"Al..."

"Hey, Mattie, what's going..."

"You can't invade me, Al."

"I don't know what you mean, you're being paranoid."

"Look at today's paper."

Canada paused, and waited for the shuffling of papers and enraged swearing to die down.

"I won't let you do this."

"Like I'm going to let you help Arthur try to..."

"Arthur? What on Earth does...? Al, you can't seriously be thinking that he and I..."

"Fucking colony."

"I'm a Commonwealth."

"Close enough."

"Well, maybe I'll just invade you first. How about that?"

"Like you..."

"I can definitely hold you down long enough for Arthur's war ships to get here."

"I knew it!"

"No, Al...!"

"You guys were planning this all along! I knew he was trying to get me back in, but I thought..."

"Alfred, calm down. You're being paranoid."

"No, I'm not! You guys want me back in the Empire. It's going all Nazi now, too..."

"Wait a minute! That guy stepped down already."

"What? He did?"

"Why do you have newspapers if you aren't going to bother to read them..."

Canada waited until more shuffling stopped.

"Oh, nice. He's gone, huh?"

"Completely. So, you can call this off?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. We're good?"

"... Yeah, we're good."

Canada rubbed his eyes as he hung up. He'd keep the army on standby just in case.