Torn Asunder

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, including the characters featured in the programme. This story may make references to events in some episodes of the show with possible spoilers for Loss, Ghost, PC and Witness in particular. For the most part though, the story is non-cannon. It explores a loving, physical relationship between two women so if this offends you, is illegal where you live or simply isn't your cup of tea, I suggest you hit the back button now.

Pairing: Olivia/OFC, Alex/Olivia. I'm usually an Alex/Olivia shipper myself but for this story, I've paired Liv up with an original character. There will be plenty of Alex/Olivia interaction though so please give it a go before abandoning it!

Rating: M / 18

Author's Note: This is my first SVU fic so I'd really love to hear what you think of it. Constructive criticism is always gladly received – nobody is perfect and the only way to improve is through critical study of oneself. So if anything moves you sufficiently, be it good, bad or downright ugly, I'd love for you to drop me a line to tell me your thoughts, if you feel so inclined via PM or by way of a review. I am from the UK so some spellings may seem odd! If this seems familiar, it has also recently been posted on the Passion & Perfection website.

Monday February 2nd 2009

16.19

Manhattan SVU

Detective Olivia Benson sat numbly on the tiny cot in the crib, the hustle and bustle of the squad room imperceptible to her ears. Her eyes were fixed on the wall opposite her but her gaze reached much farther than the wall. She had no concept of her surroundings, no anchor with which to tether herself in the tumultuous storm raging within her mind.

"How long has she been like this?" Dr George Huang, FBI psychologist and regular consultant to the 1-6, asked quietly.

"Ever since we got back to the precinct. She refused to go to the hospital, locked herself in the shower and then secreted herself away up here. I've tried talking to her but…nothing. It's like she can't even hear me." Detective Elliott Stabler's voice was tight with concern for his partner, a woman whose stoicism ordinarily masked any kind of pain she was feeling, no matter how deep she was cut.

"It's possible she can't, she was close enough to the explosion to cause some temporary residual percussive hearing loss." Huang explained before enquiring, "did she acknowledge your presence at all?"

Elliot turned away from the tiny window in the door to the crib before answering. "Not once, not even when I reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder to try to get her attention."

"Then I think you're right, we're dealing with something more deep seated than a physical reaction to the explosion itself. I'd say that Olivia is in shock right now and will need a lot of help and support to prevent this from developing into full blown PTSD. I'll try talking to her, see if I can evaluate what her current state of mind is." George placed his hand on the door handle preparing himself for the task ahead. His concentration was interrupted by the rapid clicking of heels skittering across the linoleum surface of the squad room floor before hurriedly climbing the stairs towards the two men. ADA Alexandra Cabot swept into view, her face a mask of sincere concern for a woman she considered to be a good friend.

"Where is she? How is she? And why the hell is she not in a hospital?" The stunning, slender blonde came to a halt mere inches away from the taller, broader detective who looked as though he could swat her aside with little more effort than it would take to waft a feather.

"Easy there Counsellor, she's in no fit state to be interrogated by the DA's office just now." Elliot positioned himself between Alex and the door protectively.

"Credit me with a little more humanity than that Detective Stabler. Olivia is my friend too and I would like to see for myself that she's alive and in one piece. Why are you standing around? Have you already solved this case? I don't recall receiving any requests for arrest warrants or warrants of any kind come to that. Would you not be of more use doing some actual police work?" Alex stood tall and fiercely faced Elliot down, cobalt blue eyes boring into his own brown orbs, her face millimetres from the brawny detectives.

"I was just going to assess Olivia, Elliot was filling me in on how she has been since she got to the precinct." George supplied, hoping to diffuse the tension between the pair, both of whom were apparently fiercely protective of the mute brunette in the crib.

"Assess her? Why?" Alex shifted her intense gaze to the FBI psychologist, expression demanding answers.

Elliot stood aside and allowed Alex to see Olivia through the window in the door they were congregated outside of. The blonde attorney took in the rigid posture, the vacant stare, the shallow breathing, the numerous shrapnel wounds peppering the normally flawless olive skin and drew in a sharp breath

"She's not said a word since it happened, won't respond at all, it's like she's not in there," Elliot stated gently, conceding that Alex just had Olivia's best interests at heart, that she was there as a friend, not in a professional capacity.

"And you expected what exactly Elliot? She just watched the woman she loved get blown up in front of her eyes, don't you think she's entitled to be in shock right now? How would you feel if it was Kathy, God forbid?" Alex's irritation was irked again until she locked eyes once more with Olivia's partner and saw his stunned disbelief. "Oh God, you didn't know? Olivia hadn't told you?"

"Our vic was Olivia's girlfriend? Since when? Are you sure you have the right person? Liv's always dated guys." Elliot was stunned by the news, it threw a whole new light on the investigation…and his relationship with Liv. Why hadn't she told him she was dating someone? Was she really gay or just experimenting after a string of less than ideal male partners? How long had she kept it from him? How did Alex know? And what other secrets did his partner have?

"That's something Olivia will need to fill you in on, when she is ready to." Alex took a deep breath trying to reign in her desire to throttle Olivia's partner who, whilst he loved Liv dearly, could be infuriatingly oblivious to her struggles and triumphs. "Let me try reaching out to her before you consign her to a psych ward somewhere, please? We all know what that would mean for her future in this job." Huang and Elliot both conceded the attorney's point, standing aside to allow Alex to enter the small dormitory.

Monday February 2nd 2009

05.55

Olivia Benson's apartment, East 34th Street

"I'm going to be late if you don't stop that!" Olivia laughed lightly as Sam's only response was simply to grind herself harder against the solid toned thigh she had straddled. The laughter ceased, replaced by a sharp intake of breath as two fingers expertly found their way inside Liv's core.

"But your body seems to be betraying you, it doesn't seem to think me stopping is such a good plan," the diminutive blonde panted as she struggled to control her own rising passion. No matter how much of the beautiful brunette Sam had, it was never enough; Olivia Benson was like some lethally potent drug, one taste created a lifetime addiction.

"I can't help it if you drive me wild, but I really do have to get to work so what say we move this to the shower?" Olivia ground out reluctantly willing her hips to remain still despite an almost overwhelming desire to ride the digits teasing her most sensitive intimate places.

"I'd rather keep you right here, I'm sure there are still some undiscovered delights on this ravishing body of yours!" Sam quipped, pressing a little more firmly into Olivia, brushing her thumb in a feather-light circular motion across the hooded bundle of nerves and causing the buxom brunette to buck her hips involuntarily.

"You have no idea…" Olivia gasped as Sam's lips closed around a swollen, sensitive nipple, "…how much I would love to oblige but I have to go to work, I'm due in court at ten and I've got a mountain of paperwork I need to finish and prep with Alex before then." Olivia's rational mind was struggling to retain her control, tiny voices within her joining together to form an almost deafening crescendo pleading with her to give in to her lover's ministrations.

"You really want me to stop?" Sam asked gently as she stilled her hand, a teasing quality to her voice that sent shivers along Olivia's spine. "'Cause, you know, I will…right now, just say the word." Mischief danced in Sam's startlingly blue eyes and Olivia knew if she told her to stop, she would be walking around all day with a one of a kind of itch that needed to be scratched. With a growl that emanated from low in her throat, Olivia used her muscular frame to switch their positions so that she was in the dominant position on top. She eased herself back down onto her girlfriend's fingers, shuddering with desire as Sam sneakily added a third finger to the mix. The brunette supported her weight on one arm, legs spread as she straddled her prone lover's thigh, clasping Sam's free hand in Olivia's own and looking deep into her hypnotic eyes, the detective begun to ride the fingers buried deep within her in earnest. For precious moments, unspoken conversation flowed between the two women, each assuring the other of the depth and truth of their connection. The hush was disturbed by a low guttural keening that grew in intensity as Olivia's climax drew closer, her thigh rubbing against her lover's core and driving Sam ever onwards to her own peak. The older woman collapsed against her blonde partner as aftershocks rippled through both of their bodies.

When she had regained some semblance of awareness, Olivia laughed huskily and placed a tender kiss against the slender blonde's lips. "Did I ever tell you that you are an incredibly bad influence on me, Sami? Sexy as hell but definitely a bad influence!" Both women laughed together, sharing another brief kiss before Olivia finally, reluctantly tore herself away from the warm and inviting embrace.

"So are you telling me I shouldn't join you in the shower then?" Sam called after her lover's naked retreating form, admiring the sway of her curvaceous hips and wondering, not for the first time, what she had done to deserve such an incredible woman in her life.

Monday February 2nd 2009

16.27

Manhattan SVU

Alex opened the door quietly and slipped inside, closing it behind her just as stealthily. With some trepidation she approached the seemingly catatonic detective.

"Olivia?" If the older woman heard her name being called, she showed no outward signs of it. Alex continued her approach, adopting what she hoped was a similarly soothing tone to the one she had heard the brunette herself use when trying to engage a traumatised victim. "Liv, sweetheart, none of us can even begin to understand the pain you must be feeling right now, but I want you to know that I will do whatever I can to help you." Alex reached the bed on which Olivia had been seated ever since she had showered. The willowy blonde attorney stood beside the cot unsure of whether to reach out to the silent brunette. Calling on the still painful memories of how she had felt when she had her life snatched away from her after being shot and forced into Witness Protection, Alex laid a gentle hand on the rigid shoulder before her, offering stoic, silent support. The magnitude of vibrations humming through the taut body beneath her palm did not surprise her; she knew that no matter how serene and detached Liv appeared outwardly, internally there was a fierce battle raging. Almost imperceptibly, Alex felt Olivia move; the gap between her own toned stomach and Olivia's ragged brunette head grew ever smaller as though the older woman was drawn to the quiet comfort being offered. Alex slid her hand from the shoulder closest to her to its opposite number, her arm draped carefully across the broad, tense expanse of the detective's shoulders. The attorney raised her other hand to gently brush Olivia's damp hair away from her face, caressing her cheek in maternal fashion whilst being careful to navigate around the scrapes and bruises. The tender touches seemed to break the dam which had been keeping Liv prisoner within her own mind. As though realising for the first time that she was not alone, Olivia turned to Alex, wrapping her arms around the tiny waist tightly and sobbing into the expensive fabric of the attorney's suit. The move caught Alex by surprise causing her to topple over and resulting in her half sitting, half lying on the cot with Olivia still gripping her tightly. With little regard for her own comfort, Alex held Olivia tenderly, not wishing to hug her too hard in case she aggravated unseen injuries, soothing a hand through the tousled short brown locks and whispering heartfelt assurances of support to the distraught woman. She knew that nothing could fill the chasm that had been created with the detonation of that bomb but would strive to do everything within her power to help the woman sobbing in her arms find some sort of equilibrium again.

"Captain, I just got some information on the Samia Camanetti case that I think you should hear." Elliot had raced down the stairs as soon as Alex had shut the door to the crib.

Munch & Fin drew closer, both keen to be informed of any lead on the newest case to affect the squad. Whilst they were not directly investigating it, each of them wanted to have the chance to catch the individual responsible for putting one of their own in the line of fire.

"What is it Detective?" Cragen's ordinarily gruff voice was clipped, the only indicator of his anger at what Olivia had been forced to witness.

"Olivia knew her before this morning." Elliot paused, unsure how to phrase his bombshell finally opting to handle it as he would any other case they were investigating. "It appears that Olivia had a close personal relationship with the deceased. A very close, very personal relationship. I think we met her during the Pathitis case, the name never registered 'til now." There was a momentary silence as each member of the squad took in the revelation.

"That was Liv's lover? Man that is cold. What kind of sick bastard would do something like that?" Fin raged, not in the least perturbed by the news that Liv had been dating a woman.

"So this could be someone out to exact some kind of revenge on Olivia? Anyone made threats against her recently? She gone out of her way to piss anyone off?" Munch queried, mentally running through the list of possible cases recently worked on to try and come up with some suspects.

"Munch, Fin, I want you to look into Ms Camanetti's background, see if there is anything there we need to know, any connections to anyone who might have reason to want her or Olivia dead. Elliot, I want your statement ready for the Major Case squad by end of play today, make sure it's done and make sure it's thorough. We want to give them every opportunity to catch this perp. When you're done, review recent case files for anyone who threatened revenge on Olivia for their arrest. Anything you think warrants further investigation, pass it on to the detectives investigating the case." The detectives begun to drift away but their captain's firm voice halted their exodus. "People, we all know that you cut one of us, we all bleed but that is no excuse to turn this into a personal crusade." The savvy captain made sure to catch the eye of each of the men, driving home that it was not up for debate. "We will all do whatever we can to assist with this case and to support Detective Benson but our job is to investigate our own cases, to offer the victims who come to us their chance at seeing justice done. Do your jobs gentlemen and then go home, let the other detectives do their job." Cragen turned on his heel, closing his office door behind him and picking up the telephone on his desk to call the squad dealing with the bombing and update them on the latest finding.

Alex and Olivia clung to one another, the hush broken only by Olivia's rasping despair. When the older woman's sobs subsided, Alex hoped that she had succumbed to the need to rest, that her body had decided to close down for a while to allow Liv's mind to switch off. In reality however, Alex knew that even sleep would not release the brunette from her nightmare, that the scenes she had witnessed would remain with her through many waking and sleeping moments for a long time to come.

"Why Alex? Why? What had Sam done to anyone? She was a grade school teacher…" Olivia's already hoarse voice cracked as a fresh re-run of the day's images assaulted her mind.

"It's too early for us to have any kinds of answers for you, sweetheart but the guys are doing everything they can to help the investigating detectives figure this out. Right now, your priority needs to be taking care of yourself. Please, Liv, let me take you to the hospital and get these cuts seen to? I don't want to lose you because an infection sets in." Alex pleaded with her friend.

"I don't care." Olivia was quiet for a moment but Alex could tell there was more she wanted to say and so kept her peace. "How am I supposed to go on? How do I live with that? With those images? I loved her Alex, I loved her but I left her there to die. I should have stayed, I should be with her." Olivia broke down once again, sobbing into Alex's chest.

"You did what you had to do, what Sam wanted you to do. We'll find a way to get through this together. I'm not letting you go Olivia, you don't have to do this alone," Alex assured her closest friend, scared by the dark path Liv's thoughts were travelling despite understanding them. "It's not easy to have everything you live for taken away from you in a single moment; to have the actions of someone else dictate the path for what seems like the rest of your life; to have so many potential memories and milestones stolen from you," Alex recounted, having lived through those dark days herself, "but you do get through it, day by day. The sun keeps rising and setting, you keep putting one foot in front of another and each day the pain dulls just a little bit more. I won't patronize you Liv, it never truly goes away but it does become less of a cross to bear."

"I can't do that alone Alex, I'm not you, I'm not that strong," Olivia admitted quietly, heart clenching at the thought of facing her apartment and not being greeted by her lover's warm embrace; of never again returning home to Sam's sweet melodic voice singing along to some random song on the stereo; of having to face the teacher's parents who had accepted Olivia into the family like one of their own.

"You'll never need to do it alone; you have me, Elliot, Fin, Munch, Captain Cragen. We are all going to help you in whatever ways you need us to. But you're wrong, you are every bit as strong as me and undoubtedly a whole lot stronger too. What you saw today, what you witnessed, what you had to do to save other lives, that called for strength beyond measure."

Monday February 2nd 2009

11.53

Manhattan SVU

"How'd it go in court?" Fin asked as Olivia strolled back into the squad room, draping her suit jacket over the back of her chair.

"Jury's out, shouldn't be too long before the verdict's in though. Four of his victims testified clearly and articulately about the ordeal he subjected them to, that plus the physical evidence tying him to the rapes should be more than enough to see him behind bars for a long time. Some of the jury looked like they would have liked to stick a needle in his arm by the time the fourth victim finished her testimony." Olivia stated, feeling the same satisfied buzz she always got when a perp was caught and justice was about to be served.

"Sounds good. I'm sure the fact that he exposed himself to you when you tried to arrest him didn't harm the case any either," Fin quipped with a wink in Olivia's direction.

"I'd like to think the victims won this case for themselves, Mr Johnson's package neither disturbed nor impressed me," Olivia replied with a small smile.

"Olivia, a Sam Camanetti rang and asked to speak to you earlier. I left a note on your desk but she said she'd ring you on your cell." Munch mentioned, not so subtly digging for information. Fin exchanged a quizzical glance with his partner as Olivia unclipped her cell from her belt and turned it on, looking at the screen expectantly after tossing a distracted, 'thanks' in Munch's direction.

"Hi Liv, it's me. I'm just on a break from class and really missing you. If you get out of court in time, could we meet for lunch? Give me a call back if you get this before midday. Love you." Olivia checked her watch as she finished listening to the message, immediately redialling and walking out of the squad room and away from prying eyes and ears.

"Hey you, how'd it go this morning?" Sam asked as soon as she answered the call, her caller ID having told her that it was her gorgeous lover. Olivia felt her heart warm at the tender tone the young woman used when addressing her, the genuine affection undeniable.

"Hi, it went well I think, should hear soon if it was well enough. So are you still free for lunch?" It wasn't often that Liv even took the time to eat during a shift but she felt an overwhelming need to see the woman who had captured her heart.

"Of course, I'm always free when it comes to seeing you." Olivia thought she picked up an underlying tension and tiny tremor in Sam's voice, it was minute but to the detective's well tuned ears, it was there.

"You ok? Having a rough day? Are the kids giving you hell again?" Liv's voice was soft and inviting, coaxing the teacher to open up to her.

"I'll tell you about it over lunch. Right now I just really need to see you. Meet me at Alessandro's, I can be there in ten minutes, can you get away?" The neediness in her lover's voice surprised Olivia. Sam was normally such an independent, care-free spirit. She surmised that it must indeed be one heck of a bad day to leave the dedicated teacher so troubled.

"I'll make sure I can, I'll see you there in fifteen. Save me a seat by the window if you can," Olivia murmured, aware of people bustling by her as she stood in a corner of the corridor outside the squad room.

Monday February 2nd 2009

16.35

Manhattan SVU

Olivia pulled away from Alex, sitting upright once again and sheepishly looking at the blonde attorney for the first time since she had entered the room. Horror filled her expression as she took in the sight before her.

"Oh God Alex, you're bleeding! Where are you hurt? Why didn't you tell me? What happened?" Questions fired rapidly off the brunette detective's tongue, hands palpitating and skimming over Alex's blood-covered blouse to find the source. Alex calmly placed her own hands on top of Olivia's, stilling their frantic motion and bringing them to rest against Alex's thighs.

"Olivia, I'm not hurt. It's not my blood…it's yours." Alex's heart was pounding as she surveyed the amount of her friend's blood which was now seeping into the fabric of her cotton blouse. "Please Liv, let me take you to the hospital. This is your blood and there's too much of it out here for my liking." Olivia looked down at her own bloodied shirt, a disbelieving expression on her face. She looked back at Alex, confusion evident across her expressive features.

"I don't feel any pain." A frown, which under other circumstances Alex might have found adorable, settled across the brunette's brow, swiftly followed by the small amount of colour remaining in her face draining away to leave her normally vibrant skin sallow.

"It's ok sweetie, you're in shock, that's normal," Alex lied flawlessly, knowing adrenaline should have worn off long ago. "We're going to the hospital now to get you checked over and to get these cuts cleaned up and dressed. Do you think you can walk down to my car?" Olivia nodded uncertainly, realising that she really should follow Alex's advice and get her injuries tended to. She rose unsteadily, reaching blindly for something to anchor her as her head swam and her vision receded into a vast white space.

Alex watched Olivia go to stand and bolted upright to catch her as the detective lost the battle with consciousness. She lay the slender woman back on the cot they had been seated on scant moments previously and raced to the door, ignoring every etiquette lesson she had ever been subjected to as she hollered into the bullpen for someone to call a bus.