A/N: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT? A STORY? FROM ME?
Yeah. It's portal. Awesomesauce because Portal is the BEST. This here is the silly nonsense prelude to a silly nonsense story about all the people at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Chaos will ensue. Enjoy!

Prelude: A Rude Awakening

At six thirteen on Saturday morning, GLaDOS was awakened by a scream of terror.

She opened her eyes and looked around. There would be alarms going off or a countdown or something if the reactor core was going critical, so that wasn't it. And she imagined if the world was ending or the facility was going to explode for some other reason, there would probably be more screaming. In fact, as far as she could tell, there was no kind of emergency whatsoever.

In which case, there was no excuse for people to be waking her up at this time of morning with screams.

Of course, it was the moron's voice, she reminded herself, exasperated, and tuned into the feed from the security cameras. As far as she could tell, he hadn't gotten himself into anywhere dangerous; the incinerator, the redemption center, and the turret storeroom were all empty of idiotic, useless cores. Outside of the camera feed, she thought she could hear him shouting, but she couldn't make out whatever nonsense he might be spouting. If he wasn't in mortal danger, what was his problem?

Now that she thought about it, something did feel a little strange today. It almost reminded her of the time when she'd been in...that thing. As though her skin wasn't thick enough, or something...

It occurred to her that she should look at herself and see if something was different. Just as she raised her head, several things happened at once. First, the door burst open, and just as she moved she caught a glimpse of a human male in a white-gray suit vaguely reminiscent of the scientists who had once run this place. Second, she found that where her shell ought to have been there was a black metal frame in which what seemed to be a human body was held tightly. Third, she realized that the human in the doorway was speaking in Wheatley's voice.

His words registered just as she figured out for herself the same thing he'd just told her. "Look at me!" he had shouted. "I'm a human! A bloody human! Look!"

She could see that he was a human, but she could have cared less at the moment, because a split second after realizing he was a human, she had noticed something vastly more alarming and terrible.

"No!" she shouted, her voice rising an octave. "This isn't possible! This can't be happening! No—no—no-o-o!" She stared in horror as the human (!) feet above her moved, and the truth sank in: she was the one controlling them. "This is even worse than being a potato!" she shrieked. "I'm...a human!"