Get ready to read another long chappy xoxo


"I thought we were friends," There was a bite of exasperation in her voice as she looked around them, "I don't really want to talk about this here."

Dan tried to control the confusing mass of images in his head; all the memories from good to bad.

"I don't think they mind waiting you for another ten minutes." He ignored Serena's plea because knew he knew she would avoid the subject as long as possible.

"What do you want me to say Dan?"

"Why did you avoid me for such a long time and then suddenly you are acting like nothing happened?" He sighed under his breath, giving her a bold look, "If Jenny hadn't walked into our lives with Charlie we wouldn't even be talking."

Serena glanced away, narrowing her eyes as she thought. She paused, seeming to carefully weigh his words before she replied, "That's not true. I was not avoiding you- I was trying to be there for Blair. You know she had a rough few months."

"Why can't you just admit it to yourself? Is it really that bad to have feelings for me?" His tone sounded flat and his expression was awkward.

"I know it's complicated, but I can't just jump into this again when just a while ago I was with Nate." She surprised herself by the level of anguish in her voice, "I need time for myself. That's my point. I want to be your friend and since we are family I'm not going to let our personal issues affect our friendship, we are friends aren't we? "

"We are," Dan said softly and suppressed a smile, "I guess this just wasn't what I was expecting."

Her stomach tightened. She could feel the criticality of the sentence; his eyes had locked so intensely on her face that it made her want to change her answer, ""I—want to…I mean—I know….it's j-just…" she took a deep breath and released it slowly, "There are some things I'm…still trying to understand. Things I thought I knew, that I can't really understand about myself. And I'm scared—" The blonde cleared her throat, finding her voice again, "That I don't know how to do it right. That I'll mess it up and you end up hating me or something like that. And if that happened…if I hurt you…if you hated me…I'd feel like I ought to crawl in a hole and die because that's how much I need you in my life."

He met her eyes again, his gaze subdued yet laser-focused, torn between sympathy and a faint smile. Acceptance was more like it, "I'll wait if that's what you want."

Serena returned his gaze in silence. She hoped her gaze reflected the same back to him, "That's all I can ask. Let's just keep this simple until we are both ready to handle a serious relationship."


"I don't like this."

"Jenny, it's quiet. Just enjoy it while it lasts. For once nobody is yelling or crying in this household."

"I know it's quiet, that is exactly why I don't like it. I know that they are probably using this time to discuss everything written in the contract yadda yadda yadda, but what could take this long? I mean Chuck wouldn't let his lawyer take this much time to explain every little detail if he himself didn't ask for it and why would he ask for that? He just told me that he was happy to move on with his life without Charlie."

Rufus groaned. Jenny had been getting more and more restless as time went on and now she was starting to make him restless. She just kept staring at the office door and wondered what was going on in there. The fact that Chuck had asked Lily and her lawyer to join him there with his lawyer gave her even more reason to be worried. She and Rufus were stuck in the living room waiting for this to unfold.

"Why would he ask Lily to be there if it was just about the papers?" She deadpanned while keeping a watchful eye on the baby monitor because she knew her son could wake up any minute from his nap.

"I don't know- moral support?" Rufus forced a hopeful answer.

"Since when did Chuck actually have feelings that required moral support?" Jenny muttered.

She was rewarded with a scathing look from her dad.

"Jenny, you're starting to get obsessive about this. It simply takes time for them to go through everything and Lily knows this stuff the best so let them handle it, just let it go for your own good. You'll drive yourself crazy." There was a note of sympathy in Rufus's voice, but she couldn't let her stubborn head stop from stressing.

"I guess you're right," She said quietly, frowning again, "I'm just nervous because seems like every time we move forward something comes up and we are back at square one."

"That's what happens when you start making babies with someone who is a narcissistic scumbag like Chuck." His eyes held the tiniest flicker of amusement which was odd because deep inside his heart was torn for her and it was a miracle that he still had his sense of humor.

"Be sure to remind me the next time." Jenny snorted lightly at the subject.

Rufus snapped his eyes at her, "You better make sure there isn't going to be a next time."

She laughed aloud, "Don't worry dad I'm not going to be doing that with anybody in a long time. Once was traumatizing enough."

He sighed and leaned back, spreading his arms along the back of the sofa, "Well next time you know exactly what will happen if you aren't careful," he answered hurriedly, trying to get off the subject, "You two should have made sure to use a-"

"I get the point!" Jenny stopped him before he went into detail, embarrassed she squeaked, "We all know what happened- I don't need a recap from my own dad okay?"

The man took a deep breath and looked at his daughter, "Yeah, Yeah, I know... believe me nothing is more uncomfortable than talking about sex to your kids, but in future please be…safe." He shifted uncomfortably, quickly changing the subject, "As for now I'm good with one grandchild."

She smiled self-consciously, " I've learned from my mistakes… I really have, but right now a social life is not my priority. I'd rather dedicate my time to Charlie and I don't mind it at all. I don't even want to be thinking about dating and useless relationships which in the end will never bring me the joy or happiness that he brings."

The aching feeling of loneliness she had carried was gone. Jenny had never in her life felt so complete. There was actually someone who needed her and loved her unconditionally- it made her feel so overwhelmingly secure about everything. That missing piece from her life had always been Charlie. He lifted her spirits, gave her a reason to keep her head held high and to keep moving forward during these hard times.

"What about friends?" Rufus questioned curiously.

"Friends?" Jenny said laughingly. She hadn't thought about making any friends in Hudson really. Back then she was too busy worrying about how to hide her baby bump and getting through life in general. Now- with all of this mess; idea of even having a friend outside her family seemed distant, "I have Eric… and you guys don't I?"

"Of course you do, but even I get bored with the same faces so I can only imagine how a teenager would feel. Charlie is still so small and in Hudson your mom is always working. It's hard to interact with a baby who doesn't know how to answer yet. Sweetheart I don't want you to isolate yourself from the world," He looked at her pleadingly, willing her to be patient and listen to him, "You're a great mother Jenny, but remember to take care of yourself. By taking care, I mean talk to people and don't lock yourself inside four walls because that will make you bitter and sad."

Jenny's heart swelled at the memories that her dads words evoked. It seemed like forever ago when she had even talked and shared her real feelings to someone who was not Charlie.

At the same time the office door near the living room opened and she got up, guns fully loaded so to speak. Jenny paced the length of their living room, trying to remain calm. She hated that she was normally able to control her feelings and now, now she felt completely irrational. She hated to feel this insecure. The blonde was still bothered by how she had allowed herself to be drawn into this web just because they all had represented something bigger and better. Jenny still could not get over that she had even come back to Upper East Side. She fretted over what she would say when they came in.

"We didn't mean to keep you waiting." Chuck's lawyer said, apologetic.

Rufus was already gulping slightly at the look on Lily's face. She looked so disconnected from the world that it looked like someone was piling layers of bricks on her chest. The discomfort etched on her features was so raw- at that moment he knew whatever they were discussing back there had made her so upset that she couldn't even hide it.

Chuck on the other hand tried to stifle the semi-victorious smile that came to his face.

"Let's get this done then." Nervousness coiled in her stomach, as Jenny said firmly. The way everybody's body language changed in a split second was just confirmation that everything was going to spiral out of control.

She looked at him, shaking her head back and forth, the pictures of the puzzle all starting to come together, "I'm not going to wait another second longer, sign the papers now!" Her voice was hard yet her heart pounded erratically at the same time.

"We won't be signing any papers today." Chuck looked at her with anticipation for her reaction.

Jenny cleared her throat, composing herself, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hey hold on a minute," Rufus spoke foolishly, his own tone firm and accusing, "What the hell is going on!"

"I've changed my mind that's what." He spat out.


Blair spotted him with Serena across the room and knew what he was thinking. He was holding her hands and smiled at her like she was the only girl in the room. She wanted to slap the smile off, badly.

"I guess they are back on." Nate looked at her before sipping his champagne. He didn't seem to be bothered by it like she was. Blair was so fed up with watching lonely boy from Brooklyn steal her best friend's heart again. She rather had seen her with Nate- at least that way they could eliminate the certain family out of their lives for a while like back in the day. The cruel fact that Chuck shared his offspring with Jenny and Serena shared her love with Dan was pure madness.

"Serena knows better than to run back into his arms. Just because he puts on decent outfit and says a few nice things doesn't mean that she would want to go back into that again."

Nate looked at her, confused, "I think we both know they were never really over each other so why resent that? Besides aren't you the one who has been pushing her out of your home when she has been avoiding him. You are basically pushing her into his arms."

"Really? You think I actually approve of them together?" She lifted an eyebrow in disbelief, "I never wanted Serena to be with Humphrey okay? But there is nothing more tiring than listening to S talk about S. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I'd rather gain ten pounds than let my best friends last name be Humphrey one day."

He shrugged, "I really don't see the problem."

"Of course you don't. You have a soft spot for his sister."

"And you seem to be having a hard time not to think about her."

She waved her hand dismissively, "I'm not sure what you are referring to, but if I was you I would not go there."

"Oh drop the act Blair,"Nate made a face and groaned softly, "I know you. For the last few hours you have been dropping Jenny into our conversations when we could not be even talking about her or Chuck. Clearly it's on your mind and I admit- it's on my mind too, but at least I'm real enough to talk about it and not hide it."

Blair looked like she had been shot and her voice came out constricted, "Unlike you maybe I'm not ready to talk about it and this is my way of handling everything."

Wishing he could retract the venomous words that had just spewed, he looked like a lost puppy, "I didn't mean to… I mean I know you are not doing it on purpose, but maybe you should face the problem itself before it's too late. I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but you should really go and see him."

"You mean Chuck?" She looked deeply at her close friend.

"Yeah. You could go there and curse him out for good. Tell him how you feel about this mess. It really could help you to let go and move on. I mean you can't let what happened with Chuck make you give up on the possibility of finding a real relationship. Chuck was a ... complete mess and still is, but he's not the only one for you. He's like the ugly exception that happened. There are like thousands, no millions, of guys who aren't anything like him."

"I know that." Blair insisted.

"Do you?" He smiled and drank the rest of his champagne, "Plus I'm getting bored of acting like Serena and Chuck in the same package."

"If you were Serena and Chuck in the same package we would not be hanging out," Her eyes flashed with something he couldn't quite read before she smiled, "Nobody could handle that much in a same person."

Nate laughed, "Seriously though- we need to get our friends back. What the hell happened? When did everyone turn so psychotic?"

"Nathaniel, hate to break it to you, but we were always this way."


She had to sit down for everything to sink in. Her mind and body was completely numb like she was drowning from the inside. This would be the part in soap operas where someone literally drowns in her tears. She brushed the tears from her face that were falling fast and silently. No matter how hard she tried, she could not stop them from falling. She thought she had drained her tear ducts completely, but oh how wrong she was.

Rufus tried to soothe her by rubbing her back and telling her it was going to be okay. Lily had knelt in front of her and tried to get her to raise her gaze from her lap. She also tried to make her understand everything that was happening, but really she didn't even comprehend half of her words. Only words she could understand were Chuck's.

He had changed his mind.

She clenched her fists, determinedly stopping her tears and trying to block out how upset she was, but it swarmed at her, making her stomach tighten. She tried to swallow when a lump formed in her throat, threatening to bring her crashing over the edge.

"Why?" Jenny snapped and finally dislodged herself from the sofa. Her eyes shot open, wide and blurry. She blinked away the haze and felt them spark. Shaking her head she stepped towards him. Rufus didn't like seeing her so unstable with her emotions so he stepped between them. Obviously she was a tiny girl and couldn't really hurt Chuck, but the last thing she needed was an assault record.

"Get out of my way!" She ordered coldly, but her dad didn't move. He just looked at her with his big compassionate eyes. At the moment she wanted to push every single person out of the room except Chuck and lock the door.

"Jenny don't stoop so low."

"Yeah listen to your dad. He is good with advice." Chuck rolled his eyes and she wanted to beat the sarcasm out of him.

"You're as bad as him!" Jenny protested, "You told me it would be okay!" She gritted and moved enough to the side so she could look at the devil incarnated itself, "And you! You could have for once done something decent by thinking about other people, but not Chuck! Never Chuck fucking Bass! You have to ruin everything- you have to be there to torture people - Because nobody else matters right? But you know what Chuck! Newsflash you don't matter to people either! That's why you are alone! Every single soul who has known you ends up damaged because you're like poison. Your mom, oh and your dad! Let's not forget about daddy! Bart probably went peacefully because he knew he wouldn't have to deal with a bastard son like you anymore!"

The room was eerily quiet after her last sentence. Lily was appalled by her choice of words. Never in her life had she heard anything so harsh and heartbreaking. She looked over at Chuck, anger and disgust registered on his face. He wasn't the type to let anything show when someone insulted him, but Lily could tell he was taken aback by her comment about Bart. Even both of the lawyers looked stupefied.

Rufus reached out to Jenny to stop her violent outburst, but she pushed him away, "Jenny that's enough."

She shoved away his warm embrace, his caring arms.

"No it's not enough!" She raged back at him, her resolve was crumbling, and she returned her gaze to Chuck, "You know what Blair told me the same day- She told me that I had nobody who loved me which was probably the truth at the time, but today… this moment I'm the only one who has someone and I'm going to make sure it stays that way for a long time."

"I hate rain on your parade, but as of this day my son's birth certificate will have my name!" He sneered, proud and blew out a harsh breath, "Oh and I just filed for joint custody."

Chuck had honestly wanted to strangle her just seconds ago. He'd wanted to shake her until she was helpless on the floor. No one had ever made him feel like that before in his life. But oh, how he had been overcome with the urge to just wrap his hands around her little neck when she had the audacity talk that was about his father the way she did.

Shaking her head, she pressed her finger tips to her lips, trying to hold back the wrenching sobs that were building up in her body again. She didn't have to strength to ask the questions needed to be asked so she was glad her dad did that for her.

"What does this mean legally? Could someone finally explain why the hell we weren't there when these changes were made!"

"Rufus, that's not Mr. Campbell's fault," Lily defended her lawyer friend and continued, "I didn't want Jenny to be there when the official drafts for new papers were made I tried to protect…"

Jenny shouted abruptly "DON'T! Please, please don't tell me that you are trying to protect me." Her voice rose shrilly. "You can't! It is not humanly possible when this is about my son. If you wanted to protect me you would have told me this instead of letting him drop this bomb in my lap."

Her voice came out in a strangled whisper, "Jenny you need to understand they recorded every word exchanged in that room. If this goes to court and you would have reacted this way in there- I don't want them to have any reason to doubt you."

"My hate for him doesn't change the fact that I love my child!" She looked helplessly at the baby monitor on the table and was thankful her little boy was still asleep.

"We know that Jennifer, but the system has it flaws when it comes to cases like these," Harrison Campbell explained, "Let's get these facts clear so that you all can adjust and think about what has been changed here."

Chuck's lawyer jumped into the conversation, "My client took a paternity test this morning which we all witnessed and we got the results," He handed copies of papers to Jenny and Rufus, "As you can see there is no question that this is his child."

"What a shocker." She rolled her mascara smeared eyes as she read the paper.

"Charles informed me that he didn't feel comfortable with not being able to be a part of his son's life after we received the results," The lawyer kept going, "He made the difficult decision to change his view on this and made it very clear that he wants to be there for Charlie as a parent."

"So you get a paper telling you that you're his dad and suddenly it hits you?" Jenny demanded after a beat, "Am I supposed to believe that?"

"Believe what you want." Chuck answered bluntly.

"That's all?" She stared at him wide-eyed, "You are saying you want to have joint custody, but you can't express any emotion about being sorry-"

"You're interrupting the man, let him speak." He cut her off, his voice as sharp and jagged as broken glass. He then looked back at his lawyer signaling to carry on.

"Err, yes, so we have filed to have my clients name in Charlie Daniel Humphrey's birth certificate and you as his mother can always object this change, but you need to get talk to your own lawyer about that to get the process going," He handed her and her father additional two papers, "My client will also from this day on demands joint legal custody. Meaning he wants in addition of physical custody to have a say in his records, such as educational records, health records, and other records. Both of you would have equal decision-making status. This generally entails that both of you must be involved for major decisions, but the day-to-day matters and issues are left to the parent who has physical custody of Charlie during that day."

"Just great…." She listened to every word what was told to her and every word he had said made everything sound worse, her eyes darted at Chuck, "I'm supposed to leave my son with someone who doesn't even know how to hold a baby! That's not fucked up at all!"

"You are absolutely right- Charles only has the will to be a parent and not the way. We would make sure he is educated by ordering him to take parenting classes and have all visitations supervised by you and a social worker." Mr. Campbell explained, "But of course this may not even go there if the judge doesn't see Charles fit to even be in his birth certificate."

Jenny plopped on the couch wearily.

Fear. Regret. Sadness. Nervousness. Anger.

So many emotions clouded her mind. Each emotion seemingly fought the other. Regret, however, appeared to dominate. She realized then that she had allowed this to happen no matter how this would be looked at.

Chuck told her she could leave. She didn't.

The doctor told her she could choose abortion. She didn't.

Her mother told her she needed to tell everybody and get everything legalized for Charlie's sake. She didn't.

She had always believed she could manage this, but right now her faith in herself was gone.

The cries of her baby boy wakened her from her thoughts. The small whimpers coming from the baby monitor get her up like they always do.

Just for Charlie. Do it for Charlie.

No matter how emotionally exhausted she was- it would never be an excuse not to take care of him.

"He needs me." She said, making sure everybody would catch that. He did need her and nobody could tell her otherwise.

As Jenny walked by him, he made sure she would know where they stood.

"I'll see you in court." Chuck drawled teasingly.


Soon as they leave their home Rufus sighed in frustration. He wanted to go after Chuck and make him pay for everything, but the last time didn't turn out too good so he let go of that idea.

Lily had walked into the kitchen to bury herself in cooking.

After the intense afternoon she needed some time for herself like anybody else in the situation.

Rufus didn't second guess his decision to go check on Jenny soon as it was possible so he made his way towards her bedroom and softly knocked the door. The silence scared him for a second, but worries in his mind faded when he opened the door.

"Okay stop that," Jenny grinned at the baby boy who was sitting in her lap on the floor, pulling her hair and everything he could get his hands on, "I said quit," she laughed, "I'm going to be mad soon…do you want mama to be mad…because I will- I'll be mad," she tried with mock firmness - Charlie giggling wildly at her. "I could say anything to you and you'd just giggle wouldn't you?" kissing all over his face, her silly voice making him giggle again.

"You two seem to just fine here." He said at the doorway before walking inside.

"I don't want him to know I'm upset," She struggled with the words, "He's seen me cry too much during this year. I don't want him to know I'm sad."

He nodded at the fact, unsure of what she wanted him to tell her.

Her eyes were wide and helpless as she looked up at him, "What if it really happens?"

Rufus swallowed then, hard. It was a question that he hadn't expected, catching him off guard and had him stuttering for a response because he didn't know what to answer.

He hated seeing her like that. He hated listening to her say the words that were too close to the truth, hated listening to her weary and broken voice. And most of all he hated the look in her eyes. It was anguish, it was pain. It was everything that he was feeling at that same moment.

"We will adapt- We can always make it work."

She hugged Charlie and kissed the top of his head, "I'm just not sure if I'm ready to make it work."


"We really should have told her you aren't planning to make this a long term situation," He kept scowling at him as they arrive The Empires lobby, "Charles it's not fair to pull something like this on the poor girl and the boy."

"She doesn't want me to be there forever, we have established that. A month or two will be nothing," Chuck murmured, "I'll play along and soon as I have enough money to make this work for me I'll say hasta la vista to the baby and the baby mama."

His lawyer shook his head. "Well, uh. . .I hope this works out for you, but don't give me the opportunity to tell you I told you so when you are attached to the child and can't let go."

Chuck laughed, "I'd like to see that happen."

The man scoffed at his naive thought process and waved goodbye before heading out.

"You'd like to see what happen?" Her sweet voice rang in his ears.

He turned around and saw her there as gorgeous as ever.

"Blair."


Wooohhh talk about a emotionally filled chapter... I'm all riled up myself gosh.

Answers for a few questions: I don't know yet about the pairings for sure.. I like to write it as it comes. BUT I'm pretty sure every pairing possibly will somehow be established here. I'm not closing out Dan/Blair, or neither Jenny/Chuck, but those two pairings need a LOT of ground work before it can turn into a romance fest... so Ill just keep you guys on your toes teehee! I think you can pick up on which direction I'm going as the chapters go on. Like for example deep hatred towards someone can turn into something else.. I mean lust and hate have a very thin line there. And no I'm not talking about love. LUST.

Yay almost 100 reviews ! Thanks tons peeps! :)