NOTE FROM AUTHOR: Well poppet, this is the last chapter for Courage to Feel. It is most definitely the longest I've ever written and I'm quiet proud of it. Instead of stretching this out over four different chapters, though I easily could, I thought I would make it a little special one chapter deal. So you get a ... somewhat longer chapter than normal. Besides that, I want to thank you all for helping me get through writing this with all your GREAT commentary and reviews. This has so far been my most popular fanfiction and while I'm sad to see it end, I know that it has been an entertaining ride for all of us. :) Please remember that I have other stories for you to read if you just check my profile. I will be finishing up Bats are Blind next which is proving to be as fun as this one has been. I love you all and appreciate the loveI've recieved in the form of reviews. Thank you so Much~ ROSEY

Chapter 16– Years Make Changes

It had been eight long and hard years. First there had been the Sensui incident that had kept Kurama from finding Leila. How would he ever find her if the world was ended and Demons had free reign over all the worlds? Then he'd been training for the first Makai Tournament. That had been important as well.

By the end of that, it had been four long years. He figured that even if he found Leila, they would never be able to hit it off like they had before. How would he be able to explain the four years of other things getting in his way of finding and saving her? He was only reassured by Hiei who said that when he looked in on her she wasn't being hurt.

Kurama now found himself standing in the stadium that had been erected for the second Makai Tournament to see who would be the next king or queen of Demon world for the next four years. He stood with Yusuke and Hiei once more, waiting to be told who he was fighting. His hair, which he had kept long, was pulled back into a braid that was intertwined with the seeds that would allow him to win his fights. He turned as a disturbance wrecked the crowd. It was so tense that the explosion of sound coming from two children shocked everyone.

A young girl with short brown hair and eyes of sapphires ran through the crowded demons, laughing as a boy followed her. "You can't catch me Aidan!" she called to the boy. The boy had small white ears and a white tail. His short white hair was spiked to keep it out of his green eyes.

"Come back here Nadia!" the boy called gleefully after her. "Watch out!" He skidded to a stop as the girl kept running, dodging one demon's feet before running smack dab into Kurama, who was curiously watching them. The girl would have fallen back if he hadn't reached down and grabbed her shoulder to keep it from happening.

When she looked up at the twenty four year old man, Kurama found himself staring at a young version of Leila. His heart stopped and he was afraid to blink. What if when he did blink, this vision would disappear and allow him to feel sad over his lose again? He couldn't let that happen.

"I'm sorry mister!" the girl said with a giggle before blinking. "Are you okay mister? You look like you've seen a ghost and I must say your emotions are very confusing!" The boy came to stand next to her, protectively hovering there, watching the man as if he didn't trust him at all.

"Oh, there you are you two!" came a voice that was music to Kurama's ears. He looked up from the girl-child and his eyes fell on what he would have called an angel.

Leila came running through the gap that her children had created through the demons, apologizing as she went by. She was so focused on finding her children that she only noticed who it was that had stopped their tirade through the stadium's corridors when she looked up after making sure they were okay. Sapphire eyes widened as they met emerald green ones. The children, Yusuke, and Hiei were looking between the two adults as if watching some kind of old Western shootout.

Slowly, the young woman rose to stand, her hands pulling her children closer to her body, protectively. She had changed as well. In eight years she had grown to be almost the same height as Kurama. Her hair had grown out and was currently braided over one shoulder where it rested. A black trench coat was over a black shirt that fit her body and a pair of blue jeans. Across her back, a sword was strapped. She had picked it up when her mother and she had been attacked during her pregnancy.

The silence stretched as the two stared at each other some more. That is until Nadia couldn't stand the silence any more.

"Mama, why are you two staring at each other like that?"

This statement broke each of them out of the staring contest that they had had going. Leila swallowed and turned her attention on Nadia and Aidan. "Nadia, dear, I've told you. Demons will want to steal you away from me if you keep running around like you have. You are very precious to me. Please stop. Aidan, love, thank you for staying with your sister," she told the two children before looking over at Kurama, wondering if he would put it together or not.

"L-Leila?" he asked after she was done, reaching out before another hand entered both of their visions and grasped it tightly. Lady Serena stood there, seemingly by magic, dressed in a beautiful black kimono with pink blossoms on it.

"So," she whispered, pursing her lips, "You have found the little darlings daughter." She looked back at her daughter with a tilt of her head before looking down at her grandchildren.

"Yes mother. Do you think you could take them back to our seats?" Leila said, her eyes flickering back to Kurama before smiling at her mother. "I'll need to find my group soon and I don't want these two trouble makers getting demon's attention any more than they already have."

After receiving hugs from both of the children and wishes of luck, Serena, with a disgusted look at Kurama, took the children away, and left the two adults standing there awkwardly. Kurama was surprised to find that both Hiei and Yusuke had disappeared to somewhere. Leila nibbled her bottom lip and reached out her powers very carefully. Her mother had indeed returned her powers after she was sure that Leila wasn't going to run off again.

Panic was the first emotion she tasted off Kurama. She frowned at that. What did he have to panic about? She'd been the one who left. Was he afraid that she would be angry? And then surprise—good surprise—entered her system off him. She was happy about that one. She jerked her magic back and turned as he was about to say something. She had also felt that demons were looking at them, waiting for something to happen. When Kurama started to protest, she looked back and motioned to an empty open sided hallway and then continued on her way.

Kurama needed no encouragement. It was like seeing an angel descending back to his plane of existence and wanting to speak with him despite him being a sinner. He strolled along with her to the hallway.

When they were alone, Leila turned to look at him. For almost two minutes all they did was stare at each other, taking in their appearance. Leila was at a loss of what to say. Instead she turned and went to the open windows that allowed a cool breeze to fill the walkway. She heaved herself up so that she sat on the sill, looking out over the fifty foot drop to the ground below her.

When she'd first left she had thought several times of just dying and going to Lord Koenma and asking for a recycle. She'd be given a new mother and father that might actually care about her. And then she had gotten the morning sickness that had told her that her mother had been right about the children forming in her. From that moment on, all she cared about was getting the things that would remind her so much of the man she had left out so she could care for them and make them like him—kind, loving, a demon with a heart.

"Who were those children?" he finally asked after watching her there as the wind played with a few strands of loose hair. "Have you…?"

He wanted to know if she had slept with a demon besides him since their separation of eight years, she realized with a quick run over his feelings. He was worried about her life being in danger. Kurama didn't want it to be true but was willing to accept it. That hurt her a little but she refused to let it show. It had, as she reminded herself, been eight years. For all she knew he had found someone else as well.

"That was Nadia and Aidan. They are almost eight years old." She said, looking at him with a small, happy smile. She saw the spark of intelligence that he had always had flare in his eyes and knew he had connected the lines quickly. "Aren't they lovely? He has your eyes Aidan does. And I'm going to assume that the ears and tail is from you as well, well your demon half at least."

"They are… mine?" he asked, stunned. He had been young and reckless he supposed. They had never used protection because they had simply been children at the time. Now he was able to see what had been the effect of the fun.

"Yes. I'm not married to anyone else nor have I slept with anyone. Nadia is an empath like me. For whatever reasons the gods have chosen, the boy is following your footsteps. He's already been able to produce a whip out of a seed if he tries hard enough." Leila said with happiness.

When he had found out about that ability, the day had become one of the funniest days of her existence. He had gone around and whipped his grandmother like a cow for several hours before Leila returned from a job and put a stop to it. Serena had never been allowed to hurt him. That was something that Leila had drilled into her mother. Leila was no longer the weak willed young girl Serena had sent out to find her demon master. It was almost a reverse situation now with Leila being the 'head' of the family while her mother took care of the children.

There was silence as Kurama digested the information that he was a father and the young woman took the time to watch him and taste his emotions again. There it was again, panic. And then a sudden burst of pride that slackened into regret.

"Kurama," Leila whispered, dropping down from the sill and walking forward. Eight years had gone a long way to tell her that she had done the right thing in leaving Kurama. But it hadn't eradicated the fact that they had had love.

"Wait, let me first," Kurama whispered, raising a hand to touch her lips, keeping her from speaking. "Dear Leila, had I known you were pregnant, I would have searched. I would have."

Leila laughed softly, as if this had been one of the stupidest things she had ever heard. "Kurama, I didn't want you to find me." She said, shaking her head as if she were speaking to a silly, mad person.

"You didn't?" Kurama asked; hurt filling him which she felt.

"Kurama, don't understand. I did—I still do I think—love you. But it wasn't practical." Leila said, pulling her head away from the fingers that were still touching her lips. Her skin tingled where her lips had touched Kurama's fingers. "I was a girl you'd taken in out of the goodness of Shiori's and your hearts. Shiori couldn't have taken care of two more children; especially one that has ears and tail. We were both under the human legal age of eighteen. They would have taken you away for some kind of law breaking had anyone found out."

Leila almost continued before a small group of demons neared, calling her name. She turned and looked at them and frowned. How had she not felt them near? She sighed and closed her eyes before turning back to Kurama. "Listen, I have to go speak with my friends over there. Let's hope that we don't run into each other during the tournament." She said with a smile that conveyed that she really hoped that wouldn't be the case.

With that said she turned and started towards her demon 'friends' before stopping. She looked back at him over her shoulder. He looked so stunned and alone in that moment that she couldn't resist. She turned from her route and ran back to his side. She didn't hesitate or hold back. She had learned the mistake of doing that long ago.

Leila learned up and placed a deep and love filled kiss on the red heads lips, her hands clutching in his shirt front before she pulled back. Her sapphire eyes locked with his as she heard gasps and cheers from the demons behind her. Her cheeks turned a light red as she turned and rushed off before either of them could say anything or ruin the moment.

After the Preliminaries

Kurama was still feeling slightly shocked from the kiss he had gotten from the young mother. He hadn't let it affect his fighting, though it definitely made him keen on winning at least this stage to impress her. He thanks every power out there that he hadn't met her in the preliminaries. He had found his way to a small table in a cafeteria of sorts that he hoped Leila would go to after the fights were over. They would announce the fights over loud speaker when it was time for them to fight.

Hiei appeared before him and sat down. "Didn't I tell you that she was okay?" Hiei asked as Mukuro appeared a moment later. Since the First Makai Tournament, the two had been nearly inseparable.

"You could have told me that she was having my children!" Kurama said glumly.

"It wouldn't have changed what had been going on at the moment. You needed to focus on fighting Sensui and then fighting in the Makai tournament." Hiei pointed out calmly. "You wouldn't be here to see the little brats now if I had told you that she was pregnant. You would have lost your cool wondering how you could help her out. You forget Kurama, I know you."

Before Kurama could reply a pair of white ears popped up over the edge of the table and then a pair of green eyes. Aidan, Kurama reminded himself. The green eyes were wide with wonder as he stared up at the three demons and then focused in on Kurama. "Is it true that you are a friend of mothers?" He asked. He seemed scared, or worried, or both.

Kurama sat up at once and gave the child his full attention. "Yes. I am Kurama. This is Hiei and Mukuro. Hiei knew your mother as well. How can I help you Aidan?" he asked in the calmest voice he could muster. He hadn't gone to look at the score boards after the preliminaries. What if the young woman had been hurt in her fight?

"Mama keeps saying your name in her sleep. She won't wake up no matter what the healer demons do. I even tried some seeds that I've been working with, but she won't wake up to that either," he told Kurama. It was obvious to the man that the child was working very hard to keep the tears he wanted to cry hidden away. Who would blame the child? At a young age, anyone who lived in demon world would know to hide their true emotions or they could be used against them.

Kurama was out of his seat the moment he said that she wouldn't wake up. "Lead the way young Aidan. I'll see if I can do anything. I work with seeds and plants as well. Maybe if your mother says it's okay I can teach you a few things in the future," he said as he held out a hand for the child to take. He should have gone and checked to make sure she made it through her matches before going to get food. He berated himself as the child dragged him towards the infirmary.

There is a great many things that I should have done over the years. The only thing I can do now is make up for it however I can, he finally told himself as he slipped past a few doctors to enter a room that had demons clustered around the doorway.

"What do you think you are doing here?" came a sharp voice from near the bed where Leila lay, twitching in her comatose sleep.

Kurama's green eyes landed on her mother and he growled. Aidan looked worriedly up at Kurama and tugged away to go join his twin on the bed at Leila feet. "I came to see if I can wake Leila from the coma." He finally said after biting back his anger at the woman that sat as if she had the right to stand next to the daughter she had allowed to be tortured for so many years by a demon of pain and fear.

"I want you out of here—"Serena started to say.

"I do not care one flipping death plant what you want lady." Kurama said, cutting her off. "You took her from me before and have hurt her more than anyone else in the world. If anything you should be the one that leaves."

Serena gasped and was about to argue when she tempted fate and touched his emotions. Anger more poisonous than pure nicotine which could kill a person slammed into her defenses before she could throw her shield up. She stumbled back away from the bed. A pain filled cry rang from her lips and a whimper came from Leila whose shields were down as well.

"Stop! You two are hurting mommy! And you are hurting my head." Nadia cried, curling up on the bed next to Leila's leg.

This brought Kurama back to his senses and he sighed. "I'm sorry Nadia. I should have been more considerate." He told the girl with a small smile before turning his full attention back on the young woman who was the mother of his children. He touched her forehead, checked her pulse and then started to pull a few seeds out of his braid, loosen it up so that it formed the normal bushy ponytail that Leila had so often seen as a teenager.

Aidan watched him carefully, as if he were taking mental notes on how to do certain things having to do with his abilities. Kurama didn't mind and had been telling the truth about teaching the young fox demon. But he didn't have time to be slow for the kid at the moment.

He worked for several hours before he was able to make something that got her pulse to quicken and her mind waves to start waking up. He was exhausted and knew that the serum would take an hour or so to work its magic. He sat down in the chair that Serena had left open and fell asleep the moment his head fell back.

She was standing there, looking down at him as he looked up at her from the bed. She was beautiful in a purple and gold kimono. She started to undress and stepped forward.

"Kurama, wake up. Mommy's waking up!" She said…

Kurama blinked opened his eyes to find himself staring up at the ceiling. A hand was shaking his shoulder. He looked over at a young Nadia before he pushed himself up to look at the bed in front of him. He must have slept longer than it had felt, for there was Leila sitting up with the help of Aidan.

Kurama jerked from the chair and rushed to her side, sitting on the bed next to her to support her on the side that was free. She winced as she rubbed the back of her neck.

Leila still didn't see who it was that was helping her. She just wanted to kick whatever demon had hurt her. "I'm sorry kiddos," she said when she saw Nadia and Aidan. "I guess I don't get to be queen this year."

"I can't believe you are making a joke like that at this moment in time." Kurama said, choking her out of the post battle damage assessment she was giving herself.

"Kurama helped bring you back out of your coma!" Nadia said as she bounced upon to the bed. "You should have seen him and Grandmother Serena go at it over it. He was all like grrrr—"

"Yeah!" Aidan said enthusiastically, joining his sister, "And grandmother was all 'aaaaaaaaah'." He mimicked the scream that she had produced when she had felt the blind rage that Kurama had been holding onto. While the two recounted the life saving things that Kurama did like he was their new hero, he proceeded to check her pulse and her forehead for fever before setting up the pillows behind her so that she could relax back without help.

Kurama then rose and smiled down at her. "How are you feeling, seriously, Leila?"

"I feel like I got punched in the stomach several times before having someone hit me in the back of the head. How else am I supposed to feel Kurama?" She asked sarcastically before laughing softly. "You didn't have to do all that they say you did. You could have missed your next fight."

Kurama looked at his watch and couldn't help but smile. "You always were good at telling the future." He said and shrugged. "I missed it. It started a few hours ago. I was more worried about you and your condition."

Leila gaped up at him. He had missed his fight for her? She let the shields that had gone up when she gained consciousness drop back down and reached out. No more panic. She was grateful for that. No more pain or despair. Only love when his gaze came back and locked with hers.

She was about to say something when a female demon came running in and almost tackled the girl off the bed.

"Oh, Leila, I heard you were wounded and wouldn't wake! Serena said they had some non-expert working on you and was most likely going to kill you!" the girl demon said, giving Leila a hug so tight that it almost cut off the air to Leila's lungs.

Kurama took this cue as it was time to leave. Quietly he slipped from the room and started away. He was about a hundred paces away when Leila came stumbling out of her room.

"Kurama wait!" she called. Kurama turned to look at her. Leila stumbled towards him, still recovering from the lack of movement. She used the wall to support her until she was closer to Kurama. Leila's sapphire eyes locked with his and for moment it hit him just what he had given up when he hadn't gone to look for her.

"What is it Leila?" he whispered, stepping forward to catch her as she took a weak step forward. She looked up at him then.

"I think I understand." Leila whispered.

"Understand what?" Kurama asked, blinking.

"Remember the day up on the hospital roof? The day you used the Forlorn hope? You told me that if I opened myself that I'd understand why a human was so important to you." She said, remembering the time well. Kurama nodded, still not understanding where this was going.

"I understand why you said that. I understand why you looked down on me when you first met me. I understand what it means to be human and I think," she paused looking down and choosing her words very carefully for this last part. "I believe that I have the courage to feel the emotions of a human. I believe that you have given me that despite the years separated between us."

Despite all their love making the next three words had never been said.

"Kurama, I do believe that I love you." Leila finally said after grasping for the words for a moment. The words made her lips tingle as they hadn't since she had spent the night in Kurama's arms all those years ago.

It took a few moments for all this to be understood by Kurama. But when it was, he seemed to lose all control. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him, his lips seeking out hers. She had no idea how those words had uplifted his heart at hearing them.

When he pulled away, his green eyes sparkled.

"I do believe that I love you as well Leila." Kurama said in a husky voice.

They were about to return to kissing when a small, girl voice interrupted them. "So does this mean we get a daddy now?" Nadia asked from the doorway. The female demon who had hugged Leila, Nadia, and Aidan waited, watching them as if they were watching a romance movie. Aidan was looking disgusted at the kissing, though there was hope in his eyes that he would get to grow up with Kurama. Nadia and the demon were watching and waiting for something magical to happen.

Leila turned to look at her daughter with bright cheeks before looking up at Kurama. "What do you say Kurama? Nadia wants to know if she gets a father." she asked.

Kurama seemed to think for a few moments, stretching the moment out a bit. "I think that she will, if you'll have me Leila." he finally said. Leila grinned up at him and answered him by kissing him once more. This was a long, dedicated kiss that he returned.

Oblivious to them, Aidan, Nadia and the demon were cheering as more demons came to see what was going on. Leila pulled away and looked up at him and gave a smile that matched his. She knew that she had made the right choice; Kurama would be wonderful no matter what.