A/N: I'M BACK BABY!
Who missed me?
No one?
You suck
Kidding! ^^
Great to be back, you guys, with new chapters and a new promise!
It's a bit late, but my New Years Resolution is to spend at least ONE HOUR every Staurday writing!
Hopefully this will mean more chapter updates.
Hopefully...
Anyway, thanks for waiting!
Please R&R!
Chapter Nine
As Tigress and Rui entered the hallway that connected to the kitchen, the older tiger heard the sound of someone chopping up food and suddenly remembered where Po was.
She paused mid-step for a moment before shaking her head and walking again.
'What's the matter with me!' Tigress thought to herself, 'It's just Po!'
Her mind flashes back to their spar in the courtyard.
And the embrace.
'STOP IT! It wasn't an embrace! It was just…a poorly executed hold on Po's part!'
'Then why couldn't you break out of it?'
'I could have broken out! I was just about to break when…'
"Why'd you stop?"
"What!" the master turned her head and looked down at the cub holding her paw.
Rui replied, "I said, why'd you stop walking?"
"Wha-oh!" looking around, Tigress realized that while she'd been mentally arguing with herself, she'd stopped just before she'd reached the kitchen door.
"Uh…no-nothing. It's nothing," she said as she mentally kicked herself before walking into the Palace kitchen.
As the two tigers entered, Tigress saw what she had expected to see: Po chopping up various vegetables for today's lunch, his back to them.
Hearing somebody entering the kitchen, the Dragon Warrior turned to see who it was, saying as he turned, "Lunch isn't quite ready ye-up!"
At seeing Tigress, Po immediately froze up before looking around at everything but her.
Unconsciously, Tigress did the same.
As before, the two of them would have stayed like this forever until a young voice said, "Whatcha cooking?"
Snapping out of his…whatever it was, Po said, "Huh-OH! Right, lunch! Well Rui, today I'm making stir-fry!"
"Really?"
"Yup!"
"What are you using, Po?" Tigress asked, also returning to reality.
Not skipping a beat, the giant panda replied, "Celery, bok choy, white radishes, and tofu!" turning to the cub standing next to Tigress, Po asked, "Hey Rui, is there anything else you want me to add? What do you like with your stir-fry?"
Looking down slightly, Rui mumbled, "I don't know…"
Confused, Po said, "You don't know?"
"…I've never had stir-fry…"
"Oh, that explains it! You can't know unless you've-WHAT!" Po gawks with a disbelieving look on his face, "You're Chinese and you've never had stir-fry! That's crazy! That's like me saying 'I'm a panda who's never had bamboo' and I've have!" he looks to the side and mumbles, "Granted, it was actually bamboo furniture, but still!"
Rui kept her head down and said nothing.
Jumping in, Tigress said, "Well then it's a good thing that Po's making stir-fry for lunch, isn't it?"
Seeing where she was going, the panda replied, "That's right and it's going to be the most awesome pan of stir-fry I have ever created!"
"Smells like it's also going to be the most burned pan of stir-fry you've ever created," Tigress said.
"What!" Po cried, turning around to save his dish before noticing that none of the ingredients in the wok were burning.
And that he hadn't even started the fire yet.
Hearing two tigers giggling at him…. well, one was giggling, the other was more like a restrained chuckle, the Dragon Warrior turned back around with a smile on his face and said, "Ha ha ha, good one Tigress! You got me!"
The master smiled smugly.
Rubbing his hands together, Po continued, "And as much as I'd love to get back at you, you've just reminded me that I need to finish making lunch." With that, the giant panda turned his back to Tigress and Rui and once again began chopping up the ingredients set before him.
As he chopped, and apparently sampled some of the goods, the Dragon Warrior talked over his shoulder, "So-munch munch-what brings you two-munch munch-to the kitchen?"
Remembering why she was there in the first place, Tigress walked Rui over to the corner where Monkey hid his stash and replied, "I promised Rui a few of Monkey's almond cookies."
Po froze for an instant before continuing to chop, "Ruh-gulp-really?"
"That's right," she replies before picking Rui up by the waist and holding her up.
"They're in the hanging basket. Can you reach them?" she said to the cub.
Reaching for the lip of the basket, Rui sticks her hand inside before pulling the edge down and looking inside.
Twisting her head to look at Tigress she said, "There aren't any cookies in here."
"What? That's impossible! I saw Monkey put two-dozen in here just the other day! There's no way he could've-"
"Munch munch"
Stopping at the sound, Tigress put Rui on the ground before turning to glare at Po's back with her arms akimbo.
Sensing danger, Po froze.
Crossing her arms, the master said, "Po."
The panda swallows, loud and hard.
"Po," she practically growls.
Sending a quick prayer to any god who would listen, Po looked over his shoulder and said, "Ye-yes?"
"What happen to Monkey's cookies?"
"Uhhh…"
"Well?"
"Wha-what are you looking at me for? Wuzzent me," he replied, eyes shifting from left to right and trying to play it cool.
"Oh really?" Tigress said with a dangerous smile, "Then why, exactly, is there an almond on your cheek?"
Po grabs at his face with his paws, "There can't be, I was careful not to-oops!"
"Ah-ha! So you did eat them!" she accused.
Facing her full on, the Dragon Warrior tried to explain, "Not-not all of them! Just…the ones he hadn't eaten yet…"
"Pretty sure that counts as all of them," Rui jumped in.
Tigress looked like she was about to growl at Po. Or lunge.
Or both.
Raising his hands defensively, Po said, "Okay okay! I ate them! I'm sorry! I'll make more, I swear!"
"Oh yes you will! Right now!" Tigress growled, stabbing her finger at the floor for emphasis.
Looking down heartened, Po moaned, "'Right now'? As in, right now right now?"
"Yes!"
"Buh-but-but what about lunch?"
Crossing her arms again, Tigress replied, "Lunch isn't due for at least another hour, which gives you plenty of time to start a new batch of cookies."
Po stutters a few more hard to understand words before he finally sighed in defeat.
"Fine…I'll bake the cookies now…"
"Good," Tigress stated in triumph.
"-But you two have to help me!"
""WHAT!"" the two tigers exclaim.
"Why do we have to help? You're the one who ate the cookies!" Rui argued.
Smiling deviously, Po said, "True, but if you help me, I'll be able to finish them faster."
"And if we don't?" Tigress asked.
"Then I'll tell Monkey you were going to eat his cookies!" the panda retorted smugly.
"Then we'll tell Monkey that you actually did eat his cookies," Rui stated, her arms crossed, "And I think he'll care more about that then us just trying to eat his cookies, don't cha think?"
Po's mouth hung open as Tigress added, "She has a point, oh great Dragon Warrior."
At that, Po hung his head and pouted in the way that only he and three year olds who have been refused their favorite dessert can.
After a while, he picked his head up and said to Rui, "I'll let you lick the bowl."
Cocking her head, the cub asked, "Why would I want to lick the bowl?"
"Why would you-geez!" Po face palmed himself, "You've never had stir-fry, don't know why you would want to lick a cookie dough bowl, uhhhh," he sways and catches himself with the counter, "Oh gods…I think-I think I'm gonna faint…."
"Po," Tigress called.
"The room is spinning around!"
"Po!"
"Every-everything's going dark!"
"Po!"
"Good-bye, cruel wor-"
"PO!"
"Yes?" he said, snapping out of his act for a second.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Tigress continues, "If we agree to help you with the cookies, will you stop being so melodramatic?"
"Yes," he replied as he stood up, "But one question."
"Sigh- yes?"
"What's melodramatic?"
One would think that after becoming the Dragon Warrior, Po would be able to dodge any kind of attack.
Apparently this excludes woks aimed directly at his forehead thrown from close range.
"How-haa haa-am I doing?"
"Harder. You have-haa-have to go harder."
"You-haa-you sure?"
"Yes!"
"But-haa-but, if I go-haa-any-haa-harder, something's gonna-haa-gonna break!"
"Keep going! You're-you're almost there!"
"But-but-!"
"Don't worry-haa-that's hard wood! It's not gonna-gonna break anytime time soon!"
"I-haa-I think I'm-haa-almost there!"
"You are! Keep going! Go-go-go-gooooo!"
SNAP!
"Awww, Tigress you broke my favorite spoon!" Po pouted.
Glaring, Tigress retorted, "I'm sorry, but you told me to stir the cookie dough harder and that's what I was doing."
"Is cookie dough supposed to be that thick?" Rui said.
"No, it is not," Tigress replied, "But somebody decided to drink half the milk!"
"I wanted to make sure it was good," Po defended, "Anyway, the dough is done now, so we can make the cookies." He pulls out a flat metal pan and places it on the counter. Reaching into a nearby cupboard, the Dragon Warrior brings out a small jar filled with an amber liquid and pours a bit of it onto the pan, tilting the pan this way and that to spread the liquid around.
Rui peeked over the counter, trying to see what he is doing.
"What's that stuff?" she asked
Smiling, Po replied, "This is cooking oil. It's very important stuff."
The cub cocks her head. "Why?"
Putting the pan back on the counter, Po said, "Well, because if I didn't put this on the pan, the cookies would stick to it. And if they stuck to it we would be able to ea-I mean, put them back in Monkey's basket. And when he found that he didn't have any cookies, he'd get mad!"
He started to freak out.
"And when Monkey gets mad, he starts pulling pranks! And when he starts pulling pranks, you suddenly wake up in the villager square wearing nothing but the fur on your back and a sign that says 'I'm a cookie thief!' And when you wake up in the villa-"
"PO!" Tigress exclaimed.
"-WHAT!"
"Breathe."
"Huh-oh!" he chuckled, "Sorry, gotta little-gulp-carried away," he shook his head and said to Rui, "Anyway, this stuff keeps the cookies from sticking to the tray."
"Got it," the cub responded. To Tigress she said, "Does he freak out like that a lot?"
Without skipping a beat, the master replied, "Yes."
"Ignoring you," Po stated before continuing to make the almond cookies.
Grabbing another spoon, the panda expertly took dollop after dollop of dough out of the bowl and placed them on the tray. Within a minute, there were twenty-four evenly spaced gobs of almond cookie dough on the pan, ready to be baked.
Moving away from the counter, Po placed the bowl and spoon on the table.
Then, just as easily as he had placed the cookie dough, the panda picked Rui up and sat her down on the table right next to the bowl.
Smiling his trademark smile, Po said, "And now for the best part of making cookies: cleaning the cookie bowl!" He reached a hand towards the bowl.
"I'll start-OW!" quick as lighting, Tigress grabbed the broken spoon handle and rapped Po on the knuckles.
"Ohhhh no! You're not touching that bowl until Rui is done."
Rubbing his knuckles, the Dragon Warrior pouted.
"Just a little lick?"
Tigress was adamant.
"No way. If I let you so much as touch the dough, there won't be any for her!"
Po opened his mouth to argue, thought about what she said, closed his mouth, shrugged and said with a sheepish grin, "Yeah ha ha, you're probably right."
"Not 'probably', I am right and you know it!" the tiger said with a smile of her own.
The giant panda was about to respond when-
"Buurrp!"
Both jumping slightly at the belch, the two masters turned to find that Rui had already eaten all of the remaining cookie dough and had just finished licking it clean.
Running her tongue over her lips, the cub beamed, "I like cleaning the cookie bowl!"
Unfazed, Po replied, "Who doesn't?"
Without skipping a beat, Tigress added, "Crazy people."
"Crazy people so crazy that other crazy people think they're crazy!" Rui said.
"Exactly!" Po nodded sagely.
"But now we have a new problem," the older tiger said seriously.
""What's that?"" the other two ask.
"Somebody needs another bath," she continued with a smirk.
Po started looking at himself in disbelief, "No way, I just took a bath yesterday! I couldn't possibly-"
"Not you, Po!" Tigress cuts in.
"Then who-oh!" the spark of realization lit in his eyes as Po took a good look at Rui.
Apparently while trying to get every last spot of cookie dough, the little girl stuck her head into the bowl into and ended up getting every last spot of dough onto her face.
And the top of her head.
And her arms.
And her clothes.
Glancing down at herself, Rui saw where this was going and immediately tried to scramble off the table and out the door.
She was quick.
Sadly for her, Tigress was quicker.
"Oh no you don't! You're getting another bath, right now," the older tiger smirked as she held the cub by the scruff of her neck.
Crossing her arms and legs while she hung from Tigress's grasp, Rui huffed.
Tossing her lightly over her shoulder, the master said to Po, "I'm going to clean this one up while you finish lunch.
Giving her a thumbs-up, Po replied, "You got it!" as Tigress began to leave the kitchen.
"Oh, and Po?"
"Yeah?"
She smiled slyly, "Make sure all twenty-four cookies make it into the basket."
"Wha-what? That-that's crazy-I would never….yeah, okay…" he agreed gloomily.
Smiling, Tigress carried her charge to the Palace bath to get cleaned up.
Again.
A/N: Not one of my best chapters, but I'm a bit rusty.
Whatcha gonna do?
On a side note, I'd like to thank everybody who noticed that someone, who shall rename nameless *glares*, copied and pasted one of my stories as his own!
Thank you for telling me! ^^
Please R&R!