The world was different this time around; it didn't feel like it felt every time after they had managed to save it. The Winchester brothers were not standing side by side whether in spirit or in actuality, there seemed to be a rift between them. Even as Sam glanced over to Dean, his eyes twinkling with questions that he was not voicing, the space between them didn't close. Dean seemed to take a step further away from his younger brother, feeling as if he was leaving his heart behind in the process. He didn't have to look back over his shoulder to see that pensive and questioning look on his brother's face; those questions he was not asking were weighing heavy on his shoulders. Rolling them a couple of time, Dean looked up toward the sky as he felt the familiar sting of tears on his lower lids. Fists balled up tightly, he was fighting every urge to turn around and face Sam and that desire almost won out that was until Castiel appeared. The angel broken, bruised and different but his presence easily seeped into Dean's very being so that he could steal his will against his big brother instinct.

Castiel reached out and touched Dean's forearm, the hunter pulled his arm back only far enough so that their hands were joined. Gripping tightly, Cas felt a jolt of pain in his palm but he ignored it along with the annoying itch of blood trickling down his forehead. Beat up severely, Castiel's face was nearly covered with bruises at this point and his lip split so severely that it was only held together by dry blood. There was a flash of concern in Dean's eyes, but Castiel gave a slight shake of his head before gesturing over the other's shoulder to Sam. Sam stood there with a confused look his face, eyes pleading with Castiel for some kind of answer as to why Dean was acting so strange but he got no answer. Just that usual blank slate of emotions, Sam could see that they were not as close as he and Dean were but he had hoped Castiel would help him understand what exactly was going on here.

"Dean," Sam let out thickly about to take a step forward but before his foot could even land a familiar individual landed between him and other two.

The angel Joshua still had his old vessel, the black man with graying hair and brown eyes filled with infinite wisdom. His hands were grasped at his waist, lying over the dirtied gardening gloves that had been tucked into the waist of his tattered jeans. Khaki collared shirt pristine unlike his hands which had dirt under the fingernails, but there was a placid look on his face that seemed to hold more emotion than Castiel's did.

"Hello, Sam," he said gently before turning to look at Castiel and Dean. "Dean. Castiel let me fix that for you."

Castiel bowed his head in acceptance of Joshua's hand on his hair, he felt warmth spread through his body and a flash of heat that almost burned but when he looked up and opened his mouth there was no more pain. He looked to Dean, he could see in his eyes that he was no longer beat up or bleeding. A silent thankful glance was given to Joshua, the angel gripped tighter to Dean's hand before slowly releasing it and urging him to turn around to face Sam.

Dean's shoulders still felt heavy and his gaze was glued to the ground as he turned around, slowly looking up to look his brother in the face. A strangled sound of pain left him, the bruise on Sammy's lower lip or the cut that was splitting his eyebrow made him ache. This was not the life that his little brother deserved and had always promised to take care of him; Dean knew he failed too many times to count. Those bruises were testament to that and this was the last time he'd be bruised over a war he should not be fighting. Those thoughts brought back a conversation he once had with Sam when they were young, when Sam was so hell bent on leaving their family.

Sam was still a good foot and a half shorter than he was and growing like a weed though Dean was sure his little brother was afraid he wasn't going to grow any more. They stood outside in the middle of a clearing in the woods in Montana, their father having left them behind yet again to go on a hunt. Dean was trying to teach Sam to shoot, his aim was atrocious and this was the only way he could think to make sure Sam could protect himself. A line of can's on a log over one hundred feet away were still standing perfectly upright, he'd missed every one of them. Sure, Sam could lay someone out in hand to hand combat, but Dean knew that was not the best way to face a monster.

"Concentrate, Sammy! You won't survive out there if you can't hit anything with a damn buckshot," Dean said seriously, but couldn't help but smile as he saw Sam roll his eyes. Once again, he reloaded the sawed off shotgun he'd made when he was twelve and held it out to Sam.

The youngest Winchester crossed his arms over his chest and looked to the gun before looking up at his big brother in defiance.

"I don't want to do this, Dean. You're just going to be an asshole about it."

"Hey, watch the language."

"Whatever, I don't want to do this anymore."

"You have to, Sammy."

"I told you, it's SAM."

"Whatever, you'll be Barbie if I want you to be. Now take the gun."

"I don't need to do this. I'm going to college; I don't want to be a hunter."

"You won't live long enough to go to college if you can't shoot a damn gun, Sammy."

"I don't want to do this, Dean! I don't know how you can stand it. I just want to be normal! I just want to have dinner with my family and have friends, I don't want this!"

The ping of pain in his chest was familiar, but only in that he knew it from the many times he heard Sam and John fight about this sort of thing. On one hand Dean could see why their father wouldn't want Sam to go and on the other he could see why Sam would want to leave. Hell, he could see why he should leave. Still he couldn't help feeling like it was a personal affront, John didn't take care of Sam and the fact that Sam wanted to leave Dean behind hurt. Dean shook the feeling and let out a sigh before he moved to place the shotgun on the ground with their bag of weapons.

"I know, Sammy. If anyone deserves normal it's you. But we don't have normal, this is all we got and you'll have to learn to deal with it."

"I can't," he said petulantly, glaring through the light of the sun in his eyes up at his brother. "I don't want this, Dean. And it's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, kid. But we do what we have to so that we can survive."

"You sound like dad."

"Good."

"No, it's not good. You're my brother, not my dad. You should be supporting me and telling me its okay to dream."

Dean sighed gently, reaching to run hands over his dark blond hair before scratching at the back of his neck in slight annoyance.

"Look, Sammy. One day you'll be able to leave and do everything you want. No one knows better than me that you can have it all. You're smart, a smart ass really. And you've got a good head on your shoulders, but you have to learn to survive. Because even though it's okay to dream, kid, you need to remember that your nightmares are real here and now. Your dreams can wait till you can get to them."

The memory passed and he blinked away the tears, reaching to wipe at them with the back of his hand wishing he hadn't rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. Sam's mouth fell open in confusion as he saw the tears on his brother's face, but as he was about to say something Dean looked up at him and shook his head.

"You can have it all," Dean said throatily as the lump in his throat became almost impossible to talk around. "You know I love you, right Sammy?"

He blinked those tears away though they lingered on his lower lids; Sam's face fell slightly in his confusion before he nodded.

"Of course, Dean. What's going on? What's Joshua doing here?"

Dean looked to the angel, who spoke to God, but Joshua merely gave him a look that said it wasn't his place to tell Sam and that Dean would have to explain it on his own. A hand rested on his shoulder, he reached up to grab hold of Castiel's hand and squeezed gently before allowing his hand to fall away. Though he knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do he couldn't help but feel like he was abandoning Sam. Perhaps he'd never promised Sam he'd never leave him or abandon him, but he made a silent oath to himself that he never would. A glance over his shoulder into ocean blue eyes, reminded him that this was indeed what he wanted for Sam.

"He's here to give you what you deserve, Sam," Dean said lightly as he turned around to face his brother again and wiped at his nose pathetically.

"What are you talking about?"

"God has given me one last request to have anything I want."

"Well, good. You can get Lisa and Ben back, Dean," he said with a forced smile, but knew by the look on Dean's face that it wasn't what he asked for.

"No, Sam. You know the apple-pie life has never been for me, I never wanted that not really. But you did."

"What do you mean? Don't be ridiculous, Dean. I don't-"

"Don't try to lie to me. You've wanted that life since you were little, always the dreamer, Sammy. The nightmares have always belonged to me and to dad, you were the dreamer and we let the nightmares ruin you. I won't let them ruin you anymore, I can't."

"But, Dean..."

"Damn it, Sam! Just let me do the right thing by you for once. Let me be your..." Dean's voice snapped and he looked away as tears burned again only to look back to his brother. "Let me be your hero. Let me save you."

"Dean, you are my hero," Sam whispered dejectedly as he felt tears coming, but grit his teeth to hold them back.

The oldest Winchester let out another strangled sound of pain, but he shook his head and took a step back so that he was standing beside Castiel. An arm went around Dean's shoulders to keep him upright; Castiel could sense his helplessness and didn't want him to drop to his knees like he undoubtedly wanted to. Sam didn't like the way his brother seemed to be trembling and he had taken a step forward to close the gap between them, the moment he took that step warm fingers pressed to his forehead. Joshua was looking at him with a calmness that spread through Sam and before any of them could blink he was gone.

Dean cried out because it felt like someone had stabbed him clean through the heart, nearly toppling over he was caught by Castiel and was leaning against him. Arms strong and soft, human in their delicateness held to him as he sobbed and pressed his face into the khaki trench coat. Castiel cupped the back of Dean's head, holding him close and shushing him gently as they rocked together in relative silence. Joshua walked over to them and looked down with a light smile on his kind features, a knowing glint in his wise brown eyes.

"I won't lie to you, Dean. I didn't fulfill your wish," he said matter-of-factly.

"Wh-what?" Dean asked with a trembling voice.

"I didn't make him forget you or any of this," Joshua looked around as if the brothers past was flashing around him. "I gave him the life he wanted, a promise of a family and the promise of a brother. His name is Sam Winchester and he has a brother named Dean Winchester, his brother is a hunter and they used to hunt together till Sam became a lawyer and walked away from that life but not away from his brother."

"You," Dean whispered barely able to breathe. "Where is he?"

"Why don't you call him?"

With that said, Joshua was gone with a soft flutter of wings and Dean was already reaching for his phone is his jacket pocket. Castiel still held onto him, making sure he didn't fall over as he fumbled with the piece of technology. Quickly he scrolled to Sam's number and pushed talk, phone to his ear he could hardly hear the ringing over the heavy thudding of his heart. The click of someone picking up the line made him stop breathing altogether till he heard an all-too-familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Dean, you better not be calling you can cancel on me for dinner. I told you a week ago so you could get here in time, I swear to God if you're going to bail again I'm going to kill you," Sam said, ringing clear in the speaker of Dean's phone. "It took me three weeks to get these reservations because it's the only place that carries that beer you like, so you better get your ass here. And wear a clean shirt."

Dean blinked, tears falling down his face as his mouth fell open in surprise and he glanced at Castiel who was smiling at him. Something told him that he had something to do with all of this, Castiel knew Dean better than he knew himself sometimes. But he snapped out of his private thoughts when he heard Sam shout at him through the receiver.

"Dean!"

"What? No, I'll be there."

"In a clean shirt."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell Castiel to try and wear something other than his trench coat too."

"Yeah, okay."

"Good, don't be late," Sam said with a smile evident in his voice.

"Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

"Bitch."

The chuckle that came to Dean's ears was like music, he felt his heart flutter because he still sounded exactly the same.

"Jerk. See yah later, Dean."