Random Cop: After we take the mug shots,
we bring them down here...
...where they wait to be interviewed
by the arresting officers.
Trust me, kids, you do not
wanna be sitting on these benches.
We call this place Loserville.
(Children Laughing)
Random Cop: Follow me.
All right, let's do it. Come on.
(Kid tries to take picture of Gaara)
(Camera Phone Click)
(Gaara Kick Phone Out Of Kids Hand)
Temari: Hello.
Naruto: Hey, Temari! It's Naruto.
Temari: Hey, Naruto.
Temari: Where are you guys?
Naruto: We are at the spa at the hotel.
Temari: Cool. We're just getting some sun.
Is Shikamaru around?
Naruto: Of course. Why wouldn't he be?
Temari: I'm just wondering
why you're calling me.
Naruto: Um...
We made a deal,
no talking to girlfriends or wives.
So we're all calling each other's.
Temari: Okay. What's up?
Naruto: Uh, you are not gonna believe this.
We got comped an extra night
at the hotel.
Temari: You did?
Naruto: Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous.
It's out of control!
There's, like, room service and a butler.
I mean, just the works.
We're thinking of spending the night...
...and we're gonna come back
in the morning.
Temari: You wanna stay an extra night?
But the wedding's tomorrow.
Naruto: That's why we're gonna get up early,
and we'll be back in plenty of time.
Temari: Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
Another Random Cop: Uzumaki, Uchiha, Sabaku. Room 3.
Naruto: Okay, Trace, I gotta go.
We'll talk to you later.
Temari: Uh...
Another Random Cop: Come on, chop-chop.
Naruto and Sasuke: Okay, spin around.
Gaara: That's it.
Sasuke: Goddamn it.
Naruto: Wait a second.
Sasuke: I'll go over. I'll go over.
Stop pulling.
Gaara: Can you just...? Hold on.
Naruto: We got it. Alan, just relax.
Sasuke: And then just... There we go.
Good.
Cop: Gentlemen.
We've got some good news,
and we've got some bad news.
The good news is
we found your Mercedes.
Sasuke: That's great news.
Naruto: That's great. See?
Cop: Yeah, it's over at impound right now.
We picked it up at 5 a.m. this morning...
...parked in the middle
of Las Vegas Boulevard.
Naruto:In the middle. That's weird.
Cop: Yeah, that is weird.
There was also a note.
It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter,
but here's 4 bucks."
The bad news is...
...we can't get you in front of a judge
until Monday morning.
Naruto: Oh, no, uh, officer,
that's just impossible.
No, we need to be in L.A.
tomorrow for a wedding.
Lady Cop: You stole a police car.
Sasuke: We didn't steal anything.
Um, we found it.
Gaara: Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward
or something, like a trophy.
Cop: I see assholes like you every day.
Lady Cop: Every fucking day.
Cop: Let's go to Vegas,
we'll all get drunk and laid!
Lady Cop: Yeah. Whoo! Woo-hoo.
Cop: Woo-hoo.
Let's steal a cop car,
because it'd be really fucking funny."
Lady Cop: Think you gonna get away with it?
Not up in here.
Cop: Not up in here!
Naruto: Oh.
Uh...
Sir...
...if I may, um...
...I'm assuming that that squad car
belongs to one of you.
Cop: Yeah.
Naruto: Yeah.
Look, I'm not a cop.
I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher.
But if one of my kids went missing
on a field trip...
...that would look really bad on me.
Cop: What are you getting at?
Sasuke: Yeah, Naruto, what are you getting at?
Naruto: No one wants to look bad.
We gotta get to a wedding...
...and you guys don't need people
talking about...
...how some obnoxious tourists
borrowed your squad car last night.
But look, the point is,
I think we can work out a deal.
Discreetly of course, ma'am.
What do you say?
(Lady Cop Slides Over Clipboard)
Cop: Hahahahaha
Let me ask you a question:
Do, uh, any of you gentlemen have a
heart condition or anything like that?
Naruto: Uh, no.
Cop: Okay, kids,
you're in for a real treat today.
These gentlemen have kindly volunteered
to demonstrate...
...how a stun gun is used
to subdue a suspect.
Kids: Ooh!
Sasuke: That's right.
Naruto: Wait a sec. What?
Cop: Now, there's two ways to use
a stun gun. Up close and personal.
Naruto: What the fuck?
Cop: Or you can shoot it from a distance.
Do I have any volunteers?
You wanna come up here
and do some shooting? Huh?
All right, how about you, young lady?
Come on up here. All right.
Let's go, handsome, come on.
(Gaara Walks Up)
Cop: Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back.
You, pretty boy.
Gaara: Fat Jesus.
Cop: All right, now,
it's real simple.
All you gotta do is point,
aim and shoot.
All right?
Naruto: Okay, look.
You don't really wanna do this.
Cop: You can do this. Just focus.
Naruto: Don't listen to this maniac.
Let's think this through.
Cop: Finish him!
Naruto: Oh, fuck.
Cop: Yeah!
Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.
Well done. Give her a hand, everybody.
Lady Cop: Good job. Good job.
Cop: Good job. Well done. Good job.
That was great.
Good. Hey, we got
one more charge left.
Anybody wanna do some
shooting up here?
How about you, big man?
Come on up here.
(Kid Gaara Kicked Phone From Walks Up In Slow Motion)
Cop: Okay, same instructions.
Just point, aim and shoot.
There you go. That's the stuff.
I like the intensity.
Eye of the tiger. Good.
You're holding 50,000 volts, little man.
Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.
In the face! In the face!
Oh, he's still up. He's still up.
Kids: Aah!
Gaara: No.
Cop: All right, everybody relax, take it easy.
We've seen it before.
He just needs a little extra charge.
There we go.
Some of these big boys,
you gotta give them two shots.
All right, kids, who wants to get
their fingerprints done, huh?
Come on, let's go.