Short but sweet. Another Cass monologue. A bit choppy, but ah, well. Enjoy!

No one ever really showed me how to love,
but I've done the very best that I could.
I'm selfish sometimes,
I'm jealous,
But I cant imagine, how hard life would be without you

I take things for granted sometimes. My well-paid job and high rank at a world famous crime syndicate. The fact that I have a warm, safe home. All the luxuries I get that some people don't have the advantage of owning. I'm awfully self-centered and spoilt, it can't be helped. It's easy to value everyday things more lightly than I probably should- because one wrong step, and it could all go wrong. But there's one thing I take for granted more than anything; coincidentally, the most important thing. Something that, deep down, means the whole world to me. In fact, to think how drastically different my life would be without it is scary. I never say it out loud, but I couldn't possibly be more grateful. Because I've had the good fortune of meeting someone who changed me for the better. Who gave me a chance, made me laugh, taught me things.

Butch. He's so much more than my partner in crime. He's a best friend, a soulmate, and...something else, something that I just couldn't put into words. He makes me laugh when nobody else can even manage to summon a smile from me. He's stood by me, the stuck-up ice queen, while everyone else headed for the hills. And no matter how often I took my problems out on him, blamed him for things that went wrong, and acted like an ungrateful brat, he still stuck around and picked up the pieces when I fell apart. Before I met him; my only goal in life was to hurt people, look down on people, and be "better" than everyone and anyone. Butch gave me another outlook, and made me see it's not always crucial to be such an uptight little snob.

I've never had feelings like this for anyone else...not ever. Not for anyone. I couldn't sum it up in words. It's like butterflies, but more intense. I don't show it, ever; but when I'm with him, when it's just the two of us and we talk about things aside from work, when we fool around like we're teenagers or discuss the future and our most concealed feelings...I couldn't be happier. I connect with him. I think he knows me better than I know myself. He sees right through my feigned smiles when I'm hurting, and he doesn't fall for my stubborn pout when I'm on the verge of laughter. His presence comforts me. He makes me feel safe. And I wouldn't tell him for the world, but every time I hear his voice, I smile. Because I love it.

Our relationship isn't perfect though. No way. It's rocky and fiery and up and down; sometimes we act like we hate each other. But it's never permanent. We've been through rough times together, we've made enemies and we've gotten ourselves into trouble. But when we don't have anything else, we still have that one thing left that nothing or nobody could take away; an unbreakable bond, if you will.

Butch is the only man I've ever trusted- the only one who's ever worked to earn that trust. He's the only person I can see myself with in ten years time; I do wonder, sometimes, if we'll ever give up the life of crime and go somewhere far away from it all, together. But no matter where we are, as long as I'm with him, I know I'm safe and content. He's everything to me.