Thoughts, a glee fanfic

Hello, lovely readers! I have been simply astounded by the amount of views and hits I have gotten from the last two stories I have posted on here, and I wanted to let you all know that I love you dearly, thus, I present you with the most-loved (after Klaine, of course) ship of them all: JOGAN. Just to be clear, Julian's thoughts are italicized. I hope you enjoy it, darlings!

I do not own Dalton, Glee, Julian, or Logan. I've said this multiple times, but I feel it's always nice to restate.

Enjoy, R&R, please! -Hannah (PS feel free to drop prompts/wishes for stories in my inbox or via review. I love getting them!)

"Julian."

"Juuuuulian."

"Oi. I know you can hear me, Jules."

"Seriously. Get the fuck up."

"JULIAN."

"Fucking hell, Jules! It's like you're in a coma!"

Thump. "Fuck! Goddammit that hurt!"

Chair hits the floor. "Oww…"

Was that a sigh? Maybe I should-"Julian. You are so adorable when you're asleep." WHAT? I'm out of my mind. Okay, yeah, I MUST be dreaming because THIS does not happen in real life. "Why do you have to be so perfect?" Ohmyfuckinggod did he just brush my hair off my eyes?

He sighed again. He is too. Adorable. Wow, I've been saying adorable a LOT. At least it's not out loud. Ohmygosh am I blushing? , you can't let him know you're awake, you stupid boy. You are an actor. Get your fucking composure, man.

Ah, this is so nice. This feels perfect. I take it back. Perfect would be kissing him. Perfect would be in his arms. Not him just stroking my hair, unaware that I'm actually awake. That's far from perfect.

But he's not. I am.

"Julian…I love you." Don't open your eyes and kiss him. DON'T. "I know you're asleep and you can't hear me…But I love you."

"You're perfect. To me at least. Ew, I sound like such a sap." He has the best laugh ever. "If we were dating, I'd soo be the romantic one. I bet you. I can see it now: You and I going out on a picnic, away from all your obnoxious paparazzi, just us. Beneath a big tree, a blanket laid out underneath us. I'd give you a rose and you would think it was lame and stupid that I was giving you something so generic and mushy as a rose, but I would be able to tell that you actually like it. Because I know you so well. And you'd sit there kind of awkward then I'd lean over and kiss you…"

No, you're wrong. You're all wrong. I would be the one smothering you with affection. I would have a never ending blush if you gave me a rose. I wouldn't hide myself around you like everyone else.

"I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be telling you this. Even asleep. Because you could probably dream about this. My confession. I'm such an idiot. You don't love me. I would be able to tell." You don't know how wrong you are. How much I love you. Dream about you. Wish I was in your strong arms…wish that I wasn't too stupid to tell you this. I mean, I can't even muster up the courage to tell you while you're asleep. You're not stupid. You never could be.

"But you know what? That's okay. I need to fucking tell someone when I like them next. I've waited so long before telling people. Blaine…Kurt…"

Ain't that the truth.

"But with you I've waited the longest. Years and years. I am just so afraid that you don't like me-love me- the way I love you. Because I've held it back for so long. I've distracted myself—yeah, distracted myself with Blaine and Joshua and now Kurt. Why do I keep doing this?"

Yes, why, why, why don't you just tell me? I'm too scared to tell you. I've been too scared for so long. Longer than you, no doubt. That first moment that we met I loved you.

Shit, what's wrong? Why aren't you talking?

Wait. Shit. Did I just hear that? Are you crying?

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. SHIT. God, why can't I just get the courage to kiss you? Why?

Oh, he just kissed me on the head. Don't kiss him.

"I love you, Julian Larson." And I love you, more than you will ever know.

The door is opening. Don't cry, Julian. Don't you dare fucking cry. You are a disgrace of an actor if you cry.

Oh god, he's coming back. Deep breathes. Composure. Pull it together, Julian. You can do this.

ACK! What the fuck are you doing? Shit shit shit he's turning me over. Why the FUCK is he turning me over? Jesus Christ, help me not show my face. Don't show that you're almost about to fall of the bed, that you're dying of anticipation, scared of what he's going to do.

…

Um…what?

Did Logan Wright just kiss me?

I'm dreaming. That's it. I'm literally dreaming.

Wait, what's this?

…

He's not breaking the kiss. He's just keeping it there.

God, his lips are so perfect and soft. Do it, Julian. Kiss him back, show him that you love him, too. Be a fucking man instead of a pussy for once in your life. You always run and run away from things. You're too weak. Do something. Do it, Julian.

Do it.

DO it already.

Fuck.

He left. He's walking out the door now.

No, do something.

GODDAMMIT JULIAN. TELL HIM. KISS HIM!

"Logan!" Fuck fuck fuck fuck my life what am I doing? Oh that's right, you idiot, running up to him. What is his expression? I can't even understand it. I'm an expert at this, god Logan, be a little less cryptic for once in your fucking life. Oh shit. I'm right at him now. What are you doing? I need a mental slap. There. Ouch. That hurt. But thanks anyways.

"Logan, I wasn't asleep that whole time." Shit he's angry. "I wasn't asleep once, actually." Julian, you idiot. He's mad at you. He's giving you his death stare. People have gone insane under that gaze. Say it, Julian. Say it.

"Logan Wright, I need to tell you something. You're not an idiot. You're perfect. Just perfect. And I don't know why I've been so scared to tell you this, but Logan, I love you, too."

Red alert, brain! What the fuck are you doing? I don't want to say this! I don't want this. Whoa, whoa, what the fuck. You're leaning in, body. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You can't kiss him!

…And, yet again, my body isn't listening to me. Fuck you, too, body.

…

Is he kissing me back? I can't tell.

"Julian, did you just kiss me?" Shit, he's mad. And looks awfully confused. Shit, I just fucked up everything. I am a stupid, stupid, stupid boy.

"I'm sorry, Logan." Best leave now before he sees you crying. You can't show that weakness, too. Then you are nothing. Nothing.

"Julian, I love you." Whoooooa, being pulled. Fuck, why does he keep doing that? I'm about to fall over, you silly boy.

…

"Logan, you know you make my mind go blank whenever you do that?"

Shit, he's looking at me like I'm psychotic.

"I love you, Jules." Why does he look scared? Obviously I love him. I always have.

"I love you too, Lo."