushed it away. She would face the consequences tomorrow. For now all she wanted to do was feel safe in his arms.