A/N: So, it's been a while between drinks! Basically, I turned to Banter-therapy to cheer myself up after the finale and revisited some extra chapters I'd written for Watching the Girls. Now they're actually done and I thought other people might like a bit of cheering up too

Summary: A collection of stories about the goings on in Camelot as Arthur, Merlin and the knights ("the gang") set about rebuilding after Morgana's defeat at the end of season 3. Lots of banter and bromance.

Chapter 4 – The World of Good: Arthur tries to stamp out any further mention of Boris and the Chamber Pot Incident but Merlin and Gwaine won't give up that easily.

The World of Good

Gwen held the flowers to her nose and breathed in deeply as she turned the corner. Picking them had been a good excuse to leave the castle for a while. She'd needed the space and the time to think. She'd always been busy within these walls, but now was different. Now there were always too many things to be done. Now there was no way any of them could stretch themselves thin enough to achieve all they felt they ought. Now there was a castle bursting at the seams with traumatised refugees, a city in ruins, a king who had shut himself off behind a wall of misery and desolation and a son working desperately to fill the breach. She hoped the flowers would put a smile on his weary face.

The door to Arthur's chambers stood open as she approached but she thought nothing of it, walking in and heading straight for the table where she meant to leave the flowers. Pulling the wooden vase out from under her arm, she was about to reach for the jug of drinking water when she heard a noise to her left. She turned slowly and looked around. Again the noise came: the creak of wood and a hollow thump. It was coming from the wardrobe.

Turning the vase in her hand so that she was grasping the neck of it, Gwen glanced over her shoulder towards the door. She had seen no guards on her way in and there were unlikely to be any around – Arthur had every able-bodied man working on the rebuilding efforts or keeping watch around the city's perimeter. She paused to think and another bump came from the wardrobe accompanied, this time, by an urgent whisper. Gwen frowned and, vase now raised above her shoulder, took a few silent steps towards the wardrobe before pausing once more to listen. More whispers again from two separate voices. Two familiar voices. She crept close enough to make out fragments of their whispered conversation.

"...off my foot..."

"...trying...your fat head..."

"...not my fault...stupid idea..."

"...come up with anything better...stop wriggling..."

At this point the wardrobe doors looked as if they were about to burst their hinges for all the commotion inside. Then came a particularly violent tremor and a gasp of pain.

"My nose!" came the affronted hiss. "Get that away from my head!"

"Sssh!"

Gwen shook her head as a knowing smile formed on her lips. She couldn't even imagine what mischief those two had been up to before she disrupted them. She lowered the vase and smiled wider as a wicked idea formed in her mind.

"Yes, the intruders are in there," she said out loud. The whispers died instantly. "In the wardrobe. I wouldn't risk opening it – just fire your crossbows."

"No!" The doors to the wardrobe flew open and Merlin and Gwaine spilled out onto the floor, a tangle of arms and legs and...chamber pots. "Don't shoot! Don't..."

They looked up to see the room empty but for Guinevere who stood with her arms folded across her chest and her eyebrows raised in an expectant stare.

Gwaine let his head fall forward onto the stone floor in relief and Merlin let out an awkward splutter of a laugh.

"Do I need to ask?" Gwen demanded, coolly.

Merlin clambered from his hands and knees up to his feet. "Doesn't look good, does it?" he asked.

"Not exactly. No," Gwen agreed. "Is there a good reason for the pair of you being in Arthur's wardrobe?" She looked around at the collection of half a dozen pots which had rolled out of the wardrobe with them. "And why do you have...Wait. This isn't to do with..."

"Boris and the 'Chamber Pot Incident'?" Gwaine asked cheerfully as he got to his feet and threw Gwen a broad grin. "It might be."

Gwen did her best to look stern though it was getting harder to hide her smile. "So you're planning on tormenting him?"

"Not tormenting, exactly," Merlin said, his nose scrunched up in deliberation as he looked around at his partner in crime. "It's more...friendly teasing, would you say?"

Gwaine nodded resolutely. "Playful ribbing. Good-natured jesting. Brotherly..."

"He'll be livid," Gwen cut in.

Gwaine let his head fall towards his right shoulder, his hair brushing past his eyes. "Ah, well. He left us no choice. He forbid us calling him Boris and banned any further discussion of the Chamber Pot Incident."

"So you had no choice but to smuggle five chamber pots into his rooms?" Gwen asked incredulously. "I think it might be time to let it go."

Merlin and Gwaine exchanged mischievous looks of barely restrained delight.

"You think we might have taken it a bit far then?" Merlin asked, with a pointed look over Gwen's right shoulder.

She turned in the direction of Arthur's bed and saw what her focus on her task had stopped her noticing as she walked in. Stacked in walls and towers around, under and on Arthur's stately four poster bed were dozens of chamber pots of every shape and size. They were balanced precariously on top of each other, the central tower in the middle of his bed standing a perilous seven pots high. Gwen felt her jaw drop.

Half skipping, half jogging past her, like an excited child about to receive a birthday gift, Merlin turned and grinned, his eyes glowing. "What do you think?" he asked.

"What do I...?" Gwen dragged her eyes from the bed to look from Merlin to Gwaine and back again. "Where ever did you get them all? There must be..."

"One hundred and twenty-seven," Gwaine supplied, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "It took a while to find them all."

"And then there was getting them all up here," Merlin said.

"And constructing the tower," said Gwaine. "But once that was done the outer walls were easy."

A gasp of laughter escaped Gwen and once it was out she couldn't hold the rest in. She laughed until she felt tears sting her eyes. "I think it's wonderful," she cried at last. "I admire your hard work, however misplaced it might be."

Merlin and Gwaine took her praises with grins upon their faces.

"But you'll have to take it down before he gets back, of course," she added.

"No!" cried Merlin. "We can't do that! It'll be fine. He'll think it's funny...eventually."

"He might do," Gwen conceded. "But as he'd already have had you both beheaded by that time, you won't be around to see it."

"Ah, come on," Gwaine complained. "Arthur can take a joke."

Gwen shrugged. "Well, I've given you my advice. Leave it up it you like. But Arthur's spent most of the morning meeting with his father's council and when he gets out Elyan is waiting to tell him that the mortar they used for the last section of the outer wall hasn't dried properly and it all needs to come down again."

Gwaine winced and looked round at Merlin. "She might be right, brother."

Merlin looked deflated but resigned. "All right," he huffed. "Come on then. You get the wheelbarrow. I'll start taking down the walls."

"Ah. I'd like to help, Merlin, really I would," Gwaine began apologetically. "But I'm supposed to relieve Lancelot and he's been on patrol since last night..."

Merlin exhaled as if he'd been hit in the stomach. "Well how am I supposed to...?"

"You go, Gwaine," Gwen intervened, a hand on the knight's shoulder. "I'll help Merlin."

"You're a gem, Guinevere," Gwaine proclaimed as he backed towards the door. "An absolute gem."

She shook her head as Gwaine rushed out of the room and disappeared along the corridor, then turned back to Merlin. The young man looked thoroughly dejected. She wrapped one arm around his shoulders. "At least I got to see it," she offered. "And one day when Arthur's not so tired and...temperamental, we'll tell him all about it."

"We could be waiting a while," Merlin huffed, petulantly.

Gwen smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Come on. Let's get it done."

Merlin plodded over to the window and pulled out a number of crates from behind the curtains. Gwen watched him out of the corner of her eye as they began to dismantle the collection.

"He's just so tired, Merlin," she explained apologetically. "You know how hard he's working. He deserves a little more leeway than usual."

"I know," Merlin said, offering a smile and seeming a little more himself. "You're right. We got a bit carried away."

"How was your tour of Camelot with Edith?" Gwen asked with a sideways smile.

Merlin's groaned and shook his head. "It went as well as you could expect, I suppose, when half of Camelot is grinning at you like you're up to something and tousling your hair as you walk past." He put on a deep, jovial voice: "'Nice work, Merlin. Didn't think you had it in you! Ha ha ha.' Honestly, am I that pathetic?"

Gwen giggled. "Of course not. You're well liked, Merlin. They're happy for you."

Merlin hummed dubiously. "And when I wasn't being ridiculed by the townsfolk we were trying to avoid Gwaine and Elyan."

"Gwaine and Elyan?"

"They thought I could use a hand so they offered to 'chaperone'," Merlin muttered. "It took an age to give them the slip and then I had to be a bit creative in avoiding them while they were 'patrolling' the lower town. It involved taking Edith for a close-up inspection of a recently thatched roof."

Gwen laughed. "Oh well, it could have been worse," she reminded him, reaching under the bed to scoop out three more pots.

"How so?"

"Someone could have told her you're Arthur's manservant. Or Arthur could have told her who he really was in the Great Hall the other night."

"After the Chamber Pot Incident?" Merlin grinned, piling another two pots into the barrow. "Then she might not have wanted to see me at all."

"Oh, I'm sure she would have forgiven you a small untruth," said Gwen. "But it really was very kind of Arthur to keep quiet. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face!"

"It was when the man said: 'The slops, son, what d'ya plan to do with the slops?'" Merlin laughed, repeating the line which had been most quoted by he and the knights (Elyan did it best) since that fateful evening.

"Oh, don't!" laughed Gwen. "Poor Arthur."

"You didn't have to put up with him that night," Merlin muttered, still grinning and loading his wheelbarrow further still. "Wouldn't shut up about whether he looked like a servant or not."

"He said what?" Gwen asked.

Merlin continued on jovially. "Oh, you know, what kind of idiot would think he looked like a servant? Couldn't people see good breeding when it was staring them in the face? Just how stupid did that man think he was? The day he looks like a servant is the day..." He stopped short as he looked across at Gwen. "Um, Gwen?"

With a determined frown on her face and surprising speed, Gwen was replacing one chamber pot after another, rebuilding the mounds which surrounded the tower in the centre of the bed.

"I've changed my mind, Merlin," Gwen declared, in a tone Merlin had learnt indicated she meant business. She placed two more pots on the blankets. "Gwaine was right. Someone with Arthur's good breeding would obviously be capable of taking a joke, don't you think? I don't know what I was thinking. It must be my feeble servant's brain."

Merlin laughed nervously. "I'm sure he didn't mean..."

"The chamber pots, Merlin," Gwen said calmly. "Replace the chamber pots."

With more than a few uneasy looks across at Gwen but laughter building in his chest, Merlin obeyed orders and set about replacing the pots. Once they were all back in position, a mountain of toileting facilities upon the regal bed, they stood back, hands on hips, to admire their work.

"One more thing," Gwen said, taking the bunch of wildflowers up off the table and climbing up on the blanket box at the end of the bed to place them in the topmost pot. "There. Fit for a prince."

They were both laughing as they turned to the door to make a hasty exit. Gwen took Merlin's arm as they left the room and hooked hers through it. A spring in their step, they walked quickly down the corridor and following a bout of edgy giggling as they imagined Arthur's reaction, they nearly jumped out of their skins as they bumped straight into someone coming the opposite way around the corner.

"Merlin!"

"Edith!" Merlin gasped, holding onto the shoulders he had grabbed to steady her for longer than was strictly necessary. "Are you all right? I'm sorry. I was, er, distracted."

The girl raised one hand and squeezed his arm gently, the look on her face warm and admiring. "Oh, that's all right, I'm sure you're very busy with lots of important work."

Merlin glanced at Gwen slightly shamefacedly.

"I was coming to look for you, actually," Edith continued, she paused awkwardly. "I wanted to see you before I left."

"Before you left?" Merlin repeated. "What do you...? You're leaving?"

Edith smiled thinly. "My father's found labouring work at the quarry. They're opening a camp there, for all the new workers. It's a long way from farming like he's used to, but they need the stone for the rebuilding. It's important work."

There was a slightly defensive tone to her voice and Merlin nodded quickly. "Yes. Yes, of course." A strange ache was building in his chest, a despondent self-pity. "Perhaps...perhaps you don't have to go? I could help you find work here in the city and..."

But Edith was already shaking her head. "I can't leave my family, Merlin, not after all that's happened. You understand."

Merlin smiled tight-lipped, suddenly embarrassed by his offer, and nodded wordlessly. Gwen, whom he had forgotten for a moment, noticed his discomfort and spoke up then, her words soothing and kind.

"The quarry is not a full day's ride from here," she said encouragingly, smiling warmly at Edith. "I'm sure we will see you often. I'm glad things have worked out well for you, and that your family will be able to help us with the rebuilding effort. There will be a lot of good work for you at the camp, Edith."

Edith nodded her blonde head resolutely. "That's what they told us. There will be a lot to do, I suppose, with all those people suddenly living where days ago there was nothing but trees and dirt." She looked shyly up at Merlin. "I should be going. Thank you both for all your help. You don't know how much it has meant."

"It's been our pleasure," he assured her. "Take care, Edith. I hope I see you soon."

He reached out and took her hand, pressing it gently between both of his. Her eyes were green with a hint of hazel. He felt the ache build and forced himself to let go of her hand. Edith gave him one last look then hurried away.

"Are you all right?" Gwen asked quietly as Edith disappeared around the corner.

Merlin fixed a smile on his face and opened his mouth to answer, but stopped as he heard Edith's voice from the next corridor.

"Oh, Boris! Thank you again for helping with that washing this morning."

"Not at all," came Arthur's voice.

Gwen and Merlin exchanged confused looks. 'Washing?' Merlin mouthed moments before Arthur appeared around the corner. He walked up to them with shorter strides than usual on account of his still injured leg, a tired smile on his face for Guinevere.

"Arthur," Gwen greeted.

"Washing?" Merlin repeated, out loud this time.

Arthur grimaced and scratched the back of his head. "I saw Edith this morning on my way to the council meeting. She had a load of wet clothes and wanted to know where she could find pegs," he explained, somewhat incredulously.

"Pegs?" Gwen repeated.

"So I offered to take her to the washing lines."

"Arthur," Gwen began. "Do you even know where the washing lines are?"

The prince scrunched up his nose. "I took a couple of wrong turns," he admitted, "but I got there in the end. Did you know the washing lines are a ridiculously long way away from any water supply?"

Merlin, who felt as though he'd spent the better part of the last few years lugging Arthur's wet laundry to those very same lines, turned to his fellow servant. "I've never noticed that, Gwen, have you?"

Gwen allowed a small smile at Merlin's sarcasm and Arthur's cluelessness but did her best not to laugh. "That was very kind, Arthur."

"Well, it would have seemed a bit strange if Boris hadn't known where to hang out washing, wouldn't it? Thing is, I wasn't sure of the etiquette and once we were there it felt rude not to help her hang it out."

Merlin did a bad job at stifling a laugh at the image.

"Yes, thank you, Merlin," Arthur snapped. "That seemed to be the general opinion of the large number of servants who stood about to watch. And goodness only knows what my father's council thought when they saw me lugging a basket of wet washing across the courtyard as they waited for our meeting."

Merlin made no attempt to restrain his laughter this time.

Gwen, smiling up at Arthur, put her hands gently on his chest as she closed the gap between them. "That really was very sweet of you, Arthur."

He dropped a kiss on her forehead and rubbed his hands affectionately up and down her upper arms before looking to Merlin.

"I heard Edith's family are moving to the new quarry camp? You're, um, all good, are you?" he asked stiffly.

Merlin nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "Yeah, fine," he muttered gruffly. "Thanks."

The two shared a few awkward nods.

"Good. That's good, then," Arthur muttered, before regaining his footing by moving from the emotional to the practical. "I know they didn't have much when they arrived. I asked Leon to speak to her father and offer whatever assistance we can."

Taken aback, Merlin nodded his gratitude. "Thank you, Arthur."

The prince thumped him solidly on the shoulder. "Anyway, I'm on my way to meet with Lord Edward – he's rarely in court these days and I don't wish to keep him waiting since he's been kind enough to come at my request – so I need to change into something less filthy," he announced, stepping past Gwen and heading for his chambers. "Do I have anything that matches that description, Merlin?"

Gwen and Merlin exchanged looks of terror as Arthur began walking towards the door to his chambers. Trust Arthur to start acting decently right when they had already arranged his comeuppance.

"Merlin?" Arthur prompted, without looking behind him where the other two were gesticulating wildly at each other.

"Uh," Merlin jogged along the corridor at Gwen's frantic urging. "I'll go have a look. You wait here."

"Wait here?" Arthur repeated incredulously. "Why would I get dressed in the corridor?"

Gwen appeared before him, stopping him in his tracks, and lifted both his hands in hers. "Tell me about your meeting," she asked, as if she would find nothing more interesting. "Was it productive?"

Arthur frowned at her sudden interest. "It was fine. Long," he answered, attempting to steer her with him along the corridor.

Gwen stepped in front of him again and brought them to another halt. "Were the council pleased with the work that's been done?"

He shrugged distractedly. "Mostly. Of course, if my father had been in charge it would all have been done differently. You know what they're like."

Again he tried to walk towards his chambers but Gwen blocked his path. This time she couldn't think of anything to say so she just smiled up at Arthur with a slightly panicked expression on her face. A loud crash sounded in his room. A deep frown etched on his face, Arthur craned his neck in attempt to look through the door before gazing down at Gwen, suspicion blossoming in his eyes.

"Guinevere," he said sternly. "What's going on?"

Gwen smiled, opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't think of a single explanation. Arthur gave her one more look of consternation before stepping around her and walking towards the door. Biting her lower lip, Gwen hurried along behind.

"Arthur!" Merlin gasped, as the prince walked into the room and froze just inside the doorway.

Merlin was standing by the foot of the bed, a wheelbarrow next to him and his arms wrapped around at least six chamber pots. Arthur's eyes travelled from his servant to the bed, taking in the array of pots, complete with a bunch of fresh wildflowers peeking over the edge of the uppermost bowl.

"Surprise," Merlin choked out weakly, the pot which had been hanging from one finger on his left hand, crashing to the floor.

Arthur pursed his lips and folded his arms across his chest. He nodded slowly. "I see," he muttered. "And this would be...some kind of joke?"

Behind him, Gwen let out a choke of laughter. Arthur dragged his eyes away from his manservant (who was practically quaking with a mixture of restrained mirth and nervous tension) and looked around at Gwen. She was standing behind him with her hand clamped over her mouth and laughter dancing in her eyes.

"Really, Guinevere?" Arthur asked dryly, surprised at her involvement.

"I'm sorry, Arthur," she gasped, failing to look penitent in any way whatsoever. "We thought you might find it amusing."

"No you didn't!" Arthur exclaimed, scathingly.

"No, we didn't," Merlin agreed jovially. "We were fairly sure you'd be, you know, you about it."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Arthur demanded.

That was too much for Merlin and Gwen and they couldn't hold back their laughter any longer. As he watched the two of them giggling like a pair of children, Arthur shook his head and allowed the corners of his mouth to turn his glare into a begrudging grin.

"Oh, you're a regular pair of court jesters, aren't you?" he muttered in dry amusement.

It was then that Sir Leon arrived at the door.

"Sire, I've brought...oh."

Arthur turned to face his knight, a tight smile and raised eyebrows adorning his face.

"Sir Leon! Come to join the hilarity?" Arthur asked, holding his arms out wide.

"No, Sire," Leon explained, a confused smile beginning to play around his lips. "Lord Edward has arrived and asked me to bring him to you."

At this he stepped aside and Lord Edward, grey and wizened – one of the few of the old guard whose counsel Arthur truly valued – stepped into the room. Merlin and Gwen's laughter came to an abrupt stop.

"Arthur," Lord Edward began, "I understand you're busy, young man, and thought it might be more convenient for you if I came to you here." His practiced diplomatic facade quivered only slightly as he took in the goings on. "But perhaps not."

Throwing Merlin and Gwen a murderous look which they had the good grace to receive somewhat sheepishly, Arthur walked over towards his father's long-time adviser and took the proffered hand. "Lord Edward, thank you for coming at such short notice. And yes it might be best if we go...anywhere but here. After you, please."

As he ushered the old man out of the room Arthur paused for long enough to wave an irate finger around at the scattered chamber pots. "Now! I mean it," he hissed. Merlin and Gwen nodded dutifully but still too cheerfully for Arthur's liking.

"I must say, Arthur," Lord Edward said from the hallway, drawing Arthur quickly to his side. "Camelot seems to have changed a bit since my day. I have a feeling your court may be quite different from your father's."

"You may be right, my Lord," Arthur's voice agreed with a hint of annoyance.

"A good thing too," the aging lord declared as their footsteps sounded on the stone floors. "It'll do you good, my boy. Mark my words. It will do you the world of good."