Rose buried her face in the shoulder of the new doctor-the doctor that wasn't the doctor-as the tardis disappeared. She didn't care that there was someone holding her-she felt so alone. She felt his arms tighten around her, and she finally looked up at him. He was looking down at her, not smiling, just…looking at her. "C'mon now," he said. "Lets get you off of this beach."
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Rose did her best not to cry as they made the long trek home, but she couldn't speak either. Her mother obviously didn't know what to say, and she was blessedly silent. Rose wondered how much of a challenge that was for her. She rode in the back seat, clinging to the strange human-doctor. She didn't want him, but somehow she couldn't quite bear to let go.
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Eventually they were alone. She had a little flat on her father's property. Even though she could have lived in the main house, or had her own big place elsewhere, she felt more comfortable in a setting similar to her old home. "This is a great place," the not-doctor said when she let him inside.
"It's okay," she muttered, sighing loudly. "Um, would you like a cup of tea? Or…"
"Tea is good," he said quickly.
"Okay." She crossed through the living room to the kitchen, her hands shaking as she filled the kettle and put it on the burner. He followed her, lingering in the doorway. "I know I've got some biscuits in here somewhere," she said, opening the cupboard where the dishes were kept and closing it again, having no idea if there were biscuits or not.
"Rose." He said her name just like HE did. "I know I'm not him. But I _am_ him."
Rose gave a short laugh. "Nothing is ever simple around you, is it?"
"I wouldn't be the Doctor if it was."
"Is that what I should call you? 'Doctor?'"
"I'd like it if you did," he said. "It feels familiar and good. I remember everything you know. I remember the first time we met, I remember how much it hurt every time I thought I had lost you-and when I lost you for good…"
"I thought I was going to die," Rose admitted. "Every day here has been so hard…I love having my father in my life, and my brother-but I haven't been-" her voice cracked as she tried not to cry. "-been happy since I got here. Living without you-without him-" She had to correct herself, because he looked and sounded so much like her Doctor.
"I'm so sorry," he said, pulling her close again and kissing the top of her head. "It's all my fault. But I'm here now. I can be everything that he never could. I'm not going anywhere."
"Because you can't," she whispered, her tears hot on her face.
"Because I don't want to." He pushed her away to arms length, his hands resting on her shoulders. "Rose Tyler. I promise never to leave you again. Not even for a moment, not a minute. If you leave the room, I will follow you like a lost dog-"
She had to laugh and he smiled. It was His smile. It really was him. "You're not going to follow me to the loo, are you?"
"No."
"Good."
"But I'll follow you to the bedroom." Her breath caught in her throat. He had that look-the urgent, serious look that was also a little bit sad. "Sorry. That was too forward of me. It's just, I'm human, and I have all of these…feelings."
She gave him a curious look. "Does the other Doctor not have them?"
"He does," he answered. "But he's over 900 years old and has achieved some level of restraint. I'm only a few hours old, and I will continue to grow older. The idea tends to change one's priorities. I will be perfectly happy with a made-up couch, however."
Rose pondered this for a long time, staring at him. He was so urgent for her not to reject him. But she wasn't sure if she was ready. Not for this. This was too much. She had never expected…this. Not when she slipped between worlds with her giant gun, not when she was still with him, traveling on the Tardis. Not even when they first met, when everything was new, and she was leaving behind her boyfriend without a thought for a strange man. Not because she didn't love him. She loved him since the first time he took her on the Tardis. It was because he was The Doctor. So much more than sex or making out. She'd never met anyone that could be _more._ What if sex spoiled it all?
While she was thinking the kettle began to whistle. She turned off the burner. "I don't really feel like tea," she whispered. "Lets just go to sleep."
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The up side to having a fantabulously rich father was the lovely comfortable king sized bed, and there was plenty of space for the both of them, along with a sea of mattress in between. Rose changed into a night shirt in the bathroom, while the almost-doctor was wearing his t-shirt and a pair of her sweat pants, which fit around the waist even if they were too short. "Lucky I'm so skinny," he said as he slipped under the covers on one side of the bed. He went a little wide-eyed. "I hope I stay that way."
Rose had to laugh as she got in on the other side. "When you're middle aged you'll have a pot-belly."
"That's not funny."
They looked at each other over the bed. "I can't imagine living with you our entire lives. It's too wonderful." She stared down at her hands. "What if its not real? What if its all a dream, and I wake up and you're gone?"
"Then we should make the best of it."
"Is that all you ever think about!"
"Hey now, it's not my fault! I'm just so…ick. Human. If its any consolation, I don't like it."
"You don't like being attracted to me?"
"That's not what I said and you know it. Don't go getting smart with me." He wrenched his pillow out from under his head and tossed it at her. It missed, knocking over the bedside lamp.
"Now you've done it!" She retaliated, hitting him with her own pillow as he tried to grab it away from her. Before she knew it they were wrestling for the pillow and laughing, and it was like all of the horrible things had never happened. She found herself in the middle of the bed, pressed up against him, one of her legs thrown over his. The pillow was under both of their heads and their faces were inches from each other. "I missed you," she breathed. "So much."
"Please don't cry again. I hate it when you cry."
She kissed him. Just a peck on the lips, but he opened his mouth to her, and his hand slid up her arm and wrapped around the back of her head. God, he could kiss. She should have been doing this with him the entire time. She should have-hands! Hands in new places- "Should I stop?" he asked, whispering into her ear.
She couldn't speak so she only shook her head.
He was _her_ Doctor. Finally. All hers.