A.N: Story wide disclaimer: Princess does not own universal rights to Fullmetal Alchemist, no matter how much she thinks she does. Thanks a ton for the review Griselda! Princess is going to flip out when I tell her your review, I'll have her reply to it as soon as she reads it.

~Psycho

Hey, It's Al!

I was just wondering... Since when was I buddies with Edward Cullen?

My point-Twilight crossovers.

The only Edward I've ever known (like, interacted with), is brother.

B'cuz ya, I liek lurv hangin with my vampire skillets.

What?

I'd rather pet a kitten thank you very much.

Again, I don't mean to be rude when I rant, and if I offend anyone, I'm terribly sorry.

In my opinion, I think Cullen doesn't deserve my brother's name. Brother has been to hell and back and he's still headstrong. Of course he breaks from time to time, but who wouldn't if they had been though what he had? Brother is strong, and always puts other peoples' lives before his, and I think that fits his description-rich protector, riches meaning the ones he cares about.

Edward Cullen on the other had is a depressed, emo, leech!

(again, I'm sorry for my behavior)

He goes around acting emo, sparkling, and being a pedophile by going after teenage girls.

He has no reason to be depressed!

Aww, I'm immortal, I'm good looking, I'm supper strong. I'm supper fast, I smell nice, I sparkle- better cry about it!

But I dunno, sometimes I feel a little lost myself. AKA: the Barry the Chopper incident.

I'm still beating myself up over that.

I'm so friken naive!

But, that makes me human! HA!

Yeah, I may be seven feet tall, have spiky shoulders, and made completely out of metal, don't forget I'm still a fourteen-year-old boy. My voice cracks, I think flames look cool, I often find myself staring at girls for longer than I need to, I love animals and playing pranks on Ed, whine at stuff, think about things way too much, and I can be nervous at times.

I'm not perfect, that's why I'm still wondering why you girls love me so much.

When I first woke up in this body, everything felt out of whack -like someone told you to run a mile after sleeping for thirteen hours.

Heavy.

It was weird to be ten times my size in a matter of minutes.

The spikes on my shoulders kept catching me off guard, my feet were unstable, and it was hard to walk sometimes, but most of all-

Numbness.

I felt this all at once, but then again I couldn't feel anything at all. The world is so different from the eyes of a trash can.

But then I learned to breathe,

Even if I had no lungs.

~Sincerely, Alphonse.

A.N When he says learning to breathe, he means learning to adjust.

Please review, and tell us what you want Alphonse to rant about next; Psycho and I are running out of ideas!

~Princess

Sincerely, Alphonse.