Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or it's characters.

Summary: Zim is a space pirate and Captain of the Resisty, the most notorious band of space pirates in the universe. Dib is the son of Professor Membrane, who is the greatest and richest scientist in the universe. What happens when Captain Zim decides to pull his greatest heist by kidnapping Dib? AU, ZADR, OOC R&R, please.

Captain Zim was sitting in his Captain's chair with a bored look on his face and his head being propped up by his hand. He was twirling a stray piece of thread from his uniform 'til it broke. He sighed. He looked around at his crew who were quickly typing commands into the ship. They were in the middle of escaping the Massive. Again. They had just stolen more snacks from Foodcourtia to stock up their supply, whilst unbeknownst to them the Massive also had plans to stopped at Foodcourtia to stock up on snacks. Lucky for them they had come sooner and got what was needed in time before the chase started.

The Massive belonged to their enemy the, Tallest and Irken Empire, the most powerful empire known which conquered other planets and did want they wanted with them. Though Captain Zim was also Irken, he was a defect and that meant instant banishment. Out of anger and frustration at the empire, Zim formed the Resisty with the help of other alien species who have escaped the hold of the Irken Empire.

They have been going up against the empire for five years now with no avail as neither have been able to do much damage to the other. The reason for this maybe do to their weapons which were always able to match up to the other. The Resisty had Vortian technology on their side. One of the only race the Resisty had been able to win back in their constant war and they had transported them further away from the Irken territory and supplies the Resisty with weapons for battle. Unfortunately, just as they had taken back the Vortian Empire an Invader had conquered another planet known as Earth. At first the planet seemed incredibly weak and it's inhabitants incredibly stupid, that is until they found Professor Membrane and his secret lab filled with weapons which could easily stand up against Vortian technology.

Ever since the Tallest, Irken leaders, had started paying Professor Membrane to make them new weapons the Massive has been able to hold the Resisty back from taking anymore planets. This had annoyed Zim immensely which had at first made him become very determined in taking back what the Irkens had made theirs, but it had been five years and in the course of this time no planet has been saved and no planet has been taken, the universe was at a complete stand still besides the ongoing battles. Zim was losing hope in destroying the Irken Empire having found the Resisty was making very little progress, even if they where holding the Massive back. Zim sighed again in his chair as they barely missed another shot from the Massive.

"Captain! Where do we go now?" Zim's right-hand man, Lard Nar, asked. He was a Vortian, and one of the first to join the Resisty. He had also been the one to supply the Resisty with the Vortain ship they were in now. Zim looked up in front of him to find a way to escape. He then spotted a asteroid belt not too far off.

"There. We can lose them in there." Zim said pointing to it. Lard Nar looked at him skeptical.

"Um...isn't that a bit dangerous, Sir?" Lard Nar asked carefully. Zim glared down at the Vortian, unamused with his comment.

"Zim said to go in the asteroid belt. Now do it." He hissed. Zim didn't like it when someone doesn't listen to them and he doesn't give a damn to who it is. The Vortain didn't want to get on his captain's bad side, so surly enough he repeated Zim's orders to the crew.

On the Massive

"Hurry don't let them get away this time!" Tallest Red yelled to the Irkens typing away on their computers.

"Yeah! Or no snacks!" Tallest Purple added. At this they typed more vigorously wanting anything, but their snacks to be taken away. Suddenly the Resisty's ship headed in the direction of an asteroid belt.

"Stop!" Yelled both Tallest. The Massive slowed to a stop and everyone aboard the ship and just watched in astonishment.

"They're not serious..." Tallest Red said disbelievingly, "they can't be that stupid!" But the ship did indeed enter the belt. At first the ship looked like it was going to get through but it was suddenly being hit with many asteroids and came out with the side facing the on coming asteroids looking like a complete wreck, but even so the ship was still moving and there was no way for the Massive to chase it without going through the asteroid belt as well.

"They got away." Red said heatedly.

"Well, I guess you guys aren't getting snacks!" Purple said to the drones teasingly while sticking his tongue out at them. The room filled with many disappointed groans as the Tallest left for their snack break.

On the Resisty

There were moans and groans as the members of the resisty pick themselves up from wherever they had land from impacted. Zim had been holding on to his chair for dear life and when he saw that they were safe he jumped up from his seat and yelled out his favorite word.

"VICTORY!" He threw his arms in the air to emphasize his joy. The crew let out more groans at their captains antics. Though Zim's attitude and personality were found to be extremely annoying, everyone knew Zim was a great captain, being that he has always found a way to get out something despite the cost without any casualties. He at least was a better captain than anyone else on the ship and Zim was pretty much born a leader. Not for good tactics or plans, but because of his power over others and luck.

Zim could intimidate anyone with his stare alone.

"Status!" Lard Nar ordered from the crew, ignoring Zim's happy mood.

"One engine has been taken out, this will not effect flying efficiency.. Power Core is stable. Only 23% of the ship had been damaged." Lard Nar sighed in relief. He had thought that they had suffered much more damage than that. He looked at Zim who was giving him a smug look.

"Zim told you so!" Zim had his arms crossed just to show how right he was. Lard Nar decided he didn't want to play Zim's "I'm always right" game right now. His captain was acting unusually happy, even if they had just escaped the Massive again. He turned his head back to the front of the ship and gave orders to return to planet "New Vort", cursing whoever gave it such a stupid name and cursing himself for letting them.

"Hey, Lard Nar guess what." Lard Nar raised a nonexistent eyebrow at Zim's strangely giddy voice.

"What?" He asked a little afraid of what it might be the way Zim's mouth curled into a discouraging smile.

"While we were running from the Massive I thought of a brilliant plan!" Zim said eagerly.

"And..." Lard Nar gulped scared of what it could be. "what is this plan?"

"It's come into recent view that the Tallest's friend, Professor Membrane, has a son." Zim started and waited for Lard Nar's response.

"And what might this have to do with us?" He questioned not sure were Zim was getting at.

"If we can somehow kidnap his son and threaten to kill him unless the Professor stops making weapons for the Massive victory will finally be ours!" Zim stated throwing his arms in the air for the second time. Lard Nar's eyes widened with skepticism.

"But Sir, how would we be able to find and acquire him?"

"I already know where to find him. I was told by a reliable source that he is located back on his home planet, Earth." Zim said confidently. Pretty much everything Zim is told is true. He is after all the one who opposes the Irkens. Any race enslaved or not would be willing to tell Zim anything he wanted if it meant being one step closer in destroying the Irken Empire. But Lard Nar still wasn't convinced.

"But that still leaves actually getting him. Earth is right in the middle of Irken territory. How do you expect to get anywhere close to Earth?" Of course Earth would be highly unreachable since it is the Massive's number one weapons producer and there's also the fact the Resisty had already taken a weapon producing planet once, there's no way the Tallest would let the anyone get near Earth without permission from them directly.

"I've got that covered as well. Tak has come up with not just any new weapons, but weapons from Earth!" Lard Nar's face went from skepticism to astonishment.

"What! How?" He knew Tak was a great weapons dealer, but that took the cake!

"She's not exactly sure where the people she got it from found it, but she gave me a break down of what kind of weapons she got and it's just what we need to sneak in and out of the Irken territory unnoticed!"

Zim stated enthusiastically. Lard Nar would have to see it to believe it first, but just from what Zim was telling him he was getting pretty pepped up as well.

"Well for now I think we should think your plan out more thoroughly before jumping right into it. And I'd like to see those weapons myself if you don't mind." Lard Nar decided it might just work so long as what Zim is telling him isn't as farfetched as it sounds. Zim simply nodded at this, but his smile showed he was sure it would work out. He could see it now, the entire Irken Empire's great fall. Oh yes. They will pay for what they have done, not just to Zim, but all of those who are forced to do pointless labor under the Tallest. Zim was practically jumping in his seat when New Vort came into view, ready to once again shove in Lard Nar's face that he was always right.

Yays! A new story! I've been planning this one for awhile now and I finally have it up! Please tell me what you think!