A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot, with Naruto and Sasuke skipping off into the sunset in the end. Unfortunately, Sasuke didn't seem to want the story to end that easily, and I suddenly found myself writing a multi chapter fic. The problem with multi-chapter fics is I need to plan them; oneshots, I just write. Suddenly I found myself needing more backstory than I started with; I think I've managed to fill all the plot holes...I really hope so, anyway! I've never posted something that wasn't completely finished before, so I'm fairly nervous, but if I left chapter one sitting any longer, I would start to rip it appart. Chapter two needs editing, then I'll post it. I'm currently writing chapter three

Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, and I make no money from this fic

The Words I Couldn't Say

Chapter One

Sasuke stared at the mask in his hands, running his fingers over the black satin, circling the eye holes, caressing the purple and black feathers that formed a crest around it. This would be the last time, he thought, the very last time that he indulged in his desires. A knock on his door made him jump. Swallowing a sudden pang of guilt, he quickly slipped the mask back into the draw, and unlocked his bedroom door.

A slender woman, her strawberry blonde hair falling in a feathered bob around her face, stood in the doorway, her hand raised to knock again. Her hand dropped, and she shot him a smile as Sasuke slipped out of his room, shutting the door behind him. Sakura Haruno was his fiancée, and one of the main reasons that he seemed to constantly have a flock of crows trying to peck their way out of his gut. The match had been pretty much arranged by his parents; they had introduced them, and Sasuke had agreed to date Sakura, mainly to get his parents off his back. However, as much as he had grown to like Sakura, he didn't love her. He couldn't love her; he was in love with someone else. Also, there was the issue of her gender. For the past 3 years, Sasuke had put Sakura off, telling her that he didn't believe in sex before marriage. Or indeed, doing anything more than holding hands before marriage. The hypocrisy ate at him, sometimes. If only she knew.

More and more, he felt he was being unfair to Sakura. It was wrong of him to expect her to marry someone who couldn't love her; but he could find no way to break it off without hurting her. Unless he told the truth; but that was something he could never do. There was no point, anyway; even if he confessed, there was no way he could be with the one he loved. So there they were, both trapped, and Sakura was still innocent enough not to realise. Sasuke really hated his life.

"Your Mother sent me to tell you that dinner was almost ready," Sakura said, letting out a small sigh as her not so subtle attempt to see into Sasuke's room was thwarted by his swift closing of the door.

"I'll accompany you down, now," he replied, offering his arm to her in a gesture that had become instinctual, a behaviour drummed into him since infancy.

He led her down the wide corridor; the décor was designed to reflect the regency period, when the house was first built. Paintings of former scions of the Uchiha line hung on the wall, the distinctive dark eyes glaring down from gilt frames. Sasuke tried not to shy away from their censure, to walk with confidence down the hall he was destined to inherit.

They walked down the wide staircase at the end of the corridor, Sakura wobbling slightly. Sasuke glanced down, and noticed that she was wearing new shoes with high stiletto heels. He wondered if she was trying to impress him; now that he thought about it, the neckline of her dress was very low for a family dinner, her small breasts exposed practically to the nipple. He supposed his father would enjoy the view.

They were the last ones to arrive; as was his mother's custom, family dinners were never just family, and the long table was fairly full this evening. His brother was there; obviously feeling well enough to attend. Sasuke was glad; the last few times Itachi had been too unwell to leave his room. Itachi's illness, a wasting disease that even the top doctors had been unable to cure, was the reason that Sasuke was the heir and not Itachi. Sasuke couldn't find it in himself to resent Itachi, though. The sickness had messed up both their lives. Itachi's friend Neji sat beside Itachi, making sure that all the cutlery was in reach so Itachi didn't have to lean to get anything.

Sasuke's mother and father sat at opposite ends of the table, interacting as little as possible. His father was speaking to Itachi, and his mother was having an animated conversation with her best friend, Kushina Uzumaki. Sasuke felt his heat begin to pound; he could hear it echoing in his ears. If Kushina was there, then…his eyes fixed hungrily on the blond sitting a few seats down from Kushina. Naruto was his best friend; their mother's had been pregnant at the same time, and the two of them had practically been raised together, dragged off to the different rallies and causes that Kushina supported.

Sasuke had been in love with Naruto for as long as he could remember. He had, however, managed to keep his feelings to himself. He and Naruto had never spoken of things like feelings; as far as Naruto was aware, Sasuke was happily heterosexual and in love with his fiancée. It made sense, since Naruto was in the same position himself, although he and Hinata had yet to announce any formal engagement. Sasuke's eyes flicked briefly to the shy girl sat next to Naruto. He didn't want to hate her, but it was hard when she had everything he wanted.

Sasuke sat opposite Naruto with a small sigh. The blond glanced up, and fixed Sasuke with his devastating grin, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Well, I lose that one," he said.

Sasuke blinked, confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"I bet Hinata that you would spend the afternoon brooding in your room, and that we wouldn't see you tonight."

Hinata blushed, and buried her face in her water cup. Sakura glared at Naruto. Sasuke frowned.

"Why would I be brooding?" He asked. He had always been very careful to ensure that no one saw through the façade he had built up around himself. Surely Naruto of all people hadn't penetrated it.

Naruto raised a shoulder in a careless shrug, moving his glass as a maid placed the first course in front of him. He turned to thank the maid, and shoot her another one of his smiles before answering Sasuke. "Because you've been a major pain in the ass all week."

Both Sasuke and Sakura hissed at him; Fugaku Uchiha deplored bad language

Naruto continued, ignoring them both, "And I figured that something must have crawled up your butt, and when you're all pissy about something, you tend to avoid people."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wondered why he was in love with Naruto. "I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth.

"So fine that you're going to go and sulk in your room straight after dinner?" Naruto bated.

Sasuke was a bit stuck with that one; he was going to have to leave straight after dinner, but certainly not for the reasons that Naruto was thinking. He settled for shooting Naruto a glare.

Dinner went the same way it always did; Sakura babbled cheerfully at Sasuke's side, trying to entice him in conversation, while Sasuke was forced to watch Naruto flirting with an impossibly red Hinata. Surely she was used to it by now, Sasuke thought irritably. She didn't have to blush every damn time Naruto paid her a compliment. Kushina drank too much, and ended up dancing on the table; ignoring Fugaku's glare and Mikoto's embarrassed pleas for her to stop. Naruto just laughed. Naruto laughed again when Sasuke left early, begging a headache. He left his barely eaten food, feeling Naruto's knowing gaze on his back.

Sasuke locked his door behind him, leaning against the solid wood. Sometimes he wished he could be more like Kushina, and just not give a damn what other people thought. Well, he was going to do what he wanted that night, anyway. Sasuke pushed away from the door, leaving the dutiful son behind him.

He peeled off the tie, shirt and trousers like a snake shedding its skin, before stepping into the shower, the scene of so many of his Naruto fantasies over the years. Curling his lip in a sneer at his own stupidity, Sasuke scrubbed himself clean, as if he could scrub away all responsibility, Itachi's illness, Hinata, Sakura, his own unrequited love.

Sasuke took his time sorting his hair, making sure that it spiked out at the back just right. He knew he was stalling, but he couldn't help it; tonight would definitely be the last time. He closed his eyes, banishing the guilt that was rising inside him; he refused to feel it tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough to feel bad. In a fit of pique he flung his comb across the room.

He dressed quickly; tight, black leather trousers, a dark purple shirt that clung to his body like a second skin, and knee high boots with steel buckles. He grabbed the mask from the draw, gripping it tightly. Normally he would line his eyes with kohl, but the mask would cover it up. Definitely the last time, he thought as he opened his window, quickly climbing down the trellis that he had positioned for this purpose.

He stalked through the dark garden, keeping close to the house. The only place he had to be wary was when he passed the back lounge, where his family and friends usually went after dinner. Tonight a window was open, and he could hear their voices, laughing and joking. Sasuke squeezed the mask in a death grip, hearing Naruto's laugh louder than anyone's, bubbling with pure joy. Sasuke's heart clenched, and he snuck a peek as he passed the window. Naruto had Hinata sat on his knee, her face pressed against his chest. Sasuke studied the blond's profile for a long moment, wishing desperately that things were different. He turned and left, stifling the bleakness in his soul. He didn't look back, so he didn't notice Naruto's head turning, the blue eyes following him as he dashed to his car.

Sasuke was hit by another wave of doubt as he drove into town. He shouldn't be doing this; not only was he betraying Sakura, he was betraying Naruto, too. He drove around the block five times, circling the large rundown building that was his destination. In the end, though, he crumbled. He parked his car in the large car park behind the club; despair won over guilt, as it always did. Even though he knew the guilt would be back, for a few hours he could live out his fantasy, even if it was a hollow shadow of what he really wanted.

The club was an interesting one, something that Sasuke had discovered a few years back. The whole ground floor was a gay bar; compete with a DJ and large dance floor. However, that was just a front for the real purpose of the club. Sasuke thought of it like a brothel where everyone was the whore. For a small fee you could go upstairs, where there was a smaller dance floor. However, the main purpose was not to dance, but to hook up. Leading off from this area were rooms; some were just bedrooms, and would fit in in a cheap hotel. Others were tailor-made to appeal to all sorts of fetishes and kinks. Anonymity was encouraged, hence the mask.

Sasuke slipped on the mask before entering the club. It covered the top half of his face, the feathers blending in with his hair. He liked to keep his mouth free. He didn't always bring the mask, sometimes he fooled himself into thinking that he would just dance, that he wouldn't go upstairs. But he always ended up there, always looking for the same thing; a blue eyed blond of the right height and build, a stranger that he could pretend was someone else.

Sasuke didn't bother with the ground floor of the club that night; he went straight upstairs, paying the bouncer on the door without looking at him. The smaller dance floor was crowded, bodies writhing and crowding together, making it look like some sort of orgy. Which sometimes actually happened, or so Sasuke had been told. That really wasn't his thing, though. He scanned the crowd, his eyes catching the occasional flash of blond; none of them were right, so he kept on looking.

A feather light touch on his arm brought his head snapping away from the crowd to the man who had managed to creep up on him. Sasuke found himself looking into deep blue eyes. His heart thudded, and his mouth turned dry. The man was clad all in black; black jeans, black shirt, and a black silk hood that covered his head, obscuring all but his eyes. But it didn't matter that Sasuke couldn't see the blond hair, not when he was faced with those eyes. The hand on his arm tightened, and Sasuke let himself be led away.

He trailed the masked man through a back door, and down a narrow corridor, his boots sticking to the filthy carpet. Doors lined the corridor. The man tightened his grip on Sasuke's arm, and they stopped. Sasuke watched as the man opened the door, then followed him into the room beyond. He was almost disappointed to see that it was one of the normal rooms; the hood had turned his fantasies darker, had made him think about being tied up. The man locked the door behind them, and for a long while they just looked at each other, silently.

Eventually, Sasuke took the initiative. He walked towards the other man, staring into those blue eyes. He reached out with one hand, and cupped the bulge in the front of the man's jeans. It felt thick and hard, and a wave of lust rolled through Sasuke. With a small moan he dropped to his knees, unzipping the jeans and freeing the cock within them. Sasuke caught it in his hands, noticing the blond curls at the base. He reached out with his tongue and lapped at the head, the taste making him groan. He glanced up to find blue eyes looking down at him, and he felt his own cock go uncomfortably rock hard in his trousers.

Sasuke slowly slid the cock into his mouth, cupping the length with his tongue as he moved down, relaxing his throat, trying to get all of it in. he moved his hands, gripping the jean clad hips, not stopping until his nose was buried in the blond curls. He felt the zipper graze his cheek, and head the man let out a low groan, slightly muffled by the hood. It was the first sound that Sasuke had heard him make since he had grabbed his arm. That was fine; Sasuke preferred that the men he had sex with didn't speak. It helped to maintain the illusion.

Sasuke swallowed around the cock in his mouth, causing the man to let out another groan. Then he sucked, hollowing his cheeks as he dragged his lips up the shaft, caressing it with his tongue as he did so. He felt the man's hands on his face, then his mask was being removed. He looked into the blue eyes, feeling fingers tangle in his hair. Sasuke would have smiled if his mouth wasn't full of cock. He began to move up and down the shaft slowly, teasingly. The hands in his hair tightened, and he felt the hips under his hands jerk, as if the man was trying to hold back. Sasuke let his hands drop, not wanting to restrict the man. He didn't want gentle, or considerate. He didn't deserve that.

Sasuke released the cock with a wet popping sound. "Fuck my mouth," he said, his voice echoing hoarsely in the dark room. He took the cock back into his mouth, teasing the head with his lips, licking at the slit and tasting the salt of pre-come.

With a groan the man tightened his grip in Sasuke's hair, and thrust with his hips, sinking his cock deep into Sasuke's throat. Sasuke used his lips and tongue as best as he was able to while the man used his mouth with long, deep thrusts. Sasuke moaned around the thick cock, imagining what it would feel like buried deep in his ass. His trousers were ruined with the amount of pre-come leaking from him. He wanted to grab the man's hips, but he worried that it would be taken the wrong way, and the hard thrusts would stop. He clenched his fists instead, burying his nails into the palms of his hand.

Abruptly, the man ripped Sasuke's head from his cock. Sasuke stared into eyes darkened with lust, and his heart pounded, painfully loud. Sasuke let himself be dragged to his feet, and pushed towards the bed. He was bent over the baseboard, the wood digging into his stomach until he propped himself on his hands. Sasuke spread his legs, anticipation thrumming through him. He felt strong hands grip his hips, then slip around to unfasten his trousers. One slipped in and caressed his cock, making him gasp and writhe. His trousers were pulled down until his boots arrested their movement. The hand returned briefly to his cock, before moving behind to caress his balls. The other hand slid up his back, caressing along his spine. He felt the cock, still wet with his spit in the crease of his ass, ghosting past his hole, and causing him to tremble with desire.

The hands and cock moved away, and Sasuke let out a gasp at their loss. He heard a soft ripping, and the click of a cap being flipped open. Then the hand was back, probing between his ass cheeks, now slick with lube. A finger pressed against his hole, and with a sigh Sasuke relaxed enough to give it entry. The man behind him let out a soft whisper that was muffled by his hood. Sasuke pushed up, impaling himself on the finger that was moving too slowly. He wanted more, and he wanted it now. He wanted to feel the throbbing burn of being breached by a cock, the mixture of pain and pleasure that could just about drive him mad.

He let out a small sob of frustration as the finger was removed. But the man seemed to have somehow read his mind, because the finger was replaced with the thick head of the man's cock, pressing against him, demanding entrance. Sasuke relaxed his hole as much as he could, wanting desperately to be filled. The man had lubed his dick, but it still burned as it forcibly stretched Sasuke. The man went so slowly that Sasuke felt he could scream in frustration. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He bore back, using his palms pressed on the bed for leverage. He felt the cock sink into him, deep and hard, brushing against his inner walls, pressing the spot inside that made his stomach flip in a weird vertigo. Pleasure twisted with pain, the two sensations ruling him, taking him over driving everything away, the guilt, the hurt. The world compressed, until the only thing that mattered was the cock inside him, driving him crazy.

The man began fucking him with slow, steady thrusts; out, until just the tip was stretching his hole, then in, deep until he felt the man's balls against his. The man gripped his hips tightly, using the leverage to get his thrusts deeper. Sasuke could hear his breath coming in gasps as the thick cock dragged against his prostate, sending tingling jolts of pleasure through his balls and cock, swirling in his stomach. His cock ached, and he longed to touch it, but the baseboard of the bed was in the way, and with the man's hands on his hips, there was no way that Sasuke could twist to get a hand free. It was an agony bordering on ecstasy.

The man let out a groan, and his thrusts began to speed up. Sasuke gasped at the pleasure that swirled through him. He began to push back, meeting each thrust, loving the harsh thwack as their hips met. Normally he would drift into fantasy, imagining Naruto's blue eyes, thick with passion meeting his, Naruto's hands and mouth on his body, Naruto kissing him. He didn't kiss the guys he fucked, but he imagined it, with Naruto. But the hard fucking from the masked man, the deep thrusts of his heavy cock, drove everything from Sasuke, even fantasy. It was too good; it was as if the man was trying to drive himself into Sasuke, to claim him. And Sasuke wanted it; the feeling of being possessed, of being wanted, needed. Then the pleasure was mounting, taking him over, and with a gasp of Naruto's name he came so hard his head rang.

The man lasted a bit longer, five hard, deep thrusts that had Sasuke half hard again, then he came, grunting out something that was muffled by the mask and the blood pounding in Sasuke's ears. Sasuke crumpled bonelessly as the man released his grip on his hips, pulling out of him and leaving the baseboard of the bed as his only support. Sasuke managed a graceless tumble to the floor, still breathing heavily from the aftershocks of his orgasm. A full minute passed before he could raise his head and look at the man. Blue eyes met his, steady and unblinking, as if waiting for Sasuke to speak. Sasuke opened his mouth, but couldn't summon the words. Five long drawn out minutes passed, each second feeling like an hour. Then the expression in the blue eyes changed, and the man turned to leave.

Something inside Sasuke snapped, and suddenly he had to know. He jumped to his feet, tugging up his trousers to cover his damp, flaccid cock. the man must have heard Sasuke's fumbling because he had half turned around when Sasuke grabbed his hood. So Sasuke was confronted by those blue eyes, wide with surprise, set in Naruto's face, instead of the back of his spiky blond head.

"I really thought that you were going to let me leave," Naruto said softly.

Sasuke stared wide eyed at the man he loved, wondering when he had dropped through the black hole into an alternate dimension. The hood dropped from his numb fingers, fluttering to the floor between them.

"Sasuke," Naruto said softly, reaching out to him. Naruto's hand was a hairsbreadth from Sasuke's face when he ducked out of the way. He pushed past Naruto, managing to unlock the door and duck out before Naruto could react. Then he ran; his mind numb. Only one thought entered it; away. He had to get away from Naruto.