Things (Not) To Do At Wal-Mart

It all started with that list....

"Alright," Sakura smiled evil and crossed her arms over her chest. "You are all probably wondering why I've called you here today..." Naruto, Shikamaru and the twelve plus gang members sat around the living room of the Haruno apartment with mutable facial expressions. Some indifferent, others curiosity and a few horror.

The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy raised his hand. "Does it have something to do with teme and you breaking-?"

WAHPAM!

Sakura's yardstick slammed over his head.

"Ow. . ."

"Do not use that language in my house! And no, this has nothing to do with Sas-gay." There were a few snickers from the black clad teenagers sitting on her love-seat. "Or revenge on Chicken-ass." The three other Uchiha's and Sasuke's brother's lackey Kisame sighed deeply, bored. "We will cover that at a later date. Anyway, I found a list and. . ." Sakura reached behind her and pulled down and projector screen.

"Where did she get that?" Itachi asked.

"Please, leave all questions for the end of the production. Thank you~! Tobi, lights." Sakura wheeled around and pointed at the 'Uchiha Zone'.

"Lights!" The masked Uchiha clapped and the room became dark.

Sakura pressed a button on the remote and her project turned on and in black boxy letters read: '333 Things To Do At Wal-Mart'.

"I'm intrigued." Madara smirked and leaned forward in his seat.

Sakura grinned like a maniack and grasped both ends of her yardstick.

"I've called you all here today because you are the most diabolical, plotting little monsters I know," Sakura pointed with her (slightly damaged) yardstick at the screen. "As you can see I have a plan. I found this list while scrolling through some FanFiction accounts and I had the most amazing idea. . .Why not try a few of these? Summer break has is almost over and we have all not been -how should I say this? - LAZY with our plans to take over this town! Pein, Nagato-nii, Yahiko, Konan, you three have been my idols since I was little, now lend me your brains and. . .Question?"

Everyone wheeled around to watch Deidara lower his hand.

"So, we're gonna pull a bunch of pranks in Wal-Mart for no apparent reason?"

"Correct."

"And what if we get caught?" Sasori asked.

"Oh, that. . ." Sakura looked at her remote and pressed a button. A blue print of a local Wal-Mart appeared on the screen. "I'll print off a few copies and have this in each of our survival packs."

"Survival packs?" Kakuzu questioned.

"Filled with things we will need for said pranks." Madara offered and Sakura nodded.

"Hai and since this list contains so many wonderfully evil things I couldn't possibly do them all myself, in result, I had Nagato-nii-san call an emergency Akatsuki meet so you'd all haul ass up here." Sakura smiled sweetly and gripped both ends of the yardstick. "Now back to the main objective,"

The yardstick slapped against the screen, causing a few to jump.

After the presentation of the list Sakura faced the crowd, hands on hips.

"Are you with me?"

The Akatsuki looked at each other and nodded.

"Alright! Let's get kicked out of Wal-Mart!" Naruto shouted. Sakura glanced at him and, with both hands, slammed the yardstick down on top of his head.

SNAP!

"Ow!"

"You broke my ruler!"

Shikamaru sighed irritably, shuffling through his 'ninja pouch' that Sakura had given him. If he hadn't lived in the apartment next to the crazy, pink-haired girl he wouldn't have been dragged into this mess. . .he could be sleeping in right now. It was Sunday. Then again it was either this or shopping with Ino, followed by lunch with Choji. . .and both of them tended to be 'broke' everytime. Yeah, this had to be the cheapest option.

"Now I'll split you up into teams." Sakura -the dictator of the day- stood on her coffee table. Camo bandana tied around her forehead and black streaks on her cheeks -the attire she'd picked out for everyone. "I'm leader of Team 1, Nagato-nii-san is leader of Team 2, Madara is leader of Team 3 and Sasori is leader of Team 4."

Someone raised there hand: Naruto.

"Question?"

"Yeah, why aren't I a team leader?"

"Because you broke my yardstick and now I must purchase a new one."

"Yeah, but you let Madara be a team leader."

"And?"

"He's Sasu-"

If looks could kill.

"You-Know-Who's uncle!"

"Well. . .that's different."

"How?"

"I like Mikoto-okaa-chan a helluva lot better than her offspring!" Sakura glanced sideways. "No offense to you, Itachi-kun."

"None taken."

"Good. Now, team leaders! Let's see who we have on our teams."

Sakura passed around an old baseball hat and all the leader's withdrew a slip of paper. Each with three names on it.

"Team 1: Tobi, Kisame, and Pein you're coming with me." Sakura grinned wickedly.

"Team 2," Nagato glanced at his cousin and sighed. "Itachi, Hidan, Naruto and Jashinette. . .Wait who's Jashinette?"

"Hidan's pet pit-bull." Kakuzu stated blandly, trading his usual face mask for a camouflage patterned one.

Nagato glanced wearily at the animal sitting near Hidan's leather clad foot. The silver haired man patted the dog's head. "I named her after Lord Jashin."

"She's needed on this mission." Sakura explained.

"Oh-kay."

"Team 3: Shikamaru, Yahiko, and Konan." Madara glanced up from the list he was given to Sakura. "What?"

Sakura shrugged. "I tried to make it as even as possible: one serious, one crack-addict idiot, and one or two plotting minds."

"Hmm," Madara read over the list again.

Sasori finished painting his face and ranted off his own list. "Team 4: Deidara, Zetsu and Kakuzu."

"'Kay! To the vans!" Sakura pumped her fist in the air and a few followed with: "Hell yeah's" and "Whoo-hoo's"

Those Wal-Mart people would never see them coming....

Okay! To explain a few things: Pein and Nagato and Yahiko are their own people. As are Tobi and Madara.

Sakura is Nagato's cousin.
Madara is Mikoto's (Sasuke's and Itachi's mother's) uncle but he is (obviously) younger than her. He was born late, it has happened.
Sakura obviously knows the Uchiha through the unnameable amount of time she has spent dating Sasuke and has met his mother.
Hidan has a dog, yes and he would.

Sakura is take her break up kidda hard, ne? Broke a perfectly good ruler too. . .