White Walls

Epilogue Part 2:

A Little Goes A Long Way

It slowly became more and more maddening. His ears would twitch and he'd grind his teeth at the sounds that bounced off the thick wooden walls, echoing like tip tip tip, all at different paces. He contributed to the sound himself as he typed away. His eyes burned from staring too long at the too bright screen, and his lips were dry.

Sasuke broke the stride of his fingers to let out an impressive yawn and for just a second the world went quiet. He sat back in his chair and stared up at the intricately designed cathedral styled ceiling.

He closed his eyes and shapes of purple and blue danced in his vision.

For the past few years that was a routine - the sitting, they typing, the sleep deprivation- and it was all leading up to something big, he was sure. What the hell happened? He wondered constantly what had happened to him that turned him around completely. If he were to go back in time and find himself five or six years earlier he would be looking at a completely different person, someone he didn't recognize.

Really, he knew what happened. He knew the medications had something to do with it, but there was more to it than that. He had something driving him to stay on the right track. At every milestone he looked back and analyzed every bit that lead up to it.

That boy was one thing that always came to mind. It always came back to that blonde boy he met at that hospital. Naruto? Was that his name? He remembers being rather infatuated with him, so much so that he made a promise to him that he would get better -stop being crazy- so they could find each other again and... Well, he didn't know what they thought they were going to do.

The memory seemed distant and had faded away more and more as time passed and more important things filled his mind, but he couldn't deny that Naruto was the reason his life had turned out the way it did, or at least contributed to his current circumstances.

After he left the hospital and finished his treatment at the next, he went home and started anew. He had his parents enroll him in an online school so the stress and confusion that came with traditional schooling didn't cause his brain to revert back to the mess that all the medication had cleared up. With all the extra time on his hands and the ability to finally focus he was able to test out of his courses one after the other and graduated two years early.

Not only were his parents impressed, but the district school board under which his school was held was through the roof with his achievements. So much so that they awarded him a full scholarship to any university.

Sasuke took that as his opportunity to flee. He filed for an emancipation from his parents immediately and headed across the country trying to put as much distance between himself and his family as possible. He felt like he had died and gone to heaven.

It was a big change and for a while he worried that his mind would crack and he'd be back to square one, but something he had forgotten about kept him going.

He studied Psychology, which was a surprise even to himself. His presentations and proposals for treatment plans and his field work studies impressed his professors, who recommended him to the treatment facility where seasoned doctors and professors worked and studied the most complex workings of the mind. Sasuke focused more on ways to help people who were struggling with depression and who had suffered sexual and physical abuse.

A year and half went by and he was issued and honorary degree in Psychology that would allow him to continue more in depth research and work with patients who were in need of more personalized treatments. Sasuke was becoming well known for his research and success with the people he helped.

None of that recognition came easy, however. Because of his age many people were hesitant to take anything he said seriously. Every time he wanted to do research, every time he got a new client, every time he wanted to tag along to observe field studies or experiments he had to submit reports explaining in great detail every aspect of who, what, when, where, why, and how.

It pissed him off to no end that even after blowing every other student out of the water his age alone still took away any credibility he may have had, but actually getting to help people find peace in their lives made it all worth it.

Sasuke's mind was just beginning to tumble into a numbing state of relaxation when he felt a pair of lips press against his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw a toothy grin hanging over him.

"Dosing off, huh?" The grin said.

Sasuke yawned ferociously and watched as the owner of that grin moved around to sit on the opposite side of the table.

"You do know this report of yours doesn't have to be submitted for another month, right?"

"Sui, please." Sasuke groaned. "Don't remind me of my impending death."

Suigetsu chuckled and lifted his backpack onto the table. He unzipped the front pocket and pulled out a vended package of mini oreos and a small bottle of Coke. "I figured you hadn't gotten up to eat anything, so I brought you fuel."

Sasuke smiled and grabbed the blue bag of cookies. "Aren't you just the sweetest."

Suigetsu was his - lover? Sex pal? Soul mate? - something. They met during Sasuke's first year at the University. Since he was youngster on the field of adulthood at the time the University, as they did with any mini prodigy that entered their campus, gave him a chaperone. Suigetsu wasn't that chaperone. His best friend Jugo, the bulky teddy bear of a man, was in charge of keeping Sasuke out of trouble.

Sasuke followed Jugo around like a child who couldn't be separated from their mother. It was pathetic, he thought, but he found comfort in the fact that there was at least one person who was obligated to be his friend.

Jugo never seemed to mind having an extra shadow, even after Sasuke had learned the ropes and could find his way around on his own. He liked kids and at the time Sasuke was just that, a child who was too smart for his own damn good. After he saw what the kid was capable of he made it his personal mission to make sure Sasuke made it as far as possible.

Truthfully, he was only hoping for the kid to graduate with honors, but instead he found himself being surpassed rather quickly. That certainly didn't stop him from getting on Sasuke's ass any time he slacked off.

He wasn't too demanding of him. Jugo understood the importance of taking a break and going out with friends, which was exactly how Sasuke met Suigetsu.

One night after the first big test that Sasuke nearly killed himself over, Jugo invited him out to run around the city and live for a while. Karin, Jugo's girlfriend, practically had a heart attack when she met Sasuke. She made it a point to squish his face to her chest and squeal at how cute he was every chance she got. She made quite an impression, but Suigetsu was the one who made his heart flip and split into a million different pieces.

Sasuke fell in love with how vibrant Suigetsu was, and how easy it was for him to find the best in bad situations. He was a ball of sunshine and snappy whit with the heart of an overprotective mother.

They hung out together every chance they got after their first meeting, and Jugo teased them both about it and was just waiting for them to announce an engagement.

Sasuke was the one to take the first step and ask Suigetsu on a date. He took him to a nice restaurant, walked around the park and looked at the stars, and they shared the most mind bending night of their lives together.

They had been together for almost four years but nothing was ever quite made it to the level of official. Suigetsu had expressed his reasons for keeping things simple - a bad relationship prior to the one he shared with Sasuke kept his walls up to any sort of commitment. It was still very clear that his feelings for Sasuke were bursting through every cell of his body every time he smiled.

There wasn't quite a name for what their relationship was, but there was love. Certainly something Sasuke didn't want to lose. He was sure that the boy from the hospital had something to do with how well he was doing, but a lot of his work, a lot of his sleepless nights, a lot of the stress and tears that went into his success were dedicated to Suigetsu. He wanted to be able to give him everything he wanted. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, more than anything that is all he wanted.

"What's this one for anyway?" Suigetsu asked, resting his chin in his hands.

"Um," He spoke through a mouth full of mushed cookie. "I want to try a group therapy session with the patients I work with. There are a couple of them that I think would really benefit from hearing what other people have to say about their own improvement, as well as their struggles. I think listening to other people talk, people that actually understand what they've gone through, would be better than just listening to me tell them what they should and shouldn't do."

"Hey," Suigetsu smiled and reached across the table to tap on Sasuke's fingers. "You don't just tell them what to do, you know. You guide them towards recovery. You've helped a good handful of people find peace with their past. That's amazing. Don't sell yourself so short."

Sasuke locked his fingers with Suigetsu's and rubbed his thumb along the side of his hand. His chest felt warm and a smile spread across his face. "I love you."

Suigetsu's dropped his head to the table and hid his face behind his free hand while tightening his grip on Sasuke's hand. "Why do you say that all the time?" He mumbled.

"Because it's true!" Sasuke sang. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"It's weird!"

"Why's it weird?"

Suigetsu slid his hand away from Sasuke's and sat up, staring down at the table. "I mean," He started. "There's billions of people in this world, right? What makes you think I'm worth loving?"

Sasuke sighed and closed his laptop. "What makes you think there's anyone in this world any more perfect than you?"

Suigetsu wanted to list off a million different reasons why he wasn't even close to being perfect, but the look on Sasuke's face, the way he looked at him made him believe he was in fact perfect. Without a doubt, he had found a great person to fall in love with, one who didn't hurt him, who just wanted to love him. Unfortunately, most days he didn't feel worthy of breathing, let alone being loved by one of the most amazing people he's ever met in his life.

His last relationship was a bust - some guy he started dating way back in high school. At one point he had been the only person in the world who wasn't just waiting for him to fuck up. Then suddenly, it seemed like all that man could see was a fuck up, and he treated Suigetsu as such. He treated him like garbage. That sick man tore him a part mentally, and physically. Up until he met Sasuke, Suigetsu was walking around feeling like an empty shell.

Sasuke had restored his faith in love and in life. Still, every now and again he would hear that man's words echoing in the back of his mind reminding him of how worthless and prone to failure he was, but two seconds next to Sasuke and his life turned to beauty and light.

"I love you too." He whispered back to Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled and popped another cookie in his mouth.

"So," He huffed. "are we doing anything this weekend that I should prepare for?"

Suigetsu shook his head. "I think you'll be on your own this weekend, babe. Jugo and Karin are going on some sort of cheesy couple's retreat for their anniversary."

"That's cute."

"Oh, very cute. And I'm going on a little trip with the art department. Wont be back until Tuesday at least."

Sasuke slouched in his chair with a pout. "I guess I am on my own."

"Maybe you should take a trip?" Suigetsu suggested.

"A trip?"

"Mhm. Maybe you could go visit your family."

Sasuke stared blankly. "Pardon?"

"Your family!" Suigetsu laughed. "You need to go see them at some point, right? How long's it been?"

"Two years."

"Sasuke, that's insane! That is absolutely insane! I find it insane that you haven't seen your family in two years."

Sasuke scoffed. "I talk to them on the phone all the time."

"No, you talk to your brother every four or five months, and you're never the one who calls." He smiled. "Come on, it's a good idea. I don't want you to be here all alone and I definitely don't want you stressing out over this report when I'm not here to relieve you of said stress. " He winked.

"I don't know..."

"I know you've had family problems, but things are different now. You're not some helpless teenager who's stuck there. You're a man! An amazing, wonderful, successful, incredibly fucking sexy man who deserves everything this beautiful world of ours has to offer, and that includes a normal relationship with your family."

Sasuke thought about it for a second then reluctantly shrugged. "Fine, I'll see what they're doing for the weekend, but I'm not making any promises."

"I think it'll be good for you."

Half an hour passed before Suigetsu had to leave the library to attend his last class, and Sasuke had to return to world of tip tip tip and the blinding light of his laptop screen.

He became distracted quickly and his speedy rhythm of typing fell and stuttered. Sasuke wasn't sure if he really wanted to go see his parents. He went through his usual reasons, such as the taking a plane was annoying, he had work to do here, he didn't want to inconvenience them, blah blah blah.

It was all bullshit, of course.

He was just scared.

Things had become awkward for the most part between him and his family. The fact that he just up and left, and acted like he had forgotten about their existence was pathetic. He had gone and seen them only once, or better yet, they tracked him down to make sure he wasn't dead. Then they met once more two years prior to Sasuke's current standing and that was a bit of a shitstorm as it was when his parents took the opportunity to inform Sasuke that not only had his brother been sent to rehab for a marijuana addiction - something Sasuke rolled his eyes at more than once - , but they were also having a baby.

Sasuke still had a bit of a guilty conscience about not having even attempted a relationship with that baby. Well, he's not a baby anymore, Sasuke thought. He felt bad that he was leaving a little innocent dumpling to fend for himself with an over protective mother, an abrasive father, and a shit head older brother.

If he were to ever pray, he'd pray for his baby brother.

Sasuke leaned down from the table and picked his bag up off the floor. He dug around in the cluttered sack for his phone. A part of him sighed with relief when he saw that the battery was only at 2%. That most certainly wasn't enough battery life to have a decent conversation with his mom or dad, and absolutely gave him no time to make plans!

He puttered through his lips and tossed his phone back into the mess of paper. At least he tried.

Again, Sasuke attempted to go back to his work. His train of thought had withered away and all of 15,000 words that he had punched out within four hours seemed like gibberish and he decided his fingers would snap off if he didn't let them rest for a while. Suigetsu was right, he had month before the report was due to his supervisors. He had other classes to worry about still, and he needed to give himself a break before he imploded.

He chewed his lip as his mind raced to a strange place.

On a sudden impulse he closed out of his document and opened his web browser, then logged on to Facebook. He hadn't used that cesspool of a website for years, but he wanted to check something, and he wasn't sure why.

His eyes flew around the screen as he saw random updates from people he had long forgotten back home. Many of the people he was friends with were posting pictures of wild nights out, updates on their cram sessions, and a few were posting whole albums of their too soon new families. That wasn't what he wanted to see, though.

Steadily he led the cursor to the search box and typed in a name that seemed barely alive in his mind. Sasuke had no idea what made him think of it, or why he felt the need to check. Maybe that slight sliver of memory that had crept its way into the back of his mind had grown into something a bit more invasive.

He clicked to search and waited for the page to load.

Sure enough only one profile showed up.

A chill went up his spine as he stared into the pixelated blue eyes of Naruto Uzumaki. His face was familiar, but the picture shown was that of someone at least twelve years old. Sasuke started to remember bits and pieces

Naruto was quiet, he remembered, and sad all the time. He was just a sad person. He realized that most when he found that boy in his room ready to tear open his arms with broken plasticware. He heard voices too, right?

For some reason the time he spent in that hospital specifically was as fuzzy as a cotton ball. Faces were smudges in his mind, and any interaction he had with anyone there seemed like a dream. The only thing that was clear as day in the back of his mind was Naruto's face and the horrifyingly white walls that surrounded them both on a daily basis.

He was bored and tired. Picking around his own past was nothing to dwell on too much.

Sasuke clicked on the profile link and the page flashed to a new one.

There wasn't much of anything that could be considered interesting. Apparently he hadn't updated anything or even tried to make his profile personal. No status updates, no photos. Just a few automatic posts from a few games that were popular a few years back.

Naruto had a few friends, one of which was his mother.

Without a doubt Sasuke had thought he lost his mind when he clicked on this old friend's mother's profile, and he thought he was completely insane when he went searching for her phone number which was luckily made available to the public.

Stupid, he thought. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he stared at the screen. The idea he was hatching was unforgivably stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Absolutely insane.

It took him about five minutes to convince the more rational side - the side that said calling Naruto's mother out of the blue to track down her son for no good reason was idiotic - that it was a good idea.

They had made a promise to each other. It was a loose promise with no real foundation to it other than an odd infatuation, but it was a promise nonetheless and he was curious to see if Naruto had kept up his end of the deal, or even remembered who Sasuke was for that matter.

Would that be weird? Yes.

But they made a promise.

Even if it was something both of them had put into the category of unforgettable, it would still be a funny thing to look back on over the phone, or through e-mail, or text. They could talk about their time in the hospital, maybe Naruto could remind him of a few things that had disappeared from his memory. They could talk about how they were doing with their own therapy and medication, and life in general.

Sasuke didn't get a chance that often to talk to someone who understood what he was going through in times when it became tough to take another pill or find a new therapist when the last one started talking out of their ass. He certainly couldn't talk about his personal feelings with his patients, and he did his best to hide the details of his bipolar disorder from everyone, especially Suigetsu.

The more he thought about it, the more it grew on him. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to talk to Naruto again.

Sasuke laughed at himself while he picked his bag up again and grabbed his phone.

The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous.

But he proceeded.

Before he knew it the phone was ringing and his stomach had tied itself in a bundle of knots. His call was answered too fast for him to find any sense and the air that passed through his throat caught.

"Hello." A cheerful voice came from the other end.

"Uh, um" Sasuke scrambled to sit up straight and run his hand through his hair like he had someone to impress. "Hi, is this Kushina Uzumaki?"

"It is. May I ask who's calling?"

"Oh, uh, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. I..." He paused. He was not going to tell her that he had been in the hospital with Naruto. Who the hell would be okay with some nut from a looney bin tracking down their child? "I went to school with your son, Naruto. I was actually looking to get in touch with him. You know, to catch up."

"Well, I'm sorry, Sasuke, but Naruto doesn't live here anymore. He moved to the city a while ago, but if you'd like to give me your number I can pass it along and I'm sure he'll get in touch with you as soon as he can."

"Yeah, that sounds great."

Sasuke gave his number to the mother of someone who should be considered a stranger. He sat there in the library a while longer wondering what sort of horrible, evil, mind altering drug Suigetsu had slipped into his cookies that would make him do something so stupid. He regretted his decision as soon as he hung up his phone and the knots in his stomach tightened into an unbearable ball of doubt. Nothing bad had happened, the earth was still spinning, the skies were still without raining flames, everything was fine, but something was off.

His phone chimed as the battery ran out and the screen went black.

He had a bad feeling about this.

Author's Note:

Hello again! Hope this little installment wasn't too boring, things will heat up in the next/final part. Also, I'm working on rewriting this entire story. I'm certainly not changing anything, just cleaning things up a bit and getting rid of that god awful first person nonsense. I'd like to have all the chapters rewritten by and reposted the same day as the final part of the epilogue, so it might be a while before the next chapter comes along. I'll be working hard to get them done before the end of the year. I'm aiming more for mid December, but striving for the end of November. Anyway, thank you for being patient and reading my fics even though the earlier writings are cringe worthy and the current work is absolute malarkey. -KJ