Why Should I?

I never understood why I was meant to hate her. She wasn't a bad person, she didn't come from a bad family. She seem perfect to me. But I was brought up to believe she and her fathers were bad people who should be hated and treated bad. But isn't love, love no matter what form it comes in? Doesn't God love everyone? I asked my mom that once; "Why mummy? Why is her family bad? I don't understand, God loves everyone, that's what Father Joshua says" a six year old Quinn asked her mother. The older blonde looked unsure how to answer her young daughter. "That is a smart question, princess." Her father, Russell, answered sensing that his wife didn't want to hurt their youngest daughter, "But you see, what the Berries men are doing is a sin. And they are forcing Rachel to be part of it too." Russell explained, to a still disbelieving Quinn. No matter how many times my daddy, or Father Joshua, had told me that the Berry family was sinful, I just couldn't believe it. I'd spent time at their home, completing a science project. Mr and Mr Berry, didn't seem sinful. They seemed like loving fathers who only wanted the best for their little diva.

"What are you thinking about?" Finn asked pulling me out of my inner thoughts. Finn, I'd almost forgotten about him, he wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, he didn't really listen to me, or remember important things, but he is kind, and handsome and, well, popular. He is star quarterback and I'm head cheerleader we are expected to date. But it was hard, because every time he kissed me, I thought of her.

"Nothing, I just kinda zoned out. Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked, not really bothered but I didn't want him to start asking questions.

"I was just asking if you wanted to go out for dinner on Friday night?" he mumbled, giving me those infamous puppy dog eyes.

"Sure that sounds good." I said trying to sound excited at the thought, "Shit… I forgot something from my locker. I'll see you in glee." I rush, quickly pecking his cheek and running off.

As I walked the crowded halls towards my locker, I spotted her. She was alone in the choir room like normal, she had her back to me, but I had no doubt it was her. Her gorgeous hair flowing down her back, hiding a baby blue blouse. An ever present short skirt that showed off her long, sexy legs. Why she covered them up with those knee high socks was beyond me. She seemed to be swaying in time to some music, no doubt singing along too. Before I knew what was happening my legs were taking towards the door. I silently opened it, taking in her amazingly power voice, she sounded like a goddess. But what is she singing. I couldn't work it out, needing to move closer, I slipped inside the room, to get in better ear shot.

You're too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You're the one who cries when you're alone

Who is she singing about? If it wasn't for the subtle wording I'd think she was talking about herself. I wish she was singing this about me or to me. But she hates me. Not that I can blame her, all my 'friends' treat her like shit, and although I never join in, I never stop it.

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape

My god she is amazing. I have no doubt she will be one of the world's greatest ever Broadway stars one day. She is so beautiful, her voice is more powerful than any I've ever heard before. And her big brown eyes are so mesmerizing, she will captivate audience after audience with her emotion.

You think that I can't see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You're left to face yourself alone

She's not even looking at me, but I feel like she is looking right into my soul as she sings, she sounds like she describing my life perfectly. But she couldn't possibly be singing this about me, there is no way. She just thinks I am some dumb blonde, cheerleading bimbo. Doesn't she?

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
The truth
I realize you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
You can't escape
You don't want to escape

She was right, who ever this song was about it didn't matter because I knew that I couldn't escape life. I am gay and I am in love with Rachel Berry. But I could never tell her. She'd never feel the same way I do. I mean please, she spends her time making love sick eyes at MY boyfriend, in all fairness a boyfriend who was just my big gay beard, but she doesn't know that.

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone?
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming

I hear her, no matter what she is saying, no matter how crazy she is being. How big a diva fit she is throwing, I always listen. I always have.

Where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
The truth,

I turn to leave now, knowing if I am still there when she finishes I will have to talk to her, and I don't know if I could control myself around her. That is why I keep my distance. That's why I don't stop the hurtful names, or embarrassing slushies. Because she'd want friendship. But I knew I could never just be friends with the girl I loved so deeply.

I realize you're afraid
But you can't reject the whole world

You can't escape

You won't escape

You can't escape

You don't want to escape

It was time I started moving on. Time I realise that Rachel, was never going to return my love. She wanted Finn, and I didn't care if she got him. Because I just wanted her. I'd give it all up for her, I'd give up my repressive family, my sort after popularity, my friends… I'd give it all up if she would just say those four little words….. 'I love you, too'.

Song; 'Where will you go?' by Evanescence

What do you think guys? My first fanfic. Continue?