I don't own any beautiful thing that is Glee, unless you count DVD and CDs. Other than that, the characters belong to Fox and the lovely writers/producers.

Inside the Mind of Noah Puckerman

If I understood half of the reasons that I did the stuff I did, I probably wouldn't be in so much trouble all the time. It's obvious that every person in high school desires to be popular. Right? So, generally the stupid things that I do holds hands with popularity. The girls have it easier. All they have to do is be beautiful and have a little attitude to get the popularity. But boys have to be sporty, sexy, and somewhat d-bags to be popular. Since Finn and Sam seem to have the other two things more on lock than I do, I resort to being a bad boy.

Typically, when it's not popularity that I'm looking to better my position in, I'm looking to hook up. In that department, I also do a lot of strange things. What can I say? The penis wants what the penis wants.

Quinn was more than just a penis desire, so I hardly feel like I can count her as one of the stupid things I've done. Letting her go is, though. Santana is obvious. She's hott. Rachel was just a mess on all counts. Mercedes was purely for popularity when my stock went down. I feel bad for using her. But the Puck man has to do what the Puck man has to do. Lauren... Well. Lauren rocks my mind. Making me wait. ME? She got my desires up quickly. But, the shock came to me when my penis told me it wanted a bit of Kurt Hummel.

It all started when my car broke down. The only place that I knew I could afford to get my car fixed was to take it to the Hummel shop.

I road over with the tow-truck guy. The only person at the shop was Kurt. My heart sank. I was supposed to take Lauren on a date the next night.

I hoped out of the tow-truck. He lowered my car as I talked with Kurt about it. I was a little shocked by the mechanic jump suit he was in. It simply amazed me that he could wear something that wasn't by some big-shot designer.

"I'll take a look at your car. Maybe there's something I can do about it," Kurt said. It sounded like a foreign language to me. So, I just nodded dumbly.

He popped the hood. The little grease monkey started yanking on things and following wires and pipes around. I couldn't help but check out his ass as he leaned over the hood. His little body was slim like a girl. Worse even, his ass was bubbly.

Kurt turned to me with a smile on his face. "You need new spark plugs."

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was an easy fix.

My relief made me do something crazy. I pulled Kurt in by his middle and kissed him on the mouth.

He pulled back with wide eyes. The shock turned me on. It has always made me wild when someone that didn't think they would ever get me gets a small taste of the Puck.

"I gotta get the spark plugs," Kurt said swiftly.

I followed him into the back. He walked quickly, trying to keep way ahead of me. But my longer stride caught up to him. I grabbed him by the middle with both of my arms and held him tightly. Unable to control myself, I kissed his neck. My tongue lightly stroked it. My boner pressed into the back of him.

"I have a boyfriend."

"Because I'm going to tell anyone about this." The thought made me guffaw.

Our clothing exploded off our bodies and scattered all over the floor. I don't even remember what kind of underwear he wears, we were naked that fast.

Kurt grabbed some kind of liquid stuff from a shelf. He put it on his hands and rubbed it on my penis. I'm not even sure it was safe, but he said something about fingering his ass with it before, so I trusted it.

"Lie down," Kurt demanded.

I was so hott for him that I obeyed without question.

He squatted over me and slid down on his knees. They gripped my sides. He picked up my penis. His ass slowly started to slide over it. It tightly grasped around my penis. The tightness made me moan. Better than Quinn's virgin vagina.

Before I knew it, Kurt was riding my cock. He was bouncing on it and rubbing my nipples. I began to thrust opposite him.

Grabbing his hair, I pulled him down and devoured his lips. The mix of manly tastes and womanly tastes on his tongue threw me, but also made me harder inside of him. I was briefly shocked he could take such a fat penis for what was likely his first time. His penis rubbed against my belly.

I picked him up off my penis, then got off the floor. I swooped him up in my arms. Pressing his back against the wall, I let his body slide back down onto my cock. He screamed out like a little girl. I thrust hard into him. He cried out and exploded whit lava over both of us.

I pulled out of him and sat him on the floor on his knees. My cock was right in his face as I jerked it until I too came. The white was beautiful on his face.

I got down on my knees and held him against my chest for a moment before I let go.

Kurt got dressed and the spark plugs. He fixed my car, and I was on my way, something new under my belt.

Now, I'm just confused about what is going on inside of me.