Title: Kith and Kin
Author: gleefulmusings
Beta: mysterious_daze
Fandoms: Angel the Series/Glee, Seasons Two, AU
Main Characters: Cordelia Chase, Kurt Hummel

Pairing(s): Kurt/Santana/Sam, Burt/Carole, Finn/Rachel, Mike/Tina, Artie/Brittany
Rating: T
Warning(s): Language, slash, femslash, threesome, mild violence and sexual situations.

Spoilers: Seasons One and Two of Angel; Season Two of Glee through Never Been Kissed.
Distribution: Please ask first. Please do not screencap this story, save it to hard drives, exchange with others, or translate into other languages without written consent.
Feedback: Con-crit is always welcome; flames are ridiculed and put on display.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Snippets of dialogue may be incorporated from the original canonical episode(s) and belong to their respective authors/creators. The original characters and plot are the property of the author(s). The author(s) is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, nor should any be inferred. No profit is being made.

Summary: Kurt confides in his cousin about the debacle with Karofsky, and she's not about to put up with it. Cordelia Chase hits Lima.

Cordelia Chase surveyed her office – well, really it was the reception room, but since she was the receptionist, she wasn't about to quibble over stupid technicalities – with boredom and disdain. Where were all the cases? Where were all the innocents she was supposed to allow Angel to help her save? Where was the money she needed to pay for essentials, like food, shelter, and shoes? This was so unfair!

Apparently, Los Angeles in November succumbed to the same oddity Sunnydale experienced on Halloween: all of the demons just packed up and went on vacation to…wherever the hell demons went that wasn't hell. Weirdos. The city was barely tolerable when the demons were in residence. Their absence just reinforced her understanding that the human denizens of the city were as perverse and ruthless as any creepy that Buffy might encounter on her nightly cemetery patrols.

She sighed and stared off at nothing. This was almost as pathetic as her acting career. Seriously, a goddess like her had been turned down to peddle discount makeup on television? It was mortifying! Not to mention the samples the director had insisted she try had given her a slight rash which was only now just clearing up. But that was okay; he would pay. She had seen to that.

A large smirk stretched across her face as she closed her eyes in triumph. And it wasn't like it could even be traced back to her! She had covered her tracks far too well, and it was so easy to manipulate Willow with computer questions. The dumb witch still felt guilty about that whole Xander-in-the-Factory thing, and Cordelia was more than happy to take advantage of it. The Red Menace owed her for pain and suffering and would for all eternity.

She curled her lip. Stupid Xander. Stupid Willow. Stupid Spike. Stupid her for not being able to let Xander go after almost two years. Ugh! He couldn't even dress properly! And his ears were so enormous that moons should have been orbiting them! And his…well, that had been impressive. Damn. She shook her head in frustration.

She briefly entertained a revenge fantasy which included Willow burning at the stake as she threw old, balding tires onto the flames, but was snapped out of her reverie by the ringing of the telephone.

Angel was so bored. He didn't even know it was possible for him to be bored. Usually when he had a moment to himself, he engaged with a quality brood or some heavy guilt about his very cruel past misdeeds. If he was feeling especially rueful, he enjoyed a nice sulk about Buffy and their doomed tragic love which would echo throughout all eternity or whatever, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that!

All he was left with was glaring at the telephone, determined to make it ring so that he had something to do, even if was just rescuing a cat up a tree. He might as well use his height to his advantage for once.

Apparently, however, the miseries that were the Powers That Be were unwilling to throw him even that much of a bone. Stupid Powers. Useless Oracles. Damned Quest for Redemption.

He heaved a dramatic sigh and then pouted because no one was around to hear it. Wesley was off at some geeky library thing, while Cordelia was in the outer office, most likely once again thinking of ways to dispatch Willow. He loved Cordelia, he truly did. She was his best friend. But she really needed to get over it already.

And then, like a ray of sunshine, of the non-lethal variety, the phone rang.

He went to grab for the receiver, but a chirpy voice indicated that he had once again been bested. Stupid cheerleader reflexes.

He pouted again.

"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless! Are you hopeless? Please be hopeless."

"I'm getting there."

Cordelia frowned. "Kurty?" Her mouth fell open with pure joy as she shot to her feet. "Kurty!"

Angel heard the exclamation and inched toward the door, desperate for some further insight into Cordelia Chase. The girl was absolutely maddening. For some reason, she had the uncanny ability to glance at him and know exactly what he was thinking and feeling. It was disgusting and embarrassing, especially because she was always right and took great pleasure in it.

She was still a mystery to him. It wasn't that she lied or concealed anything about herself. She was an open book and was more than willing to turn the pages for you to explore, always happy to tell you about your deficiencies and why she would always be better than you. But those things about herself which she didn't wish to share, she simply refused to discuss, and she did a better job of evading interrogation than most humans thrice her age. She was so adept at finding the weaknesses of others and exploiting them for her own ends or amusement that the more skill she gained, the more ruthless she became and the better she was at deflecting unwanted attention.

She was terrifying.

Kurty. Angel knew the call was from Kurt Hummel, the only member of Cordelia's family who continued to speak to her after her father lost his fortune. Kurt not only loved Cordelia, he revered her, and it was entirely mutual.

He tried to recall what he knew of the boy. Kurt was about sixteen, he believed, although it was possible he was now seventeen, almost three years younger than Cordelia. A junior in high school, if he remembered correctly. He was a distant relation, something like second cousin twice removed, but the familial bond between he and Cordelia was solid and always had been. The boy's father had opened up his house to Cordelia after the audit, and even offered to help pay her way through state school, but she had no interest in moving to Ohio.

In fact, he was fairly certain that Kurt had discouraged her from doing just that. His hometown was small and, apparently, very bigoted and conservative. He had claimed it would have suffocated Cordelia, and the boy had probably been right. She had been very grateful to Burt Hummel, but the only reason she had even considered moving there was to be with Kurt. Since she had already graduated high school and would need a job if she had hoped to attend college, she most likely wouldn't have seen enough of him to make the move worth it. Instead, she fully planned for Kurt to come and live with her in Los Angeles after his own graduation.

From the files Cordelia had played for him on her laptop, he knew the boy was exceedingly talented, possessing a singing voice which had an almost otherworldly quality. He had been astonished by Kurt's vocal range, the boy hitting high notes so flawlessly Angel wanted to weep, reminded of the boys' choirs of Ireland in his youth. He had agreed with Cordelia that were Kurt to pursue his music seriously, he would do best in New York, but Los Angeles was acceptable, especially given that she would be there to watch over him.

Her fierce devotion to her cousin had surprised him. She wasn't by nature an emotional person, and she had displayed no signs of loss after her parents had abandoned her. He still wasn't sure what her relationship with them had been like, and she wasn't telling. Cordelia, like Xander, was frustratingly tight-lipped about her home life. But she loved Kurt and Angel couldn't believe that was anything other than good.

He was surprised Kurt was contacting her at the office. This set off an alarm within him, as their calls usually took place on the weekends. She hadn't told him much about Kurt, nothing of substance at any rate, but Angel knew the boy was gay and was mercilessly bullied, not just by his peers, but essentially by his town. More than one Monday had seen Cordelia storming into the office muttering threats under her breath, in between choked sobs over the latest attacks, be they physical or verbal. He didn't know why Kurt was calling, but he was worried.

Angel cocked his head and attuned his hearing, not bothering to feel guilty for eavesdropping. He listened as Cordelia rambled on about nothing in particular, and he knew she was slowly reeling him in, that she herself was worried about the nature of the call. After five minutes, she had lulled him into a false sense of security and then went to town.

Kurt offered halfhearted denials, but quelled under her ruthless interrogation and soon capitulated.

Cordelia sat at her desk, posture rigid, as Kurt detailed what had happened to him in the locker room. Angel could smell her rage, could hear her heartbeat increase as her blood pressure skyrocketed. He himself was gripping his desk so tightly that the wood began to splinter.

"Kurt, did he do more than kiss you? Did…did he touch you? Did h-he…"

"No," the boy softly whispered.

But Angel ascertained that Kurt was afraid it was going to escalate, and Angel agreed. This was a dangerous situation, and Kurt was hesitant and ashamed to involve his father. So if the school wasn't going to do anything, than Angel was sure Cordelia would.

He listened as she tried to soothe the boy. He listened as the boy refused to tell his father of his suffering. He listened as Cordelia listed Kurt's friends one by one, encouraging him to talk to Mercedes or Tina, even though all of them knew it would be pointless. No student at the school could protect Kurt, and the faculty couldn't even be bothered to do their jobs. It was sickening.

And Angel had had it. He picked up his phone and dialed LAX.

"I need two seats on your next available flight into Port Columbus International Airport. If you can't get me there directly, get me as close as you can."

He waited for three minutes until the agent returned and said there weren't any flights to Columbus until the next day, but there was a red-eye to New York that had a layover in Dayton and left in four hours.

"Book it."

He gave her his credit card information, the relevant vital statistics for both himself and Cordelia, hung up and turned to look at Cordelia through the observation window in his office. She was urging Kurt to take a long, hot shower and climb into bed. She would call him tomorrow and together they would come up with something, some kind of plan, because she was not about to let anything happen to him and woe unto anyone who stood in her way.

Angel could hear her pouring her strength into the boy, a boy who was already far stronger than he should have to be, given his age. He was reminded of Buffy. And then of Xander, Cordelia, Willow, Oz, Faith, and Kendra, children who had been forced to grow up far before their times.

It was unfair. It was wrong. And he remembered that not all the evils of this world were supernatural.

He listened as Cordelia tried and failed to end the call on a cheerful note. After Kurt had hung up, Angel saw the tears begin to streak down her face. She placed the receiver back in its cradle and hastily wiped the tears away.

Then she stood, ripped the phone cord from the wall, and threw the instrument across the room, screaming threats of vengeance so creative they scared even Angelus.

Much better.

He should leave a message for Wesley and then start packing.

End Notes: I've been writing in the Buffy/Angel fandom for a number of years, and have decided to begin integrating what I consider my primary fandom with that of Glee. As my favorite character by far is Cordelia Chase, I decided it would simply be fabulous if I could have her interact with Kurt Hummel. We don't know much about Cordelia's family, so there's a lot of wiggle room. In short, Cordelia and Kurt are related through their mothers, who were cousins. Both Cordelia and Kurt consider each other their only relatives who count (excluding Burt). So Cordelia is going to hit Lima like the oncoming storm she is and no one is safe. She will be interacting with Sue.

This will also be a LoHevans story, my first foray into writing a Glee threesome, and yes, Kurt, Sam, and Santana will all be involved with each other. Kurt is gay; Santana is his exception. I figure if we can slash Kurt with boys who are canonically straight, I can put him with a girl. Besides, he also has Sam, so he's getting by just fine. Yeah, I can't seem to stop writing Hevans. I don't want to either. They're becoming my OTP. And Kurtana, in any form, is gravy.

Finally, a warning: this is going to get very AU, for Glee especially. So if you're overly concerned about canon, you probably shouldn't invest your time in this story, because canon is going right out the window.