Disclaimer: Thor©Marvel
Warnings: Mpreg implications (it's canon, people, gotta love a fandom like this one!) and pure, unadulterated crack.
Notes: This came about from the following prompt from the Norsekink community on LiveJournal:

Loki's vacationing on Earth, and one day he wakes up PREGNANT. Being Loki, he doesn't find this particularly unusual, but being Loki, he has NO IDEA what he did to get knocked up. Eat the wrong cereal? Take the wrong bus? Say "subcutaneous" one too many times on a Tuesday?

Cue Loki and the Avengers trying to figure out how this happened. Bonus points for Coulson thinking debriefing is the answer. Also, bonus points for Tony thinking this would make an awesome Scooby Doo case.

Upon reading the above, this scenario just popped into my head and would not go the hell away. My apologies for the very very very short. I can only vaguely promise to lengthen it to a full fic someday, but at the moment I'm just glad to share the crack with everybody.

"Are you fucking serious?"

Tony blinks, wondering when and where Loki took up the habit of cursing that way and how the hell he missed it. Thor's been hanging around on Earth a hell of a lot longer and still maintains an annoying sense of politeness.

Maybe he'll mention to Thor that he needs to spend more time with his baby brother, see if the habit rubs off on him. It would be hilarious to hear the god of thunder say something like that. Well, right up until Jane smacked Tony for being a bad influence. There's no way she'll take it out on Loki at the moment.

Coulson doesn't bat an eyelash at the glare he's receiving. "There has to be a solution to this situation-"

"Yes, and it involves killing something until I get an answer!"

"-and I think that a group debrief could help," the SHIELD agent concludes as if Loki hadn't even opened his mouth.

Thor looks confused... which, sadly, isn't new. "I thought it was apparent that my brother is currently carrying a child," he says slowly, as if talking to a very young child.

And now Loki's rolling his eyes. "Very good, brother. Did you figure that out all on your own, or did Darcy have to break out the finger puppets?"

Tony thinks Darcy looks a little too happy to have been dragged into the conversation. He also thinks this whole situation sounds like an episode of Scooby Doo.

And great, now the Asgardians are arguing amongst themselves in their own language, which means Tony can't even enjoy the moment. So he shrugs, leans against the wall, and steals Darcy's iPod. He'll give it back once everyone reverts back to English and they can start trying to solve the Case of the Missing Baby Daddy.