Sometimes – most notably when his boss asked the impossible of him and put it on a two-hour deadline – Tim McGee wished he had a normal job, working IT for some big industry, where people believed him when he said the repair would take all afternoon because they rarely questioned the geeks. Other times – most times, really – when he was chasing an exciting lead, tracking down and catching the bad guys, Tim couldn't imagine working any place else. At the moment, he was undecided.
Tim was attempting to, in the words of Leroy Jethro Gibbs, "make the internet do something useful and find this guy," and considering "this guy" was a person of interest in their team's murder investigation, it was a good plan. Unfortunately, Gibbs sometimes wanted the internet to do things it couldn't, and Tim was left refreshing the college student's Facebook page, hoping he would announce where he was, as in several previous postings. They were pretty sure he was on campus, since they had his class schedule, but if he wasn't online, Tim wasn't going to be able to track him. Abby was in her lab, cruising chat rooms gleaned from the guy's internet history on the laptop found at the crime scene, but she'd been coming up dry for hours.
Fortune was on Tim's side, however, when he hit F5 and the newly refreshed screen provided an update on one Kyle Barnett's Facebook page. "Chatting with a hottie!" Seconds later, the phone at Tim's desk rang. He snatched it up. "Hello?"
Abby was cheerful as ever. "Abby Scioto, miracle worker speaking, how may I direct your call?"
Tim declined to point out that she'd called him. "Please tell me you're the hottie Barnett is chatting with."
"I am, thank you. I'll keep him talking; you get up here and track down his IP address."
"Perfect." Tim was on his feet before he finished hanging up the phone. He ran down to Abby's lab, sliding into his usual chair in front of one of the many computers. A few clicks pulled up the tracking software and he was on the trail. From his chair, he could still see Abby's computer screen, and he glanced over. "How does he know you're hot? Who did you send him a picture of?" He knew Abby would never send her own in a situation like this.
Abby grinned. "I could choose to take that as an insult, McGee."
Tim's fingers flew across the keyboard as he began to verbally backtrack. "Oh, no, I didn't mean that you're not hot. I just meant you wouldn't-"
"Relax, McGee." Abby took a hand away from the keyboard long enough to wave a hand at him. "I know what you meant. And he has assumed I'm hot because he thinks I'm six feet tall and blonde."
Tim chuckled. "Not my type, but I can see how that would be attractive."
"Oh, right, like you'd kick a six foot tall blonde out of bed," Abby argued.
Tim had managed to lock on to the IP address of Abby's chat partner, which NCIS' software confirmed belonged to the college. Now it was time to zero in on where Barnett was located on campus. "I don't think I could force a six-foot tall woman to do much of anything."
Abby opened her mouth as if to respond, but then glanced at her screen and scoffed. "Oh, please! And on a public computer, too."
Tim took a look at her screen, seeing Barnett's last message as "ladyhunter44" - "tits or gtfo." "Geez."
Abby smiled at Tim helpfully. "It means he wants a picture of my-"
"I know what it means," Tim interrupted. "What are you going to do?"
Abby opened a folder on her desktop, then called up a picture of a cat wearing a bikini, with a different bikini top for each of its pairs of nipples. "Send him this."
Tim's computer beeped, flashing a location on the screen. He whipped out his cell phone, dialing Gibbs. As soon as Gibbs picked up, Tim told him, "Boss, we've got Barnett. He's in the CG building in the center of campus. The library's on the third floor, probably there. Abby's chatting him up, and he's asking for dirty pictures, so he might look suspicious."
"He's what?" Gibbs demanded.
"Don't worry, she sent him a picture of a cat."
"What does-you know what, never mind. Good work." As usual, Gibbs hung up and Tim was free to catch up on Abby's chat. Barnett had responded to the cat picture with "LOL, now send them for real." Abby had responded that she was on a public computer and couldn't and Barnett had said he was too but nobody around cared. He then proceeded to ask her bra size.
"What a sleaze," Tim muttered.
"Isn't he, though?" Abby asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm thinking double D's. Might as well give him a thrill before Gibbs and Tony catch up with him." Before Abby had typed her response, however, Barnett sent, "got2go" and the private chat disconnected, dropping Abby back into the "Hot 4 U" chat room she had found Barnett in. "Looks like they found him."
"I hope he runs," Tim said. Gibbs always got his man, and if he had to run, he slammed them to the ground that much harder.
Abby slapped Tim's shoulder playfully. "You're mean."
"I would never ask a woman her bra size," Tim insisted.
"Not even me?" Abby asked.
"Especially not you." They might not have been dating anymore, but Abby would always be special to Tim.
"Aww." Abby hugged him, then pulled back, asking, "Is that because you already know?"
"No!" Tim knew she was playing with him, but he felt the need to make his point anyway. "I mean, yes, I've seen – I mean, I know, but I would never ask. It's just not right."
"Unless you're buying her lingerie," Abby pointed out.
"Fine, yes," Tim allowed. "I suppose under those circumstances, it would be acceptable." His cell phone rang before Abby could respond, and he looked at the caller ID. Anthony DiNozzo. Tim picked up. "Yeah, Tony?"
"We got him," Tony reported. "We're on our way back. Boss wants you to double-check Barnett's laptop and see if there are any references to the victim we missed the first time."
"Okay," Tim said. He was about to ask if there was anything else, but he couldn't resist asking, "Did he run?"
"Oh, yeah." Tony sounded a bit too gleeful about it, but Tim couldn't begrudge him that. Sometimes karma did come around. Tim was definitely going to have to hang out in the observation room for this interrogation if he wasn't needed elsewhere.
Nobody disrespected Abby on Tim's watch and got away with it.