Okay, so originally this song-fic was going to be a stand alone, but then I thought, "What if this happened...?" and ended up writing the second half. This one is "Strawberries" and the second is "Daisies". It'll make sense when you read it. The second is not a song-fic but go with me here, okay? Also the style with which I wrote is a little different between the two. I have two different styles that I use depending on the type of story. *sigh* I hope you enjoy them anyway.

Note: Part I covers one of the theories that I have about Yukiru according to the manga. Does everyone remember when everyone went to the beach house and Akito decided to show up? And then suggested to Yuki that he thought of Tohru as a mother? Yeah, that's all kind of important. Machi is not included in this story simply because I don't have enough time. I have theories about her as well.

Disclaimer: Song (What Hurts The Most *yeah, over-used, I know*) copyright goes to Rascall Flatts and Cascada. I really don't know who wrote it, but they both have done the song, so... I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. All copyright goes to Natsuki Takaya and I make no profit from this work. Yeah, I mean seriously, I'm only twisting her characters to my own selfish desires... My life is sad. Hopefully at least some people can take joy from my humble offerings.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me

OoOoO

Yuki lifted his face to the rain as it poured down in the middle of the night. He shivered but didn't go back inside. There was no one there, specifically she wasn't there. He was as far away from her as he had ever been and then some.

Tohru.

It was too late for him now. He'd waited too long to realize the truth about how he felt about her. And now he was, back home from college to attend her wedding.

"Yuki-kun!" Shigure's voice startled him, and he straightened to see his cousin standing not far away, obviously on his way inside, an umbrella held over his head. "What are you doing outside in weather as terribly depressing as this?"

Yuki didn't say anything a moment, glad that the rain soaking his hair and running down his face hid the tears. After he gained enough composure he said, "I thought you were with Akito."

"I forgot something I meant to bring for her, so I came back for it. But that doesn't dismiss that you are painting a lonely picture in my front yard." Shigure waved a finger at him. "Haa-san wouldn't want you out in this weather."

Yuki regarded him silently for the space of a second. "I won't be out long. Just do what you came to do and go back to Akito."

Shigure told Yuki not to traipse water through his house and then went in himself.

Yuki closed his eyes and felt the rain pelt his face once more. "Honda-san… Tohru," he whispered. "I love you." His words, once more, went unheard.

OoOoO

What hurts the most was being so close

And having so much say and watching you walk away

And never knowing what could have been

And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do

OoOoO

When the reception finally came to a close, Yuki had yet to say what he'd really wanted to say to the bride. He never would, he knew. He'd been watching Tohru all night, and he wouldn't dream of ruining her happiness.

How was it that Kyo could make her smile like that and he couldn't? What had he done wrong over the years? He knew what it had been; he'd taken the love he felt for her as a desire for her to be some form of a mother figure, and because of that she'd grown farther apart from him in a romantic sense. How wrong he'd been.

Akito had been the first to openly suggest it to him. And like all her other words, he'd taken it to heart. Mulled over it. Turned it around and around inside his mind until he believed it to be the truth. He wouldn't deny that a mother's love was something he severely lacked, but with the breaking of the curse the grip of everything Akito had ever told him loosened and fell away.

It had him left raw and unsure of where to go next. He'd realized, though, that although some of what he'd looked for in Tohru had been a mother, there had been something much more as well. Something deeper. All that time he'd been trying to convince himself to see her as a mother, he'd been trying to love her as something else too.

"Oh! Here you are, Yuki-kun!" Tohru smiled and came toward him. "It's almost time for Kyo and I to go. We don't want to miss the flight."

She'd been looking for him? He hadn't been hiding, although he wasn't exactly easy to find either. He'd found a place to watch the reception in shadow after a while, finding it hard to fully participate without letting too much show. He said, "I hope you make it there all right."

"I'm sure we will." There was a silence between them until she broke it. "I never thanked you for coming, but it does mean a lot to me that you came back for the wedding. Thank you."

"It would have been rude not to. Besides, you're important to me." It was a small fraction of what he felt, but she was already gone anyway. To tell her now wouldn't do anything but ruin what they had left. She'd already slipped through his fingers.

Tohru glanced at a nearby clock. "I have to go. Take care, Yuki-kun. I'll call you when we get back next month, okay?"

Yuki nodded, feeling numb, even though he still somehow kept smiling for her sake.

"Oh, yes. The last time we said goodbye, I forgot something." Tohru quickly wrapped her arms around him, taking Yuki by surprise. "You're important to me too, Yuki-kun."

They'd never hugged before. Yuki had seen her hug nearly all the other ex-members of the Jyuunshi, but had always seemed to miss the opportunity himself. Now, he held her close, knowing that if he had only realized sooner what she really meant to him things might have been different and he would have been the first she embraced after the curse lifted and not the last.

She stepped back, said goodbye, and left. She was gone.

OoOoO

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doing it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still harder; getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret

But I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away

All the words that I saved

That I left unspoken

OoOoO

Yuki traced the lines of the table absently. He could hear Haru and Rin's conversation but he wasn't really listening. His mind was elsewhere. At the wedding last week, and in Paris. Right now, he knew that he was the last thing on Tohru's mind even though she was the first thing on his.

Rin's voice snapped at him, "What the hell? Didn't you hear me?"

Yuki looked up at her. She was nestled in the crook of Haru's arm and the first thing Yuki thought of was what it might be like to have his arm around Tohru that way.

"You haven't heard a word, have you?" Haru asked.

"No, sorry." Truthfully, Yuki was feeling lonely. As if he was standing in a room full of people, all of them paired off, and he was the only one who was standing by himself. Haru and Rin were a couple. Hiro and Kisa were. Shigure and Akito. Hatori and Mayu were looking promising. Ayame and Mine. Uotani and Kureno. Hanajima and Kazuma. Kagura had met some one recently and Momiji was spending time with Momo, absorbing it happily, although they weren't together romantically, of course.

Kyo and Tohru were in Paris on their honeymoon.

He was alone. The only one.

Haru was giving him a strange look and Yuki quickly put on smile. "I just didn't get enough sleep last night is all. What were you saying, Rin?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter anymore." She gave him an appraising look. "You do seem out of it, though."

"It's nothing," he lied. It wasn't nothing. It was something that was tearing him apart piece by piece until there wasn't anything left.

If he hadn't been a morning person before, he was even less so now. He'd grown used to not having Tohru's meals while he was at college and now that he was back home for a few weeks he didn't want the reminder that she was lost to him when he came downstairs to take-out breakfast. But that was really only part of it. He didn't know how to move on from something that he'd been blind to for so long.

All the feelings he had seemed too fresh to simply just dismiss. He couldn't send them away. And yet there was no place for them to stay either; they hung in the air without purpose or meaning. Every day the thought that Tohru was so far out of his reach utterly destroyed him. He couldn't make himself wake up each morning and face it, knowing that dreams were much kinder than real life ever could be.

OoOoO

What hurts the most is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing what could have been

And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

OoOoO

Yuki stared at the overgrown garden that he and Tohru had once worked on together. Weeds had choked vegetables that had once thrived under her gentle care. They looked similar to how he felt. Choked and dying.

He hadn't gardened since he'd left, and now he got down and cleared all the weeds away from one strawberry plant, loosening the earth around with his fingers for lack of tools. It needed water, but he didn't want to go get any and it was due to rain again anyhow.

He sat and stared at the small bush not caring if he got dirty. Mercifully, he'd be leaving this place for college the next day. He wouldn't have to be somewhere that was so filled with her that he couldn't breathe. He felt like a child staring through the glass at an item they'd saved months to purchase only to see not only had the price gone up but some one else had it reserved.

Once he left he wouldn't see everything that reminded him of her, and he might be able to let go. He knew he had to, because if he didn't he wasn't sure what would become of him. He might stay the shell of person that he'd been for the last few days.

Yuki took out the carefully sealed envelope he'd brought with him. Inside was a letter he'd written to Tohru the previous night. Pages long and full of all the things he'd kept to himself that he would never dream of telling her. Without a shovel, he couldn't dig very deep but he dug just deep enough to bury it there in the garden. It had been their place and it seemed fitting to try and leave all of his feelings there.

Pressing the soil down firmly, he sat back on his heels. "I love you, Honda-san," he whispered. It would the last time he'd ever say it, he promised himself before getting up and walking away.

One half dead strawberry bush stood guard over all of the emotions he'd buried beneath it.

So I hope you enjoyed it! maybe you cried? Or just hated it? Whatever your feelings please review and tell me! I live for reviews and will send you a PM in thanks. I beg you to review Part I before reading Part II! I know that (hopefully) you want to read the second part right away, but it only takes a minute to type out a review. Please? Or even come back and review this separately later? *pouts* I put my hope in you!