F for Fuck, my life Anyone else notice we are only on the 5th chapter in Twilight and yet this is chapter I'll be writing this story for years won't I?

Anyway. I have two people that reviewed that spoke up about me having Edward sticking to the book script. One person wanted me to just stop making him follow the book and the other person seemed to find it funny I was making Edward follow the book somewhat. So I want to know what everyone else thinks.

Now I am of the opinion it is funny and keeps him in character, because I am not very confident about Edward's character at all. If anyone would like to Beta for me even if it means reading my chapters right before a post them and giving me advice only on Edward's personality and nothing else. I would really appreciate it and be willing to try to stay away from the book script more.

If it bugs a lot of people I will try harder to get a Beta.

Before we get to the story i just to let you know we are on 81 reviews! Come on! So close to 100! Review! At least get me to the 90s! I love you all so review for me! Also tell me if you want me to do somthing when I get 100 reviews. I'm not sure what, but if you wanted her to act a certain way in a certain chapter and she didn't, or you want a romance sence with her and Jasper or Emmett or hell even her and Alice. I would be more then willing to make just about any kind of one shot for this fic if I reach 100 reviews.

And F for

Fuck I hate this body!

"So your starting the whole going to hell thing by skipping classes." I deadpanned.

"Way to go, really evil there." I said encouragingly.

"I'm not-"

"By Superman!"

I really enjoy leaving when his still talking. It's funny as hell. Now why wasn't he going to class? My mind had completely drawn a blank. Oh well I'm sure it's not anything important.

Fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck and did I say anything about that word that starts with F and ends with uck? No I didn't? Well let me say it now FUCK!

Why am I saying this word you ask? Because my life sucks I reply. I was totally never sick over the bloody smell of blood before I was in the damn awful body. A new brain in this ugly body could get rid of the clumsiness which proves it was a metal problem all along, but it seems that the body's reactions to scents is all Bella and not Bell.

This is what happened so listen the fuck up.

Biology

So first Mr. Banner comes into the room. Dun, Dun, and Dun. He calls the class to order and we see he is holding boxes. Dun, Dun, and fucking Dun again. He puts them on Mike's table and tells him to pass them around. So the teacher's dog obeys and it all goes downhill from there.

The man specks.

"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. The sharp sound as the gloves snapped into place against his wrists seemed ominous to me. "The first should be an indicator card," he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it.

And damn it I was happy. I remembered what this was and I was happy I would be better then Bella again. I was happy I thought I would triumph. I also had never learned my blood type and even though this wasn't my blood I still found the whole process interesting.

"The second is a four-pronged applicator —" he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick "— and the third is a sterile micro-lancet." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped.

Which I found odd. I am not that much of a sissy ok. I can so look at needles all day long without a problem.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you." He began at Mike's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares.

"Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet…"

He grabbed Mike's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike's middle finger.

Oh mother honey ice tea, fuck, damn, motherfucker, I was going to be sick.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Mike's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving.

"And then apply it to the card," he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the ringing in my ears.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type."

He sounded proud of himself. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission — I have slips at my desk."

May I point out that even if I wasn't sick I most certainly was not going to give blood to fake book people.

Instead of letting him continue and risk throwing up I shakily got to my feet and spoke.

"I am going to be sick and I am leaving."

I tried to walk and I was succeeding just fine. I was just a little wobbly, but Mike jumped up and grabbed me saying he would take me to the nurse. Despite my protest-.

"Nooo! Let me go or I shall throw up on you!"

-The damn teacher told him to take me.

I deiced to use Mike as the crutch he was volunteering to be, but not without comment.

"You touch my ass and I will hurt you. Flesh eating pencils. Remember the pencils."

Mike had to half way carried me slowly across the campus and I increased my hatred of Bella with each step. Her body was so wimpy. I felt so lame.

"Lameness. This is so lame. I despair. I will hurt you if your arm brushes my boobs again. Your face. I break it."

Mike may or may not have spoken during my sick ramblings, I wasn't paying attention.

I suddenly deiced that the bleeding boy next to me was not helping.

"Halt. You are bleeding."

"Not really its stopped by now."

"Bleeding I can't stand blood apparently so you leave."

"But Bella-"

"Leave or I make you bleed more!"

This threat might have been a bit diminished seeing as I slumped over on my side and Eskimo kissed the sidewalk. This helped.

"Wow, you're green, Bella," Mike said nervously.

That did not help.

"Bella?" a different voice called from the distance.

I groaned as if I was dying.

"Superman…" I whimpered feebly.

"What's wrong — is she hurt?" His voice was closer now, and he sounded upset.

I deiced to roll over on my back and left one hand to my forehead in a weak woman fainting jester. Hey look, I could either be embarrassed or I could make everyone around me uncomfortable. Guess what I chose to do?

"I is dying. His fault. Kill him or at least make him go away." I waved my arm at Mike.

Mike seemed stressed. "I think she fainted for moment there. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger."

"Idiot." I grumbled.

"Bella." Edward's voice was right beside me, relieved now. "Can you hear me?"

I open one eye and stare at him.

"No. Now make Mike leave."

He raised an eyebrow at Mike and smiled

"I was taking her to the nurse," Mike explained in a defensive tone, "but she wouldn't go any farther."

"I'll take her," Edward said. I could hear the smile still in his voice.

"You can go back to class."

"No," Mike protested. "I'm supposed to do it."

" I told you to- oh fuck!" I started to speck.

Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath me. My eyes closed tightly at the motion. Edward had scooped me up in his arms, as easily as if I weighed ten pounds instead of a hundred and ten.

I was going to vomit. Yes indeed I was going to vomit on a vampire. Ha-ha. Not really funny.

He was walking before I was finished talking.

"Hey!" Mike called, already ten paces behind us.

Edward ignored him. "You look awful," he told me, grinning.

"Why to make a girl feel special. See what you look like when I vomit on you."

The rocking movement of his walk was not helping.

He held me away from his body, gingerly, supporting all my weight with just his arms — it didn't seem to bother him.

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" he asked. This seemed to entertain him. It entertained me too the first time I read it. In the damn book when it happened to someone else!

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes again and fought the nausea with all my strength, clamping my lips together.

"And not even your own blood," he continued, enjoying himself.

"Fuck youuu." I whispered groaned at the end do to the damn motion sickness. Then I gave up on specking and deiced to tempt fate. I estimated a 25 % chance if I died here I would wake up in my world and I really felt bad right now. So I leaned my head back on his shoulder and made myself comfortable with my head against his neck.

Yeah that was real smart of me. Not surprising that he tensed and didn't speck the rest of the way. Maybe it had something to do with him going to look at my face only to see neck. He would only need to lean a little bit to sink his fangs into my neck.

Was I suicidal? Oh god I had joined my pencils in angst!

I don't know how he opened the door while carrying me, but it was suddenly warm, so I knew we were inside.

"Oh my," I heard a female voice gasp.

"She fainted in Biology," Edward explained.

I did not open my eyes I wanted to look dead.

I could still till that I was in the office, and Edward was striding past the front counter toward the nurse's door. Ms. Cope, the redheaded front office receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, astonished, as Edward swung me into the room and placed me gently on the crackly paper that covered the brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Then he moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright, excited.

So I cheated and peaked. Sue me.

"She's just a little faint," he reassured the startled nurse. "They're blood typing in Biology."

The nurse nodded sagely. "There's always one."

He muffled a snicker.

Why the fuck was my pain funny? And how about announcing to the damn class what's going on and asking if anyone had a problem before drawing blood! What an amazing concept!

"Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass."

"Grr," I deadpanned and tried to make it sound like an affirmative noise.

Now that Mike was gone the nausea was fading. How about that?

"Does this happen a lot?" she asked.

"Blood typing? Don't know you tell me."

What a stupid question when she knew the reason I was in here.

Edward coughed to hide another laugh.

I said I wouldn't total his car, but I didn't say I wouldn't total him. Even thou he was a vampire surly it would at least hurt a bit?

"You can go back to class now," she told him.

"I'm supposed to stay with her." He said this with such assured authority that — even though she pursed her lips — the nurse didn't argue it further.

"I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear," she said to me, and then bustled out of the room.

And then we were alone. Just me and Edward and my mouth.

"You could have said something about why you were skipping today."

"I don't know what you mean by that. I don't get nausea around blood."

Thankfully I did not laugh at that, thou it was tempting. I had forgotten that he didn't know that I knew so I couldn't point out he was skipping because of the Blood Typing.

"I mean you could have tried to make it sound more fun and make me go with you." See I have the awesome BSing skills.

"Forgive me for not knowing you would get sick in Biology."

Now he was being sarcastic.

"Very well, but your amusement at my pain shall not be taken so lightly."

"You scared me for a minute there," he admitted after a pause. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness.

"I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

"You really think he is that smart? Besides he wants to fuck not kill me."

I was starting to feel better. Better enough to remember he had quoted himself from the book again. It was annoying.

He winced at the fuck me comment.

"Why do you…act friendly to him sometimes? Most of the time you act like you hate him, but you never push him far enough to make him really leave you alone."

Wow an independent thought from Edward! So how do I explain this without making me sound like a Bitch? All I want from him is to go to that beach thing. Then he will have outlived his usefulness.

"Err? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?" My BS skills failed me. Doom!

"Really?" He didn't look like he believed me for some reason.

"No. I enjoy tormenting people. Mind games and shit. Life is pretty damn boring when you think about it."

"Hmm…I used to think that." Que the unreadable expression. I could almost hear the 'until I met you part'. Have a mentioned he is bi polar. Up down, turn around and there's Eddy.

So is here where I should say that high school is like purgatory? Well why not?