BBS woke up this morning with a stroke of angsty inspiration! (Yay..?) But yeah—that's pretty much the only cause of this. That, and a beautiful song my friend had me listen to.
It's called, "What are Words" by Chris Medina.
It's a heartfelt song that touched my heart and thus, inspired me to write about such devotion and passion. I highly suggest listening to it while reading. It's truly a beautiful thing to hear.
BEFORE YOU READ:
Normal writing = Current time
Italicized = Lyrics, Translation, or Flashback (I'm sure you'll be able to tell the difference)
000
"Where are you taking him? As his…as his friend, I have a right to—"
"Under the orders from the Vatican, Allen Walker is to be confined and examin—
"So he's going to the Vatican, then? What logical use would it be to transport an injured exorcist, one that has served us well since he arrived—
"Orders are orders, Bookman Jr. You and I are both aware of that."
"—he's clearly in no condition to be moved from location to location, all the way to Italy on account of proposed claims that have not yet been proven to be tr—
"LAVI! You will stay put and stop this nonsense! You are not speaking any logic yourself nor are you helping Mr. Walker's position. Allen Walker will not be transported to the Vatican; that is merely the location from where orders have been issued."
"Allen, Allen you have to open your eyes, Allen!"
"Someone restrain him! What in the world has gotten into you, Lavi?"
"ALLEN! ALLEN, PLEASE. PLEASE, ALLEN."
"Escort Bookman Junior back to his quarters and see to it that he remains there for the remainder of this operation."
"Allen…Allen, they're not telling me where you're going but I promise…I'll—I'll find you. I'll bring you back here and we can be happy…We can be happy, Allen. I promise that they won't bother you anymore, I won't let them hurt you and test you like you're some animal, because I love—let go of me! This is unlawful in accordance to regulations placed by the Black Order—let go! ALLEN!"
000
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
000
Lavi clenched his teeth as he pounded on his door again and again. They had taken his hammer and bolted the door.
His hands were bruised and bleeding from multiple splinters.
He fell to his knees—broken and sobbing like a Bookman should never have done. Every waking moment of his life narrowed down to that face…
That pale face with eyes like silver and lashes like snow.
With a smile and a blush that could illuminate and warm a cold winter's night .
Allen…
An anguished roar tore through Lavi's throat as he pounded his fist against the door again.
000
"Lavi…don't you get lonely sitting out here all the time?"
"No, I have my thoughts here with me." He laughed to ensure that Allen wouldn't doubt his words.
"That must be torturous."
"It's really not…I just need some time to sort things out on my own, so I come out here."
"Just you?"
"Just me."
"Could I…could I sit out here with you too?"
"I'm not much of a talker when I'm up here. You'll get lonely."
"No, I'll have my thoughts with me."
Lavi turned to Allen with a look of surprise at having his words used against him, but it quickly melted into a smile when he saw the sparks of triumph and mischief linger in Allen's eyes.
Those beautiful eyes…
"That must be torturous." Lavi retorted with a whimsical grin.
"It's really not…I just need some time to think things over—sort things out, if you will. So I'll come out here with you."
"Just us?"
"Just us."
000
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
What kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most?
000
"It's Allen Walker, isn't it?"
Lavi paused. He wasn't surprised that his old panda already knew. The man was observant to the point of near insanity.
"…I have to find him."
"You are not thinking in logical succession, Deak."
Lavi's jaw tightened at his name. It served only as a reminder that everyone that loved him at the Order only loved the role he played…
Everyone.
"You will lose your status as Bookman. You will be banned from the Order and your weapons will be confiscated. You will be an outcast for the remainder of your life. Does that truly sound like an equal trade for only the possibility of finding one person?"
"Yes."
000
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them?
000
"Yeah, I coulda swore I seena succession o' people go up that hill down yonder. They were wearin' some funny lookin' robes and—
"Thank you, sir."
It was already night and freezing as always when the redhead calmly pulled his black hood over his head. He had traded his exorcist's uniform for simple black pants and a peasant's shirt. He had still managed to keep his boots and hammer—thanks to one teary Lenalee when he left the Order.
He had only left because the only thing worth staying there for had left far before his time…
000
"They can't do that to you, Allen."
"…if it's for the safety and security of everyone here…I'm willing to go, Lavi."
"Can you stop being such a goddamn martyr for one second? Listen to me, Allen! You—you can't just leave me, you can't just leave us here."
"I don't want to be the cause of all of your deaths! I'm not a martyr, Lavi. Can't you see? I'm a monster! I'm a time bomb waiting to explode! I'm not going to stay here and watch myself murder you with my own hands!"
"You're not a monster! Don't fucking call yourself that!"
"Then what do I call myself, Lavi? A Noah? A Traitor? What does that make me, Lavi?"
"It makes you my friend!"
The two stood, looking into each other's eyes and wondering what lay between the words they had just spoken.
000
What are words
If they're only for good times?
000
"Ah, signor Lavi! Come è Bookman? E 'così bello vederti!"
Ah, Mr. Lavi! How is Bookman? It's wonderful to see you!
"Bello vedere anche voi, signor Rossi. Mi chiedevo se aveste visto la sorte di quel ragazzo che ho portato a vedere voi con i capelli bianchi."
Nice seeing you too, Mr. Rossi. I was wondering if you had seen the whereabouts of that one boy I brought to see you with the white hair.
"E 'divertente che si chiede perché avrei giurato di vedere un congregazione di esorcisti in movimento verso il fiume dalla parte opposta della città. E 'il modo più veloce per raggiungere la Svizzera."
It's funny that you ask that, because I could have sworn seeing a congregation of exorcists moving toward the river on the other side of town. It's the fastest way to reach Switzerland.
"Grazie ancora, signor Rossi. I'll essere sicuri di visitare di nuovo quando posso, ma ora devo lasciare."
Thank you again, Mr. Rossi. I'll be sure to visit again when I can, but now I must leave.
"Ah, non poteva rimanere una notte o due? Ho un paio di camere aperto se volete rimanere e riposo."
Ah, couldn't you stay a night or two? I have a few rooms open if you'd like to stay and rest.
"Mi scuso, io sono un po 'di fretta. Ma grazie per la vostra gentilezza. Buona notte."
I apologize; I'm in a bit of a hurry. But thank you for your kindness. Good night.
The sun had begun to set behind the lush rolling hills of Northern Italy as a tall man with the boots of an exorcist procured a small hammer from his pocket.
"Extend."
000
"Merry Christmas, Lavi."
"Happy Birthday, Allen."
They were perched on the tower that they had agreed to share so long ago—to think things through and sort things out.
The view was breathtaking—the village was covered with a blanket of white snow and many houses were illuminated by gas lamps and candlelight.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Lavi breathed.
"Yes…the village looks like it's glowing."
"I wasn't talking about the village."
000
When it's love
You say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
000
Lavi staggered to the river where he collapsed onto his knees and began frantically scooping water into his hands, drinking the cool water. He splashed some onto his face and let out a heavy sigh. He had been travelling for days without food or water…only the hope of finding Allen.
His muscles ached for rest but he knew that Allen wouldn't wait in one spot until he awoke. Every minute spent idle was a minute of Allen becoming farther and farther away from his reach.
He had to push on.
000
Blood splattered onto the concrete, the redhead's cheek stained with a hue of the same shade as he fell to the floor. The roar of innocence and the screech of metal scraping against metal was all he heard as his eyesight began to fade.
"LAVI!"
From his view on the ground, he could see him.
Him…
Angry tears threatened to fall from those amazing silver eyes as he swung his sword into an approaching akuma—causing an explosion wherever he fought.
He was so strong despite being someone who appeared to be so fragile…
He was so fierce despite being someone who smiled with the light of an angel.
He was so young despite being one of the Order's top suspects of treachery.
"Lavi, open your eyes. Please, you have to…you have to, Lavi. Please, Lavi, please."
000
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
000
Blood splattered onto the frozen ice as the redhead began to cough violently. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep his ribcage from bruising from the stress as he continued to hack up steaming blood from his lips.
It melted the snow around it.
His teeth were stained with it and his cheeks had small traces of it, but Lavi simply wetted his cloak with snow and wiped it all from his face.
And continued on.
000
Being the first one to fall unconscious from multiple injuries, Lavi was the first to wake.
Allen had been the last to fall unconscious—after ensuring that everyone else had reached the Order safely.
Now he lay in a gurney in a quiet white room.
Snow was falling, even in mid-April. The only source of color in the room was Lavi's hair, which fell messily over his face and eyes. He was still dressed in his pajamas and had one arm in a sling. He was supposed to be in his own gurney—but he couldn't bear not knowing if Allen was safe.
When he'd entered, he immediately rushed to Allen's side, in awe of how calm his face was. He was completely broken from all the injuries he'd withstood.
His arms were in bandages, his chest was wound tight with heavier bandages—both his legs were in casts, and his beautiful, beautiful face was marred with new scars, cuts, and bruises.
But he was still the most exquisite thing to ever meet Lavi's eyes.
000
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside him tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when he needs me most
000
When he woke up, Lavi snapped up in a warm bed. He was in a foreign room with only a small hint of a whisper slithering from behind the door.
His chest was in bandages and his clothes were by the bedside—washed and dried of the blood and dirty snow.
He hissed, clutching his head and immediately regretting sitting up so quickly.
"I told you not to move." A feminine voice came from the door. It had a French lilt to it. Was he in France already?
"Am I in France?"
"Oui."
Lavi felt relief course through his veins as he bolted from his bed and desperately clutched the arms of a girl with blond hair and blue eyes.
"Have you seen any exorcists around here as of late? I'm in a rush; I really need to be finding someone. Please, have you seen anything?"
"Oh hush up. The only exorcist I've seen lately is you. Now get back into bed."
"No, you don't understand—this is more important to me than you'll ever—
"Rest is more important. Now get back into bed!"
"S'il vous plaît madame, je serais très reconnaissante si vous pouviez me dire tout ce que vous avez vu ces dernières semaines. Je serai sur mon chemin en peu de temps et de vos cheveux, maintenant si vous voulez s'il vous plaît—
Please my lady, I would be so grateful if you could just tell me anything you've seen these past few weeks. I'll be on my way in no time and out of your hair, now if you'd please—
"Sweet talking isn't going to get you anywhere. Bed, maintenant!"
After moments of pleading, Lavi was already feeling exhausted and was eventually forced back into bed to rest.
000
"As a member of the Black Order and a Bookman in training, I trust that you will report any suspicious activity of one Allen Walker if a problem were ever to arise, understood?"
A, "yes" was hissed through clenched teeth.
000
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them?
000
Lavi woke up in a cold sweat only to find that he was still in a foreign room in a foreign town in France. Those smiling grey eyes haunted him even in his sleep. The thought of never seeing them again was too much to bear.
The girl turned out to have known quite a few things about the Order. She had in fact, revealed to him that there were rumors of a traitor being transported all across Europe before settling in an isolated town in Eastern Estonia.
There were rumors of a maximum security mansion and the silver-eyed traitor in chains, mindlessly following its captors.
Silently, the redhead stood from his bed and peeked out a nearby window. He was two stories above the ground. It wouldn't be that far of a fall…
000
What are words
If they're only for good times?
000
"HEY! COME BACK! YOU'RE GOING TO BE HURT."
The scream of a feminine voice with a French lilt echoed through the morning chill—falling upon deaf ears as Lavi continued to run, run, run…
The only thing on his mind being the crunching of snow under his boots and the whisper of a voice…
…asking to be found.
000
"If I left…would anyone miss me?"
"Everyone would miss you, Allen."
"Everyone was fine before I arrived. They will be fine when I leave, right?"
"You've left behind too much for everything to be fine."
"You know, you're not making this any less difficult for me."
"You stole the words right out of my mouth."
Allen huffed—annoyed as he dangled his legs from the edge of their clock tower.
They were here to sort things out, think things through.
But the silence didn't hold its usual air of comfort.
There was tension and a symphony of words left unspoken.
"If you have something to say to me, just come out and say it why don't you?"
The redhead shook his head and ran his fingers through his crimson hair.
"Fine, if you're not going to talk, I see no more reason to believe that I'm wanted here."
"How is it that your eyes are so clear, yet so blind to seeing any damn thing that's right in front of you?"
"…What? Lavi, I don't understand—
"Exactly! You don't get it, what will it take for you—
"Stop being so cryptic, Lavi! I'm obviously not as intellectual as you'd like me to be—"
Lips.
000
When it's love
You say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
000
His black cloak floated behind him as he jumped from a ledge, catapulting himself into the cold stone walls of the heavily guarded facility.
He landed with a quiet thud, pressing close to a wall when a few finders equipped with weapons passed him by. He bolted for a nearby door, reaching for his hammer and smashing the lock open, slipping inside.
There were countless hallways and Lavi had no idea which one he should go down, so he trusted his instincts—hoping they'd lead him to him…
Him…
Allen…I'm here…I'm coming.
000
"They told me it's for my arm…but I can't bring myself to trust them anymore. I know that this will be better for everyone here…but they didn't even let me say goodbye, Lavi. And I'm scared, I'm so scared…"
Lavi couldn't find any words good enough to calm down the boy he held in his arms. All he could do was hold him tighter, and soothingly stroke his back. Their clothes were haphazardly strewn on the floor—long forgotten from what had transpired the night before.
Even through the bliss of the previous night lingered the fear, doubt and silent goodbyes.
It was as if they knew it would be their last night together…
Every kiss was one of farewell, every touch as if to remember for one last time—every movement slow and tender, being placed into memory so it would never be forgotten.
They both knew the next day would hold what they had hoped would never come.
000
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
000
"WHO GOES THERE?"
Lavi's heart raced as he sped down hallway after hallway, corridor after corridor, hoping for a sign that it would be Allen's.
He could already hear the footsteps behind him—his body tired from days of travelling.
"HE'S GETTING AWAY!"
No sooner than that being registered, Lavi felt hands seizing his arms, forcibly pulling him back. His eyes caught on a certain door that was made of metal instead of wood and had multiple locks on it.
He knew.
He was so close.
He lurched forward, but was pulled back once more—a voice booming through the corridor.
"Allen Walker died last night at 9:40 PM. His body is to be tested and examined—it is not to be touched or disturbed. I suggest you turn away now, it's no use anymore."
A green eye widened, his heart beating in his ears, slowly disintegrating.
No…they had to be lying. They were lying to him.
"Take one more step, and you too, will be executed on the spot."
000
Every single promise I keep
Because what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most?
000
A sporadic burst of fury burst into his veins as he broke free of the hands, quickly pulling out his hammer and smashing the door open.
Lavi dropped his hammer and ran into the room.
He immediately rushed to Allen's side, in awe of how calm his face was. He was lying on a rundown mattress on the floor in the corner of the room. The walls were dull and gray.
Allen's chest no longer rose up and down with life as it used to on those quiet nights at the Order when he would fall asleep in Lavi's room.
But his face was still so beautifully pale. His lips and cheeks still holding the tiniest traces of pink.
He was bruised and marred with a few more cuts and scars, much to the redhead's anger.
But he was still the most exquisite thing to ever meet Lavi's eyes.
His eyes were flooding with tears, everything echoing in his tortured mind.
Including the bullet that pierced his chest.
Despite the blood that began to gush from him, Lavi smiled—his mind suddenly overcome with only one voice, saying one thing.
Again, and again, and again.
000
"I love you, Lavi…"
000
His heartbeat grew weaker and weaker in his chest as he leaned into those now cold lips, covering them with the warmth of his own—remembering when they were equally warm, if not warmer.
He could sense that the guards were standing in the doorway, but they were all motionless as if they automatically knew how important this moment was to Lavi.
He scooped Allen from the mattress with the remainder of his strength, holding his lifeless body in his arms, whispering to him with the last of his fading breath.
"Allen…Allen, I don't know where you're going but I promise… we can be happy…We can be happy, Allen. I promise that they won't bother us anymore, I won't let them hurt you and test you like you're some animal, because I love you. Oh, I love you, Allen. I love you so much…"
000
I'm forever keeping my angel close.
000
Thanks for reading, please review.